The Room

Some critics say 2003's The Room is the worst movie ever made. It was reportedly $6 million to produce and self-distributed by the star, producer, director. It’s become a cult event now, taking over a 5-theatre multiplex with midnight revelers who scream jokes, make fun of the characters, laugh at the genuinely bad lines and throw things at the screen. As an experience, it was a lot of fun, and I admittedly wasn’t in the mood for an ironically bad movie. Nevertheless, I laughed wholeheartedly at the snappy audience quips and the truly awful drama. I’m not sure if I’d see it again. Once may be enough. But it’s worth it for the laughs and the shared experience.

World's Greatest Dad

A great, funny and courageous comedy written and directed by Bob Goldthwait that dares to dive into a bottomless pit of unexplored taboos. Robin Williams expertly embodies a confused dad, frustrated by his career and fed-up with his perverted son. The son, played by Daryl Sabara from Spy Kids, goes toe-to-toe with Williams, skillfully trading barbs while being both funny and creepy. The plot takes several hilariously dark turns and features some great comic performances in the supporting cast. But above all it’s the script, daring to find great cynicism in a tragic death, and scrutinizing the characters who can exploit that death for their own purposes. It also explores a theme I’m noticing a lot in movies and TV lately: groupthink, and the willingness to believe a massive lie because it’s the less painful option. (see Lars and the Real Girl, The Mist) Kudos to Goldthwait and company!

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

Forgettable Used Cars derivative with an underused cast and only a smattering of funny bits. John Landis’ 2004 doc Slasher is a much better bet.

Inglourious Basterds

Yes, it runs long. At times it drags. But every prolonged scene is a lit fuse ready to explode. The pay-off is always satisfying. Likewise, Tarantino and company cast fantastically. Each face is uniquely mesmerizing. Every German looks really German. The eyes of Mélanie Laurent, huge and sad, beautifully reflect her own personal nightmares of the war. And the villain! The perfectly evil, cunning, and deceptively eccentric Nazi colonel played by Christoph Waltz, is also a ticking bomb, the results of which are entirely unexpected. Brad Pitt is barely part of the allure here. It’s the rest of the well-cast ensemble that makes this so watch-able. And it’s the deeply satisfying, visceral resolutions to the ridiculous problems set forth in Tarantino’s overstuffed script that make this so deliciously vindictive.

And now a word about revisionist history. If our politicians can lie so regularly and openly about hidden weapons, U.S Attorney firings, and torturing detainees, and if people can pull “death panels” out of their asses during a health care debate, why not rewrite history? There’s no doubt in my mind someone, some day, will believe this is a true story. For some people, it’s easier to believe the lie.

Also, SO much better than Death Proof.

District 9

The essential part of any “Martians invade Earth” movie is the human reaction. And it’s almost always an allegory of how we treat ourselves. In the case of District 9, the burden falls on actor Sharlto Copley who embodies a bureaucratic, camera-aware dweeb thrust into the public eye by chance, the portrayal of whom is an absolute revelation. This is archetypal everyman undergoes such a profound change of philosophy – he doesn’t deserve an Oscar, he deserves a Nobel Prize. It’s not that District 9 is totally original -- we’ve seen many of the plot points before. But the tone, the casting, and the portrayal of the reluctant hero are so fresh and so original, it’s impossible not to feel like you’ve seen something completely new. The treatment of the aliens, as the thinly veiled allegory goes, is disgracefully moving. Along with Hurt Locker this is one of the best movies of the year, so far.

Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus

I couldn’t resist the rare opportunity to see a z-grade, made-for-cable monster movie starring Lorenzo Lamas on the big screen. And it was as bad as it sounds. It was laughable how much stock footage they used, and how many times, over and over again, they used the exact same shots! Still, there’s something admirable here. They know what they’re making, they know how bad it is, they do it with conviction and they have a market. But I can’t really recommend this under any circumstances — unless you’re dying to see a giant shark jump out of the ocean to catch and eat a commercial airliner!

Thirst

A romantic but twisted revision of the vampire legend, wherein a priest is infected through a blood-transfusion and is overcome with lust. Very involved, sweeping, and quite likely expensive, it’s a feast for the eyes. “Crouching Tiger” style leaps and chases arise through busy streets, while blood and light carefully paint every frame. Performances from the lovers are fantastic, especially Kim Ok-Vin who undergoes many radical transformations, the least of which have to do with vampirism itself. But it varies wildly in tone, the romance begets lust begets violence begets surrealism begets comedy, and suddenly you’re so far from the reality the movie establishes at the beginning it’s downright unsettling. It’s long and strange, but it’s something different, if you’ve had your fill of G.I. Joe and Harry Potter.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Not as bad as everyone is saying. Certainly not as bad as Transformers. 99% of the cast knows what kind of movie it is and they all ham it up fittingly. Only one poor hold-out thinks it’s Black Hawk Down. Unfortunately, it’s the main guy: Channing Tatum. Somebody forgot to tell him he was starring in a movie based on a cartoon and a line of toys. He’s about as inappropriately serious as Sean Penn at an awards show. Funny to say, but he could take a few acting lessons from Joseph Gordon-Levitt or Sienna Miller, who might say,"Lighten up! Have fun with it."

A Perfect Getaway

A great airplane movie. Sure, you might not want to spend the evening and the big bucks, but you’d be psyched if this was the in-flight show. It’s perfect escapism, a perfect waste of time. Plot twists and action twists are expected but fun, and kudos to Timothy Olyphant and Steve Zahn for tinkering playfully with their “types.”