A Scanner Darkly

Keanu Reeves is the perfect casting choice as a drug-addicted, undercover cop who is or isn’t being betrayed by a friend and/or co-worker. The story; the vague indictment of the pharmaceutical industry and the right to privacy keeps you interested enough that the animation disappears after a while, but remains hallucinogenic and effective. It’s nice to “see” Winona Ryder again. Also fun to see movies outdoors with beer. Thanks to the LA Film Festival.

Superman Returns

Okay. Superman is Jesus. That's clear. But does he have to be asexual? Must his asexuality be portrayed by sabotaging Lois Lane, who they make a dumpy dresser with bad hair? I mean, they had KATE BOSWORTH. Blue Crush! And they dress her like this? It’s technically outstanding and sublime in so many ways, but Superman Returns lacked a little bit of romance. If I wanted to see Clark Kent’s heart dragged around by some clueless woman, I’d watch Smallville. I need them together. I need them saving each other’s asses. I don’t want Cyclops coming between two people who want to be together AGAIN. Comic book logic breaks down a little, too, and Clark can hear Lois in peril sometimes, but not others. Lex Luthor’s plan is pretty dumb and that doesn’t help matters. Nevertheless, there are moments of this that are purely exhilarating and a joy to behold. I’m looking forward to the sequel, The Passion of the Superman. Or how about The Last Temptation…?

Hard 4

Goofy shot-on-video comedy about two slackers sucked into some sort of crimeworld after learning about the death of their gramps, a notorious gambler. Cameos from lots of 70's and 80's TV stars. Even with all the stunt casting, it seems unlikely this enigma will see the light of day. But "A" for effort.

Poseidon

Lots of people drown. If you like watching people drown, this movies for you. Me, I feel like I had my fill of people drowning round about the time “Fergie” from the Black Eyed Peas drowns. All the drownings beyond that were really just gratuitous. But we all have our own tolerance for how many times we can watch people drown. You, gentle blog reader, may have a much higher tolerance for drowning people than I do. If so, see this movie. If you feel like you have a low to average tolerance for watching people drown, then stay away. Because lots of people drown. Lots of ‘em. Only a handful of people don’t drown, out of, like, thousands. So, there you have it.

The Lake House

When dramatizing time-travel paradoxes, it’s important that the drama, or the meaning behind it all, presides over the paradoxes themselves. When the paradoxes become questionable, it doesn’t matter how many times Keanu and Sandy, kiss – it’s just not going to add up to very much. Keanu needed the problem-solving sounding board of Bill S. Preston, Esq. to talk him through some of the more difficult conundrums. Perhaps then she would have remembered who she saw from the train or who she watched get hit by the bus. And once they can outsmart the whole time-travel problem, á la Bill and Ted’s and finally get together, it would be a thing of beauty.

Nacho Libre

More strange than funny. But Jack Black's inflections, his commitment to his character, his sociopathic lack of shame for his protruding belly, and his bizarrely graceful wrestling leaps are reason enough to give this odd duck a try. Only a few loose ends get sorted out by the predictable conclusion, but one of them’s a laugh-out-loud humdinger.

Clerks 2

What’s weird is that Rosario Dawson is such a better actor than the guys who play Dante and Randall that she seems out of place. So when Dante and Randall do their scenes together, they seem okay. But when Dawson comes in, you realize how so-so those actors really are. Kevin Smith knows this world well, and he knows the music of his dialogue. The funny moments overshadow the awkward choices and, though frivolous, it’s still brave, raunchy and funny.

Taste the Blood of Dracula

Corny Christopher Lee vampire movie from 1970. Clever at using the same set-ups over and over again. Incongruously pleasant British actors are far too polite when vampires come knocking. Christopher Lee is in the movie a grand total of ten minutes.

Cars

Beautifully animated, but the script is a little thin. Pixar always prides itself on appealing to the adults as well as kids. There's no better example of this than the voice casting, and the indie cred vibe they bring to all their movies. In Cars, however, there's a concerted effort to appeal to a different demographic of adult; a less sophisticated one. So, without trying to sound snobby, (too late, right?) there's a slight tinge of pandering here, and it sucks a little magic out of the proceedings. Also, the moral/theme/parable aspect to the story, another point of pride for Pixar, feels a little foggy. It's not absolutely clear what Lighting McQueen learns by the end, except maybe to pay more attention to his guru. Despite all of this, the scenery and the reflection of neon on the hoods of the small town cars is joyous to behold. And, as usual, the end credits are the best part.

The Omen

The set-up is clunky, and the movie doesn't really get moving until Liev Shreiber gets his marching orders and works towards his ultimate goal. The kid isn't very scary, but Mia Farrow is supremely creepy in an underwritten part.

The Break Up

Tries to be a guy movie and a chick flick all in one. Worthy effort, but Aniston is way too serious. She didn't get any funny lines. She did FRIENDS for ten years, she can hold her own with Vaughn and Favreau. But instead, she cries a lot. And that's NOT her bare ass; it's a body double. They barely tried to disguise her. Lots of insight, though, about the disintegration of relationships. Only rarely strays from a truthful track. But not funny. Nope. No sireee. Pretty serious.

District B-13

REALLY goofy French action flick with the most preposterous plot you could imagine. Take all of the worst plot points from all of the 80’s action flicks and all the Jackie Chan movies and it’s a start. The hero has to break out of jail, break back into the “forbidden zone”, fight off a hundred guys, save his enslaved sister, and defuse the bomb. Nevertheless, it’s enjoyable to watch the lead French dude jump around from rooftops and balconies. The stunts were breathtaking. And SOOO unsafe! The “producer” in me nearly had a coronary.