Wall-E

I know, I know. We’ve seen it before: robots with human characteristics. Robots in love. Number 5 is alive. Blade Runner. R2-D2. The loveable robot’s been done, right? Just because something’s been done, doesn’t mean there isn’t room for something to be done REALLY, REALLY well. This sublime Pixar feature understands what a “man” will go through to impress a woman who would just as soon shoot him down with a laser cannon. It scarily predicts we’re are all destined to become big, fat, wasteful slobs too dependant on technology. Wall-E understands things about love, duty and humanity. Like all good movies that anthropomorphize animals or inanimate objects, we could stand to learn a thing or two. The poignancy of Wall-E is profound. He has one job: to crush Earth waste into little cubes. He just wants to meet people. He just wants to hold hands. He’s lonely and he needs to connect, whether they’re perfect specimens like Eve, or the broken misfits who dare to be different and who help save the day anyway. 50 years from now, people will look back on this movie in amazement the way people look back on Bambi. Bet on it. So get off the phone and relate to people, before it’s too late.

Wanted

It’s an ultra-violent, hyper-real, orgy of style from the Russian dude who directed Night Watch and Day Watch. The plot is paper-thin, but the action scenes are admittedly fun; though the “training-the-assassin” bits get a little repetitive. The plot takes from Alias and the style takes from The Matrix so it’ll all be familiar: the laws of physics are ignored with Red-Bull-fueled bravado. If you like watching gun fights from the point-of-view of the bullet, turn off your brain and enjoy.

The Incredible Hulk

(2nd time)
No new revelations, but I did catch a little bit of the Ang Lee movie on TV since my first viewing of this. It’s cool! There’s STYLE. They really tried to invoke the feeling of reading a comic book with visuals, pace, and transitions. They really took a risk to try to do something cool. In this “reboot” as they call it, there are no risks. Lots of chasing, lots of fighting. Decent. But no real rewards.

Get Smart

This will be a great movie to catch on the plane in about 6 months. It’s funny, but not that funny. It’s action-packed, but not thrilling, and the cast is likeable, but by no means great. It’s enjoyable, and yet totally forgettable, which is why it’ll be a great diversion when you’re flying to Missouri or wherever.

The Incredible Hulk

Ang Lee’s been getting kicked around a lot lately. “Boo Hoo! The old hulk was too green. The new hulk is better ‘cause he’s more olive-colored and there’s more action.” Well, guess what: the Ang Lee movie was better. It’s true, there’s more fighting in the new one, but not necessarily more action. The fugitive plot is weak and lacks the stakes a comic book movie needs. There’s no end game for the villains, no evil plan. And the thing that the hero wants, he doesn’t even come close to getting. So the story’s really unsatisfying. It’s true: the fighting scenes are action-packed, but if you don’t care enough about the characters, watching two CG monsters fight is a lot like watching someone else play a videogame.

The Happening

M. Night Shymalan went from the “twist ending” to the “no ending.” This starts out well with a couple of scary and violent sequences, but it all adds up to diddly-squat. There’s no point to the movie, there’s no emotional struggle for the characters, and some of the acting is unintentionally laughable. It’s also one of those movies where the main characters don’t seem to do what is logical, but they act in accordance with what is convenient for the plot and the filmmakers. Therefore the main characters are impossible to relate to because they don’t make any rational, normal human choices, like for example, putting on a friggin’ dust mask! I reiterate, for the best, scary end-of-the-world scenario, rent The Mist.

Kung Fu Panda

Thoroughly enjoyable and delightful animated romp. Jack Black’s weird comic timing is perfectly suited for his panda alter ego. All the voice work was terrific. And it’s strange to say, but the action scenes and fights were beautifully choreographed. (It’s strange because, well, they WEREN’T choreographed, they were animated.) There’s a battle with two sets of chopsticks fighting over one dumpling that’s one of the most hilarious, creative fights I’ve ever seen. This was great.