Confess Fletch

Jon Hamm makes a pretty good wise-ass. Not as smug, and ironically not as much of a “ham” as Chevy Chase’s Fletch, but can still mutter wise-cracks under his breath with the best of them. (For a true masterclass of sotto voce wise-crackery check out Christina Applegate in Dead to Me on Netflix.) The plot, involving a murder and some valuable paintings, is foggy. But Fletch’s friendships and interactions are cracking and the mystery skips along at a decent clip. So it’s a fun, lighthearted watch.

Real Life

A very relevant satire (and accurate prediction) of reality shows from comedian Albert Brooks. Made in the late 70’s, a large part of the comedy comes from the cameramen interfering with the “reality” and how the documentarians will ultimately “script” everything that you eventually see. Preemptively pokes fun at all the trashy “Duck Dynasty”, bickering family shows. Not ha-ha funny as much as pointed satire, but so astute.

Enchanted

Rewatched this Disney confection with Amy Adams at her perky best. It’s everyone’s commitment to the bit that makes this work.

Werewolf by Night

Is this a movie? Is it a special? Is it a short film? I’m not sure. It’s all encompassing. It ends. But it’s only about an hour long. It’s more like an Amazing Stories episode, or some other horror anthology. Presented in beautiful black and white, and with creepy old music, it really feels like an old Hammer Films horror film. It’s never very scary, often funny, and dips into the Werewolf legend, as well as other movie monsters. It’s a fun, bite-sized Halloween yarn.

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore

This was pretty long and pretty boring. To be fair, there are a couple of really exciting, really original magical action sequences. And the second half is better than the first half. But man it’s pokey. The first half makes Downton Abby look like a Michael Bay movie.

Amsterdam

David O Russell does Wes Anderson. I enjoyed this, despite not really following what was going on. The structure is goofy, and there are lengthy flashbacks full of set-up and exposition, where the groundwork for the plot is being laid, but there’s not a lot of conflict. Filmmakers rely on witty banter to keep the plates spinning, and not much else. Sitting back, having a beer, trusting Bale, Robbie, Washington, et al, and going along for a ride seems to work. It’s a fun but mostly frivolous endeavor. And (spoiler alert) Taylor Swift gets run over by a car, so there’s that.

Avatar

Revisited this re-release in Imax. It’s still amazing after all this time, and there are still moments that are plenty corny, like the mean Colonel (Stephan Lang) who drinks his open cup of coffee in the giant rain-forest destroying machine-thing - more of a caricature than most Disney villains. However corny, Cameron and his crew capture one of the primary qualities that I admire these days – an unalloyed joy and deep passion for making movies.

Elvis

It’s Baz Luhrmann, so of course it’s way, way over the top. It’s Baz Luhrmann so of course it’s super cutty and disjointed. It’s Baz Luhrmann so of course the musical numbers are the best thing about it. It’s Baz Luhrmann, so of course it’s about as subtle as a flying chainsaw. If you sign up for Baz Luhrmann, you get Baz Luhrmann.

Three Thousand Years of Longing

Alithea (Tilda Swinton) is the skeptic. She lectures about myths and stories for a living. So, when a genie smokily manifests  in her hotel room, she immediately starts poking holes. “All genie stories are cautionary tales” and she won’t get sucked in. In what’s a sweet love story resolution, she winds up granting wishes for the genie in this simple parable about being selfless and reinventing yourself in the process. As it is a story about stories, the Djinn regales Alithea with tales from his long past, the morals of which are that the genies always suffer. These chapters are beautifully filmed by George Miller et al, but are scattered, elusive, and a bit long. But the point, which takes a while to get to, is heartwarmingly worth it.

The Ravine

Emotional, faith-filled story from Keoni Waxman about forgiveness and redemption. Excellent moving camera and heart-felt performances from the cast.

The Day Shift

“Now hiring: circus performers for vampire comedy.” The contortionist vampires are the most original touch to what is otherwise a conventional and by-the-numbers vampire hunter comedy. Jamie Foxx et al celebrate the well-worn tropes with fun and flair: daylight, fangs, wooden stakes, and killin’. LOTS of killin’. It’s an acceptable airplane movie that won’t really resonate, despite all the cool twists… of the contortionists.

Bullet Train

A lot of this is told in flashback - a chaotic, non-liner timeline like a little kid trying to tell a joke. Assassinations and heists gone wrong which lead-up to this point – a motley crew of quick-witted killers occupying an empty train and fighting over a shiny McGuffin. As a killer trying to rebrand himself as a non-killer, Brad Pitt is always best when he plays a doofus, and he delivers expertly as he brawls with the witty, witty, witty hostiles. Sometimes you wish they would shut up and get to the killin’. At times the physical comedy is hilarious, but it takes a while to get to that. It’s not suspenseful, so it behaves more as an escalating comedy; shallow but fun.

Prey

Surprisingly and refreshingly original take on the old Predator franchise. So, so, so many Native American/indigenous details. Who knows if it’s historically accurate. It feels accurate and authentic, thanks in much part to the performance of the lead Amber Midthunder. Her hatchet throwing, dog training, and general physicality bring a grounded baddassery to the proceedings when the battle with the big-bad begins. And one of the best dog performances in while. (I’m not sure how they did that.) This was a great summer movie. It should have been in theaters.

Lightyear

Whereas other Pixar movies focus on the emotion and relationships in times of crisis, Lightyear is primarily an action movie with some sentiment and poignancy injected in -- sometime sincerely and sometimes cynically. Of course the animation, the voice acting, and the music are all “stellar.” But it’s not a boo-hoo, make-me-cry kind of Pixar movie. Thoroughly entertaining, though, but not super-deep.

Nope

Someone needs to call me and explain this one to me. At its core, it’s a typical UFO yarn - trying to get a glimpse of the alien to find out what they want and maybe get a photo. It’s "Close Encounters." But Jordan Peele et al fill out scenes with so much distracting cuttiness and weirdness, you forget it’s just basically a Twilight Zone episode. Some of the distractions are cool. The horse farm location, for example. But other subplots are *bananas* and left me throwing up my hands in frustration. What. The. Hell? Still, a highly-ambitious story by a filmmaker who takes his sci-fi really seriously, and that’s appreciated. But I’m flummoxed. I’m going to need a power-point.

Kimi

“Wow them it the end.” It’s what the fake Robert McKee tells the fake Charlie Kaufman in the movie Adaptation. So this Covid-era, Blow-Up descendant starts out REALLY slow and boring. I almost bailed-out all together, but I was on an airplane, so what the Hell else was I going to do? Anyway, it builds well and unfolds expertly. Zoé Kravitz draws you in. And when Soderbergh and company finally reach the climax, it’s a hum-dinger and vindicates the opening draginess. A refreshing, perfectly entertaining airplane diversion.

The Gray Man

This is a huge but simple action movie. The good guys are good, the bad guys are bad, and everyone is a ninja. Individual action scenes can be surprisingly clever, in a "Loony Tunes" cartoony way. Car tires squeal. Guns bang. Lots of people explode and die. It’s a fun watch, even if it’s pretty calorically empty.

Ender's Game

Watched this 10-year-old sci-fi yarn on the plane. It's a teenage boy wet dream. Ender is the “chosen one” because he’s really good at video games. The military officers, Harrison Ford and Viola Davis (believe-it-or-not), throw a bunch of tests at him, which he passes with flying colors because he’s the chosen one. They watch him get bullied and then kick ass and say, “Excellent. He passed the bully test. He is the chosen one.” Everything is a secret test for this kid, but he’s an unstoppable video game nerd who takes NO crap from Harrison Ford. This teenager will lead a huge space army and he will save the world. Whoever wrote this fantasy justifying their video gaming and locker room torture might need a little therapy about their childhood. 

 

Thor: Love and Thunder

It’s not commonly known, but the ancient writers of the Norse sagas and myths were really snarky and would regularly ridicule the Gods as being vacuous dunderheads. It’s possible we’ll find out that these latest few Thor movies weren’t made by Taika Waititi and company, but instead secretly filmed by Loki as a playful burn. Nonetheless, there’s a lot of laughs, goofing on the gods. There’s a love story, too, that dips a toe into sincerity. I eagerly anticipate another super-serious, bombastic Shakespearean tragedy, a la Kenneth Branah. But for now, yuk it up!

Top Gun: Maverick

A lot of effort went into making this movie big and entertaining, and you have to appreciate that. Plot-wise, it’s interesting to follow a single mission from the early planning and training to its execution – and inevitable life-threatening complication. So, it’s a perfectly suitable piece of popular entertainment and desperate over-justification of military might. Beyond that, well, it’s not that surprising and it’s NOT Shakespeare. The preview for the next Mission Impossible movie was the best part.

(Afterthought: One of the funny bits in this is that there’s a guy named Bob and his nickname is just “Bob.” And everybody around seems sort of disappointed that he doesn’t have a badass nickname like “Jackhammer” or whatever. He’s just plain ol’ Bob.)

Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers

Why did I watch this? I’m not sure. I heard from a few people that it was “nutty” so I decided to have a look. And it turns out to be a throwback, Who Framed Roger Rabbit? homage made by the Lonely Island guys. It’s weird and mostly entertaining. It’s a barrage of pop culture and Hollywood references, some completely surreal and obscure. I’m not sure if little kids will get this -- it seems to be laser-guided to appeal to a specific generation of 90’s kids who watched too much TV and are currently high. Some gags are laugh-out-loud funny (i.e. “Aunt Man”) and some are more oblique and meta. What’s most noteworthy about the filmmakers is recognizing the legal/clearance team, which must have been massive and incredibly busy. The references are non-stop.

Downton Abbey: A New Era

It’s a big family. An ensemble cast. There’s lots of conflict, but they stick together. Fancy cars are involved. Many of the people are aging. It’s basically Fast and the Furious with tea instead of Red Bull. I don’t really follow the series so I’m not sure why it’s a big deal if Lady Featherbottom clashes with Lord Devonshire. An unfortunate requirement of this is knowing all the backstory (see also: Fast and the Furious). But, man! The cast is top-notch. The crew is varsity elite. The costumes, the hair, the sets, the props, the drone shots. The music. Everything is perfect. Those British made the hell out of this movie, even if I had little idea of what was going on.

The Greatest Showman

I’ve had several people recommend this to me over the years. It was free on the plane, so I decided to take a look. Production value is high and the cast is talented and diverse. Michelle Williams is way more talented than she deserves to be. All told, it’s an energetic and rousing musical biopic about PT Barnum. And HOLY FUCK is it hokey. Like face palm, cringy, hokey. Like… UGH! YIKES! I’m glad I watched it on the plane. I’m glad it was free.

Jungle Cruise

Holy crap this movie had some money. That’s all I could think about. How expensive was this?? It flopped, unfortunately. Mainly due to the pandemic. But it’s a likeable and lighthearted adventure filled with action. Dwayne Johnson is a capable, wise-cracking hero. Emily Blunt is perfect as the plucky scientist wearing pants. And there’s a nice turn from Jack Whitehall as the British ninny who gets to be a little deeper than most comic-relief scaredy-cats. Efforts to make this like Pirates of the Caribbean are transparent, so it’s not like it’s super original. But it’s fun enough. Disney should have re-released some of these pandemic victims when the world started to open up again. They deserve to be experienced on the big screen.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Finally watched this Ben Stiller vehicle, and it’s not bad. It’s all Ben all the time, overcoming obstacles, conquering his fears, and getting the girl. Funny cameos from some colorful characters and a funny bit from Sean Penn goofing on his own intensity keep it light, but also kind of inspiring.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

A sensory blast! An imaginative barn-burner from Sam Raimi et al. It’s great to see Raimi do his Raimi thing for large portions of it, too. Fantastic demons and apparitions and zombies are a welcome addition to the clean super-hero milieu. Also welcome is something that is not quite characteristic of these movies: a villain with a heartbreakingly personal motive; a super-hero-sized level of grief that feels painfully authentic. It’s too bad that you need to have an encyclopedic knowledge of the Marvel Universe to figure out what the hell is going on in these movies much of the time. But man, do they give you your money’s worth.

The Northman

Incredible. An ambitious and visionary saga, made with blistering dedication and detail. Yes, it’s violent. But no more than an episode of Game of Thrones. The violence cuts deep because of WHO is involved; family members killing each other, etc. The sound of the cold wind, the “splotch, splotch” of the feet through the mud, and the screams of the enslaved people make this an amazing, visceral experience. Massive kudos to the cast and the filmmakers for this fascinating, solid, and entertaining telling of a revenge parable that really captures a sense of how brutal life was in the olden times. A must-see in the theater.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

The wild thing about this is, Nicolas Cage is the straight man, dragged into misadventures. Pedro Pascal is the wacky, nutty, Nic Cage type of character. The other thing is, it isn’t really reliant on being Nic Cage as Nic Cage. It’s meta, but it’s not THAT meta. It could easily have been a fictitious actor. It’s an extremely light and fun action comedy. Not always laugh-out-loud funny, but clever and amusing. A worthy distraction.

Tony Hawk: Until the Wheels Fall Off

Tony falls down a lot. Tony’s childhood was hard. Tony’s relationships were hard. Tony’s relationship with his severely disabled mother is hard. Getting to skate competitions was hard. Being booed was hard. Getting famous was hard. Getting rich was hard. Partying with the rich and famous was hard. Being addicted to prescription pain killers was hard. Being married four times was hard. Falling down and breaking many important bones was hard. Spinning 900 degrees in the air on a skateboard was hard. Getting older is hard. Tony’s life is HARD. Nope. No glamour or wealth at all. Nope. Just pain for Tony. Life was hard for Tony.

Everything Everywhere All at Once

** SPOILERS EVERYWHERE **

As much as busy mom and business owner Evelyn Wang tries to be the master of her domain, things are crumbling around her. She’s being audited by the IRS, her elderly, judgmental father is visiting from China, her meek husband isn’t happy, and her gay daughter is aggressively pushing away because traditional Evelyn doesn’t get her. This seems like a difficult but typical set of problems. And here’s where it gets complicated. According to a messenger from another realm, to combat these problems and also save multiple universes, she must learn Kung Fu and a variety of other skills from her other parallel lives to battle the creeps who prevent her from… connecting with her daughter. Do I have that right? 

 It’s a fantastic explosion of creativity. To watch it is a crazy experience, with a barrage of ideas, impossible to process all at once. But Kung Fu isn’t just Kung Fu. It’s a metaphor for battling your own demons and prejudices, and the courage to leap into other parts of your psyche to get to the core of who you wanted to be versus who you are. In her lifetime, Michelle Yeoh could not have asked for a better role. The rest of the cast is great, too, including a terrific, juicy part for Hollywood treasure James Hong and the welcome return of Ke Huy Quan. To write about this movie is to undermine it -- it’s so full of emotion and surprises. 

I love movies like this, made by people who love movies for people who love movies, that achieve great Kung Fu leaps in the art of storytelling, entertaining, and also pushing the limits of the imagination. The big, big, big point is: it wouldn’t work if it wasn’t fun.

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

There are a lot of characters and a lot of creatures and a lot of action happens off-screen. There’s a lot of expository dialogue in important-looking, old rooms. It’s a hodgepodge of special effects and wizard politics. I should’ve read the book first.

The Bubble

It seems certain that they barely had a script when they started this, and they thought they would just wing it, or rewrite it during quarantine. It’s hard to imagine what it would be like sitting on a film crew, all masked up, and shooting people goofing off, pretending to exercise, and pretending to be on drugs. I guess you’d be grateful to be working during the pandemic. The flying dinosaur effects team was probably thrilled – the effects are way better than this movie deserves. Nevertheless, key members of the cast give it their all and manage to squeeze a few laughs and a few pathos out of this. It’s rarely painful, it’s just stale. It’s not really a great satire of film crews or filmmaking. The best comedy comes from the scenes of isolation, and the desperateness to, as an actor must, be showered with attention.

King Richard

Will Smith will probably win an Oscar for this very, very, very inspirational sports movie about winners who win lots of things. No matter how elaborate the tennis training montages are, it’s not suspenseful. We know what happens. The Williams sisters win lots of stuff. The tricky part here is depicting them as underdogs. The filmmakers only partially succeed at this, because, I mean, we know what happens, right? Except for the parts we don’t know, like Richard Williams getting his gun from work and heading out to seek revenge… Is this true? Did he seek out violence? Or is this a Hollywood embellishment? As a piece of inspiration, especially for kids thinking about taking up tennis, it hits all the right inspirational notes. It’s the Karate Kid of tennis movies. Wax on, wax off, etc. But they're not really underdogs.

West Side Story

The first half of this is breathtaking, flawless, Spielberg-ian filmmaking. Spectacular, technically perfect, and fueled with pure energy. The camera moves are awe-inspiring. The problem with this movie is (spoiler alert): it’s still "Romeo and Juliet." It’s still a tragedy. Everything falls apart and everybody dies. So, it’s kind of a downer. Spielberg et al linger on these sullen moments, milking them too much. Despite the exemplary production, the overall experience isn’t a joyful one. It’s not the movie’s fault. Blame Shakespeare.

The Mitchells vs the Machines

Glowing, gorgeous animation paints this frenetic take of a dysfunctional (but actually, very functional) nuclear family during the robot apocalypse. The stick-together family theme sometimes gets lost underneath the blast of lights and colors, but it’s top-notch cartoon sci-fi.

CODA

A well-acted and straight-forward weepy about a child of deaf parents who discovers her gift for music. Lots of details about deaf culture and commercial fishing make this fresh and interesting. The filmmaking feels intentionally plain, to leave room for all of the important acting and crying. So, it’s packed with emotion; it’s rich with themes about growing up and rites of passage which is good, even though some of it is low-hanging fruit. Will very likely win some Oscars.

The Adam Project

Ryan Reynolds leans in to his tough-guy wisecrackery in this sentimental, time-travel family yarn directed by his buddy Shawn Levy. Something about this movie feels unfinished - like it was made for theaters, but it couldn’t QUITE get over the finish line, so they sold it to Netflix. It feels too expensive for Netflix, but also dramatically pretty light. Nice enough, but not memorable.

Studio 666

Such a goof by Foo Fighters. So Scooby-Doo. A haunted house. A secret book of incantations. Some rock and roll and some hilarious beheadings. Some below-average acting by some rock and rollers. It feels like the kind of movie the Monkees would make if they were around today - directed by John Waters. Very much the tone and feeling of an art-house midnight movie from the 80s.

The Hard Way

Michael Jai White is a solid, sturdy leading man in this well-paced, low-budget actioner from Keoni Waxman. Asses get kicked.

The Batman

Skillfully made, but this did not reinvent the Batman wheel. Certain supervillains have omnipotent power, which is fine if they’re gods or mutants or whatever. But an ordinary dude orchestrating a highly-involved plan to bring down a city, by themselves, seems unlikely. And the evil motive here seems spotty. Efforts to make Batman an actual crime-solver with detective skills are welcome, but sometimes feel over-shadowed by the gothic razzle-dazzle. Still, A+ technique and strong performances make this highly watchable. There are beautiful, memorable compositions. Unfortunately, it sometimes feels like a re-run of the many, many other pop-culture Batman things.

Belfast

Kenneth Branagh’s hands are all over this -- the personal story, the acting, the Van Morrison, the black-and-white -- even the drawn-out snippets of daily life which, at times seem incongruous, but imperatively inform the tone. Early on, it’s unclear exactly what that tone will be. But as we watch the kid’s safety gradually deteriorate, we realize (after the fact) that Buddy and his family have passed the point of no return and somebody’s going to wind up dead if they don’t bail out of Belfast like wild banshees. That realization for the characters and the audience is grim and all too real. “Don’t look back,” Judi Dench's Granny utters ironically under her breath at the end. That’s exactly what Branagh’s doing here: looking back at how it all went down, in the movie that will probably win Best Picture.

The Eyes of Tammy Faye

There’s nothing WRONG with this movie. It’s just that there’s no likeable people in it. Everyone is a scumbag. Jessica Chastain affects every tiny little detail about Tammy Fay Baker – her walk, her laugh. Her makeup is perfect. And MY GOD is she annoying. It’s a real challenge to take a famous religious weirdo and try to flesh them out and make them seem sympathetic. So, kudos for trying. But blecch.

The Tragedy of Macbeth

This is kind of a bummer. Yes. I know: The play is a bummer. And it’s a tragedy -- it says so right in the title. But with the famously obtuse text, there has to be something grounding to bring you in. Movie stars help. But the sets are so foreign and minimalist and the costumes are enigmatic. The entire presentation seems determined to alienate the audience (I'm thankful for the very Coen Brothery respite from Stephen Root). I’m sure the plan was for the sets to “look cool.” But they end up hurting more than helping. There’s nothing relatable in this at all. There’s nothing to connect to. There's no furniture. It’s an Ingmar Bergman film without a Max von Sydow. It’s beautifully, perfectly made. Certain imagery is awesome. It pains me to say it, but this lacks heart.

The Last Duel

The ads for this made it look so stupid. Matt Damon’s dumb mullet. Ben Affleck’s bad, blonde mop. Just the hair alone made it look terrible. So my expectations were pretty low. But low and behold, this was tight, interesting, and poignant. A delicate, thought-provoking take on a moment in history that I would have never known. Sir Ridley brings the production value, that’s for sure, but he never lingers. In a Rashomon style, it’s told from three different points-of-view and every detail matters as the conflict escalates. You would never know the running time is long – it moves. Strangely, it’s a chore to pick this over other movie choices – the always crucial selection of the night’s entertainment. It seems long. It seems heavy. It seems rapey. But it’s a quality thing. Performances are solid. The plot is comprehensive and compelling. Wielded swords stab vigorously. It’s a nice yarn. But! Big, big, big BUT, there’s are themes, too. Themes about women, themes about dumb/ bickering men, and themes about marriage that hold up a mirror to our modern times.

Doug's Favorite Movies of 2021

Nobody

Dune 

Belfast

Licorice Pizza 

The French Dispatch 

The Sparks Brothers 

Free Guy 

Summer of Soul 

Honorable Mention: 

The Last Duel 

Bo Burnham Inside 

Mulan

The King's Man

Downton Abbey meets The Suicide Squad. Ralph Fiennes, 59, dresses nicely, carries an umbrella, and kicks everyone’s ass in this enjoyable but sometimes weird, spy-tastic action movie. British people, as we all know, are superior, and manage to maintain their composure despite fighting some of the weirdest, non-British creeps and perverts one can imagine. Tea will be required! Lengthy segments in the trenches of World War I are brutal but breathtakingly filmed. Filmmakers dodge numerous war-movie tropes to render fresh, unyielding, and creative ass-kickery keeping your adrenaline jumpy and jolty. It’s long, and sometimes the pacing feels off. But heads roll, so you can’t ask for much more.

Don't Look Up

“Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.” Adam McKay and his cast of A-listers swing for the fences in this super-duper pointy sharp satire of media culture in a time of worldwide disaster. The premise is worthy and the attitude is poignant. Efforts to goof on specific people sometimes tank, like Mark Rylance’s over-cooked, narcissistic billionaire. The plot and story are distracted by the personal relationships and marital affairs, which seem pointless and dull compared to the comet hurling towards Earth, but maybe that’s the point. This mines laughs as much as it bombs, but it gets an “A” for trying; and taking the piss out of us for being so apathetic. I wonder: was Dr. Strangelove considered so implausible at the time?

Being the Ricardos

Nicole is good here as Lucille Ball, but not so much as Lucy McGillicuddy-Ricardo. Javier Bardem, as much of a pro as he is, is completely miscast. Desi could smile! He could sing and dance! The Hollywood story and setting is fascinating; a worthy tale told expertly by Aaron Sorkin about a dark period in Hollywood history. It really didn’t need the flashbacks or the flash forwards, which just gum up the main story. It’s worthwhile as an interesting history, but it’s not mind-blowingly revelatory otherwise.

The Matrix Resurrections

I definitely need to watch this again. It’s a lot to process. Trinity and Neo are ordinary folks in this. Not super-cool, monotone, sunglass-wearing, gun-foo ninjas. But ordinary schlubs. But Neo knows something is amiss. His life in the Matrix is filled with dreams and glitches. Efforts to make this snarky and media savvy yield mixed results. Some of it’s fun, but some of it’s… oblique. Neil Patrick Harris throws out a lot of curve-balls as a manipulative therapist, but who is he really? The architect? Could somebody please call me and explain. The fighting and chasing is, as always, top notch. Images of brainwashed citizens falling from the sky, leaping to their deaths, are terrifying. And the love story between Trinity and Neo is still sweet and solid. But my brain needs a little more resolution than this story provides.

Nightmare Alley

Part carny nightmare and part noir nihilism, the colors and designs of this jump off the screen. It’s beautiful. Every frame is a perfect composition. But the story is a drag. There’s very few heroes and no redemption of any kind. That’s the way the noirs go, I suppose. This will get lost in film history, I think. There’s nothing uplifting at all, unlike The Shape of Water, despite the explosion of technique.

The Matrix Revolutions

A lot more Jesus-y in this final chapter. For some reason, Neo must kung fu with Agent Smith a lot in the Matrix to save Zion, to the point where he must make a “pact” with “the machines” to destroy Agent Smith in a Karate fight, because? If we’re completely baffled by the plot, then the gun-foo will be less suspenseful. It won’t matter who wins and who loses. There’s too much woo-woo philosophy and computer programming analogies in this, and it’s entirely possible to just get lost. The visuals are still stunning, but the fun is less fun.

Matrix: Reloaded

A lot more time and a lot more money yield a lot more bang-bang-bang for your buck. All of the philosophical blah-blah-blah and all of the rules muddy the simple fact that this is a rescue movie. Rescue the dude with the key. The “Zion” scenes are actually boring, and only fill in the back-story, which is ironically in the future. You often wish the Wachowskis would just cut to the “gun foo.” Eventually they do with beautifully directed and edited action sequences, massive in scope. It’s satisfying, but it takes way too long to reveal that like most movies, it was always a love story.

Spider-Man: No Way Home

** SPOILER-MAN **

It’s a game of superhero “top this.” Cram in all the heroes and all of the villains from all of the movies in an enormous super-powered Altman movie. It’s all about multi-dimensional entrances. Who will swing in next? It’s like an acrobatic Dean Martin Celebrity Roast. It’s fun, action-packed, long, and emotional. It fills your eyeballs with so much information that there’s no possibility of realizing what’s missing from the mix. Women, for example. They couldn’t at least dust-off Elizabeth Banks? For the ticket price, you couldn’t get more bang for your buck. It’s a hoot watching the multi-verse escapees banter about; comparing notes, etc. Of course, all of this was done already in the superior, animated Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, not that it’s a competition. All spider-people are welcome.

Eternals

The Eternals are the “bizarro” Avengers. They’re not human, they’re not interesting, they’re not funny, they’re not on Earth to help humanity, and they rarely take action when needed. Mostly, they stand in a circle, or sometimes a half circle facing the camera, and they discuss what they should do next to stop the monsters that are coming out of the ground for some reason. And although they’re not allowed to care about humans for some reason, they have to stop the monsters that are killing the humans for some reason. But they’re diverse, which is nice. Gemma Chan tries her best to remain stoic as the group leader, and Kumail Nanjiani dances as fast as he can as the comic relief. Angelina Jolie, a big movie star, has almost nothing to do. One wonders, when they’re standing in a half circle deciding what to do, why they don’t ask the big movie star. The big movie star ALWAYS knows what to do. But she’s kinda checked out, standing there in her pretty costume and her pretty hair, and just thinking about other stuff. As they’re fighting supernatural forces, there’s a goofy, middle-aged, Bollywood videographer following them around. He’s, like, the MAN. I want to know about HIM.

Ms. 45

Early Abel Ferrara movie in which an alluring, young, mute woman gets raped one too many times and decides to “open up a can.” A fascinating, timeless performance from Zoe Lund. Otherwise a pretty cheap and dated revenge yarn.

Night of the Juggler

A ranting psycho kidnaps James Brolin’s daughter and he “ex-cops” his way through the shitty neighborhoods of New York to find her. It’s pretty hammy, and has the production values of a CHIPS episode. Nevertheless, it’s got a recognizable cast of 80s-era tough guys and a nice turn from Julie Carmen. Suffice it to say: it ain’t Shakespeare and the title is terrible.

Licorice Pizza

Licorice Pizza has a secret. It’s always there, like a ghost lurking in the shadows and in the periphery. It informs every second and every frame of the movie. And every once in a while, PT Anderson et al show you the secret for a NANOSECOND, and then happily and skillfully steer you away to another episode of frivolity, during which the main kids, muy autentica, try as hard as they can NOT to fall in love. It’s a real struggle! And on 70mm film, it’s beautiful. It’s a sugary-sweet time-capsule about a magical world where age and maturity and “dateable readiness” is fluid. It’s almost impossible to view this from a modern-day, “me too” lens, and I don’t recommend you do, because it might be a little problematic. The movie tries to trick you into putting away your modern-day sensibilities and bask in the warm glow of a magic hour in the summer of 1974, when pinball machines became legal again and when the girls and the guys fell in love. It works, if you try not to think about that secret.

The House of Gucci

The characters in The House of Gucci say the word “Gucci” a lot. Lady Gaga, who’s pretty good as a Gucci, probably says Gucci the most. Adam Driver, who plays another Gucci, is probably the second most frequent Gucci character to say Gucci. But other Guccis say Gucci a lot, too. Like the Gucci played by Al Pacino. Or the Gucci-ing Gucci played by Jeremy Irons. Jared Leto, who plays the Gucciest Gucci, waves his arms and hands around a lot when he says Gucci. Leto is so Gucci that he’s the GUCCI Gucci. He Guccis way more than other Guccis, which is a lot of Gucci, let me tell ya. It’s hard to know how much of this Gucci movie is based on the real Guccis, versus the Gucci dramatic license of the Guccis and Gucci. The bottom line is: Guccis Gucci. And when Guccis Gucci, other Guccis Gucci in reply. It’s a Gucci-off. Who will be the greatest Gucci??  There’s a lot of Gucci-ing in The House of Gucci. Sir Ridley reveals all things Gucci with Gucci aplomb. Gucci Gucci, Gucci Gucci.

Spencer

 😐🤢🤮

The Power of the Dog

**  SPOILERS **

I wanted to like this Jane Campion, dusty cowboy melodrama a lot more than I did. It has everything going for it. A great cast, beautiful scenery, top-notch sets and designs. I regret to say it, but there were several times during the show that I thought, “Why am I watching this?” My back started to hurt, which is always a bad sign. It’s one of those movies where the main character has a secret. If you’re paying attention, you can figure out the secret, but otherwise you’re waiting for the character to reveal the secret. And it takes a while. I think this kind of story convention works better in a novel. Lots of people, better than I am, will probably like this. But I just found it shrug-worthy.

Reds

I’m sure at the time Warren Beatty was praised for putting on a big David Lean-like epic with all the trains and extras and running time that involves. He bit off a lot here and you have to admire him for that. But it feels kind of pointless and sad. Very 70’s, although released in ’81. The interviews with the real people reminiscing was probably very groundbreaking at the time, but it doesn’t really reveal that much about the subjects, who seem epically misguided.

The French Dispatch

Wes Anderson and a cast of thousands goof off in this very goofy tribute to a goofy newspaper in France in the olden days. Everything is goofy. The clothes are goofy, the hair is goofy, the performances are goofy. It's perfectly, immaculately filmed goofiness. Everyone is goofing off and it looks like they had a great time. We laughed all the way through this as Wes Anderson et al, more than anything, take the piss out of themselves and their goofy personas.

Dune

If you really want to distill this down into a basic premise, it would be, “A dude goes on an adventure with his Mom.” But filmmakers bring care and technique to every aspect of this. It’s beautiful. Denis Villeneuve et al go full HAM on the world-building, and it often feels like you’ve started the movie in the middle and you have to catch up. Seeing it twice is almost required, just to figure out the rules and who everybody is. And by everybody, I mean a cast filled with international stars and various superheroes. It’s A-list, and there’s no bad performance. Above all else, I appreciate filmmakers who love movies, and regard the artform with unalloyed enthusiasm. It’s a joy to behold in IMAX, despite the book-to-movie adaptation vagueness. Maybe catch it again on HBO to clear up any confusions? I expect there will be lots and lots of kudos. Also, it’s only a first chapter. We know who the hero is, soon we get to find out what he wants.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings

By far the most remarkable aspect of this is how UN-remarkable the heroes are, at least at first. They’re not rich, they’re not radioactive, they’re not gods. The story is centered around two people who are… average Schmoes working as valet parkers. Problems at home, money issues, getting motivated issues. Ordinary people stuff. Simu Liu and Awkwafina (aka Nora Lum) nail this… “average-ness” and their surprise at the supernatural superhero shit that unfolds seems pretty genuine. Although the plot and story are meant to be a Marvel superhero origin story, the conventions are more in tune with Kung Fu movies and the traditions and tropes therein. Think: dragons. It’s fun and action-packed; light on emotion but big in vision.

No Time to Die

** SPOILER ALERT!! **

After a lengthy prologue that doesn’t involve James Bond, you start to realize that maybe this movie isn’t really about James Bond. He loses his job, he loses his 00 status, he loses his best friend, and he ends up being a lonely fisherman while the world continues on around him. Moments of this, like a sequence in Cuba with Ana deArmas, are exhilarating, vintage Bond kickassery. But by the middle, it’s a grounded, non-fantastic family drama that could easily be described as a big-budget Lifetime movie – a deadbeat dad trying to make good. The filmmakers do not pander and are not determined to entertain, at least not in a fun, “popcorn” way. It pains me to say this, but this is not that enjoyable of a movie. Sure, it’s action-packed and well-filmed, but it tries to cram in 60 years worth of womanizing Bond redemption into its final act, and it’s forced and clumsy. More martinis, please. Shaken... etc.

Army of the Dead

Not to nitpick, but the zombies in Army of the Dead aren’t really zombies in the traditional sense. They’re Resident Evil zombies if you had to give them a label. They're poisoned. They’re fast. They’re organized. But they also feel love? Zombies are never supposed to be the villain. Zombies can be the problem, but zombie parables are supposed to be about how humans treat each other during the zombie apocalypse. There’s a little of that here. But there’s WAY, WAY too much of the inner-life of the zombies. The love-lives and families and politics of zombies. It’s all pretty boring. But this I’ve always said: Zach Snyder loves movies. The guy can make the hell out of an opening credit sequence. He loves fire, heroes leaping through the air, and crashing vehicles. He basks in the warm satisfaction of an adrenaline-fueled action sequence. He doesn’t care if his movies are way too long, or if they make sense. He has an admirable devotion to mayhem. He just needs to respect our time a little more, and wrap things up. We have shit to do; daily tasks to try and prevent the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

The Mummy

Weird, weird, weird. Clearly made by committee. Clearly meant to be a “launch” of a now defunct franchise. Cruise is so clearly a hired gun. And it just all feels like an expensive rehash. That being said, sequences are exciting. Lives are at stake. Monsters monster. And as tough as it is to be the damsel opposite Cruise and his couch-jumping energy, Annabelle Wallis manages to keep up without humiliating herself, which deserves kudos. It could have been good. They had everything they needed.

Kate

I barely remember this movie. I think I thought it was fine. There was a kick-ass karate lady, lots of gun-fu, and maybe a kid was involved? The title is way too generic. I think it should foretell some level of ass-kicking. Plus, I'm getting it mixed up with the many other gun-fu women of late. Anyway, A for effort for all the Mary Elizabeth Winstead, female-lead ass-kickery. But I’ll be damned if I can remember any details.

Reminiscence

I always appreciate some sci-fi that isn’t all about chasing and disasters. I admire the stories that delve into time travel, changing the past, and the nature of memory. So, it’s ambitious. But it might be too clever for its own good. The sci-fi components aim to confuse, while the romantic love-story components play-out a little repetitive and schmaltzy. It’s slick. It’s kind of cool. It’s not a disaster. But it might remind you of better movies that you would rather be watching.

Free Guy

Shawn Levy is Hollywood’s version of the Hometown Buffet. He does everything. Just as famous as a Producer as he is a director, he’s made plenty of fluffy comedy adventures, all of which seem to be practice for this: one of the best movies this summer. It’s formulaic all the way -- it’s supposed to be. It’s filled with Easter eggs; countless references to the movies and games of the past. So, it’s derivative down to its DNA, but it’s also an original screenplay, which is wild. And Ryan Reynolds' snarky attitude works perfectly for a character who’s trying to learn to be human. So it’s a Smörgåsbord, and almost every frame is a delight. It probably won’t resonate, it’s just a little too featherweight. But man, it’s a fun night at the movies.

Tag

They say it’s based on a true story. And it’s a pretty “high-concept” comedy. Efforts are made to ramp up excitement by turning “tags” into action scenes. And there’s a schmaltzy, sentimental, male-bonding component, too, which includes a nice turn from Ed Helms. But it’s all for naught. There’s a messiness. A lack of rules. A lack of focus. Just because stories are “true” doesn’t mean they’re structured and shaped the way movies are. They get an “A” for effort here, but a C- for execution.

Venom

I thought Venom was supposed to be a Spider-man villain. But this makes Tom Hardy’s alien alter-ego a misbehaving anti-hero, bringing down a power-hungry megalomaniac with the same powers. It’s sometimes fun, and sometimes funny, but I don’t know how they’re going to pit him against Spidey if he’s all sympathetic and stuff. Standalone it’s fine, but it feels like a misfire of the “canon.”

American Pickle

The entire point of American Pickle is for Seth Rogen to banter and riff with an old Jewish version of himself. It’s an admirable shtick with technological chutzpah, but the plot is bupkis. So, meh.

Superintelligence

A perfectly pleasant but kind of dull airplane movie. Melissa McCarthy and Bobby Cannavale have an easy rapport. The stakes for a comedy are pretty high. McCarthy’s character only has to save the world in this winky, War Games scenario that pits her against a sentient, blood-thirsty AI played by James Corden. It must be watched on a plane. No other venue will be suitable.

Gunpowder Milkshake

Another hit-man/hit-woman movie. There have been SO MANY movies like this lately -- The reluctant assassin. This is fun to watch and the cast is great, mainly because of Karen Gillan, who’s been solid in ensembles, and now gets to be a leading lady. Or bleeding lady. They didn’t really reinvent the action movie wheel here. It respectfully borrows from Atomic Blonde and others. It’s just a visceral rush with lots of girl-based “gun-fu.”

Nobody

I thoroughly enjoyed and highly recommend this meditation on emasculated, middle-aged dads. It’s well-written, well-filmed, well-acted, and really violent. It descends into a big gun battle at the end, which is unfortunate and a little anti-climactic. The bruising, painful, brawls in the middle are where you get your money’s worth. Bob Odenkirk et al deliver the goods here – a balls-out, full-HAM action movie, that peppers in a tiny, but very welcome bit of social satire. So far one of my favorite movies of the year.

The Suicide Squad

Moments of this are brilliant. Perverse, comedic, and deranged. I couldn’t really tell you what the plot is. But there’s a battle with a big-bad at the end, and some of the characters survive. James Gunn loves moves, surprises, and perverse physical comedy – the goopier the better. It’s a circus, and it deliberately juxtaposes the super-serious DC Batman and Joker movies some of which could maybe use a little more Gunn.

Jolt

Kate Beckensale stars in this Amazon release about a hit-woman with rage issues. While she’s skillful at the Jason Bourne/human weapon schtick, efforts to make this on a low budget and turn it into a John Wick-type sequel universe fall short.

Snake Eyes

Nicolas Cage plays an Atlantic City cop trying to solve a murder during a boxing match, as Brian DePalma and Cage both jerk the audience… Wait. Wait. Wrong Snake Eyes… 

 2021 Snake Eyes, based on the G.I. Joe character, unfolds like a conventional Samurai/Karate movie. Avenging a father’s death. Infiltrating a Yakuza crime family. Passing a few crazy Ninja tests. There’s a family dynasty. There’s a sentimental sword. There’s a magic amulet that gives you super powers. There’s a requisite car chase. There’s a fair amount of karate fighting. There’s a bad-ass grandma in a kimono. Henry "Crazy Rich Asians" Golding does a good job and keeps his character grounded in what is otherwise a pretty trope-filled b-movie. But because it’s based on a toy line, it can’t really be that violent, so there aren’t nearly as many beheadings as I would like. You can’t win ‘em all…

Black Widow

The entire thing… The ENTIRE POINT of this movie is for Scarlett Johansson/Black Widow to hand off ass-kicking duties to new ass-kicker Florence Pugh. Because it’s a prequel and everyone knows Black Widow’s going to die later, so the stakes aren’t really life and death in this. The acting here is all pretty good. The skilled cast slums it a little in this interim narrative, a rough metaphor about sex trafficking. Otherwise, it’s kind of a bland story. Black Widow deserved her own side-story before she was dead, so she could have a little more skin in the game. But juggling the schedules of all these supers in Marvel World can’t be easy.

No Sudden Move

Take out a legal pad and get ready to take notes. Because it’s a crime noir, and they’re talking fast and they’re dropping names of crime bosses and various goons like lightning and it’s hard to keep track of everybody. When the double-crosses start, of which there are many, you’re going to need a reference sheet. Still, sharp, top-notch acting all around from a great cast moving things along at an aggressively clippy pace. To move quickly, I suppose, or for some other artistic reasons, Soderberg uses the same lens for the entire movie. A wide-angle so wide there’s a vignette effect on the whole show. Mostly this is cool, and creates a visual consistency in the complicated plot. But it occasionally distorts things on the side of the frame, which can be goofy and disorienting. But those are the sacrifices to make for speed, baby!

Midnight Sky

George has learned a thing or two from the directors of his previous space movies (Gravity, Solaris) and has assembled a thoughtful, contemplative sci-fi cautionary tale about the end of the world. So, yeah it’s nihilistic. And it’s pretty slow at times. But the acting is great all around, the sets are cool, and the music by Alexandre Desplat is stunning and heartbreaking. But I can’t really recommend this because it’s just so fucking sad.

The Sparks Brothers

This great, loving doc about the band Sparks achieves everything it aspires to. It teaches dummies like me that it was more than just a new wave band in the 80s with a few hits. It entertains. It educates. And it explores a deep love and partnership between brothers who, for some cosmic reason, have similar artistic goals. Highly recommended. Kudos to Edgar Wright, et al.

Bo Burnham Inside

Is this a movie? I’m not sure. But it’s really interesting to see how the filmmaker uses limited space and no crew (but unlimited gear, apparently) to weave together an essay about pandemic loneliness and online identity crises. Not always funny, but really creative and worth watching.

Summer of Soul

The myth of the found footage has always piqued the imaginations of movie nerds and historians. It’s used here as a marketing tool, effectively creating intrigue. But the footage was never LOST, right? Somebody suddenly found interest in it – in this case Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson. Editors and colorists do a great job of reviving and trimming this concert series -- a time capsule to 1969 and black culture, and a really entertaining music doc.

Raising Arizona

According to the rules of the weblog, Raising Arizona would never be logged unless I saw it on the big screen. But since the lockdown, the guidelines have been relaxed. It continues to delight and amaze. Knowing so much more about film production than I used to, I still wonder how they did some of it. Definitely one of my ALL TIME favorite movies.

F9: The Fast Saga

I remember being a little kid and delighting in amazement when James Bond’s car turned into a submarine in The Spy Who Loved Me. He drives up on the beach, rolls down his window, and drops a fish out. As a kid, I never asked, “How did the fish get in the car? It’s air tight! The sub would have sank if a fish could get in!” 

Suspension of disbelief is a double negative. It doesn’t work unless there’s something positive to focus on. Preferably something bright and shiny and flying through the air. Preferably something automotive. Dan Casey and the thousands of filmmakers and technicians of F9 understand this and proceed with unbridled, preposterous glee. Sit back, sip your beer, eat your popcorn, and marvel at the excess.

The Fate of the Furious

Jason Statham fares best here, as usual, doing that John Woo/Hard Boiled thing on an airplane rescuing Dom’s baby as he kills no less than 30 dudes. Otherwise, Dom’s baby?? Off screen, Dom actually fell in love? With a woman? And had a baby?? It’s becoming a nitrous-oxide-fueled soap opera with a cast of hundreds. It’s like Game of Thrones – you need a facebook to keep track of everybody. And there’s no sign that this franchise is slowing down. I’m looking forward to the arrival of evil twins. 

 

The Hitman's Bodyguard

As Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson sit safely in their green-screen, car-driving soundstage and crack wise, an enormous stunt team schleps around mainland Europe shutting down entire cities and shooting massive, scorched-Earth chase sequences for our viewing pleasure. I’m in awe of the logistics. The story is only so-so.

Cruella

Still in pandemic mode, Disney+ releases what was obviously meant to be a big, theatrical release as an on-demand video. All the visuals are spectacular and it’s too bad a lot of people (like us) weren’t able to see this on the big screen. I’m still grateful to have seen it. I wonder if Disney should re-release some of these Disney+ movies in theaters at some point? They deserve the big theater experience.

Shoplifters of the World Unite

Fun, partially true story about an emo, new wave kid who forces a Denver DJ at gunpoint to play nothing but The Smiths for hours. But watching a movie that depicts Denver in 1987, but was filmed in New York, can be frustrating. Details that a local would love to see were missing. Still, an excellent soundtrack.

Fast and Furious: Hobbs and Shaw

It’s a contrast of ass-kickers. Hobbs, who is big, kicks ass one way, while Shaw, who is more compact, kicks ass a different way. Every single scene in the movie works overtime to point out that Jason Statham and Dwayne Johnson are physically different, and therefore have juxtaposed ass-kicking styles. So, replace the car racing with straight-forward ass-kicking and it’s a whole new enchilada. Also, it’s kind of Britishy. Some British ass-kickyness is featured to class-up the place.

Gemini Man

Ang Lee can’t seem to make a movie without diving into some technologically impossible boondoggle. He loves to bite off more than he can chew, whether it’s a visual effect, a stunt, a period costume, or some kind of new high-tech camera. When he’s successful, it’s often amazing and it doesn’t distract. And he’s willing to take those risks. This one distracts. While the effect is still pretty amazing, young Will Smith’s mouth still looks weird when he talks. And when he fights himself, it goes on WAY too long. So, it’s hard to concentrate and get into the story. It’s hard to care about the characters. You’re always trying to bridge the uncanny valley. Otherwise, it’s a perfectly entertaining, action-packed, sci-fi yarn – as long as nobody talks.

Mulan

Tropes and conventions, probably used for hundreds of years in the Beijing Opera, garner a reverent new spin thanks to director Niki Caro and the many thousands of technicians and millions of dollars behind this movie. Moments of this are sensational; pristine shots of breathtaking landscape, impeccable costumes, and meticulous make-up design. The pro-empire script is nothing to write home about and the acting is par for an epic like this. But there’s TECHNIQUE galore in this that’s so impressive. Did Disney give them more time? Did Disney give them more money? What was it that made this different? Unless you're an 8-year-old girl, it’s not a very emotional film, but that doesn’t really matter if you’re marveling at the compositions. 

Also: Because of Covid, this came out on video, which is an understandable business decision.  But Disney should think about re-releasing this on the big screen. It deserves a movie theater treatment.

Wrath of Man

In the first few minutes of this Jason Statham/Guy Richie reunion, you’ll notice things sound a little different. There are efforts all around to affect a modern-day version of a film-noir, crime drama, tough-guy dialogue delivery -- a vernacular trying too hard to be Shane Black or Tarantino. It sounds weird and it’s distracting. Thankfully, most of the movie unfolds in flashbacks, so those characters and that style disappears and the editor takes over the storytelling. If it were told in a linear fashion, there would be nothing new about this at all. But the gerrymandered story structure manages to build some suspense until the inevitable Heat-inspired, bullet-riddled conclusion. It’s always a kick to see Jason Statham doing his whispery, soccer-hooligan thing. But for the most part this is old hat. 

It’s notable that this is the first movie I’ve seen in a movie theater since the pandemic started, so about a year and a half. I’m glad to be back. 

Motherless Brooklyn

A hard-boiled noir about a tough-talking P.I. with Tourette’s Syndrome. Ed Norton directed the HELL out of this, and the worst part of it, the only bad part really, is the fact that the main character has Tourette’s. It feels so acty-schmackty and forced. Otherwise, this gumshoe crime drama is solid. It’s long, but that’s okay. It’s really well-shot and well-acted by the ensemble of famous, aging, tough guys. The locations are great. One wonders how the movie would be if the character DIDN’T have Tourette’s, which defeats the whole purpose I think.

Thunder Force

Could have been funnier. The general conceit, that two sort of heavy ladies become superheroes, has potential. But Melissa McCarthy’s character, the tough-talking teamster type, relies on crassness and pratfalls for humor, which gets old. It rebounds a little when Jason Bateman enters with some deadpan surrealism. Otherwise, it’s a lazy goof on superhero movies and is only sporadically funny.

News of the World

It’s a tried and true, through-and-through Western. There’s good guys and bad guys. There’s an orphan in trouble. There’s a land grab. There’s Indians. There’re gunfights. There’s a runaway wagon. It checks all the “western” boxes and succeeds in entertaining, despite all of the conventions. I mean: it’s Hanks. It’s gotta be at least decent, right?

Justice League: The Snyder Cut

This long-awaited opus runs about four hours, but is never boring, thanks to the clippy action and sagacious plot. With the subtlety of a flying brick, it hammers in Zach Snyder’s humorless, operatic version and does everything to erase the Joss Whedon version. There were things about Joss’s version that I liked. The Danny Elfman music, the occasional light-heartedness, and, believe it or not, Affleck’s performance as Batman. It’s not that this version is better or worse, it’s just different. Once you mentally prepare yourself for the four-hour running time, it’s never dull, even though the story is almost incomprehensible. Apparently, there’s a horned-demon who’s in trouble with his boss for not conquering enough worlds, and he needs to step-up his game. So, he hastily rushes into conquering Earth, not delving into the volumes and volumes of comic-book research chronicling that Earth’s mightiest heroes can and will kick his ass. It’s admirable and clear that Zach Snyder and his team love movies. They love heroes, they love visuals, they love action. But they’re trying TOO hard to impress. There’s no real point in criticizing a film for being bloated and self-indulgent. What’s the alternative? Especially if it’s exactly what the audience asked for?

Coming 2 America

It’s nice to see some of these characters again after 30 years, but it’s rarely laugh-out-loud funny. Part of what made the original funny was a kind of over-the-top goof of the fish-out-of-water trope. Those gags about how “different” Africa was don’t really hold up in the modern era. So, it’s now more about a class struggle. How rich is too rich? It’s always nice to see Eddie Murphy doing his thing, but it’s lazy and ham-fisted compared to Dolemite is My Name.