Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

By far the most remarkable aspect of this is how UN-remarkable the heroes are, at least at first. They’re not rich, they’re not radioactive, they’re not gods. The story is centered around two people who are… average Schmoes working as valet parkers. Problems at home, money issues, getting motivated issues. Ordinary people stuff. Simu Liu and Awkwafina (aka Nora Lum) nail this… “average-ness” and their surprise at the supernatural superhero shit that unfolds seems pretty genuine. Although the plot and story are meant to be a Marvel superhero origin story, the conventions are more in tune with Kung Fu movies and the traditions and tropes therein. Think: dragons. It’s fun and action-packed; light on emotion but big in vision.

No Time to Die

** SPOILER ALERT!! **

After a lengthy prologue that doesn’t involve James Bond, you start to realize that maybe this movie isn’t really about James Bond. He loses his job, he loses his 00 status, he loses his best friend, and he ends up being a lonely fisherman while the world continues on around him. Moments of this, like a sequence in Cuba with Ana deArmas, are exhilarating, vintage Bond kickassery. But by the middle, it’s a grounded, non-fantastic family drama that could easily be described as a big-budget Lifetime movie – a deadbeat dad trying to make good. The filmmakers do not pander and are not determined to entertain, at least not in a fun, “popcorn” way. It pains me to say this, but this is not that enjoyable of a movie. Sure, it’s action-packed and well-filmed, but it tries to cram in 60 years worth of womanizing Bond redemption into its final act, and it’s forced and clumsy. More martinis, please. Shaken... etc.

Army of the Dead

Not to nitpick, but the zombies in Army of the Dead aren’t really zombies in the traditional sense. They’re Resident Evil zombies if you had to give them a label. They're poisoned. They’re fast. They’re organized. But they also feel love? Zombies are never supposed to be the villain. Zombies can be the problem, but zombie parables are supposed to be about how humans treat each other during the zombie apocalypse. There’s a little of that here. But there’s WAY, WAY too much of the inner-life of the zombies. The love-lives and families and politics of zombies. It’s all pretty boring. But this I’ve always said: Zach Snyder loves movies. The guy can make the hell out of an opening credit sequence. He loves fire, heroes leaping through the air, and crashing vehicles. He basks in the warm satisfaction of an adrenaline-fueled action sequence. He doesn’t care if his movies are way too long, or if they make sense. He has an admirable devotion to mayhem. He just needs to respect our time a little more, and wrap things up. We have shit to do; daily tasks to try and prevent the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

The Mummy

Weird, weird, weird. Clearly made by committee. Clearly meant to be a “launch” of a now defunct franchise. Cruise is so clearly a hired gun. And it just all feels like an expensive rehash. That being said, sequences are exciting. Lives are at stake. Monsters monster. And as tough as it is to be the damsel opposite Cruise and his couch-jumping energy, Annabelle Wallis manages to keep up without humiliating herself, which deserves kudos. It could have been good. They had everything they needed.