Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver

I checked out the latest space opera where a group of farmers on a small moon rise up and rebel against the fascists with their laser guns and their laser swords. There’s a bunch of robots and spaceships the special effects are pretty good. Is it a Star War? No, it is not. For better or worse, you have to hand it to Sofia Boutella. The Algerian dancer is not particularly famous, although she’s been in a few big movies. But she’s fully committed; fighting and crying and shaving her head. She can kick ass and be vulnerable. And this entire Zack Snyder series is resting on her shoulders. (One thing you can say absolutely for certain is she’s a MUCH better actor than Gina Carano.) Certain sequences in this are awesome and beautiful to behold, but others are so corny and plastic. Snyder is still in love with slow motion and glowing, burning embers flying at the actors. Everything is too much of this, too much of that. There’s no modulation from the overly important, serious tone. So, it’s a mixed bag.

Abigail

So, everyone knows: children and ballerinas are ALL evil, right? With a premise this wildly entertaining, the execution only needs to be serviceable for this to be a success. So, while it’s not overly ambitious, it checks all the boxes with the requisite number of (spoiler alert) exploding people and pools of dead bodies and pithy wisecracks. With 2 (two) actors from Downton Abby, the cast is all good, covered in blood and hamming it up with Grand Guignol flourish. The pre-pubescent vampire ballerina (Alisha Weir) is WAY better than one would ever expect, which holds the whole thing together. The pro-wrestling climax is not as surprising or as original as it’s great predecessor Ready or Not, so walking out of the theater is not as much of a rush. But it’s still a sweet, bloody confection to be enjoyed if not overtly admired.

Joy

This eluded me when it came out in 2015. The ad campaign made it look like David O Russell’s sub-par sequel to Silver Linings Playbook and American Hustle. Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, and Bradley Cooper AGAIN?? Reviews were bad, even though JLAW got another Oscar nomination. I never knew what it was about, other than another bickering family. But suddenly this appears on the airplane menu, and this was GOOD. The reductive premise is it’s a biopic about a woman who invents a mop. But the obstacles she faces, especially from her own family, make this interesting and turmoil-filled. Despite melodramatic diversions (there’s a “soap-opera” refrain throughout), I found myself fully invested, pulling for the hero, and appreciating the happy ending.

The First Omen

It’s called The First Omen, but it picks-up in the middle of a Catholic Church conspiracy where there’ve already been plenty of previous omens. The “nuns-ploitation” unfolds in a predictable way, and seems to be intent on being an allegory for what happens when an authority (evil nuns) takes away abortion rights from young women who have been impregnated by beings by whom they didn’t choose to be impregnated. The principal nun (Nell Tiger Free) commits to the bit and handles the possession devil-baby stuff with aplomb. More yucky than scary.

Monkey Man

The good news is: Dev Patel made a movie. He and the crew did a bang-up job – a combination of a Van Damme/Jackie Chan/John Woo revenge fantasy and an Indian, socio-political commentary. But it’s a very large, very hot cup of coffee. It’s a lot. It’s a barrage of action. Quick cuts and shaky-cam. Ironic music. It rarely breathes and it’s hard to FEEL anything with this frenetic, indulgent assault. Mistakes were made, the biggest of which is not revealing the backstory earlier. I hope it does well. I hope it makes money. But it’s exhausting. My eyeballs were tired afterwards. I hope the editor gets treatment for an obvious cocaine addiction. 

As I watched I wondered, “Why do people watch these movies?” The gun-fu action isn’t going to re-invent the wheel. The familiar tropes, the hero, the villain, the hooker with a heart of gold, the kid, aren’t going to resonate, per se. There’s a feeling to get - like when Captain America picks up Thor’s hammer. Or when Neo stops the bullets in mid-air with is mind. Or when Furiosa rips off Immortan Joe’s face. It’s a primal satisfaction. A pay off. Lots of punching and blood isn’t going to get you there. And an ambiguous ending won’t provide the rush of adrenalin and oxytocin the audience wants. Tension and release needs to be addressed. Satisfaction needs to be addressed. Even for a violent gun-fu movie made for hyperactive, young males.