Children of Men

Still so, so impressive. Taut direction, a break-neck pace, and astute performances. The medical issues and the “fugee” camps keep this eerily relevant. What makes this different from current events is: there’s actually hope for humanity at the end of the film. In reality, there isn’t much.

Velvet Underground

Watched this 2021 doc about the seminal band by Todd Haynes. Like the band and the other mopers in Andy Warhols’s factory, this has a dull drone to it, like it’s testing the audience to stay alert -- akin to some of Warhol’s long, off-the-wall film experiments. It’s a heroine-induced slog. I would have appreciated a more Ken Burns take with real information and insight.

F1

F1 SPORTSCASTER: "Even though he's in last place in this race, we're going to be talking about washed-up, old racer Sonny Hayes the entire time because he's the subject of this movie and he's being played by Brad Pitt! Vroom! Blimey! Look at him go!"

Formula One racing seems to be having a moment. Hollywood-izing this very European sport makes perfect sense, and Jerry Bruckheimer is the prophet of choice to send this message – things go VROOM. Writers and filmmakers inject some of the data strategy and timing involved with this team sport, which is interesting if not totally vroomy. Types of tires, lengths of pitstops, and aerodynamics are all dramatized with Bruckheimerian energy. Lots of accented, European engineers fuss about “combat”, “victory”, and different colored flags. Brad Pitt stews a lot, and occasionally grimaces. And the theater we saw this in had vibrating seats. All told it’s a good popcorn movie and you get your money’s worth, even if it is just propaganda.

Carry-On

I’ll write this review with the same tool I believe the screenplay was written: with ChatGPT.com.  

PROMPT: Write a snarky, sarcastic, 5 sentence movie review of the 2024 movie "Carry-On" starring Taron Egerton and Jason Bateman. 

 “Carry-On” is the movie equivalent of getting stuck in airport security behind someone with 14 loose change trays and a mysterious metal hip. Taron Egerton gives it his best shot, bless him, trying to act like this isn’t just Die Hard in Terminal C. Jason Bateman looks like he wandered in from a darker, more interesting movie—and decided to stay just to punish us. The plot tries to build suspense but ends up feeling like a TSA instructional video with more blood and worse lighting. By the end, you’re not rooting for anyone—you’re just praying your flight boards early.

The Life of Chuck

A surprisingly poignant essay about life and death adapted from a Stephen King short story. This is more about chapters and segments. It relies less on a driving plot or suspense, and more on exploring the themes. Very well acted throughout in a sub-genre I would describe as “What the fuck is going on?” We find out in due time, and it’s a sad, but thoughtful explanation. Describing it in more detail runs the risk of this coming off as corny, but filmmakers approach the story with such unalloyed sincerity that, well, you just have to see it. Or live it.

Predator: Killer of Killers

Interesting and watchable anime from the "Predator" universe, expanding the world of the “Yautja” (predator species) and their brutal rituals. The capable humans hunted for sport seem to get abducted anyway, unlike the Schwarzeneggers of yore, which feels like a retcon (“retroactive continuity”) intended build-out the universe. That’s fine. Milk it for all it’s worth, movie studio. But just don’t fuck with Prey too much. It’s kinda special.

Ballerina

At the outset, John Wick was different. Because instead of the old chestnut, “You killed my father…” the bad guys killed his puppy and stole his car. It paints pain and revenge in a different light. Here, we’re back with the “You killed my father…” trope, so the story and plot just isn’t that surprising. Nevertheless, writers and filmmakers include a couple of creative sequences when weapons and settings are used in unique ways, and that makes for a fun, light-hearted night at the movies – but lacking the John Wick gravitas.