Young at Heart

You can’t really lose with a concept like this. Old people singing rock and roll? It’s almost too easy. And they’re old, so someone’s bound to die. And that’s sad. So, as sweet and funny as this movie sometimes is, it made me terrified of growing old.

Turn the River

A low-budget indie starring pretty Famke Janssen as a pool hustler. Janssen is solid and sympathetic, but it’s clear the filmmakers tried to make her asexual. Unfortunate, because all I could think about during the movie was, “How come nobody in the movie notices how pretty she is?” Tone wise it’s a bit of a downer, too. But all-in-all an excellent showcase for an actor who’s used to playing superhumans to spread her dramatic wings.

Forbidden Kingdom

A really fun kung-fu dream. Beautifully filmed, expertly choreographed, and exciting. The script is paper-thin and goofy, but the sense of adventure and regard for the genre are superb.

Zombie Strippers

A new gold standard for exploitation. Filled with references to current politics, sexual and national, and hidden gems of overt existentialism. All of which is really a ruse to show lots of titties. It’s brilliant. It could have been shorter; certain running jokes and subplots start to get a little tedious. It lacks an economy of schlock. Also, unfortunately, the movie doesn’t cling to one hero. There are multiple protagonists and it’s hard to know who to root for. Nevertheless, it’s an almost perfect example of a specific kind of… um… theatre-of-the-absurd? (There’s a character named, “Ian Essko.” Get it? I did. Sort of. Or did I?)

Forgetting Sara Marshall

I can’t say enough about how good this is. The laugh-per-minute ratio is about the highest I’ve experienced since, well, The 40-Year-Old Virgin. But it’s not crude. It’s dirty, but the jokes are all contextual, and they’re spawned directly from the hapless hero’s painful situations. The pain is excruciatingly real, and you can tell the writer/star Jason Segel mined his own personal experiences; sacrificing himself for the relief of others. It’s an incredibly heartfelt and accurate account of the poor guy who has to hold the pretty girl’s purse while she goes out and lives. There’s no better example of this than the gut-wrenching comparison between the old girlfriend Kristen Bell’s bitchy reaction to the hero’s labor-of-love musical number, and the supportive applause of the newfound dreamgirl Mila Kunis. It’s a new benchmark of honesty and humiliation.

Cat City

A more appropriate title might be, “Let’s All Kick Julian Sands in the Balls!” In this desert noir, Julian Sands takes it in the jewels (metaphorically) from about every character in the movie. Poor guy! BRILLIANTLY edited by Pete Sepenuk, Cat City is a fun, low-budget crime-drama with some good performances by some of the cast, and some dodgy performances by others. Suffice to say, Rebecca Pidgeon plays the put-upon wife skillfully, and her ass looks rock-hard in a bikini.

The Battle of San Pietro/ Let There Be Light

Two documentaries produced by the War Department during World War 2 and directed by John Huston. Both were films meant to be and known to be honest depictions of the war and the psychological aftermath. During Q&A, Huston relatives and historians still insist these are unstaged and accurate docs. But they were BOTH phonier than a 3-dollar bill. Almost laughably fake.

Street Kings

Keanu Reeves is going to TAKE BACK THE STREETS! So, it's a big barrage of cop cliches, complete with the ubiquidous revenge for the slain partner, breaking every rule in the book to nab the bad guy, drinking on the job, and, of course, finding out that the conspiracy goes a lot higher than the hero imagined. Keanu embodies his characters, there's no doubt. His physicality is always imposing. And as his sidekick, Chris Evans is earnest and robust. But MAN, was this predictable. It's like it was written by a horrible, cop-drama-generating robot. It's already a Zucker brothers or Wayans brothers comedy; they don't even need to bother with the spoof. Forest Whitaker doesn't even play a human being. He's the Frankenstein monster of over-the-top, yelling, police commanders. Keanu deserves better. Maybe he should stick to sci-fi. He's never better than when he's got his feet in a big pot of water and he's staring into the eyes of a cat.

Smart People

Dennis Quaid gives this the old college try, but he’s more believable as a cowboy or a secret-service agent. He affected some “quirks” for his intellectual character that were a little too transparent. Ellen Page was okay, but the script (or something about the movie) made her desires unclear. Thank God for Thomas Heyden Church, a kazoo in an orchestra of violins. He effortlessly steals the show, and just barely pushes this movie into “worth seeing.” Otherwise, instead of Smart People, it could have been called "Dull People."

Leatherheads

The concept is winning but the tone is a mess. Is it a football history or a screwball comedy? Some of the scenes were semi-serious with moody lighting and whispery, sexy, Out of Sight-style acting. Other scenes were right out of a Howard Hawks comedy. Bold lighting, zany music, but a little slow with the snappy dialogue. Screwball comedy needs to be faster and louder. Clooney’s biggest enemy is himself here. He wants the best of both genres. Instead he gets a boring combination.

The Ruins

Surprisingly good performances in what is otherwise a sub-par, xenophobic campfire tale. There’s no cause and effect here. The “villain” isn’t what causes all the problems, so it’s hard to focus your emotion on anything tangible. However, the acting, especially by Jena Malone and Laura Ramsey, is unusually, almost incongruously good for this kind of movie. It’s worth seeing for that alone; in spite of the fact that you’ll wish, as I did, that all of this good acting could have been based on a more interesting script.