The Fantastic Four: First Steps

“I will spare your world in exchange for the child.”  -- Isaiah 44:44 

MOB OF AMERICAN JERKS: “What did the God Galactus want?” 

SUE STORM: “He wanted to take our baby.” 

MOB OF AMERICAN JERKS: “Okay, great. Problem solved.” 

SUE STORM: “We told him ‘no’.” 

MOB OF AMERICAN JERKS: “WHAT?? Why? Why’d you tell him THAT? Why are you so selfish?? You should have given up your baby to save us atheistic jerks.” 

There’s not much subtlety to the underlying message here. Americans are jerks that want you to kill your baby. Families and pregnancies are what matter. And your baby is special and magical. For the most part, it’s a warm-bath of nostalgic comfort (except for the whole biblical, God taking yer baby, pro-life business). Things stretch. Things go “fwoosh.” Thing feels it's time to clobber. The sets are neat. Too bad they don’t serve macaroni and cheese or tater-tots at the theater. That would be perfect.

Sinners

"I want your music and I want your stories," says the white vampire, the blood-sucker, offering wealth and eternal life in exchange for the blues. But the Vampire/Irishman was an immigrant too, once, with his own music which also comes from somewhere else - most likely church. There’s analogy on top of allegory on top of parable here, and I’m afraid I’m not enlightened enough to figure it all out. But this mash-up of the cotton fields post-slavery, the immigrant experience, the juke joint jazz, and vampire lore makes for an entertaining and thought-provoking jazz stew. The vampire lore, especially the bit about requiring to be “invited in”, factors heavily in the plot. Filmmakers rely on the conventions of the genre to their great advantage, informing this allegory about cultural appropriation. Despite some weird, pseudo-Lynchian surrealism in the middle, which took me out of the story for a minute, this is an incisive banger, biting off more than it can chew, and trying always to slay.

Galaxy Quest

I’ve seen this nutty comedy plenty of times. Upon this re-watch, I re-appreciated Justin Long. His spot-on delivery of the awkward, teenage superfan is one of the many things that makes this a classic.

Superman

Americans are kinda dicks. Superman does all this work to try to save everybody and they all just stand around and throw shit at him. There’s no gravitas here. There’s no opera. He’s just an ordinary schlub busting his ass all the time, while he tries to take care of his dumb cousin’s pain-in-the-ass dog. He might as well be Ralph Kramden. Is the message deeper? Are filmmakers trying to compare Supes to the immigrant population? The janitors and farm-workers? Doing the stuff nobody else wants to do? Is it just a coincidence that Ma and Pa Kent are farmers? The righties sure are pissed off about something, supposedly. They probably want less Superman and more Homelander. But Homelander could never land a spark-plug like Lois Lane, so Superman must be doing something right.

Jurassic World Rebirth

This is a perfectly adequate summer popcorn movie. To think about it too much will cause the sweater to unravel. The plot is predictable. Some dumb family wanders into trouble. Some great white hunters save the day. Some greedy corporate types get chomped. Some homage to Michael Crichton is paid. Some questions are answered, others are not. Toy and ride potential is unmistakable. It’s an exercise in box-checking.

Mean Girls

Watching this on “movie night” with a group of friends is fun. It’s a pivotal teen comedy from a very specific time, where the wisecrackerey occasionally overshadows Tina Fey/Daniel Waters’ point, which is: Hey, kids! Quit being shitty to each other.

My Mom Jayne

Prolific cop thespian Mariska Hargitay spills the tea on her nutty origin story which mostly involves being the daughter of glamor gal Jayne Mansfield. But there are many more twists in her family saga which she documents with great personal effect. If there was an Emmy for most personal film, she would win. Filmmaking is nothing fancy. It’s pretty straightforward and aims to educate and inform. You can’t help but root for the hero as she recalls being batted around from parent to parent and somehow turning out okay.