Doug's Favorite Movies of 2006

Brick
Idiocracy
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Children of Men
Apocalypto
The Departed
Little Miss Sunshine
The Descent
Notes on a Scandal

Honorable mention:
Nacho Libre
Inside Man
Thank You For Smoking
The Queen
Casino Royale
Little Children

Pan's Labyrinth

An unlikely but imaginative fusion of old-fashioned war movie and a Harry Potter movie. People would probably find this ridiculous if it were in English, but the Spanish lends some merit and mystery to the proceedings. Great performances by the little girl, Ivana Baquero, and the Hitler-esque fascist villain, Sergi López. A strong, visceral reaction from the Arclight audience indicates the filmmakers successfully mined some innate fears and genuinely violent human impulses.

Babel

Suffers from a lack of dramatic modulation. There is too much emotional tension and not enough release. Made me feel like I’d been dragged behind a truck for two and a half hours. Performances were exceptional, but it feels like there are scenes missing. The ending leaves me wanting more closure. Despite all of this, it gripped me.

The Good Shepherd

Deniro tries to dramatize Matt Damon’s aloof spy by making him keep secrets from his family and colleagues. But in doing so, he’s also keeping secrets from the audience. It’s impossible to be engaged by this movie. It’s not clear who Damon’s character is, what he wants, or how he can get it. Nowhere is there a better example of a movie which fails by NOT following the three-act structure. See The Good German instead.

Rocky Balboa

Though this was certainly made for some cynical reason, Rocky Balboa doesn’t have a cynical bone in its whole body. It’s a simple glory-tale sports metaphor with some good writing and a lot of important speeches about “going one more round” etc. Neither great nor bad, it serves as an example of the lesson it teaches – going one more round, for no better reason than you want to.

Altered

Fun but forgettable take on alien body snatchers. Clever use of its small budget and limited locations.

The Good German

The dark side of Casablanca. Imagine if everybody in Casablanca who wins loses, and everybody who loses wins. Beautifully shot, directed, and acted. Great music. A sublime homage. But dark, baby. Dark. (Reminded me a little of Syriana, strangely enough.)

Blood Diamond

DiCaprio is GREAT in this. Perhaps better than The Departed, if only because the writing here is cheesy and Leo sells it with conviction. Plot had me until the final third. Then it gets a little preachy.

Apocalypto

I was amazed by this. It’s epic, it’s suspenseful, it’s historic, and it thrusts us into a world WE HAVE NEVER BEEN BEFORE. It’s also a great parable for the wastefulness of an opulent society and how to survive by respecting nature. If Mel weren’t a crazy, drunken, anti-Semite he’d be up for best picture. Seriously. I was stunned.

Touristas

All about the bikinis. Tries to mislead by pretending to be about something else, but becomes all about the thing they tell you it’s about. Then there’s an underwater set-piece that has nothing to do with anything. But really all about the bikinis. I believe it takes a true artist to try to understand the thing that compels them and to explore that. Director John Stockwell (Blue Crush, Into the Blue) needs to do this. He needs to dig deep, go out on a limb and really try to understand his bikini fetish. We will all be grateful.

The Queen

Second viewing.

Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny

It's not required that you are high to enjoy this, but it would help. Really silly, but actually sticks to the hero's journey formula pretty well. The thing about Tenacious D - the songs are actually pretty good.

Deja Vu

Suspenseful, but by-the-numbers thriller. Lengthy sci-fi explanations by quintessential geek Adam Goldberg bog down the proceedings, but Denzel keeps the plot relatively grounded as he plays everything really straight.

The Fountain

Beautifully rendered, utterly confusing.

Casino Royale

Second viewing. Great movie.

For Your Consideration

Disappointing, since I love the Chris Guest movies. But the characters are too outlandish and they all exist in a bubble far away from Hollywood, where there is no internet or young people. I love Parker Posey (she was the best thing about Superman Returns) and even SHE wears a little thin at the end, especially after a nice and sincere arc. Ho-hum.

Casino Royale

All-around great. Entertaining. Kick-ass. Fun. Cops out a little in the end. (I thought of a better ending.) Poker scenes are long and a bit boring. But a smashing success otherwise.

Borat

Not all that funny for me. Humiliating real people makes me nervous, even if they do deserve it. I admire the conviction and commitment of Cohen though, especially for the nude wrestling scene. Yikes.

Stranger Than Fiction

Well-done and engaging, but won't resonate. Truman Show lite. Generally likable though, and fun for the whole family.

The Queen

The subject matter is less commendable; a love-note to Princess Di. But the execution here is consummate. This is a supremely well-made movie about the power of denial. Most likely a Best Picture nominee.

Inland Empire

I admire David Lynch for many reasons. I loved Mulholland Drive. He’s a role model of mine. But this! This shot-on-cheap-video, rabbit-head-wearing, mind-bender confused the hell out of me. And I resent it that Lynch won’t explain what it is, or what he was going after. I can’t recommend it. Although Laura Dern was a good sport and went along with whatever it was Lynch was doing. You’ve got to hand it to her.

Lynch would like to claim that it’s like an abstract painting. That you can’t explain it. But movies are a temporal art form (McKee) and making somebody sit there for three hours means you need to be clear about what the hell’s going on. Even if clarity means it’s not SUPPOSED to be clear. Am I being clear?

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Still amazing, but the animation seems dated, believe it or not. Lots of advances, I guess, since 1993.

Little Children

Many really interesting and original things about this. I loved the narration. Great performances, especially Jackie Earle Haley of Bad News Bears and Breaking Away fame. Runs off track a lot, and doesn't add up to much, but high points for originality and daring.

Ikiru

Kurosawa weepie about a dying, old beurocrat determined to build a playground. Nice enough, but loooong.

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane

Forgettable dead-teenager horror flick made by AFI grads. Catchy title, but by-the-numbers "execution."

Running With Scissors

Really annoying, masturbatory, and pretentious. Wants to be John Irving or Wes Anderson "eclectic" but fails. Pretty sucky.

The Prestige

Second viewing.

Flags of Our Fathers

Confusing because of a jumbled flashback structure. Characters are hard to connect with. Could have been all about the Ira Hayes character. Didn’t resonate.

The Prestige

Tight, interesting, and well-performed. There's one slightly annoying deception, but it doesn't mar the overall enjoyment.

Man of the Year

There's nothing more UN-funny than Robin Williams trying to be funny. One of the worst movies I've ever seen.

The Departed

Definitely one of the best movies of the year. DiCaprio’s simmering performance eclipses the slight leaps in plot logic. Nicholson’s just doing his stock act, and comes off phoning it in a bit compared to Damon, Marky-Mark, et al. A movie with real balls.

Jackass Number 2

I like the stunts, but I don’t like it when they go out on the street and fuck with innocent strangers who aren’t in on the joke. A highlight is Johnny Knoxville hanging onto a big-ass rocket as it shoots several hundred feet in the air. Evel Knievel had nothing on these guys.

Marie Antoinette

An unflattering portrayal of an unsympathetic character. Sophia Coppola wants us to believe this isn’t about the empty life of a rich girl obsessed with shoes. But it is.

The Black Dahlia

Individual scenes were interesting, but the ending was terrible and the whole thing added up to nothing. The best performance of the movie was Mia Kirshner, the victim, who shows up in seized screen tests crazy and vulnerable.

The Wicker Man

A bona-fide train wreck. One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. The Wicker Man is a prime example of sarcasm without irony, so the laughs are laughs of embarrassment for the filmmakers, not the characters on screen. To pull off this kind of satire, there needs to be a sincere hope by the audience that a character, however delusional, will get what they want. Nurse Betty, for example – a better Neil LaBute movie. But Nic Cage’s dour performance offsets any need to see him succeed, and therefore his quest becomes meaningless. Does that make sense? No? Okay, well it was dumb. They weren’t even trying.

Beerfest

Sort of funny, light-hearted frat-guy movie about big, dumb Americans who have an inflated sense of entitlement. Could have been shorter. Still, it’s the first movie I’ve seen that features more than one familiar drinking game.

Idiocracy

Mike Judge’s funny and really skewering satire of American culture. Not that the script is so wonderful, but the JOKES. A movie I discussed a LOT with the few people who saw it, and the consensus was it was worthwhile and unique.

Crank

Macho, stupid, funny, sexist & totally ridiculous. Exactly what I expected. Asides; little edited vignettes used to explain plot, etc. were hilarious. Soccer hooligan Statham is great for this kind of thing – running around in a hospital gown with a boner kicking people’s asses. I like Amy Smart, too.

The Illusionist

Actually more of a costume drama than anything else. Strong performances from Norton, Giamatti, and Biel. Kind of boring.

Snakes On A Plane

Fascinating, in that it exploits the hype of hype. There's no good movie here; only an ad campaign. Audience members yelled key lines along with Samuel Jackson -- on opening night! How could they have known? Could have been a lot better. The movie I mean. The ad campaign was perfect.

Little Miss Sunshine

One of the best movies of the year, so far. Not all that original, but very well done.

Talladega Nights - The Legend of Ricky Bobby

Ricky Bobby/Ron Burgundy is a hotshot race car driver/news anchor. Although he’s a complete doofus, he’s at the top of his game and surrounded by a band of merry men who worship him. But one day, a rival shows up in the form of some new blood, played by Sasha Barron Cohen/Christina Applegate. Ricky Bobby/Ron Burgundy is overcome with insecurity and becomes hysterical. Eventually, he loses everything and becomes a pathetic slacker. Only when he can swallow his pride and learn a life lesson about humility can Ricky Bobby/Ron Burgundy bounce back and be number one again. The end. (Oh, yeah. Ricky Bobby was funnier than Ron Burgundy.)

The Descent

Scary! Great, claustrophobic settings and tense, terrifying sequences. Meager efforts to inject character development and a forced rivalry between the good girl and the bad girl fall flat. But it’s the first time in a long time I’ve been viscerally, genuinely spooked in a movie.

Miami Vice

Technically cool, using video to its advantage. Little character development and zero chemistry between Ferrell and Fox. Is a good shoot-out worth the price of admission? Hm.

Click

It’s as though all Adam Sandler and his buddies wanted to make was a movie about dogs humping stuffed animals. And they said, “Hey, how can we get away with that?”
“Well, we’ll hang a sappy, sentimental story around it, so people will think they’re getting something emotional, but they’re really just getting dogs humping stuffed animals.”
“Well, what’s the rest of the story?”
“Aw, we’ll just rip off ‘It’s A Wonderful Life.’ That’s sappy, right?”
“Perfect! Okay, Spot… Start humping!”

Monster House

Generally, I enjoyed this. The animation was solid, the story held my interest, and I found it pretty scary. Also, and this may seem strange to say, but the Cinematography was great! Strange because, it’s not cinematography. It’s, well, simulated. It could’ve been a little shorter, maybe. But overall, peachy.

Lady in the Water

Ambiguity is a crutch some filmmakers use to justify complaints about clarity. How can you apply logic to a fairy tale? It’s supposed to be ridiculous. Even though structure and logic are different, if a movie lacks structure, or neglects it, it lacks it’s own internal logic. Such is the case with Lady in the Water. And despite the great performance from Paul Giamatti, if we don’t know who Cleveland Heep is or what he wants, we’re not going to connect with any of his choices. And the crutch comes in when complaints about this can be dismissed because a movie about water nymphs doesn’t need structure. But when the box-office results aren’t what they were for Signs or The Sixth Sense, M. Night Shyamalan can justify it by saying people didn’t “get” it, or people are too cynical and aren’t in touch with their inner-child, or whatever. But the reviews for Monster House were better, and the box-office was better. Movies need structure.

My Super Ex-Girlfriend

Not bad, but could have been funnier. Should have been funnier. Uma is great, but this movie reminds me how good she really was in Kill Bill. Luke Wilson floats through, and barely makes an impact. They had Anna Feris, too! And even SHE launches a few duds. I love the concept; but the execution was lame.

Pirates of the Carribean - Dead Man's Chest

Second Viewing.

Pirates of the Carribean - Dead Man's Chest

More laughs and more delight per square foot than any movie so far this summer. Confusing as hell at times, but covers well with the perfect calypso pace and first-rate performances from everybody. Not just the actors, but the crew, too. Outstanding.

The Devil Wears Prada

The only other movie I’ve ever seen with Anne Hathaway is Brokeback Mountain, in which I thought she was great. But I assume that the plot to this follows the same basic stories of her other “normal-girl-becomes-a-princess” movies, when she gets to be rich and pretty and then realizes it’s all for naught. A light trifle of a movie, but paced with aeronautical precision by director David Frankel. Yeah. And Meryl Streep's in it, too. She plays a mean, old woman.

Superman Returns

SPOILER ALERT!

Second viewing, and lots more opportunity to poke holes. First, I think the movie is ill-conceived from the get-go. Superman is a dead-beat, weekend dad? Not so super. Also, at the end, the kid is wearing Aquaman pajamas. This confuses me. In this kid’s world, is Aquaman a comic-book character or a real guy? If he’s real, he could’ve helped Superman with the whole island thing. Also, if Superman is so vulnerable to kryptonite, why doesn’t he just wear armor, so he doesn’t get shanked like he’s in a prison brawl? I mean, armor wouldn’t be cumbersome or anything, because, I mean, he’s Superman, right? I still liked Parker Posey, though.

A Scanner Darkly

Keanu Reeves is the perfect casting choice as a drug-addicted, undercover cop who is or isn’t being betrayed by a friend and/or co-worker. The story; the vague indictment of the pharmaceutical industry and the right to privacy keeps you interested enough that the animation disappears after a while, but remains hallucinogenic and effective. It’s nice to “see” Winona Ryder again. Also fun to see movies outdoors with beer. Thanks to the LA Film Festival.

Superman Returns

Okay. Superman is Jesus. That's clear. But does he have to be asexual? Must his asexuality be portrayed by sabotaging Lois Lane, who they make a dumpy dresser with bad hair? I mean, they had KATE BOSWORTH. Blue Crush! And they dress her like this? It’s technically outstanding and sublime in so many ways, but Superman Returns lacked a little bit of romance. If I wanted to see Clark Kent’s heart dragged around by some clueless woman, I’d watch Smallville. I need them together. I need them saving each other’s asses. I don’t want Cyclops coming between two people who want to be together AGAIN. Comic book logic breaks down a little, too, and Clark can hear Lois in peril sometimes, but not others. Lex Luthor’s plan is pretty dumb and that doesn’t help matters. Nevertheless, there are moments of this that are purely exhilarating and a joy to behold. I’m looking forward to the sequel, The Passion of the Superman. Or how about The Last Temptation…?

Hard 4

Goofy shot-on-video comedy about two slackers sucked into some sort of crimeworld after learning about the death of their gramps, a notorious gambler. Cameos from lots of 70's and 80's TV stars. Even with all the stunt casting, it seems unlikely this enigma will see the light of day. But "A" for effort.

Poseidon

Lots of people drown. If you like watching people drown, this movies for you. Me, I feel like I had my fill of people drowning round about the time “Fergie” from the Black Eyed Peas drowns. All the drownings beyond that were really just gratuitous. But we all have our own tolerance for how many times we can watch people drown. You, gentle blog reader, may have a much higher tolerance for drowning people than I do. If so, see this movie. If you feel like you have a low to average tolerance for watching people drown, then stay away. Because lots of people drown. Lots of ‘em. Only a handful of people don’t drown, out of, like, thousands. So, there you have it.

The Lake House

When dramatizing time-travel paradoxes, it’s important that the drama, or the meaning behind it all, presides over the paradoxes themselves. When the paradoxes become questionable, it doesn’t matter how many times Keanu and Sandy, kiss – it’s just not going to add up to very much. Keanu needed the problem-solving sounding board of Bill S. Preston, Esq. to talk him through some of the more difficult conundrums. Perhaps then she would have remembered who she saw from the train or who she watched get hit by the bus. And once they can outsmart the whole time-travel problem, á la Bill and Ted’s and finally get together, it would be a thing of beauty.

Nacho Libre

More strange than funny. But Jack Black's inflections, his commitment to his character, his sociopathic lack of shame for his protruding belly, and his bizarrely graceful wrestling leaps are reason enough to give this odd duck a try. Only a few loose ends get sorted out by the predictable conclusion, but one of them’s a laugh-out-loud humdinger.

Clerks 2

What’s weird is that Rosario Dawson is such a better actor than the guys who play Dante and Randall that she seems out of place. So when Dante and Randall do their scenes together, they seem okay. But when Dawson comes in, you realize how so-so those actors really are. Kevin Smith knows this world well, and he knows the music of his dialogue. The funny moments overshadow the awkward choices and, though frivolous, it’s still brave, raunchy and funny.

Taste the Blood of Dracula

Corny Christopher Lee vampire movie from 1970. Clever at using the same set-ups over and over again. Incongruously pleasant British actors are far too polite when vampires come knocking. Christopher Lee is in the movie a grand total of ten minutes.

Cars

Beautifully animated, but the script is a little thin. Pixar always prides itself on appealing to the adults as well as kids. There's no better example of this than the voice casting, and the indie cred vibe they bring to all their movies. In Cars, however, there's a concerted effort to appeal to a different demographic of adult; a less sophisticated one. So, without trying to sound snobby, (too late, right?) there's a slight tinge of pandering here, and it sucks a little magic out of the proceedings. Also, the moral/theme/parable aspect to the story, another point of pride for Pixar, feels a little foggy. It's not absolutely clear what Lighting McQueen learns by the end, except maybe to pay more attention to his guru. Despite all of this, the scenery and the reflection of neon on the hoods of the small town cars is joyous to behold. And, as usual, the end credits are the best part.

The Omen

The set-up is clunky, and the movie doesn't really get moving until Liev Shreiber gets his marching orders and works towards his ultimate goal. The kid isn't very scary, but Mia Farrow is supremely creepy in an underwritten part.

The Break Up

Tries to be a guy movie and a chick flick all in one. Worthy effort, but Aniston is way too serious. She didn't get any funny lines. She did FRIENDS for ten years, she can hold her own with Vaughn and Favreau. But instead, she cries a lot. And that's NOT her bare ass; it's a body double. They barely tried to disguise her. Lots of insight, though, about the disintegration of relationships. Only rarely strays from a truthful track. But not funny. Nope. No sireee. Pretty serious.

District B-13

REALLY goofy French action flick with the most preposterous plot you could imagine. Take all of the worst plot points from all of the 80’s action flicks and all the Jackie Chan movies and it’s a start. The hero has to break out of jail, break back into the “forbidden zone”, fight off a hundred guys, save his enslaved sister, and defuse the bomb. Nevertheless, it’s enjoyable to watch the lead French dude jump around from rooftops and balconies. The stunts were breathtaking. And SOOO unsafe! The “producer” in me nearly had a coronary.

The Proposition

Violent, moody Australian western. Structurally unusual because the guy who you think is the hero/protagonist gets taken out of the movie for a while, while another dude drives the plot. Nevertheless, the acting and production design are top-notch. Ultimately a downer, though, but succeeds as a morality tale.

X-MEN 3

More one-liners than the previous 2 movies, and less serious, which is a bad thing. But the Brian Singer movies established enough things that pay-off strongly here. The choices that Ratner makes on his own are a bit clunky. Why do all Magneto's followers, the "bad mutants," have to look like pierced bikers? Aw. I'm nitpicking. It was enjoyable. It just didn't... ROCK.

The DaVinci Code

Jesus! Was this dull. Granted, I didn't read the book. But Hank's character was really passive and just fled from the crooked cops, and it wasn't even clear why they wanted him. I love Audrey Tautou. (If you haven't seen DIRTY PRETTY THINGS, move it RIGHT to the top of the Netflix list.) But Ron Howard dulled her down so badly. This movie is a luke-warm paste. Spiderman 2 was more about Jesus than this movie. Don't get me wrong. I didn't hate it. Those of you who know how I feel about Ron Howard know that's a strong statement. It's just blah.

Ask the Dust

No amount of nudity could keep this movie from being boring. Performances from Salma Hayek and Colin Ferrel are top notch, and the California in the 30's production design was marvelous, but NOTHING HAPPENS. It's a good movie to behold, but tough to get into. So, good luck, video renters.

Stick It

Impressive attempt at fusing a sports movie with a teen drama with a music video. While the Busby Berkely montages are cute, they rob the movie of stakes. The lead, Missy Peregrym, has charisma flying out of her leotard-clad ass, which assures that, although it's forgettable, Stick It is never boring.

Art School Confidential

Had a lot of potential and started out funny, but became less funny as it unfolded. But it didn't become something else. It just became less funny.

Mission Impossible 3

It's almost too obvious to point out, but this is a LOT like an Alias episode. There's even a "Marshall"; a reluctant computer geek in the office ready to help the hero. It's a serviceable action thriller, and though he may be crazy, Tom Cruise has spunk. Keri Russell is memorable as an adrenalin-juiced rescuee with a horrible little bomb in her head. A scary moment in an otherwise fun but suspense-less spy soap opera.

Silent Hill

I have no idea what I just saw. It's impossible to discuss this movie without revealing the plot, which is impossible because the plot is impossible to figure out. Robin Wright clone and Woody Allen muse Radha Mitchell is game and committed as the mom searching for the missing daughter in the haunted town. Ah, if only it were that simple. Eventually she teams up with a hot, fetishy blond cop, Laurie Holden, and they find themselves shooting and running from all kinds of random CGI monsters, and a weird, sword-wielding giant with a trapezoid on his head. The plot descends into pure chaos when the women take refuge in a church, only to have the ghostly people inside accuse them of being witches. The daughter ends up being a demon or something; with a Canadian accent. Ultimately, it turns out the town might be Hell and the mom and the daughter might be dead. Who the hell knows.

Friends With Money

In spite of being a hot babe and tabloid darling, Jennifer Aniston is pretty good at playing these frumpy, mopey losers. I liked the supporting cast, too. But the resolution is lame and disappointing, so this movie didn't really resonate.

Hard Candy

Flawed, dragged-out, jail-bait cautionary tale. Really talky script, but in a bad way. Weak internal logic. Lacked "evidence." Committed actors, though. And almost a whole movie about two people in a house. Admirably cheap.

Scary Movie 4

I am a giant fan of Anna Feris. She's a fully committed ham, and she's game for almost anything. Just like Cloris Leachman. And when they're in a scene together? Stellar. Okay, so it's not Shakespeare. And I couldn't relay the plot right now if my life depended on it. But I laughed, because it's silly. As much as I admire Anna Feris, though, the funniest scenes to me were the scenes featuring Craig Bierko spoofing War of the Worlds and Tom Cruise on Oprah. So with Zucker and Abrams back, where are the funny end credits?

Brick

A very cool hybrid of gumshoe film noir and high school soap opera. Admirable in many ways. For one, the filmmakers had the conviction to stick with their gimmick from beginning to end. They play many scenes for laughs, knowing that it's a goof on noir. Despite this, the actors play it COMPLETELY straight, especially Joseph Gordon Levitt, who is great as the Phillip Marlowe/Bruce Willis "loose cannon." And, the movie looks like it was made for chump change and credit cards. Also admirable. Lengthy scenes are played in front of a boring backdrop of lockers or dumpsters. They trusted their dialogue! Thoroughly enjoyable.

Lucky Number Sleven

The resolution to this yarn made it worth it. Performances are all good, especially Lucy Liu as someone other than a cast-iron bitch. The ad campaign changed drastically for this; as though they didn't know what they had. Annoying production design. Lots of annoying wallpaper and sets. Distracted from the story.

Tsotsi

Supposedly South Africa's answer to City of God. But, the story is stock and the plot is predictable. Strong performances don't always guarantee a great movie. (See also Transamerica.)

Inside Man

It's as if somebody told Spike Lee, "You better go out and prove you can make a commercial movie." He even went so far as to insert a hypothetical, "What if?" shoot-out, because the movie didn't have one otherwise. Great acting all around, and a welcome "theme' at the end. 95% Thriller. 5% Essay on racism and ethnicity.

The Gang's All Here

Busby Berkeley's 1943 musical is filled with phallic symbols and hallucinogenic imagery. It's also really corny. I guess in 1943, all you had to do was encourage people to buy war bonds, and you could wear as much fruit on your head as you wanted.

Thank You for Smoking

Okay. Granted it was the book-on-tape, But I have been familiar with this book without having read it for ten years and I always thought it would make a great movie. Turns out, it's a very good movie. Aaron Eckhart is great in it, and it certainly accomplishes something great. It stays on it's politically incorrect, satirical tract to the end. I would have never believed the tense mood of politically correctness at a Hollywood film conservatory. It's reminiscent of the early nineties. In spite of this mood, almost everyone smokes. But when director Jason Reitman asked for a show of hands of who in the audience smoked, most people did NOT raise their hands. Telling.

A History of Violence

Twenty years ago, The Fly blew me away. Ask anybody. It's one of the movies that made me want to make movies. Twenty years later, and my second viewing of A History of Violence, it's nice to know that I can still have my bowels rocked by a movie. A History of Violence is less about violence and more about violent movies. I swear by this, despite the comments of the film's writer, Josh Olson, during Q&A tonight. He believes the film is about people's secret identities. What Cronenberg has slipped in though is a satire of a violent culture: movies. Cronenberg exploits the notion that movies glorify violence and has us secretly cheering, for example, when the son kicks the bully's ass at school or Viggo pushes a guy's nose into his brain. Then, while we're still soaking in the son's victory, Viggo berates the son for solving his problems with violence then smacks the kid across the mouth for good measure. This perfect storm of conflicted feelings is exactly what all the film school geeks aspire to achieve; but few ever will. It's Cronenberg's sophisticated understanding of these conflicted sentiments and the film grammar that can display them that makes him a guy who can smack me across the face any time he wants.

Slither

I was on board with this as soon as I saw the alien, which looked unmistakably like a disembodied vagina. Phallic symbols and bizarre reproductive zombies are good; but the wise-cracks most of the characters made in times of crisis really made it worth it. Kudos to Elizabeth Banks and Gregg Henry for diving right off the deep end into this; what "Troma" would be like with money.

V for Vendetta

Wants to be political, but loses it's point near the end. Most of this is a red herring. And the main character plays the whole thing in an inanimate mask. Natalie Portman brings her head-shaving ferocity, though, which makes this watchable.

The Miracle of Morgan's Creek

Preston Sturges' 1944 comedy, I think, must have forced critics to coin the term "wacky." Thoroughly funny and ridiculous, and was so obviously an influence on the Coens, there are names and events lifted from this movie.

Transamerica

Them fancy talkin' professors at grad school are always saying that having a great character in your movie will cover for a multitude of sins. Felicity Huffman's "Bree" is case in point. Transamerica is engaging from beginning to end, despite the fact that it looks like it was made for about five bucks. Huffman embodies her role to it's core and makes it possible to overlook numerous plot holes, logic points, and weak episodes. Her commitment is really admirable. Perhaps here is at least one instance when a nude scene, or several nude scenes, prove that the filmmakers and actors have true conviction about their subject; the nature of sexual identity. High marks to Fionnula Flanagan as the world's scariest mom. During q&a after the movie, the director said she was the most realistic character in the movie, as she was based on a real person: his mom. In spite of this monsoon of praise, though, it's not a movie that will leave a very big mark on the world. It's truly just a so-so movie with a few great characters in it.

Final Destination 3

I liked the original Final Destination. Death itself is a serial killer; out to get the unfortunate teens who cheated it. Gone is the paranoia and unpredictability of the first. It's all about anticipation and dread now. Establish the arrogant teens. Establish the nail gun. Wait for it. Wait for it. SHICK! Right through the skull. Coverage of the Rube Goldberg deaths is shoddy, too. Too many cuts and blurry swish-pans make it impossible to track which dead teenager was just minced by the rollercoaster. Weak character development and lack of suspense make it just a montage of bloody accidents. Kudos though, to the bratty plastic bimbos, who relish in their superficial, queen bee, teen-speak then shed their tops for a good long time while we watch them dry-roast their boobies in the tanning beds. Let that be a lesson to you all.

Firewall

One of those movies in which all the main character has to do is dial 911 and the entire, flawed plot of the villain would collapse. Mood and pacing are excellent, but barely make up for the huge lapses in logic and neglect for common sense. At times, hilarious, it was so cliched. Harrison Ford even has a catch phrase. "I'm going to get my dog!" Laugh-out-loud funny. One bright spot is the comic relief delivered by sit-com wallflower Mary-Lynn Rajskub as Ford's secretary. The shot of her holding the rescued dog at the end was worth the price of admission. Otherwise, this movie will be remembered as another step in the decline of Harrison Ford's career.

Underworld:Evolution

A movie of lengthy prologues, multiple flashbacks, and riddled with expository explanations of an elaborate back-story involving an endless war between vampires and werewolves. Admittedly, Beckensale’s posterior looks pretty awesome in that shiny, black leather costume, this movie made almost no sense to me. (…and I have no memory of the first one, which I know I saw.) Beckensale, who could’ve gotten an Oscar nom last year for The Aviator if Blanchette hadn’t gotten it, commits fully to the fetish leather and fake karate. There’s also a couple of old British dudes, who, if I’m not mistaken, are Shakespearian trained, and who wallow in their Goth-horror-villain dialogue with aplomb. The secret to these vampire movies: don’t load me down with a bunch of plot. Just suck.

The Matador

Funny. But it won't resonate. Brosnan's lines were dirty and snappy. He plays a great foil for Kinnear's nerd. Hope Davis does a lot with a throw away "wife" role, but some of this reminded me of The Tailor of Panama. Shot completely in Mexico, but takes place partially in Denver. Weird.

The New World

I really got into this. Deeply meditative and contemplative. The cast was great, including Q'Orianka Kilcher; her first movie. Malick uses the same shot of the same sunset numerous times. He does this because he can, because he owns his style.

Yes. I saw this as a double feature with The Ringer. So what?

The Ringer

Johnny Knoxville should have honed his retarded character. Few laughs. Not politically incorrect enough. Only really funny when Knoxville flips out.