Robocop

“Hey! I know! Let's remake Robocop, but WITHOUT all that pesky satire!”

Thud.

Bad Words

Watching Jason Bateman, as surly and deadpan as ever, take down innocent kids at spelling bees is darkly, sadistically funny. His accidental bonding with a sheltered, but emotionally neglected child competitor (Rohan Chand, perfect as the Indian nerd) ups the emotional ante while still mining plenty of laughs. As funny as it is to watch Bateman destroy these gullible kids, one wonders, even at the beginning: What is his endgame? That’s the weak point of the script when it’s finally revealed. So the ending feels a little rushed, and the wicked tone is lost, temporarily. But Kudos to Bateman for sticking to his ridiculous premise and shining a spotlight on a really funny kid. 

Tim's Vermeer

It’s a natural progression for Penn and Teller to jump from the short documentary format of “Bullshit” into feature length docs. Directed by Teller and Produced and narrated by Penn, they take an in-depth and fascinating look at a seemingly ordinary dude, Tim Jenison, who wants to paint a painting like the Dutch Master, Vermeer. Tim thinks he may have decoded a special method of painting, one which Vermeer may have used, that would result in the most photorealistic art of the era. The time and dedication Tim takes to work on his hobby/painting is both inspired and tedious. How did the Dutch masters do it? But the point is, Tim, who often refers to himself as neither “an artist nor a painter” is in fact, both of those things. So are we what we create? Or are we what compels us? A fascinating doc that asks a lot of worthwhile questions about art and artists.

The Lego Movie

I have never tried cocaine, but if I DID do cocaine, I feel like watching this movie is what it would feel like to be on cocaine. There is so much color, movement, and manic energy it’s startling and almost overwhelming to behold. In spite of all of this frenetic jibber-jabber, the main themes remain pretty well in tact: There’s nothing wrong with following the instructions, and in truth that helps maintain perfectly formed society. But if it’s your calling to, ”Color outside the lines” and stray from the instructions, then you must do that if only to help society become a better and more innovative place. I’m not sure that the filmmakers were THAT worried about the themes though. It’s funny, the voice-acting is perfect, and there’s a few nice plot surprises. But whatever this movie is, it’s also very much an advertisement for Legos. I know this because, in spite of myself, when the movie was over I really wanted to play with Legos. So this is an admirable kids movie even though it’s a bit like crack. It’s not the stuff that dreams are made of, but it’s a hoot.

The Monuments Men

On paper this looks like a great movie. Great cast, great true story. Home run for all involved. But the script is dull! After some boring narration about the importance of protecting art, the first half of the movie is not about that. It’s all about war being “hell”, which is a perfectly valid theme for any movie OTHER than this one. The theme of this movie is supposed to be “save the art.” So, finally, in the second half, the monuments men start to save the art. Some of the scenes are fun. They seem clipped out of an episode of Hogan’s Heroes, i.e. a bunch of tough guys standing around a map, planning and scheming, guessing where the Nazis would strike next. Good stuff. But that nagging question of, “What the fuck was going on in the first half of this movie?” never really goes away. So the script by Clooney and Heslov is sloppy and clunky which is too bad because this could have been really good.