Death of a Unicorn

This intends to be a horror-comedy (the trailer played pretty funny), but it’s executed like a straight-forward horror creature-feature. It also intends to stick-it to the rich, but the need for a body count means that some misguided scientists and employees also get horned. What remains is a horror movie that’s not very scary and a comedy that’s not very funny. The premise is the strongest part of this. Themes involving pillaging the natural world to monetize important medical cures make for satisfying impalings. The cast, especially Rudd and Ortega, are up to the task. But it won’t resonate. There’s a magical Sam Raimi-ish, Bruce Campbell-ish ingredient that’s lacking.

Inside Out 2

The teenager trying to fit in and befriend the cool kids, while shunning her old, nerdy friends is a typical movie problem. We’ve seen it 10 million times in every third film throughout film history. But Pixar knows how to make shit poignant, and they do a graceful, bang-up job here. While not as surprising as the first movie, this natural sequel is executed masterfully.

Black Bag

This is one of those movies where you have to pay really close attention in the first 10 minutes or you’ll be lost the whole time. Unfortunately, I saw this at the Alamo Drafthouse and there was all kinds of commotion and drink orders and stuff, so I was a little behind. Long, dimly-lit dinner scenes dominate the plot. Soderbergh and company expertly tell this bickery, low-action spy story well, but it’s not much of an adrenalin rush. Secrets are overheard, lies are told, and doubts are expressed. The stakes are high because the secret spy software could cause a nuclear meltdown, but that’s all offscreen. The real onscreen weapon is Cate Blanchett’s cheekbones, which seem especially pointy and chiseled here, which either means she had too much of something injected, or it was purposely done by the filmmakers to make us suspect she’s the villain. Either way, the moral of the story is solid: if you’re married, stick together and you may fall into a small bit of unaccounted-for spy money.

The Monkey

In the lexicon of Stephen King movies, there’s pre-Misery and post-Misery (with exceptions). This feels like a pre-Misery, non-Kubrickian adaptation, chock-full of overacting, goofy supporting characters, and playful violence. You don’t really have a lot to think about on the drive home, here. Death is coming and you can’t stop it. Also, toy monkeys are creepy. 

The Wild Robot

“Number 5 is alive!” There’s oodles of cute animals and heart-warming themes in this solid and lovingly-derivative animation. Environmental and parental motifs abound. It’s inspirational to see filmmakers successfully attempt to float a positive message out to humanity in these downtrodden times. 

Captain America: Brave New World

I wanted to like this, and watching it was a perfectly enjoyable experience. Anthony Mackie has the authentic bravado and lots of things go “swoosh” and “crash.” But it does feel like an afterthought. The Marvel universe painted itself into a corner. Where do you go after the Deadpool-Spiderman-time-travel-multiverse? So we’re back to political intrigue, which is fine. But it’s not rock-concert exciting.

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

I’m not wildly enthusiastic about these Venom movies. They just pass the time on a plane. But for better or for worse, you have to hand it to Tom Hardy. He’s often in scenes by himself, playing off himself in the form of this primal alter-ego, and his technique and commitment is respectable.

Anora

An extremely well-directed indie gem with great performances. But! The editor could’ve taken one more pass. Not necessarily to reduce the running time, but to shift focus away from the mouthy gangsters, and back on to Ani, the hero. Her performance is so volatile and complicated. It’s a historically brave and vulnerable turn from Mikey Madison. The audience often realizes things at the same time that she does, and her reactions are utterly human and heartbreaking. Yet another movie that came out in 2024 that concludes with a woman collapsing and crying in a pitiful heap. I’ve asked in this space before: Hey, women! Are you okay?

The Substance

Where did this script come from? How did this movie get made? How the HELL did this grotesque fever-dream get a Best Picture nomination? Everyone involved seems to be fully committed and in-on-the-gag. And it’s just about the riskiest big-swing you could make in Hollywood. You can’t help but admire the huge gamble this is by Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley, et al. Ultimately, the parable of the beauty myth devolves into full-blown early Peter Jackson/David Cronenberg, Grand Guignol perversion and the point starts to get lost. In the final third, when it really becomes ridiculous and we’ve learned all we can, we start to wish they would just wrap things up. It gets silly and gross. But man, oh man, did they light a fuse and say something to the world. “A” for effort. Well-played, guys.

A Real Pain

The difference between someone neurotic & slightly anxious and someone deeply manic & bi-polar is on full display in this well-written, complicated road-trip, buddy dramedy. The resolution is foggy. The trip ends. But Kieran Culkin’s emotional basket-case hasn’t found any peace, and that’s a bummer. Should movies resolve? Or is it okay for them to just stop? Don’t ask me. I just work here.

The Gorge

STUDIO EXECUTIVE: We need a new movie about a sniper. 

STUDIO BOSS: Meh. It’s been done. 

STUDIO EXECUTIVE: How about a sniper who falls in love? 

STUDIO BOSS: Kinda stale. 

STUDIO EXECUTIVE: …with another sniper! 

STUDIO BOSS: (yawning) And... 

STUDIO EXECUTIVE: But wait: there’s more! They’re on the opposite sides of... (thinking quickly of a metaphor) a deep gorge. 

STUDIO BOSS: To do what? 

STUDIO EXECUTIVE: Snipe! 

STUDIO BOSS: Snipe what? 

STUDIO EXECUTIVE: Uh… zombies, of course! 

STUDIO BOSS: At some point they're going to FALL INTO the gorge full of zombies, right?

STUDIO EXECUTIVE: You can bet your sweet bippy!

STUDIO BOSS: And there will be zombies riding zombie horses, right?

STUDIO EXECUTIVE: Uh... Of course. Sure. Why not? It’s all a metaphor for societies' growing divisions and… 

STUDIO BOSS: Yeah, yeah, yeah... How pretty are the actors? 

STUDIO EXECUTIVE: The prettiest. 

STUDIO BOSS: Sold.

Becoming Led Zeppelin

Why should a rockumentary follow the rags-to-riches, sex and drugs formula? Led Zeppelin’s new contribution is significant for all the debaucherous details it leaves out. The drugs and the groupies and the heroine are absent. To fill the space there are long takes of live recordings; fantastic renditions from their first record. Band-member, talking-head interviews go into detail about the recording and engineering techniques, as well as shrewd business dealings giving them all the power. The IMAX of it all emphasizes the sound mix, not so much the picture, and the movie sounds great. Insight about the band members isn’t deep, but it isn’t intended to be. It’s about the rock and roll musical process, inventing heavy metal, and it’s a rich listen.

The Brutalist

 In my imagination, the schematic of how this movie was made starts with the filmmakers wondering why "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay" hadn’t been adapted into a movie yet. And when they learn the rights are all tied up and it’s in development hell, they make an end run – lifting many of the themes and concepts, but making it about an architect instead of a comic book artist. I’m surprised more critics and culture nerds haven’t pointed out the similarities, because there are many. There are also similarities (not in a bad way) to the various sagas about tycoons and money. There Will Be Blood. The Wolf of Wall Street. Citizen Kane. The Getty movies. The list goes on, and the thesis being demonstrated is billionaires are creeps. The serious approach to the subject allows for heavy acting and situations, and not much room for levity. All the technical aspects are strong and the acting by the leads is exceptional. But upon walking out of the theater, instead of feeling satisfied by this beautiful epic, I felt a little icky and empty. Like the architecture too, I suppose. The negative is as important as the positive space. It’s all very skillful and deliberate, which means there’s a LOT to admire. Even the credits are interesting. But you won’t be humming a happy little tune as you leave the theater. It ain’t Barbie.