Zach and Miri Make a Porno

What if Bowfinger was a porno? Kevin Smith is really a romantic at heart and this silly, simple movie hit all the right romantic notes. It’s firmly rooted in that fantasyland where a doofus like Seth Rogen actually has a chance with Elizabeth Banks. There is no AIDS. And the ensemble of supporting misfits, a necessity of the genre, aren’t sleazy porn people, but lovable and sincere. The only thing slightly realistic is the language. Let’s be honest, this is really the way people talk. Anybody who pretends to be offended is a liar. But Smith and company really try for a theme: respect the reasons why someone loves you and honor them. If someone loves you for your good qualities, don’t forego those qualities just to prove to someone you don’t love them. There’s no reason to live up to impossible expectations, just embrace the good qualities of yourself; the things that make people love you. Smith is cozy in this milieu and tells his best stories here. And I firmly believe that the most romantic movies these days aren’t the Richard Gere/Diane Lane kissing on the beach movies, but the frank, hard “R” sex comedies. Forgetting Sara Marshal, Choke, and this. This is where the bravest and truest things are being said about love.

Pride and Glory

Plenty of… ACTING! But the script and story are completely stilted because of horribly expositional dialogue.
“Hey, Ed Norton! How’s your sister?"
"Who? The one who was in the horrible car accident last year? The one who lost her hand then divorced her husband? The one who resents me for my success? Oh, she’s fine.”
Lots of cop jargon and police-drama clichés make this a big, smelly disappointment.

W.

Josh Brolin is great as the child who’s in over his head. All the performances are strong from Jeffrey Wright’s subtle Colin Powell to Thandie Newton’s hilariously cartoonish Condoleeza Rice. The problem is, how do you end this movie? There’s no result. It’s a lot like the Bush presidency. How many times is he going to screw up before it ends? The movie doesn’t feel like it’s building toward anything dramatically. Also, it skips over major misdeeds in the Bush presidency, which is unfortunate but necessary. There are only so many hours. Nevertheless, it’s satisfying to see Oliver Stone and a cast of great actors turn the screws a bit. But it barely eases the sting from eight years of havoc.

Quarantine

…contributes few original ideas to the zombie lexicon, but it’s directed and acted as voraciously as the best of the bunch. I nearly peed myself. Much of its success is due to the first-rate performance of Jennifer Carpenter. Her hysteria was so authentic, it made up for weak third act during which the few survivors lack a plan and just kind of flail around. The Blair Witch/Cloverfield P.O.V. camera was less annoying than its predecessors, mainly because the camera operator was meant to be a news videographer with a keen eye. Long, kinetic takes create great suspense and allow for real scares. Not the false, “it’s-only-the-cat” fake-outs typical in the genre, but truly tense scenes. So, it’s not Shakespeare. But it’s well-made and worth seeing.

RocknRolla

Fun, but not laugh-out-loud funny. It seems like every cast member has an English accent from a different region of Britain. Not that Guy Ritchie was trying to showcase diversity or anything. He’s more determined than ever to spin a bona-fide crime-fiction yarn. The plot is the most cohesive of any of his movies, even though it’s primarily focused on one objet d'art which, though unseen, serves its purpose as a ridiculously valuable McGuffin. The cast is strong and the pace is brisk. But the hi jinx of previous Ritchie movies has been dialed-back significantly here. That could either be a good thing or a bad thing.

Religulous

Bill Maher is better when he asks a lot of tough questions without condescending to his subjects. When he starts to debate, he comes off as a dick, although many of his ”dick” moments are admittedly funny. Maher leaves many of the world’s religions completely out of the mix as he focuses on the fundamentalists -- those who use their religions to manipulate, deceive or to justify war. It’s scary how many “Christians” believe the end of days will come in our lifetime, and they are they only ones who will be saved. It’s also scary to hear some of the Islamic scholars deny that there is anyone using their beliefs as an excuse to eradicate the Jews. As I’ve always said: denial ain’t just a river in England. It’s a movie that needed to be made, but he should have kept it funny. It gets a little “preachy” at the end, which is kind of pointless, since anybody who buys a ticket is already converted.

The Matrix

Few movies in history have managed to encapsulate the high and low art of comic books so thoroughly as The Matrix. It’s an almost perfect hybrid of kung fu and sci-fi, gun-fetishism and spirituality, carnality and philosophy. Granted, it’s philosophy 101. But still, very few movies so determined to entertain also dare to be genuinely profound. It’s fun to have your mind blown, as I did again when Neo realizes: when he is loved in his real world, he can do anything in his dream world -- even stop bullets and, at last, as the chorus sings, see the matrix.