Underworld: Awakening

The simplicity of the plot is kind of inspiring: There’s a little girl. She’s “the Chosen one.” (Of course.) She’s been captured by baddies. Get the ass-kicking vampire chick out of cryogenic freeze to rescue her, and kill as many baddies as possible. I respect and admire the aspiration to be simple and clear, especially since the previous Underworld movies are horrible mazes of weird history and back-story, which was all meant to be filler in between leather-clad, vampire-chick beat-downs. The consummate Kate Beckensale delivers swift vampire justice elegantly, while the Shakespearean-trained villains chew the scenery reliably. There’s a lot of noise, but not a lot of emotion, and that’s what I expect from my vampires vs. werewolves movies. I guess if I wanted my vampires to emote, I’d watch Twilight, and, come on, I sure as hell ain’t gonna do THAT.