Man of Steel

** SUPER-SPOILERS!! **

Damn. Damn. Damn. As soon as we see Jor-El flying around on a giant dragonfly, I sensed something was amiss. We all know what happened on Krypton. Why show it again? And why change it to the point where it’s unrecognizable and ridiculous? Many bad decisions were made in Man of Steel regarding the legacy of Superman. The Smallville/Lois Lane/Daily Planet timeline has been completely fucked with for no good reason. Why couldn’t they show us something NEW we hadn’t seen, instead of rejiggering the old tropes?

What I found more offensive was the pace. It felt like the filmmakers made a five hour movie and the powers that be made them cut it down to two. Every scene felt like it was cut in half, which destroyed any possibility of cadence. One of the reasons Watchmen worked was because it HAD to be bloated. Not following the story of the original graphic novel would have been blasphemy. Therefore, the exciting moments kicked ass and the slow moments were pleasantly weird. But the original Man of Steel trailer promised a different tone: what if Terrence Malick did Superman? Someone, the studio, Chris Nolan, or a devil on Zach Snyder’s shoulder saw fit to cut out all the breathing room. Man of Steel feels like a highlight reel to a much bigger and better movie.

There are some positives. Henry Cavill is the perfect choice for Clark Kent/Jesus. Michael Shannon nailed his Zod, although he never gets to say, “Kneel before Zod!” And there are some nice moments with Amy Adams and Diane Lane. But overall, with great regret I have to say: this did nothing for me. There is nothing even the slightest bit exhilarating about it. I actually liked Superman Returns better, but not by much. This makes Smallville a masterwork, where the legend was treated with reverence and it was assumed that the audience knew the basics.