The Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse

Competent zomedy. Could have been worse.

Spectre

** SPOILERS. LOTS OF 'EM **

... starts out with an amazing action sequence in Mexico, delivering all you could ever want in a Bond movie. But the rest of the movie is kind of by-the-numbers, never blowing the lid off of the genre the way Mission Impossible did over the summer. There are moments of levity that feel like throwbacks to the Roger Moore era, which is nice. But Craig seems like he’s playing it too deadpan, bored with his job, as an actor and a spy. The casting of Christoph Waltz and the guy who plays Moriarty in Sherlock feels lazy. Cast guys who have already played famous villains as villains? Meh. If you’ve got Mission Impossible and Mad Max to compete with, you’re going to have to surprise me a little.

Bridge of Spies

With Spielberg directing a Coen brothers script, you would think this would be a fireball. Instead, it’s a muted drama about negotiation. Hanks embodies his insurance lawyer expertly as he confidently negotiates with badass, cold-war spies and diplomats. What’s nice about this, too, is learning a little piece of American history that I never knew.

Unfortunately for Spielberg, Janusz Kaminski, and the rest of the highly talented artists who worked to depict the cold war era as moodily as possible, the projectionist at the AMC Cherry Creek mall cinema didn’t care enough to focus the projector in the theater, mostly ruining the look of the movie. It’s no wonder everybody’s staying home and watching Netflix these days. I should go on Yelp and complain. Yep. That’s what I should do.

The Walk

Joe Levitt is the consummate and dedicated professional, willing to fully commit to his roles, emotionally and physically. (50/50, Inception) When you’re listening to his French accent, you just have to trust that it’s accurate and he didn’t learn it from watching Peppy LePew, even though sometimes he sounds a bit like Peppy Lepew, and/or Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau.

Because we know the World Trade Center doesn’t exist anymore, every frame of this movie has to be made digitally from scratch. An amazing feat, and an emotional tightrope of sorts. Because this movie intends to move the audience to reimagine the twin towers as new, amazing pillars of architecture. Filmmakers attempt to help us forget, for a while, the images of the burning, crumbling, ground-zero targets that are constantly being used to re-justify the war in Iraq.

 So there’s a sense of child-like wonder here. Of optimism. And it’s a nice sentiment. As for the plot and characters, that’s all secondary to the experience of watching the movie. Having your knees buckle in the theater as the “camera” swoops up, down, and all around the high-wire act. It’s more like a ride than a movie. Don’t bother watching it on video, it won’t work. Ultimately, it’s an achievement in technology, not story-telling. There’s nothing wrong with that, I suppose. But just remember, you can’t complain if you watch this on Netflix and it seems fluffy and a little boring.

Pan

Doing another adaptation of "Peter Pan" is tricky business, but if ever there was anybody to do it, it would be Joe Wright. The imagination here is incredible. Flying ships, flying children, and shit-ton of visual fairy dust. Unfortunately, the script and some of the choices are weird. There’s an awkward use of modern music that sticks out like a fart in church. The plot, and Peter’s "quest," is baffling and goes unfulfilled. The CGI is the star here, which is not enough.

The Martian

** SPOILER ALERT! **

 Ridley Scott has been hit and miss lately, but this is a hit and I recommend it. In a perfect, beautiful, laser-guided plot-point, 15 minutes into the movie Matt Damon’s character Mark Watney declares, “I’m not going to die here.” Filmmakers choose to avoid this astronaut’s personal life, and instead focus their terrestrial b-plot on the NASA scientists determined to get him home, but also avoid what seems like an inevitable P.R. disaster. Meanwhile, Watney’s Castaway on Mars adventure is tense and watchable; surviving with potatoes, duct-tape, and disco music. (There’s a surprising amount of levity in these scenes…) While it’s true you never think he’s going to die, it’s fascinating watching him stay calm as he leaps the next hurdle by the skin of his teeth. I’m happy for Sir Ridley, who’s made a couple of duds lately. (The Counselor, etc.) At 78, he’s still a maestro of science fiction, attempting projects most of his contemporaries would never touch, and occasionally succeeding far more visibly than his prodigy. (think Interstellar.) Nominations are forthcoming.