Young at Heart

You can’t really lose with a concept like this. Old people singing rock and roll? It’s almost too easy. And they’re old, so someone’s bound to die. And that’s sad. So, as sweet and funny as this movie sometimes is, it made me terrified of growing old.

Turn the River

A low-budget indie starring pretty Famke Janssen as a pool hustler. Janssen is solid and sympathetic, but it’s clear the filmmakers tried to make her asexual. Unfortunate, because all I could think about during the movie was, “How come nobody in the movie notices how pretty she is?” Tone wise it’s a bit of a downer, too. But all-in-all an excellent showcase for an actor who’s used to playing superhumans to spread her dramatic wings.

Forbidden Kingdom

A really fun kung-fu dream. Beautifully filmed, expertly choreographed, and exciting. The script is paper-thin and goofy, but the sense of adventure and regard for the genre are superb.

Zombie Strippers

A new gold standard for exploitation. Filled with references to current politics, sexual and national, and hidden gems of overt existentialism. All of which is really a ruse to show lots of titties. It’s brilliant. It could have been shorter; certain running jokes and subplots start to get a little tedious. It lacks an economy of schlock. Also, unfortunately, the movie doesn’t cling to one hero. There are multiple protagonists and it’s hard to know who to root for. Nevertheless, it’s an almost perfect example of a specific kind of… um… theatre-of-the-absurd? (There’s a character named, “Ian Essko.” Get it? I did. Sort of. Or did I?)

Forgetting Sara Marshall

I can’t say enough about how good this is. The laugh-per-minute ratio is about the highest I’ve experienced since, well, The 40-Year-Old Virgin. But it’s not crude. It’s dirty, but the jokes are all contextual, and they’re spawned directly from the hapless hero’s painful situations. The pain is excruciatingly real, and you can tell the writer/star Jason Segel mined his own personal experiences; sacrificing himself for the relief of others. It’s an incredibly heartfelt and accurate account of the poor guy who has to hold the pretty girl’s purse while she goes out and lives. There’s no better example of this than the gut-wrenching comparison between the old girlfriend Kristen Bell’s bitchy reaction to the hero’s labor-of-love musical number, and the supportive applause of the newfound dreamgirl Mila Kunis. It’s a new benchmark of honesty and humiliation.

Cat City

A more appropriate title might be, “Let’s All Kick Julian Sands in the Balls!” In this desert noir, Julian Sands takes it in the jewels (metaphorically) from about every character in the movie. Poor guy! BRILLIANTLY edited by Pete Sepenuk, Cat City is a fun, low-budget crime-drama with some good performances by some of the cast, and some dodgy performances by others. Suffice to say, Rebecca Pidgeon plays the put-upon wife skillfully, and her ass looks rock-hard in a bikini.

The Battle of San Pietro/ Let There Be Light

Two documentaries produced by the War Department during World War 2 and directed by John Huston. Both were films meant to be and known to be honest depictions of the war and the psychological aftermath. During Q&A, Huston relatives and historians still insist these are unstaged and accurate docs. But they were BOTH phonier than a 3-dollar bill. Almost laughably fake.

Street Kings

Keanu Reeves is going to TAKE BACK THE STREETS! So, it's a big barrage of cop cliches, complete with the ubiquidous revenge for the slain partner, breaking every rule in the book to nab the bad guy, drinking on the job, and, of course, finding out that the conspiracy goes a lot higher than the hero imagined. Keanu embodies his characters, there's no doubt. His physicality is always imposing. And as his sidekick, Chris Evans is earnest and robust. But MAN, was this predictable. It's like it was written by a horrible, cop-drama-generating robot. It's already a Zucker brothers or Wayans brothers comedy; they don't even need to bother with the spoof. Forest Whitaker doesn't even play a human being. He's the Frankenstein monster of over-the-top, yelling, police commanders. Keanu deserves better. Maybe he should stick to sci-fi. He's never better than when he's got his feet in a big pot of water and he's staring into the eyes of a cat.

Smart People

Dennis Quaid gives this the old college try, but he’s more believable as a cowboy or a secret-service agent. He affected some “quirks” for his intellectual character that were a little too transparent. Ellen Page was okay, but the script (or something about the movie) made her desires unclear. Thank God for Thomas Heyden Church, a kazoo in an orchestra of violins. He effortlessly steals the show, and just barely pushes this movie into “worth seeing.” Otherwise, instead of Smart People, it could have been called "Dull People."

Leatherheads

The concept is winning but the tone is a mess. Is it a football history or a screwball comedy? Some of the scenes were semi-serious with moody lighting and whispery, sexy, Out of Sight-style acting. Other scenes were right out of a Howard Hawks comedy. Bold lighting, zany music, but a little slow with the snappy dialogue. Screwball comedy needs to be faster and louder. Clooney’s biggest enemy is himself here. He wants the best of both genres. Instead he gets a boring combination.

The Ruins

Surprisingly good performances in what is otherwise a sub-par, xenophobic campfire tale. There’s no cause and effect here. The “villain” isn’t what causes all the problems, so it’s hard to focus your emotion on anything tangible. However, the acting, especially by Jena Malone and Laura Ramsey, is unusually, almost incongruously good for this kind of movie. It’s worth seeing for that alone; in spite of the fact that you’ll wish, as I did, that all of this good acting could have been based on a more interesting script.

Then She Found Me

Very low-budget but likable romantic comedy directed and starring Helen Hunt. Extremely low-budget. The rushed, makeshift cinematography, sound design, and music shouldn’t be noticeable, but it is. The acting and sweetness elevates this, though, to the point where it’s tolerable.

21

Man! They fucked this up. I’m not normally that guy who’s read the book beforehand and complains when they don’t stick to the story. But they changed the races of the characters, the motives, and the story itself. This is a travesty. I may not have felt this way if I hadn’t read the book. The pace is fast and the actors are likable. But taking out the good, juicy bits, and watering them down for mass consumption? Lame.

Snow Angels

I don’t have e.s.p. I’m not one of those people who always figures out the twist ending. I like to be surprised. But in the case of Snow Angels, in my mind, I predicted EXACTLY what would happen by the mid-point, and I sat around impatiently for an hour waiting for it. The movie itself tells you what happens at the end in the first ten minutes. So I found this very frustrating. The acting by Kate Beckensale, Sam Rockwell, and the kids is all up to par and solid. But the plot and pace! Ugh. I could’ve sat there and poked myself with a tack for two hours and gotten the same emotional result.

Run Fatboy Run

I like Simon Pegg. So do the producers of this movie apparently, because they entrust EVERYTHING to him. The concept and the script are stock. The production values are minimal. The comic timing is terrible. They just hoped they’d get enough laughs out of the English comedian wearing jogging shorts that appear to be way too tight. They didn’t.

Vantage Point

At times, very well-directed and suspenseful. Doesn’t add up to very much, but I still found myself biting my nails and wanting to cheer, “Go Dennis Quaid! Go get ‘em, you aging-but-still-capable Secret Service agent!” It’ll be a really fun movie to catch on cable late at night.

Doomsday

A pointless jambalaya of action scenes stolen from the various “Mad Max” movies. The plot makes almost no sense, but the action scenes themselves were fun. It’s the kind of movie you just want to fast-forward through to get to the good stuff.

10,000 B.C.

Me Doug. Doug want see movie. Doug not see movie for many moons. Doug want see movie where man supermodel fight saber-tooth tiger. Doug want see girl supermodel with blue eyes rescued by supermodel who speaks to mammoth. Doug see movie. Movie stupid. Doug stupid.

The Bank Job

If something is based on a true story, it’s always hard to know how much of the story is based on fact and how much is speculation. Does anyone really know what went on behind the closed doors of this famous robbery? Nevertheless, The Bank Job is fun and entertaining. Even if only HALF of what they say is true, it’s still amazing. Also, there's not one scene in this movie that’s longer than a minute. The pace is lightning. Don’t go to the bathroom – you’ll be lost. Fun and well-done.

The Signal

Interesting low-budget sci-fi. Cost-cutting efforts were admirable. The unrecognizable cast was game to play in the confined spaces, and despite the b-movie production values, the violence was creative and gruesome. All the best sci-fi offers some cautionary moral. This is no exception, and the moral is a worthy one, even if it seems hatched by the Parent Television Council: turn off the TV, hang up the cell phones, and RELATE. Before we all turn into murderous zombies.

Definately Maybe

Generally a likable movie. Likable cast, sweet premise, romantic. However..! I’m not sure why, but this felt like it was three hours long! It just wouldn’t end! I think because it’s structured like a mystery and the dad, Ryan Reynolds, is intentionally withholding key pieces of data from spunky Abigail Breslen, so the whole thing feels like a shaggy-dog tale. And that’s frustrating. So it’s likable but frustrating. A lot like this review.

Semi-Pro

The Will Ferrell recipe, half-baked, is not so delicious.

Charlie Bartlett

This started out great, and really seemed like it was going in a dangerous direction most teen movies haven’t dared to go. Unfortunately, the second half goes over a cliff, and the story tries to recover from all the political incorrectness by exploiting every hacky cliché from the genre. The lead actor, Anton Yelchin, is supremely talented, but only at times is this on display. Sometimes he veers into a really annoying, over-talented, Dakota Fanning territory -- where he knows he’s really talented, and he comes off as disingenuous... so you want to punch him in the face. Kudos, though, to Kat Dennings as the sweet girlfriend. She’s destined for great things. Otherwise, this was below par, so I can’t really recommend it. It had hope, but lost its way.

Be Kind Rewind

Not terrible, but lacked purpose. Not laugh-out-loud funny, either. It seems that director Michel Gondry needs Charlie Kaufman and Jim Carey more than they need him. A fun diversion, though, and a heartwarming ending. It just doesn’t resonate.

Jumper

Dull sci-fi with lots of missed potential. Confusing because it seems like a lot of stuff was cut out. Diane Lane’s in the movie for two scenes. Weird. The motives of the villain are totally unclear. The time-line is screwy. And the big fight, the big final “knock-down, drag-out” isn’t even against the villain. It’s with another dude. This will probably yield a sequel which hopefully will explore the concept better and tap the potential. Not terrible, but bland and forgettable.

Michael Clayton

(Second viewing)
It’s still slow in the beginning, and it still dazzles by the end. It’s also worth pointing out, that although it’s pretty much a given that Daniel Day Lewis will win the Oscar, Clooney’s performance is more difficult, nuanced, and three-dimensional. Daniel Day Lewis bursts from every frame – a larger than life portrait. But Clooney manages to shrink from the frame and still compel you to watch him. You wonder, what got him down? How did the world kick his ass so thoroughly? Looking at an actor like George Clooney, and imagining the kind of movie-star life he must lead, how did he manage to depict a loser so deeply and thoughtfully? Oscars tend to go to the most memorable performances. The handicapped, drug-addicts, or the Ray Charles, Truman Copote, Idi Amin historical types. Not since Kevin Spacey won for American Beauty has a guy won for playing an ordinary schlub. He won’t win, but Clooney deserves to be remembered for this.

Strange Wilderness

This is what happens when the “merry men” formula of The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and a million other movies, goes horribly horribly wrong. I’m sure the filmmakers thought, “Well, we’ve got Steve Zahn, Justin Long, Jonah Hill, and those 2 dumb guys from all the Adam Sandler movies. Who needs a script? They can just improvise! It’ll be hilarious!” Sandler’s team is getting lazy. Ten years ago he was a trailblazer. But now days, with The Longest Yard, Click, Chuck and Larry, Deuce Bigalow, and now this. Stale. It’s all going downhill fast.

Rambo

Stallone requires us to shut down the logical, sensible side of our minds that tells us that violence is wrong. Instead, he massages the primal side of the brain; the illogical, gruesome part of us that says it’s thrilling to watch a rapist sliced in half by a machete if he’s got it coming. Stallone milks the hubris a man can feel behind the barrel of a large-caliber machine gun, both the danger and the power that it can impose. Stallone has his cake and eats it, too, condemning violence while entertaining us with a body count ten times higher than Apocalypto. It is, in the strictest sense, catharsis -- release through drama. But when you’re walking out of the theater wondering what it was all about, your face might be as blank as Stallone's at the end. As if he’s waiting for all the non-violent Christian missionaries to say, “Thank you, John Rambo, for saving us from these evil Burmese dudes.” But no thanks ever come, as the Christians are too busy picking exploded people’s body parts out of their hair.

U23D

A fun night at the movies; watching swoopy zooming shots of U2 on tour in Argentina. Attempts in post-production to liven up the 3-D by having superimposed 3-D words flying out of the screen are unnecessary. The amazing crane shots of the thousands of concert goers bouncing in waves during the more upbeat numbers are enough to say, “Whoa, cool!”

Cloverfield

Okay, first: Why is it called Cloverfield? The gimmick is clever: Godzilla meets Blair Witch. When dramatizing a dude picking up a camcorder to document the mêlée, preferably it is someone brave and articulate. Not a dumbass. So there’s a problem. The “shots”, though fake, and composed by a dumbass, are terrible. Too, New York seems to only be occupied by good-looking, selfish, twenty-somethings, who you sort of HOPE will get crushed by Godzilla. They would have it coming, which shouldn’t be the point. So, as a gimmick it’s good, but there’s no character development and no monster motives. It’s all very stock. The Mist is a far better “giant computer-generated monsters take over the world” scenario. Netflix.

Teeth

Impressive in so many ways. It got made. It works. It’s funny AND spooky. And it features the one of the most ballsy and auspicious debuts since… since… I don’t know… um… Jessica Lange in the remake of King Kong! Anyway, actor Jess Weixler’s transition from virgin to vagilante is stunning. If there were any justice in the world, next year she’d get the kind of kudos Ellen Page is getting this year for Juno. But that won’t happen. The concept is too creepy. Weixler’s performance is even more impressive considering the script doesn’t help her as much as it should. There are jarring leaps in pace and chronology, and we’re left with a few loose ends. BUT STILL! I predict this will blow up, catch on and be a cult hit. It’s the girl. She nails it. You’ll lay awake at night wanting to screw her, but panicking about the possible consequences.

I'm Not There

Features lots of vignettes more or less related somehow to Bob Dylan. There’s lots of Bob Dylan music, some interesting performances (Kate Blanchette plays him part of the time, and she’ll probably get nominated), but the vignettes don’t build up to any kind of dramatic conclusion. The Dylan songs themselves have far more peaks, valleys, and drama.

Atonement

Very well made. Characters, settings, mise en scène are handled with precious manner. The well-performed, uptight British characters are so repressed they can barely speak to each other until it’s time to molest little boys. It’s amazing the English were ever able to propagate at all. Nevertheless, it’s a long but good show, accentuating the shadows, the waiting, and negative spaces in between all the shooting, stabbing, and kissing that happens – sometimes non-stop – in other, more American-style movies. Don’t wait for the “cut to the chase”, it doesn’t happen. Only the painful results of that kind of uniquely British unrequited love. The moral of the story: when given the opportunity, be sure to punch a bratty, eleven-year-old English chick in the face. You never know when you’ll have another chance or a clear shot.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets

So unbelievably stupid, it makes Scooby Doo look like a documentary.

Doug's Favorite Movies of 2007

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
Lars and the Real Girl
The Mist
The Bourne Ultimatum
Michael Clayton
The Darjeeling Limited
Ratatouille
Black Book
300

Honorable Mention:

No Country for Old Men
Eastern Promises
Black Sheep
There Will Be Blood
Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End
Hot Fuzz
The Ten
The Hoax

Appendix:

Doug's Least Favorite Movie of 2007: Death Proof

There Will Be Blood

…is a movie driven by theme. It’s a cautionary tale about how greed and religious fervor can corrupt absolutely and can easily destroy everyone around. But because it’s driven by theme, the characters are permitted to be larger than life and actors Daniel Day Lewis and Paul Dano take every opportunity to devour the scenery in support of their thematic cause. Daniel Day Lewis, channeling Jack Palance, owns every molecule of his character and he is utterly captivating. This is an unmitigated benchmark of the craft. P.T. Anderson gets lots of brownie points for ambition, though don’t believe the reviews that say this is weird or unconventional. The only thing unconventional is the music, which at times drove me crazy. Otherwise, this could be a John Ford movie, with all the stunning cinematography, set-pieces, and bombastic performances. It’s a powerful and meaningful warning to all Americans.

Charlie Wilson's War

Tom Hanks and Philip Seymour Hoffman, both of whom are in top form, plan a covert war like they’re remodeling a kitchen. I’ve seen guys talk about football with ten times the passion. So it should come as no unsettling surprise when, after chasing Russians away, the celebration of the Afghani rebels feels like watching a slow-motion train wreck. Aren’t we at war in Afghanistan now? Everything about this is soft-edged, and it zips along with a casual, airy flow. Julia Roberts is miscast, but otherwise it’s a good show. Except, the pity we’re prompted to feel for the armless Afghani children seems disingenuous. Perhaps this is intentional. Perhaps all the U.S. did was throw gas on a fire. Perhaps Charlie Wilson planted the seeds for the mother of all quagmires.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter are peas in a pod. As gruesome co-conspirators, they bear a striking resemblance to their counterparts in Corpse Bride, right down to the pale skin and sunken eyes. Both are great actors, and their murderous nuances are winning. HOWEVER, neither one of them can sing very well. It’s passable, but having never seen the musical, I wonder what it was like to have singers in those roles. Gratefully there are some who are better in smaller roles, including freakishly pitch-perfect Jayne Wisener, an unknown who has potential flying out of her skinny Irish wazoo. Tim Burton’s signature style is stamped all over this; the striking gothic sets and Crayola-red squirting blood. It’s a hell of a thing to behold, even if you’re not humming any of the songs on the way out.

Youth Without Youth

For his first movie in a long time, Francis Coppola enters David Lynch territory. This is a weird, sci-fi love story that feels like they’re making up the rules as they go along. Tim Roth is solid, as is his pretty co-star Alexandra Maria Lara. But the plot and tone are inconsistent and bizarre leaps in logic are abundant. Allegiance to the novels’ structure seems to be the reason, but it can't be said enough: movies and novels are two different things. Sometimes they don’t always translate. Coppola gets kudos for screaming out of the gate with something this… um… impressionistic, but, as I’ve said before – ambiguity is a crutch. It’s a lot harder to be clear.

I am Legend

Cast Away with zombies. Will Smith carries it well with charisma and the best canine sidekick since Mad Max’s mangy dingo-thing in The Road Warrior. But as good as he is, he can’t keep you from poking holes in the plot. Lots of flawed zombie logic leaves many unanswered questions. Not the least of which is: why do the zombies move so fast? (It’s funny that I don’t question that they’re ZOMBIES, just that they move too fast for zombies. Which is ridiculous, right? I mean, how should I know how fast zombies move?) Anyhoo, it’s a big summer movie in December. They didn’t reinvent the wheel, but it’ll do for a star-driven zombie fix.

Lars and the Real Girl

We all do it. We all choose to believe the lie. We all know that Uncle Roger’s an alcoholic. We all know the CIA tortures people. We all know human beings evolved by natural selection. We all know there is no Santa Claus. But cumulatively we all decide we’ll pick a lie to believe in, because it makes us feel better and not have to face the truth. Lars and the Real Girl is a profound portrait of denial. It depicts what is possible when a community decides to believe a lie to help one of their own, thus taking responsibility for the mental health of a neighbor who they KNOW has a screw loose. Rather than ignore Lars and shun him, the people enable him to embrace the solution.

Reminiscent of Harvey and/or Mannequin, but with a Frank Capra degree of optimism in human kind, Lars and the Real Girl is so sincere it almost shouldn’t work. But it benefits from an amazing cast and a stellar performance by Ryan Gosling. Also, this movie is not about romantic love, so it avoids the creepiness that the love doll idea conjures. When the idea of romantic love does come into play, it boils down to the most basic and possibly the most difficult step for many people: asking someone out for the first time.

In many ways, Lars and the Real Girl is the antithesis of The Mist, wherein the community believes the lie until they all turn against each other. I suggest seeing both movies on the same day: The Mist first, then Lars and the Real Girl. It just might BLOW YOUR MIND! Conclusively, this is one of the best movies of the year.

Enchanted

Not enough can be said about Amy Adams and her sterling commitment to her character and this concept. She is pitch-perfect as she sings and waltzes her way through several big musical numbers, lacking even a hint of irony. Her co-stars Susan Sarandon and James Marsden bring their "A" games as well. Alas, the script is the poison apple. The motives of the villain are foggy and the pace suffers when the goals and directives of the story change. The second half is less funny and more clunky, and the conclusion feels rushed and lackluster. All things considered, the songs, the music, and Amy Adams make this worthwhile, if imperfect.

The Golden Compass

It seems like a movie intended only for those who have read the books. Many of the fantastic and unique things about the alternate universe setting are glazed over, never explained, and taken for granted. The most flagrant example of this: each human character in the story is accompanied by an alter-ego animal. (The animation for these animals is outstanding, by the way.) But the “rules” for this universe – the fantastic way that these people live with these animals is frustratingly vague. Do these animals represent the conscious of the characters? Their moral centers? The animals seem passive and only occasionally help their humans by issuing warnings, etc. I’d rather have R2-D2 by my side any day of the week. The story feels rushed, too. Seemingly large “chapters” get resolved too quickly. The build-up and back-story to a feud of giant talking bears is shorter than their wrestlemania showdown. Again, beautifully animated, but it’s hard to care when we’ve barely been given a change to get to know or sympathize with the giant talking bears. This is a mixed bag.

The Savages

Man! Was this depressing! It hits too close to home. Phillip Seymour Hoffman was spot-on, but I misunderstood some of the motives of Laura Linney's character. What can I say? It’s really accurate. It’s really human. And it pokes into a lot of uncomfortable places. Leave time to have a drink afterwards. It’s good, but it’s a punch in the gut.

Margot at the Wedding

Ultimately a downer, filled with dramatic non-sequiturs, shitty camerawork, and weird child actors. The sister relationship between Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Jason Leigh was deep and fascinating. The whole movie should have been about these women. Instead, half the movie diverts us to Kidman’s weird looking, androgynous son and his misunderstanding of everything and/or Leigh’s funny but random relationship with fiancée Jack Black. What’s annoying, too, are “bits” inserted randomly in the movie which are intentionally and overtly meant to be weird. Rather than reveal the quirks of the characters organically, the filmmaker's “Ooo! Look how weird and dysfunctional these people are!” moments feel phony and premeditated.

Hitman

Forgettable action movie fraught with bad acting and an incomprehensible plot. There’s no modulation in the dramatic moments. When something important happens, there’s nothing cinematic to emphasize it. Therefore, key clues and plot twists get glazed over with the same action beats, making the whole thing, like, well, watching a video game.

The Mist

I could write volumes about this movie. It’s a ticking bomb. Well-acted, well-directed, and unnerving. Marcia Gay Harden is superb and terrifying as a religious nutjob who our hero (perfect everyman Thomas Jane) and his reasonable allies can’t stand to be around. She’s so fanatical and dangerous that the good people would rather take their chances with the CG creatures. There’s a strong moral here, too: don’t give up hope. Be good. Be kind. And persist. No matter how bad things look. Quite possibly one of the most cynical movies I’ve ever seen. Worth seeing, but may dash your hopes for world peace.

Southland Tales

My second viewing. I still like it, and I still can’t recommend it. I understand the plot A LITTLE better, but I don’t think a lot of it is SUPPOSED to make sense. I recently learned that there are prequels of the movie available in comic book form. Maybe that’ll clear things up. Nevertheless, there’s still nothing else like it.

Beowulf

Overall, this is impressive. It’s visionary and it’s exciting. However, I didn’t see it in 3-D and I wish I had. The animation is, at times, inconsistent. Beowulf is well animated and uncannily human. But occasionally, the supporting characters aren’t as expressive. Their facial movements are computer-y and, in moments, the animation is a bit like Shrek. Other times, the animation is gorgeous and photorealistic. There’s a good moral here too: Don’t let the temptation of beautiful dragon/women make you lose sight of your goal.

Love in the Time of Cholera

Love in the Time of fake beards and bad make-up. Normally I don’t like to nitpick about such things, but the bad beards distracted from the story. Too, in a rush to squeeze the entire novel into two hours, the whole movie felt like a weekly recap. “Previously on Lost…” This was rushed, unromantic, and uninspired. At least the trailer is great.

Smiley Face

Anna Feris is in perfect form here. After an accidental overdose of pot, she floats through her day, getting deeper and deeper in trouble. It’s like The Big Lebowski with a female protagonist. Really funny, and unlike other dope comedies, it serves as a bit of a cautionary tale. I’m biased though, because I love Anna Feris. Love her. (As an actor, not a person. I don’t know her personally.)

No Country for Old Men

Taut, bleak, and full of dark humor, The Coens are in familiar territory: existential noir. Great performances all around, especially Josh Brolin, a smart dude whose judgment gets clouded by a big bag of money. Most of the movie is linear and plot-driven, but the “novel” structure takes over after a while which makes the ending a bit of a bummer. Nevertheless, its strong characterizations, suspenseful plot, and terminator-ish villain all make this a must see.

Look

Voyeuristic drama told from the point of view of assorted security cameras. The drama itself, Altman-esque, would have worked without the security camera gimmick. But the cameras add something creepy and realistic to the proceedings. There are even moments when it appears the filmmakers intercut real security camera footage. It helps, too, that the performances are, for the most part, authentic, which is no small chore. I imagine “security camera acting” would require it’s own special skill set. I liked this, it’s unique, and it’s worth seeing.

Public Enemy: Welcome to the Terrordome

Worthwhile, but par-for-the-course music doc about the influential rappers. The q&a afterwards with the band was HILARIOUS.

Noise

Forgettable Tim Robbins comedy/drama about a New York vigilante obsessed with stopping noise pollution. Good intentions, but not really that gripping.

Juno

Funny and sweet. I kept waiting for this to get disturbing, but it never does. It remains pure and sweet throughout. Michael Cera is a standout here with his perfect deadpan.

Heckler

One of my favorites at the festival. A very personal doc/essay featuring comedian Jamie Kennedy as he investigates why people scream at comedians and why do reviewers attack artists personally, rather than critique their work. Well structured, funny, and human.

American Gangster

Extremely well-made and almost perfect in every way. Never a dull or unclear moment. Glorifies violent drug dealers a bit, but tries to show the damage they do, too. A little more of that would have helped. A brief but memorable appearance from Carla Gugino.

In Search of a Midnight Kiss

Before Sunrise set in L.A. Admirable cost-cutting and guerilla filmmaking, but a stock, unremarkable romance. A strong performance from Sara Simmonds makes it tolerable, though.

Southland Tales

I really liked this and it stuck with me. It’s not for everybody. It’s weird, and it doesn’t always make sense. There’s an all-star cast of comic actors, most of whom are from SNL, supporting The Rock (?) and Sarah Geller (?) But I can’t help admiring it. It’s a comic/sci-fi Altman movie, and it dares to be different.

Pop Skull

I walked out of this, so I can't really give it a fair review. The narrator sounded like the guy in the King Missile song, "Detachable Penis."

Lions for Lambs

Well-intentioned, but boring. Unfortunately, it’s this kind of thing that makes the anti-war movement look bad. Everything’s so preachy and on-the-nose. There is no suspense or drama here. So it makes liberals (Redford) look clueless, superior, and pretentious. Cruise plays the only interesting character – a cocky Senator in denial, and a nice spin on his usual persona. Otherwise, this is a dud.

Gone Baby Gone

There’s more good here than bad. Most of the story unfolds in those grey areas between right and wrong, and Co-Writer/Director/Producer Ben Affleck navigates these grey areas better than many directors, skillfully depicting a crime drama with no easy answers. It’s success is due in large part to the performance of brother Casey, who’s MUCH better here than in The Assassination of Jesse James. There are times when the story gets a little bogged down and “acty”; several key plot-points are delivered in monologues that seem to go on too long. But of all of the debuts of all the directors everywhere, Affleck deserves to be commended for shouldering an extremely difficult subject matter, keeping it real, and making it work.

Murder Party

Clever use of limited budget and locations. Starts out like The Breakfast Club of pretentious art-scene jerks, then devolves into a crazy but lengthy grindhouse bloodbath. Very well-acted, strong dialogue, and good laughs. (Some of this felt like improv.) A lot to admire here, despite a lackluster and predictable resolution. I’m glad I saw this.

Sleuth

Michael Caine and Jude Law chew the scenery and ham it up in this remake. The dialogue sounds affected and stilted, perhaps intentionally so, but it’s annoying. Also, this new version tries to tack-on a different third act reveal, something to reward those who’ve seen the play or the old movie, but it’s cheap and hacky. Caine and Law both give it the ol’ college try, but it’s more like sitting through an acting class and less like watching an entertaining movie.

Michael Clayton

During its slow first half, Tony Gilroy et al skillfully and almost invisibly invest in tiny little moments revealing bits of information that pay off in SPADES by the end. Another politically minded, socially conscious hit for Clooney, whose character has a reputation for being a badass, but we don’t see why for a long time. But when we finally do, it’s savage and satisfying. Gilroy and Clooney should both get lots of nominations for this. This is a great movie; well-worth the possible early yawns.

The Darjeeling Limited

I really liked this. Wes Anderson’s unique style is tattooed all over this. He seems to travel around with truckloads of blue paint, coloring every train and hut just the way he wants it. The movie has a strong point of view, and its American characters see an idealized, playground-version of India, the setting for their so-called “spiritual journey.” But the characters here, like other Anderson movies, are neurotic and self-centered, and are as confused about India as they are about themselves. The cast is GREAT, especially Owen Wilson. There are many life lessons here; recurring Anderson themes about the importance of family and one’s individual place in spite of it. The movie puts them on display (or on the nose) and they are whimsically obvious. But it’s actually refreshing to see a movie so confident and clear about its intentions that it can spell-out its themes without seeming disingenuous. And one of those life lessons is an unmissable whopper: let go of your baggage.

The Heartbreak Kid

The Farrelly brothers are romantics at heart. And they want the best of both worlds. They want the happy endings and they want the dick jokes. But to do that, there must be some resolution and redemption for the hero; whether it’s Jim Carey, Woody Harrelson, Jack Black, or Ben Stiller. Here, there biggest problem is, the resolution is sour and off-putting. In an effort to stick a few extra jokes onto the end of the movie, they un-redeem their character and make him look like a jerk again. So the whole thing is dissatisfying. The only one who comes out okay here is the blonde foil, played by Malin Akerman. She’s a good sport and stays funny as she endures freaky skin legions and lots of random crap hanging out of her nose.

The Kingdom

All for naught. The ambitious, skillfully filmed action sequences aren’t emotional because the script isn’t clear about who the bad guy is. When we finally learn who the bad guy is, they are captured, it’s the end of the movie and we never learn their motives. Then the movie tries to preach some vague moral about the reasons people wage war. It’s a shame. It’s obvious a lot of time and work went into the technical aspects of this movie to make it exciting. If the script had made sense, it would have been.

The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

I rarely fall asleep in movies. I had to FIGHT to stay awake as the pace is coma-inducing. Perhaps lingering on the beautifully composed shots by Roger Deakins was the filmmakers scheme for disguising this boring, hamstrung script. But without a tangible story, the movie could be better suited as a National Geographic special. “Wheat: Nature’s Paintbrush.” The title and the film are both way too long. There are no likable characters. There is no interesting story. The narration is terrible. And Jesse James was not charismatic. He was an asshole. This is a dud.

Resident Evil: Extinction

Milla seems to get prettier as she gets older. But, as unusual as this sounds, there is a bad, distracting lack of make-up continuity. At times her skin is so pristine, she looks like a mannequin. Other times, she gets dirty, and she looks BETTER. It switches from shot to shot. Weird. She’s not really naked enough either. But aside from all of this objectifying of Milla, she kicks lots of zombie ass. And that’s really the point, isn’t it? And, like Mad Max, she emerges from the desert to help the plucky band of survivors who need the hope that only a mysterious, telekinetic desert nomad can give them. The filmmaking is good, the action is strong, and the character development is, well, minimal. It’s mainly about Milla killing zombies.

Across the Universe

I wanted to like this, but I didn’t. It’s too corny and on the nose. With Beatles songs throughout, do the character’s names really need to be “Jude”, “Lucy”, “Prudence”, or “Rita?” The Beatles weren’t so obvious. Even Jude’s name wasn’t “Jude.” Certain segments are beautifully designed. There’s a great number in a bowling alley. But the script forces songs into the movie, not for story or plot’s sake, but to have a number. So you end up getting a bunch of guys together to sing “With a Little Help From My Friends” but then you never see the guys again. Some friends! These departures are symptomatic of a weak, directionless script, with very little point. The singing and performances are played in earnest, but they’re all trapped in an inert, overblown music video. Definitely not for Beatles fans! It’ll drive you crazy. But non-Beatles fans might appreciate a fresh take on some of the songs.

Eastern Promises

Viggo Mortensen’s commitment to his character is unwavering and consummate. It has to be, as he is portraying a man so committed and loyal to his crime family. This starts out a little pokey; lots of voice-over of Naomi Watts reading a diary. But the pay-offs and reveals are worth it, featuring one of the best, most audacious fight scenes ever filmed. Though not the mind-blower that A History of Violence was, the plot, script, and performances here are all exceptional. One huge drawback and the worst thing about this movie by far: the title. “Eastern Promises” sounds like a corset drama, not a Cronenberg movie.

The Brothers Solomon

Aspires for a high level of distilled creepiness, but it turns out to be very uneven. Will Forte is pitch-perfect, but Will Arnett, whose brazen cluelessness on Arrested Development was sublime, stumbles here. He’s too lecherous, and not innocent enough to be sympathetic. Kristen Wiig is unfortunately underused and plays it straight. Not the worst movie of the year, (it gets points for daring), but under no circumstances can I recommend it.

Shoot 'Em Up

This was a lot of fun, but it could have been better. There aren’t enough characters. There are lots of shootouts, but not a lot of action -- as in acting to achieve a goal. The hooker with a heart of gold, Monica Bellucci, was terrible. She can barely speak and they saddled her with all of the expositional dialogue. Individual scenes were a blast, paying respectful tribute to John Woo, The Coens, and the Loony Toons. But when the cast is so small, the weak links can cause the whole stage to collapse.

3:10 to Yuma

Christian Bale can make anybody look good. So can Russell Crowe. And Ben Foster, Crowe’s weasel-y minion, makes Crowe look like a saint. Mangold’s direction is skillfully reserved. The whole team are powerhouses, and they can protect against small weaknesses in the script with ease. It’s not all that upbeat of a story. It’s no Little Miss Sunshine. But Crowe’s admiration of Bale’s principles are subtlety but sublimely evident. It’s a bittersweet triumph when he finally decides what to do.

Balls of Fury

Funny, funny, funny. Funnier than Hot Rod. Unfortunately, there are moments when the filmmakers underestimated how funny they could have been. But otherwise, funny. Jack Black clone and Broadway star Dan Fogler is a good sport. Maggie Q has to be one of the top ten most beautiful women working in movies today. And James Hong, as a loony Mr. Miyagi guru, is pitch-perfect. I was told by the advertising to expect Enter the Dragon with ping-pong. My expectations were fulfilled.

Cruising

It’s refreshing to see Al Pacino in a movie where he isn’t screaming his lines. “YOU’RE OUT OF ORDER!” and “ATTICA!” or “YOU’RE AN ABSENTEE LANDLORD” or how about “I’D TAKE A FLAME-THROWER TO THIS PLACE!” He’s surprisingly restrained and subtle in a movie that, if it were released today, would probably receive an X rating. Admittedly, though, I was baffled by the ending, and therefore couldn’t really reconcile the plot. But there are great performances here and director Friedkin confidently takes us to a place we have never been before: a land of fetish cops and Crisco fists.

The Invasion

Unusual because it sucked, but I’m not sure why. Nicole Kidman was a trooper, running around killing and crying. But the rest of the cast was drab, the plot was dull, and the stakes felt very low. Also, there were montages and flashbacks that were confusing; featuring scenes that were obviously cut out of the movie. About the fifth bomb in a row for Kidman. Again, I’m not sure why. But there you have it.

Rocket Science

Imagine if “Raymond” was the lead in Rain Man and there was no “Charlie” equivalent to ground it. That’s Rocket Science –- a nearly autistic, stuttering schmo trying to drive the action, yet he never learns, grows, or overcomes anything. The high school debate scenes didn’t ring true either. This was lame.

Death at a Funeral

Dark, dark, dark comedy, which, ironically, is cut from the same cloth as the Judd Apatow movies and the Farrelly Brothers stuff. But it’s somehow more credible for some reason that the poo is splattering on the faces of BRITISH people. Makes it seem more “hoity-toity.” But it’s still as gross and ribald and laugh-out-loud funny. Worth seeing for canny, low-impact silliness.

Superbad

Like all buddy movies of this ilk, (see Wedding Crashers, Blades of Glory, Dumb and Dumber) this is really a love story about the two guys. So it’s much more of a “relationship” movie than a “hero’s journey” movie, which at times can be frustrating, since it seems like the main characters keep forgetting what they set out to do at the beginning of the movie. But there are plenty of laughs, lots of dick jokes, and great, rich, and comedically sophisticated performances from the two leads, Jonah Hill and Michael Cera. So it’s funny, but not “goal oriented.”

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters

Superficially this is about a nice guy going after the world record in Donkey Kong, but it weaves a tangled web of duplicity with Shakespearean precision. How lucky the documentarians were to find a hero (Steve Wiebe) with such heart and integrity, and an adversary (Billy Mitchell) so reprehensible, he seems less like a real person and more like the mustache-twisting villain from old-timey melodramas. This is the kind of doc that most people will skip because the “subject matter” (i.e. video games) does not appeal to them. But the subject matter is only the setting. The true drama, both basic and familiar, depicts the ingredients of most great dramas: good versus evil. Inspirational, not for the filmmaker’s great skill, but for finding a story so simple and profound buried in a subculture, but which is ethically microcosmic. That’s right, I said “inspirational.”
According to Stephen Hunter of The Washington Post, “One of the great pleasures of movies is that buzz you feel when you want to start grabbing people and saying ‘YOU GOTTA SEE THIS MOVIE.’” King of Kong is that kind of movie.

The Ten

Bizarre and funny. More amazing, though, than laugh-out-loud funny. It’s the A-list cast, Wynona Ryder, Gretchen Mol, Liev Schreiber, doing an oddball hybrid: a stoner version of a Samuel Beckett play and an SNL sketch about the ten commandments. The Gretchen Mol segment about taking the lord’s name in vain was the best. But seeing pretty Wynona Ryder make it with a ventriloquist dummy was mind-blowing. More silly than thought provoking; it’s still unabashedly unique and worth seeing.

Hot Rod

Plenty of belly laughs, and not for situational reasons. For random crap. Non sequiturs. Bits and sketches having little to do with the plot, and which aren’t even funny, except they get carried way too far. I can’t even remember what this was about. I just know I laughed.

The Bourne Ultimatum

This is a masterwork in pacing. Plot wise, little happens. Jason Bourne steals some files. Learns some secrets. Big deal. But the sequences, the chase through London’s Waterloo station, the footrace in and out of people’s flats somewhere in the Middle East, are the best of their kind. Brilliantly directed and edited. The most precisely exciting movie of the year.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry

Start with Will and Grace, and just go down from there. It’s a relentless barrage of gay jokes. Most of them aren’t even funny, and reminded me of the old Police Academy shtick. Moreover, I could see the potential; the possibility of creating a sophisticated farce, and the failure to even try. The filmmaker’s lack of vision makes this all the more paltry. Yes, there’s Jessica Biel in her underwear. Yes, it’s spectacular. But to watch Sandler grab her boobs to carry out some lame joke and fulfill some on-set fantasy is depressing. Biel and her beautiful boobs deserve better.

The Simpsons Movie

It pains me to say it, but this was unremarkable. Not that it’s bad, it’s just a longer stock episode. There are some funny bits, but the dramatic stakes are not raised enough. It’s not impressive if the animation is far superior when the plot is so cookie-cutter. The uninspired plot is actually SUB-par to the great Simpson’s episodes. This doesn’t hold a candle to Who Shot Mr. Burns. Ho-hum. So-so. Comme ci, comme ça.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

After my second viewing, I have to restate the tragedy of Imelda Staunton, who gives a perfect, creepy, wicked performance, but because of the weak Rowling plot, her motives remain unclear. It is a performance worthy of a better script. Odd, too, that so many of the ostensibly key gadgets from earlier books, the marauders map, the invisibility cloak, etc. might have come in handy here. But they, like so many plot threads, are ignored and left hanging. The 3-D finale was cool, though.

Sunshine

Sunshine takes liberally from the sci-fi vault: 2001, 2010, The Abyss… The Core. It’s never boring, but it lacks skillful foreshadowing and certain revelations seem to come out of nowhere. If you force yourself, you can help Danny Boyle et al justify these cheesy twists, but that also makes you start poking holes in the logic, which should not be the point. Ultimately, the theme, a worthwhile one about avoiding space travel with religious nut-jobs, gets pushed aside by the thankfully relentless plot, which, if given room to breathe for a nanosecond, would implode into antimatter. Worth a look, if for no other reason than at least it’s not a sequel.

Talk To Me

The richness of this docudrama comes when the characters react to the historical events with such genuine emotion. Don Cheadle does a great job of transforming from the cocky and brash exterior of Petey Greene to the hidden side impeded by stage fright. Chiwetel Ejiofor, currently the poor man’s Denzel, is great too, and both actors will receive gold-ish kudos. Lackluster ending barely detracts from overall meaty drama and funk-filled history lesson.

Black Sheep

Clever and perverse. A good combination of gross and funny. Not very suspenseful, though, and one gruesome sheep murder after another starts to get a little tedious. So it could’ve been a tad shorter. Nevertheless, the gross-outs are gross and the laughs are plentiful. Kudos to kiwi actress Danielle Mason for her deft debut.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

The filmmakers of the Order of the Phoenix bear the brunt of an incredible responsibility – to take an excruciatingly long novel with a muddled, disjointed plot and try and make a suspenseful movie out of it. In this case they were about 90% successful. David Yates et al did an excellent job of trying to strip and streamline the story to its bare essentials to attempt to create some genuine suspense. Unfortunately, doing so reveals how weakly Rowling plots in the first place and there’s little to do to fix that. The hope is to move fast enough so there’s no time to stop and ask what the hell’s going on. As for complaints that the “magic is gone,” I’m fine with that. You can only look at so many magical creatures. Eventually, shit needs to happen.

Rescue Dawn

Minimalist, straightforward, and objective, Werner Herzog’s episodes of the crash, capture, and torture of his protagonist seem like non sequiturs. At first, there appears to be no plot or thread. No rising action. There is little to no manipulation of suspense – music, quick cuts, etc. But slowly and almost unnoticeably my emotional involvement spiked when I found myself on the edge of my seat chowing-down on my nails praying that Dieter Dengler makes it out alive. But that’s only one of several escapes in the movie, each more harrowing. Christian Bale’s hero feels slightly too optimistic and freakishly positive, but it’s clear it would take a man with a certain mindset to survive what Dengler did.

Live Free or Die Hard

(2nd Viewing)

Transformers

Easily one of the best “cars-that-turn-into-robots-and-then-fight” movies this year.

Ratatouille

The animation is gorgeous and the story is delightful. The people who believe that because “Ratatouille” is a “cartoon” it’s a lesser art form and it’s for kids are horribly mistaken. They’re missing out on one of the best movies of the year. The amount of technical skill and loving care that goes into making Pixar movies far exceeds even the biggest Hollywood movies or arthouse labors of love. Disliking a type of medium is shallow. It’s like saying, “I like all paintings but watercolors.” The movie’s SO clever in fact, that its story condemns those who might criticize it. Furthermore there’s a reveal near the end, a culmination of many jokes, that made me laugh harder than I have in years. Tears streamed down my face. I think I might’ve even peed a little. I loved this.

Live Free or Die Hard

Tried and true Bruce Willis flexes, smirks and cackles his way through this preposterous script with aplomb. Justin Long, typecast as the nerd, plays a great counter to Willis. Long owns this character and it’s difficult to see him playing anything else. While the script is ridiculous and bad, the pace is supersonic and the testosterone-fueled entertainment value is high.

Sicko

While it’s true Michael Moore is selective with his data, he must be to tell the most emotional story possible. This is why “60 Minutes” doesn’t do hard-hitting exposés on Ralph’s brand enriched white rice. It’s bland. Moore takes his time with Sicko, reveling in his trips to foreign soil where there are hospitals with no cashiers. While he doesn’t offer many solutions for the American health care system, he avoids flat-out criticism. Through anecdotes he aims not to educate that the health system is flawed, (we all know that) but to energize his viewers into action by stating, strongly and emotionally, that all hope is not lost.

Evan Almighty

This was terrible. There are so many enormous lapses in logic, it’s almost as if the movie was made for the sole purpose of proving just how stupid and implausible the stories in the bible really are. Granted, it’s fiction, it’s fantasy, so I should suspend my disbelief. It’s not meant to be taken literally. But we all know and we can all identify basic human reactions. We know what shock is. Anger. Fear. Glee. When a character, any human being, reacts to something which is UNPRECIDENTED in human history by ignoring, dismissing, and scoffing at it, then we know this is behavior which is only meant to serve the plot. This is not behavior which is even close to the way a human being would react to a thing. It’s not funny. It’s not enlightening. It lacks genuine human emotions and reactions. It’s terrible. Sorry for Steve Carrell, as I’m a fan. Wow. Terrible. Really.