Step Brothers

Silly. Frivolous. Bursts of hilarity, but not consistently funny. Three endings. Two of them were good. Impressive array of supporting improvisers including Kathryn Hahn, Andrea Savage, & Gillian Vigman. A kitchen sink comedy –- throw everything in and hope people laugh at something.

Journey to the Center of the Earth

The 3-D effects were stunning and flawless. The script? Eh… Not so much. The story’s really corny. But, it’s a fun and gimmicky family movie, and the 3-D is the best part about it. (Better than Captain EO!) So, see it in 3-D or don’t see it at all. Never, never watch it on video.

The X Files - I Want to Believe

It’s nice to see Mulder and Scully again, but the truth is, this isn’t more than a serviceable two-part episode. It lacks scope. When the creepy premise finally comes to light, they never show you the “monster.” So it’s just not very exciting. Anderson and Duchovny embody their characters and bring their “A” games. But Chris Carter as a director stumbles because he neglects to show us the “money shot.” I didn’t hate it, but I can’t recommend it.

The Dark Knight

Second viewing in one day. This should surprise no one.

The Dark Knight

(WARNING: Spoiler-rific!)

Chris Nolan and the Batman cast and crew finally bring the brutality that’s been in the comics for many years to theatres. It’s an ambitious and noble effort filled with highly elevated themes and a complicated crime-drama plot out of the Michael Mann/Scorsese playbook. Nolan et al regard the source material more highly than any of the previous incarnations and it gives you a lump in your throat to see Batman portrayed with such dignity.

There’s a lot of hullabaloo about Heath Ledger, and yes he’s great, but it’s not the second coming. He gets a great script to work with, he gets the great, freaky-ass make-up, and he gets about 68 years of comic-book villain appearances to draw from. So the legend should get some of the credit for his eerie performance. The most nuanced and most difficult performance here is Gary Oldman’s Commissioner Gordon. Joker’s a straight line. Gordon has to dance around his alliance with Batman, distrust yet humor everyone in the Gotham P.D., plead for the lives of his kids, and even get slugged by his duped wife. (Sensationally portrayed by Melinda McGraw!)

Where the movie faults, if you want to call it that, is when logic takes a back seat so the Joker can present large-scale metaphors, engorging us with theme, when small aperitifs will do. The Joker’s evil plans are successful at first, but eventually they’re thwarted not by Batman but by the good nature of the citizens of Gotham. He doesn’t seem phased though, and it feels too easy to say that the Joker doesn’t care if his plans don’t work out because, well, he’s crazy. I missed the moment when the Joker realizes, though he succeeded in destroying the hero Harvey Dent and converting him into a psychopathic murderer, the Gotham-ites will never know. Batman’s going to absorb the heat. This bit of news should really drive the Joker (ah-hem) batty but, alas, the chapter ends. We’ll just have to hear about it in The Dark Knight Returns. Ultimately, Nolan and Batman do a little profound expanding on the definition of hero. Not only does a hero save everyone’s ass, but they also take responsibility for the foibles of weaker men, if that’s what it takes to keep the peace.

Baghead

Fun and worthwhile micro-budget comedy-relationship-horror movie. Clever, with decent performances, though some scenes drag-on despite the deceptively short 80-minute running time. Greta Gerwig stands out as a sneaky, manipulative blonde in a ditsy shell.

The Love Guru

First, let me explain why I saw this. The plan was to see Journey to the Center of the Earth. But when we got to our seats (reserved seating) there were two old ladies sitting there. We told the ushers we didn’t mind sitting in the old lady’s seats, we just needed their ticket stubs. They don’t have them. So when we go sit in their seats, people show up to tell us we’re in the wrong seats. Cut to: 10 minutes later, the ushers running around trying to find us tickets and finally we say, “Fuck it.” We get our money back and Arclight gives us a free movie for our trouble. The only thing starting soon that we hadn’t seen was The Love Guru. So…

I don’t know what to say. It was terrible. But on the positive side, it did help remind me how important the ol’ Joseph Campbell, hero’s journey archetypes are. Basic storytelling: Create a hero, upset their ordinary world, and make them want something. If Mike Meyers and company had followed some of the simplest rules of storytelling, instead of making the Love Guru an unsympathetic, unfunny, narcissistic prick, than they might not have perpetrated the catastrophe they managed to.

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

Amazing. Beautifully designed and awesome to behold. The plot is downright goofy. One tyrant, angry at humans, wants to take over the world with giant, golden robot soldiers? Weird. Although it’s visually stunning and packed full of imagination, there’s plenty of humanity, too. Of all things, you’ll leave the movie humming Barry Manilow and might regard the best scene in the show as the “Tecate” scene.

Wackness

You know how in a movie there’s a flashback? And in the flashback the colors are all faded and everything’s really blown-out and over-exposed? Now imagine a whole movie filmed like that: in “flashback cam.” Once again, like Hancock, the masturbatory cinematography undermines the entire story. Too, Wackness tries so hard to be cool by injecting every band and every pop-culture reference from 1994 to remind us that we’re in a flashback movie. It’s eye-rollingly bad. It’s a shame because the lead, formerly tubby child actor Josh Peck, at times believes he’s in a better movie than he really is. He’s actually able to be meaningful at times, in spite of the self-indulgent screenwriter, director, and cinematographer. Wackness is a tragedy on an epic scale, because in different hands, it might have been interesting.

Hancock

If you liked Friday Night Lights, you’ll love Hancock! (Wait. What? Hancock is like Friday Night Lights?? That doesn’t make any sense.) Unfortunately, it’s true. Peter Berg et al shot their troubled superhero movie in that hand-held, docudrama, “Cinéma vérité” feel and it just doesn’t work. There’s nothing wrong with the concept, or Will Smith, or the rest of the cast. But the shooting style is all wrong. Plot twists in the latter half might’ve worked better if they hadn’t been filmed as if Jimmy the linebacker was just paralyzed and will never play football again. It doesn’t really spoil anything to say Hancock doesn’t have his kryptonite. There’s no super-villain. Hancock’s worst enemy is himself. Seems like the same holds true for the filmmakers. Too bad. The concept’s really good. Maybe it’ll get a reboot in five years like The Hulk and maybe they won’t get a color-blind epileptic to shoot it. (Apologies to epileptic and vision-impaired readers.)