Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

It’s difficult to say EXACTLY what Gore Verbinsky brings to the table, until he’s NOT at the table anymore. It’s only then that you realize: there’s a big piece that’s missing. All of the ingredients are there on the screen, but there’s something about the way the camera moves at the wrong time, the way the music crescendos a little too much, and the way that Johnny Depp’s combination of skill and drunken befuddlement feels out of synch that makes me miss Gore. Granted, I didn’t really the like the CURE FOR WELLNESS eel movie much, either, so maybe it’s just me? Is it terrible? Not really. It's just so... un-weird.

Alien: Covenant

You can almost feel Sir Ridley saying to the audience, “See! I can direct an action scene just a well as James Cameron! See?? And Prometheus did make sense! See! I told you!” Despite the slight smell of pandering in this, I’ll admit, I fully enjoyed it. It was icky and goopy and tense and creepy and cool. And it doesn't feel like a whole movie as much as it just feels like a chapter. A good chapter. So, there’s not a whole lot to take away from this, it won’t really resonate culturally, but it’s a fun night at the movies.

How to be a Latin Lover

Rarely is the commercial purpose of a movie so clearly cynical. The purpose of this movie is to introduce Eugenio Derbez to American audiences. Period. That being said, there are funny moments in this, especially from the top-notch supporting cast. The truly funny moments, spilling into the “off beat” and “weird” category, are directed with a light, silly touch by comedian Ken Marino. Unfortunately, the heavy-handed sentimental stuff, meant for kids and families, I suppose, bogs this down.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2

I don’t know how much plot and story I NEED in a movie like this, but the story goes down like a custard that’s been whipped way too much. It’s pleasant for a minute, but it doesn’t satisfy. All the visual showmanship, music, and smart-alecky camaraderie feels like it’s blasted out of a cannon, and the entire experience is a fun night at the movies. But on the drive home, after you’ve stepped back for a second, you might find yourself saying, “Wait… what??”