Red Lights

How did filmmakers get this incredible cast for this so-so 2012 movie? The scientific debunking of mentalists and hucksters is sharp and intriguing. Cillian Murphy captivates as the paranormal debunker with a hidden agenda. The rest of the cast is stellar. But things about this are wacky. Askew. Cattywampus. Off. Well-known actors are sidelined, unnecessary scenes go on way too long, and the conclusion must be explained through voiceover. It aspires to be a modern-day, big budget Scanners meets X-Files. But the pacing feels scattered and directionless. The plot feels unrealized and unmotivated. This is supposed to be my expertise. I’ve put in my 10,000 hours. But I can’t explain it. Something is just… off.

Train to Busan

Zombie retrospective. The zombie movie cream-of-the-crop, to some. Production design is clean and slick, which makes the arrival of the fast zombies and the spraying blood all the more dreadful. It starts with routine domestic issues, and a sympathetic Dad trying to do his best. When the outbreak begins, Dad makes a few selfish moves to save his young daughter, but efforts to dial back hero’s sympathetic qualities ring false. We know he’s a good guy. Don’t bother with a ginned-up arc. There aren’t too many young children in zombie narratives, I suppose for production safety reasons, but having a little girl in this gives the whole spectacle a layer of vulnerability. Filmmakers intend for this to add HEART to the story, which more often than not, works. Sequences are extremely well-choreographed. Lots of glass, and windows being the only thing that stands between the heroes and the zombie hoards. The pace, like a speeding train, doesn’t let up, and the editing is expert. Is this the Citizen Kane of zombie movies? Kinda. Maybe. If you don’t count OPENING NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.

28 Days Later

Zombie retrospective. I remember reading about this before it came out. Film nerds (like me) were very skeptical that a theatrical feature could be shot on consumer video cameras and not feel cheap and gimmicky. But Danny Boyle proves with his track record that he welcomes risk. It’s scary. Scenes on the abandoned London streets are truly eerie. And Cillian Murphy’s commitment to the bit is unwavering. As usual, zombie parables inevitably chart how quickly people can turn on each other when the undead start lumbering around. There’s an unsavory rapey-ness to the final third of this. Thankfully, revenge is sweet. Interesting, too, to watch the DVD of this, with the alternate endings (I can’t remember the last time I watched a DVD). Filmmakers conclude with a small amount of hope for mankind. But they sill had their doubts.

Hearts of Atlantis

All I remember about seeing this movie 20-some years ago is that it was boring. Well, guess what? It’s still boring. A lot of loose plot threads and almost-thriller beats makes this kind of dull. Even the terribly important paranormal/ESP aspects feel glossed over and hampered. Hints at mind reading is a varietal of Chekhov's gun: you gotta use it and it’s gotta matter.

Conclave

Ralph Fiennes and his ornate robes are the Superglue that holds this Vatican thriller together. The costumes and sets are all perfect and artful and the acting is expert. Political maneuvers are often achieved through mannered implications and nuanced facial expressions, as the important cardinal dudes try to pick a new pope. The top-tier cast is up for it. But thanks to Fiennes stoic character, the plot points tend to resolve themselves pretty smoothly and the resolution comes out of nowhere. It’s an amusing surprise, but its purpose seems to be to render the rest of the plot much ado about clothing. It’s all about ceremony - the underlying truths will be kept secret. Still, a highly competent drama for audiences resistant to car chases.

Resident Evil

Continuing the zombie retrospective. In this crucial contribution to the zombie lexicon, the parable here eats itself. An evil corporation makes zombies, but also the zombie virus antidote. But trouble starts when the whistleblowers steal the formula and then try to sabotage the zombie lab. So who’s at fault? Like they say: zombie outbreaks are caused by a series of mistakes rather than just one. Be that as it may, supermodels in combat boots and red negligées are ready to karate-kick the zombie hoards.

World War Z

Zombie retrospective. Rewatched this big-screen zombie epic for the first time since 2013. The plot is very basic, and it only feels epic because of the many, many zombies. Brad Pitt and his hair do a lot of heroic things, but they (the military?) MAKE him. They tell him they’re going to kick his family off of the safe ship unless he helps, which is pretty messed up. This was supposed to be a launch pad for a whole series of World War Z movies, alas.

Shaun of the Dead

Zombie retrospective. Culturally, one of the more successful zomedies, the plot presupposes what a couple of English slackers would do during the zombie apocalypse without the guns that are so easily accessible to Americans. Hypothetically, could a slacker rise to the occasion and save his loves ones? Probably not. But can he learn to be a hero at any rate, which will impress his girlfriend? I’m having trouble see the parable in this one. For what it’s worth, Simon Pegg delivers some above-par emotional acting, running around in an elevated-level of stress and weeping authentically when the loved ones are eaten. Turn off your brains, and enjoy Edgar Wright’s quick cuts and Pegg’s stressed-out bloke.

Megalopolis

“I’m Francis Coppola. Welcome to my Ted Talk.” The social media meanies are saying that this is a “piece of shit” and “the worst movie ever made.” Neither of those things are true. It’s bad. Yes. But it’s more dull and dumb than sickeningly awful. The loose plot structure involving inventers, urban planners, mayors, and rich assholes serves only for the characters to stand atop interesting sets and pontificate about the state of the world and the future. It’s an essay. 

At first it seems like the hero is Adam Driver (“Cesar”) but in fact, as Kristen Haldeman Kauffman pointed out,  the hero seems to be Natalie Emmanuel (“Julia”) the rich, well-read, party-girl daughter of the mayor. She falls in love with Cesar the inventor, and seems to re-direct her purpose in life to build him up, serve him, and bear children. But she also brokers peace between the families and factions. This is heroic (ibid). It’s no coincidence that this seems like the role that Coppola’s wife Eleanor played for him - the doting wife; the supporting role of the genius. 

But, I mean… It’s like it was edited with farm equipment. Scenes go on way too long. Pointless scenes stay in. Bad lines stay in. The music starts when it shouldn’t and ends when it shouldn’t. And there’s WAY, WAY, WAY too much Shia LaBeouf in drag. At times it feels like a William Castle prank, like when an usher at our theater “participates,” paying homage to Rocky Horror. Is it bad? Yes. Am I recommending it? No, I am not. But it’s possible that within this ugly chunk of marble there was a beautiful sculpture that the old man just didn’t have time to finish.

From Russia With Lev

Does this count as a movie? I’m not sure. Rachel Maddow seems to think so. Lev Parnas and his wife Svetlana Parnas recount his weird trek into tRump’s inner circle and how he was sent to Ukraine to dig up dirt on Hunter Biden. He’s a direct and convincing man who was hypnotized by the “glamour” of the former guy and all the golden toilets and stuff. An epiphany forces him to blow the whistle. There were efforts in the editing room to make this “nuttier” and more farcical, which weren’t needed. Just point the camera at Lev and Svetlana and it’s captivating.

The Killer's Game

The hit man anti-hero. The wise old man. The damsel/dame. A murderers row of goons and henchman. “Rules,” i.e. self-imposed ethics relating to the world of assassins. It’s another one of this year’s “hitman’s greatest hits.” The tone of this is wildly inconsistent. At times, it's a serious, dramatic thriller where death is feared. At times it’s like a Stephen Chow kung-fu comedy, packed with nutty, colorful assassins, weird weapons, and over-the-top cartoony kills. It’s like the director wanted this to be his “directing reel.” “Look! I can do action, I can do funny action, I can do artsy, I can do drama.” But all at the expense of an interesting plot or heroic characters. The quest of the hero is just to survive the night. But there’s absolutely no heart or subtext here. When John Wick starts massacring baddies, we love it because we CARE. I think it’s a cautionary tale. Adopt a tone and a style and stick with it. Get the audience behind the hero. Efforts to create hilariously creative set pieces in this come off as disingenuous. All that being said, Dave Bautista is a likeable if funny-looking hero and can carry a movie – even a dumb one.

Damsel

I was surprised by this well-written and well-produced princess vs dragon tale on Netflix. The plot is full of twists, reveals, and reversals. The acting is adept. The fairy tale effects are admirable. And as sappy as it is to say: there is a positive message to young women about being suspicious of traditions. There is a woman vs woman theme here, though – a fairy tale convention. Only a hint of the women trying to get on the same page at the end, but satisfying, nonetheless. Yet another movie that seems like it should have been in theaters (nothing against Netflix).

Jim Henson Idea Man

Good Ol’ Ron Howard, out there making the safe choices, as usual. Making a loving documentary about a beloved person is about as artistically safe as it gets. But old and new interviews are insightful and the animation and playful interludes are cool. Of course, it gets meepy at the end. When the big, yellow bird who was one of your best friends as a kid sings “It’s not Easy Being Green” at Henson’s funeral. It’s an inspiring doc about an artist with an incredible legacy.

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

It’s hard to know how long you can wait before you make a sequel. Is 37 years too long? Apparently not if most of the cast, the director, and the composer are still around. Some of the attempts to involve the father without including the “cancelled” actor from the original are awkward. But otherwise, everybody looks like they’re having a blast. It loses a little steam in the middle, but the Jimmy Webb conclusion is so inspired and nutty, I was in awe. Kudos to all involved. A fun night at the movies.

Annihilation

Finally caught this 2018 body-snatching sci-fi from Gen X dystopia wiz Alex Garland. The simple plot isn’t wildly original and could just as easily have been an old Roger Corman movie. But this is all about style, all about flourish. Filmmakers take their time, establish characters, and establish MOOD. And man, oh, man can these folks create a mood. All the filmmaking/film authoring techniques are required: movement, light, sound, music. All intended, it seems, to make alien assimilation appear to be beautiful. Oh! And also terrifying. The cast of mostly A-list stars is top-notch. It’s risky to make the kids sit still through some of this as it creeps along. But the climax is scary and the conclusion is a fun riff on an old sci-fi trope.

Alien: Romulus

When a young woman is fighting an alien xenomorph on a crippled spaceship, she must be in her underwear. Them’s the rules. Lot of other rules and tropes, callbacks to previous Aliens, in this scary and well-made chapter. There’s a legit pattern now, and a lot of it is predictable. An innocent will be face-hugged. A synthetic will betray the hero. Acid blood will cripple the ship. It goes on. But it’s a skillfully made bundle of lore. Director Fede Alvarez knows how to “fan-service” and uses his excellent sense of timing to scare – beyond the typical jump scares. When something new DOES come along, a biological abomination, you don’t get the sense that it’s going to be sticking around for very long. Spoiler alert. Thematically, all of the “Alien” movies depict a worse-case-scenario of people caught in between a battle between biology and technology, and the exploitation of one for the other for profit, of course. One of the lessons is: don’t let a corporation decide what’s human.

Twisters

“Oh, no! A big tornado! Let’s drive straight into it!” 

“What? That’s crazy. You’ll get us all killed.” 

“Do you believe in science or don’t you?” 

“Okay, drive!” 

 “Oh, no! Another member of our team died in a tornado!” 

“Why does this keep happening to us??” 

“They died doing what they love: driving straight into tornados.” 

“Say! Isn’t that a tornado?” 

“We should drive into it!” 

“Great idea!” 

“For science, bitches!” 

 Up next: Irwin Allen and Steven Spielberg Present: Twister Part 3: Twistees!

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Rewatched this influential, trope-filled, 1997 horror movie; a chapter from the old guard and a relic from the popcorn-horror before-times. Horror movies function best as cautionary tales. And this establishes a strong parable about taking responsibility for one’s actions, etc. The plot, however, is pretty boring, and the filmmakers compensate for this by lingering on the bodies of the prepossessing teenagers while trying to milk suspense. For the most part, the cast is game and, without having much to work with, expertly mine suspense out of thin air. It entertains, but it doesn’t really surprise.

Deadpool & Wolverine

Many of the superhero products lately have exploited the multi-verse. It’s a time-travel, timeline, do-over logic which allows filmmakers an excuse to not follow a serialized canon and instead do their own thing with the same actors. The Flash, The X-Men, and various Spidermans have all played with this do-over, what-if logic. So a satire of the “multi-verse” was inevitable. Chock full of comic book Easter eggs, fan service tributes, and real world references, its main entertainment purpose is to make the audience feel smart. “Oh, I get that reference! That’s an X-Men reference! That’s a Loki reference! That’s Ryan’s real-world wife.” It’s less of a story and more of a comic riddle. It rewards all the many hours of previous moviegoing. But it’s full of easy, low-hanging laughs – unfolding as a really violent buddy comedy. It won’t really resonate as a super-hero story, but as a comedy it sticks the landing.

Barb and Star go to Vista del Mar

Is like Dumb and Dumber for the ladies. Really silly, and at times laugh-out-loud funny, this is a comedy musical with two corny, ordinary middle-aged gals going on vacation. Writer Kristen Wiig also plays the villain, a wildly-conceived weirdo who can’t tan and has a funny vendetta. It’s kind of amazing this even got made. It’s silly to the point of being quirky, and it’s single-minded in its frivolity. It’s like they intentionally made it to be a cult comedy… for the ladies.

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes

Francis Lawrence knows how to set a scene and he knows how to move a camera. The physical spaces are striking. But the story here is kind of nihilistic and meh. Everybody loses, it seems, and love is dead. It’s also a musical! Several bluegrass/country songs are performed. Jason Schwartzman is really the only one who comes out unscathed here, devouring scenery with impeccable comic relief. Too bad the fascists win, but I guess that’s how it happens in reality, too.

The Fall Guy

Despite the overuse of one particularly mediocre KISS song, this is pretty good. It’s clever, and at times tries very hard to be so. The plot isn’t wildly original, but takes a big swing by deepening the premise of the old TV show in a tiny but crucial way. The surprises come mostly from zingers. The script feels like it had an army of wisecrackers and zing-writers polish this within an inch of its life. It makes for a fun, light-hearted watch.

Galaxy Quest

Rewatched this love-letter to fandom. It’s still sharp and has a lot of laughs.

Fast Charlie

FAST CHARLIE has Pierce Brosnan as a fixer for a mob family, and works on the premise that they’re his true family and his closest allies. So, when a turf-war results in everyone in his mob being killed, he takes them out one by one. Therefore, the revenge part of it is less impactful because we don’t really get to know these people. But there IS a key relationship – a love-interest/father daughter thing with a young woman getting dragged into the conflict. It’s a sweet relationship, but, I mean, she’s WAY WAY younger. 45 to his 71. If it wasn’t handsome Pierce Brosnan it would be downright creepy. There’s also a regional, local color aspect to this movie, which means the sense of place is a big priority. Be that as it may, it’s still an old-man, one-man-army and he drives off into the sunset with his new lady-friend.

The Beekeeper

A pulpy revenge fantasy and works really well because the initial inciting incident, a nice old lady being scammed by a boiler-room full of cyber-thieves, is something everyone can relate to. Lots of “Oh, no. You pissed off the wrong guy…” dread, like John Wick. The rest of the plot is clunky and involves a lot of coincidences and hare-brained implausibilities. But Statham kills a bunch of bad guys and that makes it really enjoyable. There's no central relationship. He’s a one-man army with NO buddies, which is lacking. But still really fun. 

Hit Man

I was thinking that this was a movie about a hit man. But (spoiler alert) it’s not about a hit man. It’s a comedic noir, focused on the central romantic relationship. There are a couple of REALLY well-directed “two-hander” scenes that are, like, masterly in the reveals and suspense. The characters making choices, and twists that result unfold so skillfully. The script never disguises who the villain is and makes it so you really want them to die. Also, good use of cell phones. It's light, but skillfully done. I think this kid Linklater has a future.

The Creator

I would like to have seen this on the big screen. The effects are cool, but it’s a hodge-podge. A mess of sci-fi ideas in an overly-cooked stew. But it works because it’s EMOTIONAL. Like really, really. Like, “wow” them in the end.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

The prologue is a fantastic short film itself. A long action sequence that fills out Furiosa’s backstory and more clearly motivates her need for revenge. It’s riveting. The three-act movie doesn’t start until about an hour in, when Anya Taylor Joy takes over the role. She’s always been good, and here, without saying much, crushes this. This is partially helped by her big expressive eyes, which feel like a combination of a Margaret Keane painting and an A.I. (“A EYE”) generated pixie-person. Structurally this movie is completely topsy-turvy. The climactic chase, the one with the most dramatic stakes and the one during which the character’s goals and alliances completely shift, is in the middle of the movie. The finale is like a Samuel Beckett or David Mamet play. A dialogue-heavy two-hander in an asymmetrical void. The whole series is populated with mouthy carny types, and Chris Pine/Pratt/Evans/Hemsworth delivers his dangerous goofball impressively. Because we know eventually what’s going to happen, this doesn’t pack the suspenseful punch of Fury Road. It’s just a piece of the puzzle; a kind of a weird piece. But holy cow do you get your money’s worth.

Totally Killer

Is going back in time to help out your parents, or your younger self, becoming a sub-genre? There’s plenty to recommend in this horror movie version of “Bill & Ted’s” but it’s not the hill I’m gonna die on. Kiernan Shipka is becoming a leading lady, and maneuvers her way through the gimmicky plot easily and believably as the “final girl”. At times this is pretty funny, but are those “nostalgia” laughs? As in, “Look at her hair! That’s so ‘80s!”? Yet another movie that seems like it should have gone to theaters, but maybe I don’t understand the distribution business as well as I could.

Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver

I checked out the latest space opera where a group of farmers on a small moon rise up and rebel against the fascists with their laser guns and their laser swords. There’s a bunch of robots and spaceships the special effects are pretty good. Is it a Star War? No, it is not. For better or worse, you have to hand it to Sofia Boutella. The Algerian dancer is not particularly famous, although she’s been in a few big movies. But she’s fully committed; fighting and crying and shaving her head. She can kick ass and be vulnerable. And this entire Zack Snyder series is resting on her shoulders. (One thing you can say absolutely for certain is she’s a MUCH better actor than Gina Carano.) Certain sequences in this are awesome and beautiful to behold, but others are so corny and plastic. Snyder is still in love with slow motion and glowing, burning embers flying at the actors. Everything is too much of this, too much of that. There’s no modulation from the overly important, serious tone. So, it’s a mixed bag.

Abigail

So, everyone knows: children and ballerinas are ALL evil, right? With a premise this wildly entertaining, the execution only needs to be serviceable for this to be a success. So, while it’s not overly ambitious, it checks all the boxes with the requisite number of (spoiler alert) exploding people and pools of dead bodies and pithy wisecracks. With 2 (two) actors from Downton Abby, the cast is all good, covered in blood and hamming it up with Grand Guignol flourish. The pre-pubescent vampire ballerina (Alisha Weir) is WAY better than one would ever expect, which holds the whole thing together. The pro-wrestling climax is not as surprising or as original as it’s great predecessor Ready or Not, so walking out of the theater is not as much of a rush. But it’s still a sweet, bloody confection to be enjoyed if not overtly admired.

Joy

This eluded me when it came out in 2015. The ad campaign made it look like David O Russell’s sub-par sequel to Silver Linings Playbook and American Hustle. Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, and Bradley Cooper AGAIN?? Reviews were bad, even though JLAW got another Oscar nomination. I never knew what it was about, other than another bickering family. But suddenly this appears on the airplane menu, and this was GOOD. The reductive premise is it’s a biopic about a woman who invents a mop. But the obstacles she faces, especially from her own family, make this interesting and turmoil-filled. Despite melodramatic diversions (there’s a “soap-opera” refrain throughout), I found myself fully invested, pulling for the hero, and appreciating the happy ending.

The First Omen

It’s called The First Omen, but it picks-up in the middle of a Catholic Church conspiracy where there’ve already been plenty of previous omens. The “nuns-ploitation” unfolds in a predictable way, and seems to be intent on being an allegory for what happens when an authority (evil nuns) takes away abortion rights from young women who have been impregnated by beings by whom they didn’t choose to be impregnated. The principal nun (Nell Tiger Free) commits to the bit and handles the possession devil-baby stuff with aplomb. More yucky than scary.

Monkey Man

The good news is: Dev Patel made a movie. He and the crew did a bang-up job – a combination of a Van Damme/Jackie Chan/John Woo revenge fantasy and an Indian, socio-political commentary. But it’s a very large, very hot cup of coffee. It’s a lot. It’s a barrage of action. Quick cuts and shaky-cam. Ironic music. It rarely breathes and it’s hard to FEEL anything with this frenetic, indulgent assault. Mistakes were made, the biggest of which is not revealing the backstory earlier. I hope it does well. I hope it makes money. But it’s exhausting. My eyeballs were tired afterwards. I hope the editor gets treatment for an obvious cocaine addiction. 

As I watched I wondered, “Why do people watch these movies?” The gun-fu action isn’t going to re-invent the wheel. The familiar tropes, the hero, the villain, the hooker with a heart of gold, the kid, aren’t going to resonate, per se. There’s a feeling to get - like when Captain America picks up Thor’s hammer. Or when Neo stops the bullets in mid-air with is mind. Or when Furiosa rips off Immortan Joe’s face. It’s a primal satisfaction. A pay off. Lots of punching and blood isn’t going to get you there. And an ambiguous ending won’t provide the rush of adrenalin and oxytocin the audience wants. Tension and release needs to be addressed. Satisfaction needs to be addressed. Even for a violent gun-fu movie made for hyperactive, young males.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

King Kong and Godzilla are BUSY. King Kong is trying to trap and kill dog/monster things with a bad tooth. Godzilla’s stomping around the world trying to charge up like an electric car for some TBD fiery showdown. Life is hard for the big monsters. Good thing we have Rebecca Hall and Brian Tyree Henry to narrate the important points. “Kong is trying to reach the surface!” “Godzilla’s preparing for something…” It’s impossible to look at this with any kind of cinematic critical thinking. The director of Pop Skull has made a computer-generated nature documentary bereft of sophistication or subtext. It doesn’t seem to be an allegory for World War II anymore. It’s epic, but it’s coherent, believe it or not. The busy plot hampers the desired monster-movie playfulness, but there’s still a crescendo of roaring and city-smooshing to please my monkey brain.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Watching this is a surreal experience. Numerous times I had to stop and ask myself, “Did I fall asleep? Did I miss something?” Scenes stop in the middle. Costumes change. Characters refer to previous scenes that aren’t in the movie. Characters seem to know things that they had no time to learn. It’s like it was edited with a chainsaw. It’s a mess. The cast is good. It’s too bad the story/plot/subplot/continuity/dramatic tension/climax are in shambles. What happened??

Death in Venice

I’ve never read the Agatha Christie book, but I’d be willing to bet it’s significantly less exciting than this adaptation by Kenneth Branagh. He knows he has his work cut-out for him, and in some ways overcompensates with a dancing camera and gothic sets from the Guillermo del Toro design guide. The result is a serviceable thriller/airplane movie with a strong cast and the requisite number of murders and twists.

Dream Scenario

Extremely heart-felt and well-made tragedy about an ordinary schlub who, for unknown reasons, is suddenly put on display, ostracized, and persecuted by the universe. Among other things, it’s a metaphor for cancel culture. But in this case, the ordinary guy, played neurotically and expertly by Nick Cage, did absolutely nothing wrong. The people around him don’t acknowledge this and participate in the pile on, because, well, you’ve got to stone SOMEBODY to death, right? Otherwise it could be you. When the persecution begins to drive him crazy, the schlub starts to make mistakes, which would be the normal human reaction. And then of course, to the people around him this reinforces the originally unfounded belief that he’s a bad man. And the spiral down hastens. It’s incredibly sad.

Cabrini

The cinematography in this is gorgeous by a photog who’s shot other “faith-based” films. The “faith based” marketing of this movie feels incongruous, since the story involved helping impoverished refugees and orphans, something the evangelicals are completely opposed to. It’s a highly stylized true story, and plays more like a Dickens/”Oliver Twist” heartwarming tragedy than a docudrama. It would have been a LOT better if it didn’t have 20 minutes of terrible faith-based previews before it. It’s well-meaning, but impossible to market, and cynically speaking, that’s the purpose of the faith-based movies – marketing. Church for sale.

Easy Rider

Re-watched this trailblazing hippie odyssey in 4K. The music is great. But the story, like the hippies I suppose, is sort of drifty and pointless. For better or worse, they believed that everyone was trying to kill them.

Kong: Skull Island

Re-watched this as a refresher for the Monarch “Monsterverse” sequels in the pipeline. It’s only so-so, but thankfully short.

Anatomy of a Fall

Performances are sharp in this Alpine murder mystery (including the dog!). It’s an astute procedural, akin to Law and Order, and details and depiction of the French Courts is intriguing. I wouldn’t say it’s Best Picture material, but it was emotional and watchable.

Dune Part 2

Part 2 really plays like David Lean made a science fiction movie. In every way it’s epic. All of the designs and cinematography are sublime. The performances are all very serious - taking wild plot points and delivering them with gravity, up to and including Rebecca Ferguson chatting with her unborn child telepathically. There’s no real point in mentioning the effects anymore – they’re always exceptional. But these movies never end. I knew how this would be. It’s called Part 2. It’s right in the title. So walking out of the theater in a rush of oxytocin has become less frequent these days. But it has to be commended for no other reason than everybody had to have worked REALLY hard.

Letters to Juliet

At the end of this sappy, pointless 2010 romance, Amanda Seyfried perfectly delivers the one and only funny/hilarious line in this entire dull, travelogue of clichés. And she knocks it out of the park. Is it worth sitting through this entire movie for this one perfectly delivered gag? No, it is not. The scenery does most of the heavy lifting here, and it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

Dune

Rewatched in preparation for Part 2. It’s talky sci-fi, and the details of the plot often reveal in bits of dialogue. But, man, they made this movie. It’s glorious to behold and not a sour note in the whole experience. It’s never slow. The really memorable scenes are the small-scale struggles, the escapes, and the mano a mano battles - superhero action stars seemingly thrilled to be doing something different. Eager for Part 2.

Poor Things

The point of this seems to be: a woman’s decisions are her own, no matter how terrible they are. As a woman with a baby’s brain, Emma Stone turns-in an incredible, vulnerable physical performance. But it’s hard not to think that all the grotesque men in her life are really using and abusing her in a way that even a fantasy steam-punk netherworld can’t disguise. It’s a magical place with no pregnancies or STDs, and look at all those pretty dresses! Everything is filmed in a Jean-Pierre Junet fish-eye, wide-angle, and the music is weird, forcing all of the proceedings to feel like one big, long dream. It never grounds itself, even for a second. It’s visionary, and I’m happy this was made, but all the over-modulation leaves me piqued but not entirely satisfied.

The Holdovers

Everyone knows: the teaming up of Paul Giamatti and Alexander Payne can only be a recipe for great things. This is so sad and so poignant; it’s a melancholy masterwork. The three key performances are sharp and deep. It’s rare for a movie to be this astute and emotional as it says what so many people think about Christmas: Christmas sucks. It’s okay if Paul Giamatti doesn’t win the Oscar for this. He’s in a class by himself. Dear Hollywood, be kind to Giamatti. Pay him well. Give him a nice trailer. He’s a national treasure.

El Conde

Presented in beautiful black and white, this Chilean Vampire comedy is an odd-duck. Sometimes Farrelly/Zucker Brothers absurd, and sometimes grey and gloomy in a Woody Allen way. I’m happy this was made, and the filmmaker’s SEEM to have had carte blanche to produce this romantic-comedy horror outlier. It’s probably an allegory for something political in Chili that I don’t quite get, as it skates the line between vampire and satire. But it’s original, you gotta give it that.

The Marvels

This has a Guardians of the Galaxy nuttiness to it. Superhero schtick. Performances are all good; trying to crossover between physical comedy and action heroics. But it feels diversionary. The stakes are low. I mean the world can’t be in jeopardy of ending in EVERY movie, can it? Also, there’s A LOT of cat stuff in this. It’s really cat-heavy. So if you like cats, this one’s for you.

Doug's Favorite movies of 2023

Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse

 The Holdovers

American Fiction

Leave the World Behind

Judy Blume Forever

Oppenheimer

Still

HONORABLE MENTION:

Tetris

Godzilla Minus One

It’s a strong but melodramatic drama about a disgraced kamikaze pilot and his surrogate family disguised as a Godzilla movie. Filmmakers postulate that not everybody in Japan was in favor of the war. The government exploited its citizens and made them expendable. There were heroes that were anti-war, too. This revises history and entertains, and could subversively be considered a sequel to Oppenheimer.

Ferrari

I was expecting, basically, a sequel to Gucci – an orgia of Italian stereotypes. Except for Penelope Cruz, the acting is a little more subtle here. It’s Michael Mann’s driving scenes that are “turbolento.” Juxtaposed is the family stuff and relationship drama, which actually drives the plot. Although sometimes it feels filmmakers are biding time until the big, flying car crashes, the family dramas actually come full circle and skillfully resolve, which is nice.

Violent Night

Rewatched this new Christmas classic. Some of the plotting and characterizations are clunky, but watching Santa Claus pummel a couple of dozen armed militia with a sledgehammer warms my little grinchy heart.

Rebel Moon

Lucasfilm and Zach Snyder developed this as a Star Wars movie. And then it was dumped, but still filmed as a non-Star-War. Remember when Trader Joe's use to sell their Dr. Pepper rip-off “Dr. Joes”? It’s kind of like that. A knock-off. So, on the surface, it still really feels like a Star War. But the Jedi universe mines the nature of good and evil and lots of pseudo-philosophy to keep it interesting. Rebel Moon is all about grain. No, really. Lke: “The fascists are stealing our grain. We have to rise up and stop them, so the wonderful grain we grow can be ours, and we can make bread and tortillas and stuff.” And the Magnificent Seven plot plays out after that. The designs are wonderous, to be sure. But the plot and the heroes feel like fan-fiction – great warriors in courageous, highly-sparkly battles, but their purpose lacks emotional weight.

The Meg 2

This lacks the monster-movie playfulness of the first one, and that was all it ever had going for it. So how do you raise the stakes for a shark that’s already the length of an aircraft carrier?

Haunted Mansion

The second movie that I know of based on the Disneyland ride. This means well, and some of the actors are having fun with it, but it’s not really funny, and it’s certainly not scary. The point seems to be to behold the amazing effects – a lot like an amusement park ride. But effects-wise you can pretty much do anything these days, so effects extravaganzas feel a little empty.

Maestro

Everything about Maestro is perfect in every way. Bradley Cooper’s voice and mannerisms are finely studied. His hair is immaculately coifed like Leonard Bernstein’s. The fake nose is faithful to its subject. His movements when he conducts are impeccably timed and excellent. Carey Mulligan’s blueblood accent is unmatched. Her acting is brilliant. Her hair is dreamy. The cinematography is the best this side of the Mississippi. Camera moves are precise and inspiring. The sets and scenes are gloriously designed; the style is gorgeous. The switch from black and white to color is awesome. The changes in the aspect ratio are pitch-perfect. The cinematography is stellar; perhaps Nobel prize winning. Steven Spielberg’s superb producing is wonderful and marvelous. I’m sure the Twizzlers at craft service were delicious and fresh and not even remotely stale. Everything, and I mean everything, about this is divine and ineffable and unparalleled in the history of art throughout the known galaxy. A+++. 

 So, it’s kind of annoying. I feel dumb, but I didn’t really get into it.

The Abyss

I’ve seen this 35-year-old epic at least 35 times over the years. After all this time, it still never fails to move and evoke. It’s a stellar achievement. At the recent screening, the ending is even MORE terrible, if that’s at all possible. But 9/10ths of this is a masterpiece.

Eileen

This nutty, lesbian homage to DePalma starts out great and unravels skillfully. Jojo Rabbit’s Thomasin McKenzie’s brave, risky take on a kinky innocent is fascinating. Anne Hathaway nails her trickster/disrupter bombshell like the “A” student she is. A supporting character’s harrowing monologue will stay with you for days. But it’s only 2/3rds of a movie. There’s no ending and no resolution. It’s like the filmmakers ran out of money and said, “Well, let’s just end it there.” It’s too bad, because for while there they were really dabbling in some freaky, kinky territory.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Re-watched this Wes Anderson tone poem for the first time in years. It’s still enjoyably silly, beautifully designed, and a bit slow.

Sisu

“Finnish grindhouse” is not a marriage of words that I ever expected to see or enjoy, but filmmakers go full H.A.M., balls-to-the-wall exploitation here and it’s unalloyed fun. It’s part Indiana Jones, part Bruce Campbell in Evil Dead, and part Bugs Bunny. Finnish filmmakers appreciate the imperative that if you’re going to blow someone up in a movie it should probably be a Nazi. And man: it’s satisfying to watch the variety of ways that Nazis explode and die in this master-class menagerie of chaos. When history looks back at this era and wonders why we as a society allowed the Nazis and fascists to take control again, they will at least have fine works of art like this to demonstrate that SOME of us didn’t WANT to be under Nazi rule and made art to express it.

The Beanie Bubble

I enjoyed watching these three women (Elizabeth Banks, Geraldine Viswanathan, Sarah Snook) outsmart and outplay the Beanie Baby weirdo, Ty Warner, played with unlikeable narcissistic precision by Zach Galifianakis. But filmmakers complicate the plot unnecessarily by cluttering up the timeline with non-linear time-jumps, etc. It’s often funny, and it’s an interesting history. It’s too bad the filmmakers got the Rick and Morty editors hopped up on speedballs to cut-up the chronology beyond all hope.

Napoleon

Behold Sir Ridley’s huge castles and epic battles. It’s eye candy. But there isn’t a likeable character in this, and as hilarious as it may be to watch Leaf Phoenix method-act for 2 1/2 hours, this won’t resonate. There’s no hero’s journey. It’s a suitable history, which makes it worthwhile, but if you’re looking to be inspired, look at other epics in the Scott lexicon.

Dumb Money

It’s like an Altman movie (but caffeinated) that jumps around from character to character elaborating on the weird Reddit/Robin Hood stock market movement to save GameStop. Despite the all-star cast, this probably didn’t make a huge splash in theaters because there are already a few documentaries about this exact subject. Notwithstanding, thanks to Paul Dano as the rebel investing nerd, this works and charms as we watch a few little guys beat the system.

The Killer

David Fincher’s lone assassin yarn yields to many of the “solitary hitman” conventions, but still offers some surprises amidst excellent filmmaking. In voiceover, Fassbender’s lone gunman is compulsively reciting the hitman rules, which reminded me a lot of the TV show Burn Notice. Also, the only music he ever seems to listen to is The Smiths, which could be depressing for him and expensive for the filmmakers. It’s an entertaining crime-tastic noir, a cold-fusion of James Bond and John Wick with plenty of killin’.

Fancy Dance

Lily Gladstone from Killers of the Flower Moon is the lead and she drives the plot. It’s a conventional missing person thriller, and the stakes are low. Filmmakers drum-up trouble for the heroes, which is fine since the “world” of the Indigenous woman straddling the line between the res and the non-res is the focus, not really the criminal underbelly plot. Nevertheless, the thriller unfolds adeptly, striking a strong balance between the genre stuff and the culture stuff.

Fantastic Machine

This Swedish documentary ruminates on the impact of the camera on humanity, some of it good, but most of it bad. From early films to modern Tik Toks, image is an obsession in culture, to the point where we don’t even recognize it anymore. Well-edited and a bit like surfing YouTube, filmmakers keep you riveted, but hardly scratch the surface of how life-changing the camera can be.

American Fiction

This is not the first movie where a novelist or artist invents a fake persona to represent their work. It’s Shakespeare. It’s Oscar Wilde. It’s Tootsie. It’s The Hoax. And the racial stereotyping, or pandering to people's stereotypes for some kind of gain (mastered by Eddie Murphy), is tricky. It would be eye-rollingly offensive if it weren’t for the delicate, precise, high-wire performance from veteran Jeffrey Wright. It functions as a racial satire to point out the book-world hypocrisy, but also evolves into full H.A.M. meta-movie, with multiple endings, etc. Thoroughly entertaining, mainly due to Wright, but also, like all good satires, shines a light on a societal minefield.

Freud's Last Session

Based on a play, which poses a hypothetical conversation between Sigmund Freud and CS Lewis, this is kind of a dud. The acting is top notch, but it’s just a philosophical conversation. There’s no plot. No stakes. “My Dinner with Sigmund.” Cronenberg’s fact-based take on Freud, A Dangerous Method, is superior.

Albert Brooks: Defending My Life

I’m biased because I worked on this, but it’s a poignant conversation between two old friends reviewing Albert Einstein’s body of work – deconstructing the old comedy methods and becoming the comedian’s comedian. Expertly edited by Bob Joyce, and my contribution was, of course, amazing.

Going Varsity In Mariachi

Achieving what most documentaries should: introducing me to a subject that I knew NOTHING about, this is the Hoop Dreams of the South Texas high school mariachi world. Functioning like a sports movie we follow one high school “team” as they travel, struggle, and compete in regional tournaments. It’s inspiring and warm-hearted. Everyone in this tiny subculture seems extremely nice. The filmmaking is polished and the pace is enérgica. Well-done.

Leave the World Behind

What if M. Night Shyamalan made a good movie?? Sam Esmail (and the Obamas!?) does an excellent job of establishing his archetypes and stereotypes here, and then skillfully upturns expectations. Solid casting is an important piece of the puzzle, as the movie stars feed the stereotypes then peel them back to reveal more interesting complicated people. The story and plot also does this well. It begins with some thriller beats, and then gradually expands into a more global crisis with much stronger themes. So sorry to knock around “Night”, but this succeeds with the twists where others (ibid) have failed. Although I could see the ending coming, it’s a hum-dinger and thoroughly satisfies. Kudos.

Killers of the Flower Moon

Leonardo DiCaprio decided that the best way to NOT look like Jay Gatsby in this movie was to wear this big awkward mouth/teeth prosthetic, and man it looks weird. It’s like he thought “I only want to look a little weird, but not REALLY weird.” He should have gone full H.A.M. weird, but this just looks affected and awkward. So much of the technique of this movie is great. Every second, every frame is beautifully captured. But the story is gross. There’s no hero to speak of. While Mollie the wife (Lily Gladstone) is the only non-scumbag in the entire movie, she’s not really the hero or protagonist. She doesn’t really drive the plot and she’s down with sickness for about a third of this 3-hour saga. It’s not until Jesse Plemons’ FBI character enters the scene that I ever felt like justice and resolution might occur. Yes, it’s an “important” movie about a grim historical event. But it’s a “medicine” movie and lacks narrative suspense and intrigue. It doesn’t matter how many well-costumed extras you have on set if you don’t have a hero and a journey. It’s beautiful to behold, though.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Held in a big concert venue, this “event” was projected on a comedically small screen, so as not to draw attention away from all the mid-movie shenanigans typical of this cult spectacle. Sound was sub-par and the bar closed early. A big issue with this modern screening is that the paid wise-crackers have had 50 years to curate all the one-liners yelled at the screen throughout history, and they yell them ALL. It’s an endless barrage of “ya-had-ta-be-there” quips but delivered by non-actors and non-comedians in a deadpan delivery more akin to having your number called at the DMV. Nevertheless, this above all other cult movies, is a unique kind of miracle. It lives on in its badness like no other movie, and must be appreciated for that weirdness.

Judy Blume Forever

This was great. Not because filmmakers reinvented the documentary wheel. All that stuff is pretty conventional. Interviews with best-selling author. Interviews with famous people. Etcetera. But there’s a running thread through this - people go up to Judy Blume when she’s in her bookstore or out for walks, often in tears, thanking her for learning about their bodies or accepting that sex and masturbation are okay. These moments are incredibly poignant and illustrate how important she is to the culture, after being banned and/or being relegated to the teen/YA category. School was always trying to cram Nathaniel Hawthorne down our throats, and Blume was assuredly much more influential to us. The best, so far, of many documentaries I’ve seen this year.

King of Kings: Chasing Edward Jones

In old movies, sometimes a character would mention that they were, “Playing the numbers.” I guess I never understood what that actually meant. But before the legal lottery, there was an illegal game run by gangsters called “Policy”, and Edward Jones was the king in Chicago. This doc checks the first and most important doc box, which is to teach me about something that I never knew. Filmmakers lacked visuals for some of the story and relied on mediocre animation. I can understand you gotta do what you gotta due to tell the story - there aren’t going to be old photos of gangland assassinations, etc. But something needs to be on screen. Eddie Jones opted to flee Chicago rather than get whacked by Sam Giancana and the mob. His kids and grandkids are still around to tell his story.

Devil Put the Coal in the Ground

Interview-heavy doc about a coal town wasting away. Injuries, death, pollution, opiate addictions, and lies and trickery from big coal fill-out this depressing but heart-felt portrait of a bygone fuel and the people who dedicated their lives to it.

Stop Making Sense

I can’t explain how cool it was in high school when David Byrne walks out onto an empty stage with a boombox, presses play, and starts the concert to the basic rhythm track. The scope of the show grew with every number until the big band is blowing the top off of the universe. Seeing it in IMAX is especially profound, watching the instrumentation in detail. A lot of luck factors into this movie. A soon-to-be-elite filmmaker and documentarian, a progressive band in their absolute prime (and still presumably getting along), and a theater full of fans realizing throughout the show they’re witnessing something historic. As of now this movie has 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. There’s no question why. It is the phenomenal version of its type of thing.

Mayhem

(Not to be confused with the Muppet show on Disney+. )

A vicious satire about office politics during a “Purge” type of epidemic in a high-rise office building. Steven Yeun and Samara Weaving are full HAM in this tribute to The Raid: Redemption and/or Dredd, as they kill their way to the top floor to confront the big boss (Steven Brand). Well-paced, dark, and funny, with a skillful, twisty conclusion. Well-calibrated tone; it never loses its sense of wicked fun.

Five Star Murder

Low-budget, modern-day Agatha Christie analogue set in a 5-star hotel during a hurricane. Diverse cast. Surprisingly elaborate water effects and flooded sets. Otherwise, everybody has a secret agenda, bodies pile up, there’s a McGuffin, yadda yadda yadda.

Miguel Wants to Fight

Likeable, low-budget homage to Napolean Dynamite, My Bodyguard, and Three O’Clock High. Unlike a lot of high school kids, Miguel’s focus isn’t to party or find a date, it’s to start a fight - not to exact revenge or anything, but as a rite of passage. To become a man. The days of a fist-fight being an important milestone to manhood are old-fashioned and not so dramatically compelling. But the fights themselves are elaborate set pieces lifted from famous karate movies and starring his friends. So it seems the rite of passage for the filmmakers was to DIRECT a big fancy fight scene and showcase it. “Only when you direct a karate scene will you know you’re a man.” – some Hulu guru, probably.

Men in Black: International

Tessa Thompson is good at her job. She reminds me of Anne Hathaway. The “A” student. Good at everything. She makes it all look easy and breezy, which is part of the whole vibe in a Men in Black movie. Chris “Thor” Hemsworth delivers the disrupter/loose-cannon partner well, but this convention feels out of place in the very serious, dead-pan world of Men in Black. So instead of alien Dragnet, they did alien Lethal Weapon. The world is not as “fresh” as when the Barry Sonnenfeld movie hit the market back in 1997, but it entertains on an airplane.

The Last Voyage of the Demeter

The sets are amazing. The monster is scary. The acting is solid. The scenes are suspenseful. There’s nothing wrong with this movie. It entertains, and it’s beautiful to behold. But as a business move, my cynical side awakens. Why are we seeing YET ANOTHER Dracula story? Why does the monster look so much like you would expect the monster to look? Why is the plot, lifted from Alien and countless other “monster on a ship” thrillers, so predictable? Except for some welcome unconventional casting, there’s something SAFE about this, so it lacks risk and originality. Is that a bad thing? Not really. But it’s not going to blow the top off the world, either.

The YouTube Effect

Directed by Alex “Bill S. Preston, Esq.” Winter, and produced by Gale Hurd, among others, this well-made cautionary tale about the evils of YouTube lands softly, counterbalancing the horror stories with some positive sweetness, too. The problem it seems is its “algorithm” that makes more videos play after your original video has ended. Apparently, you’re never more than six videos away from full-on white supremacy and right-wing conspiracies. It’s also apparent that “influencers” abuse the platform to prank people, lie about vaccinations, and make money -- getting “engagement” however they can. Nevertheless, it’s amazing that there’s this website where you can look up almost any video you would ever need, inviting cultures to learn about other cultures and allowing outliers to find their tribe. It’s really too huge of a subject for Winter to draw any simple conclusions, but it's speedy and thoughtful 'til the end.

Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story

Informative, low-budget doc is more like a PBS special. Lots of stock footage and b-Roll as Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler recounts her past -- heard from a cheap voiceover recording. It’s melancholy because she was basically exploited by the movie studios and the US military, who used her radio invention without giving her money or credit. Interviews with her children and grandchildren add insight to what I’m sure is a tip-of-the-iceberg portrait of a pretty complex woman.

Tread

Based on a real incident in 2004 in which a lunatic wronged by a cabal of business people in a small town in Colorado builds a home-made tank and starts driving over buildings and shooting at people. There are some big-name producers behind this doc, which sustains itself by including an actual audio recording/manifesto from the tank-building miscreant and re-enacts the attack with a mock-up of the tank presumably built for the film. Filmmakers structure the story to make the suicidal man a sympathetic, Rambo-like anti-hero. They’re lucky he didn’t kill anybody, or it would be a very different film. Deep down, it’s what everybody wants to do right? Build a tank and drive over your enemies? Glorious, glorious revenge can be so satisfying. But I bet some of the terrorized people in the town of Granby didn’t find it all so funny.

Nothing Compares

Not the most technically marvelous doc. But the information and emotion are highly relevant (obviously). Sinead O’Connor was right about the Catholic church, and it’s good she got to live to see the scandal break in the Boston Globe, etc (see Spotlight). It’s mysterious that the Prince estate would not allow a recording of the song “Nothing Compares 2U” to be used in the film. It seems petty, but I don’t know all the facts. Regardless, Sinead was lightning in a bottle, and unfortunately personified the “tortured artist.”

Oppenheimer

The long-awaited moment for Cillian Murphy has arrived, and it’s epic -- part David Lean biopic, part The Right Stuff team of scientists, and part Terrence Malick impressionistic essay on the morals of war. Murphy is fantastic playing a low-key, introverted scientist, but through excellent filmmaking conveying what is the “calling” to change the world. He did, it turns out. It’s a stirring portrayal. 

The entire movie is a piecemeal montage. There is no “present” there’s no hero’s journey, per se. The threads that weave together the story are two hearings. One, a hearing about renewing Oppenheimer's security clearance which devolves into a red-scare boondoggle, and one a senate confirmation hearing for Lewis Strauss (Bob Downey), who perpetrated aforementioned red-scare boondoggle. Every single white, male actor in the entire world is in this movie. Its filled with Oscar winners playing bit parts, which can be cleverly deceptive. Who will matter? Normally you assume the movie star will be the pivotal character. But if EVERYBODY’S a movie star, the picture begins to fill out and Christopher Nolan’s point becomes clear: all these scientists and generals and stuff were so important. They were ALL stars. The few women in the story, all with limited screen-time, are really memorable. It’s a blast (hydrogen or atomic?) when they’re spotlighted. 

The essay slowly builds towards a big-boom bomb test, which, when it happens feels gratifying and heroic. Ironic, because the details of what happens in Japan are rushed through and off-screen. We the audience don’t see the damage – only the post-war arrogance and paranoia -- a filmmaker’s choice which makes the conclusion to Oppenheimer’s story undeniably melancholy. Conversely, Alden Ehrenreich standing toe-to-toe with Downey as the results of the confirmation hearing are announced provides the juicy drama to wrap things up.

The Equalizer 2

This feels long. And the bits where Denzel is saving old people and troubled kids from the neighborhood feel pious and corny. But in the climax there’s a hell of a gunfight in the middle of a hurricane which I’m not sure how they did and it’s a barnburner. “Wow them in the end.”

Mission Impossible 2

So, is this a John Woo movie or a Mission: Impossible movie? I’d say it’s more of a John Woo movie. Upon re-watching this for the first time in 20+ years, John Woo is wooing it up with the "gun-fu" all over the place. Slow motion, acrobatic, and doves. Lots of doves. Also, the music is kind of corny and even though the plot is simplistic, it makes almost no sense. Young Thandiwe Newton is good here, but she’s definitely a damsel and a pretty face, and not the bad-ass assassin types we see in the later movies. I’m sure I liked this at the time, but now it really feels like it’s from a bygone era.

MEGAN

So, it’s Twilight Zone’s “Living Doll”/Chucky/H.A.L. 9000 etc. Number 5 is alive. Rod Serling was definitely a genius, but I’m not sure he could have predicted today’s A.I. when he created “Talky Tina.” The key to this is more of the campiness factor. The way Megan is dressed, and the way she dances and sings, is played more for nervous chuckles than anything else. This is pretty mild for a horror movie -- it’s less violent than a lot of HBO shows. So, while it doesn’t have an original bone in its plastic body, it entertains with a high camp factor.

The Lost City

This one’s for the ladies. Sandy Bullock stays as girly as possible while surrounded by "himbos" in a comedy adventure that might as well be called a remake of Romancing the Stone. Scene-by scene, the riffing and schtick is skillful, but the whole mess is kinda plain and forgettable – a suitable airplane diversion, but barely.

Barbie

If they had an Oscar for “Commitment to the Bit,” Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling would be shoo-ins. Carefully striking a fine-line between tribute and parody, indie “manic pixie” Greta Gerwig bedazzles the big screen and sells a bunch of toys in this explosion of pink and existential angst. The gags and musical numbers are funny and original, but the wire-framework is lifted from numerous cautionary tales throughout history invoking “number 5 is alive”: Frankenstein, Pinocchio, The Twilight Zone, Short Circuit, Chucky, Wargames, "2001", Toy Story, that Amazing Stories episode with the doll, Megan… This list goes on and on. As much as Robbie is the star, she delegates a lot of the schtick to Ryan Gosling, who “Mickey Mouse Clubs” his way to a bunch of laughs, and America Ferrara, who gets to give the big speech. Despite the well-worn premise, the script stays tight and surprising, walking that tightrope that means: you’ll either love it or hate it.

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

This is my third train fight in a month (see also Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny, Extraction 2). If you were an alien visiting Earth for the first time and didn’t know any better, you would think that trains were the most ubiquitous form of transportation and that people would constantly be running and fighting on the roof. Though, this takes the “slow motion train wreck” to the BEYOND with the CRASHING of the train and the subsequent escaping from the wrecked train in a Rube Goldberg/Buster Keaton sequence that’s both hair-raising and comedic. Thomas Cruise Mapother IV, McQ, and the rest of the filmmakers seem to spend thousands of hours brainstorming ridiculously close calls that defy physics for our entertainment pleasure. 

As we saw this in an old theater in Lagos, Portugal, I thought there might be issues with the sound. But after a while, I realized that filmmakers mixed this with the music way up, and many of the sound effects and ambient noises muted, which gives it a montage/music video effect. A choice, for better or for worse, to sustain the audience in a different way. The action is top-notch, naturally, and there’s plenty of suspenseful humor. You will, as always, get your money’s worth.

Wham!

I was never a big WHAM! guy, it’s safe to admit. It’s an informative doc that seems intent on redeeming the other guy in Wham! who isn’t George Michael – Andrew something. The band was his idea, after all. Anyway, lots of music and a treasure trove of old photos and interview clips keep the pace moving and the Wham! whamming. 

The Meg

This gave me warm, nostalgic feelings of the 1990s, when every third movie was a terrible, big-budget rip-off of Jurassic Park. Strong swimmer Jason Statham is perfect as the stoic outlier, knowing the truth about the creature when no one else knows. The science here is preposterous and the sparse shark effects are only so-so. But the monster movie clichés are playfully executed and the sense of dumb fun is admirable. A good airplane movie.

Wind River

A western with snow-mobiles instead of horses. The trope of the big city lawman (woman) teaming up with the local gunslinger gets effectively spun by the maestro of gritty, Tyler Sheridan. The snowy, cold place is ominous but the reason why the baddies are bad is a little foggy. “Scarlet Witch” and “Hawkeye” are both in top form here; minimalist and suppressed by the bitter cold and the mean rednecks. Tightly-paced and always engaging even if the villainy is vague.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Remember when the Nazis used to be the bad guys? In the good old days, kids, Nazis used to be the bad guys and not the American governors and corporate leaders. Heroes like Indiana Jones would battle Nazis in various adventures and we the audience would take great pleasure in watching the Nazis’ faces melt as they screamed in agony. In The Dial of Destiny, Nazis are once again the villains, and Indiana Jones and his intrepid partner Helena manage to kill a few dozen of them (but still not enough) and it’s great fun. Sadly, Indiana’s reign as a Nazi Hunter is coming to an end, and now more than ever, Nazis need to get melted while screaming. All of them. And instead they’re taking positions of power and creating policy. I enjoyed every second of this Nazi-killing adventure. Filmmaking trickery and razzle-dazzle help old Harrison Ford as he kills the Nazis and throws them off of moving trains, etc. The chases are long and fantastic (but a distant second to Fury Road). The John Williams music is, as always, beautiful. Indy’s desire to go back in time and re-do some things is visceral. Don’t we all wish we could. So like Indy, this nostalgic chapter hopes to go back in time and make some corrections. It succeeds in many ways, but time also moves forward and there isn’t much Indy or we the audience can do about that. Just keep reminding people about the time when the Nazis used to be the bad guys, and not the guys in charge.

Still

With vulnerability that few movie stars would ever be courageous enough to reveal, Mike Fox shows and tells the story of his Parkinson’s diagnosis. It’s less melancholy and pitiful than you’d think, with plenty of humor and clever bits lifted from his famous movies. The huge stockpile of clips must’ve given the clearance department the shakes as well. Too soon?? Anyway, it’s not like he could’ve hidden it from his fans for very much longer. He was and still is really famous, and the symptoms eventually became more than he or his alcohol supplements could handle. Documentarians use plenty of interpretations and reenactments to tell the story, which is fine. But the interviews with Fox himself are the most revealing and authentic. As he’s still going strong, raising his family and living his life, there’s no sign of any kind of conclusion, good or bad, in the near future.

Asteroid City

All of the comic book movies have meta-multi-verses, so why shouldn’t Wes Anderson? Here’s your precious, old-timey-looking ticket. Welcome to the Meta-Wes-iverse. It’s a Twilight Zone hosted televised play, but also the making of that play, and also a filmed version of that play. It’s a kaleidoscope of deadpan oddness. It’s impossible to explain the overall plot, but the filmed story of the play is the principal stuff, a melancholy fable about a widowed dad (Jason Schwartzman) who falls in love with a movie star (Scarlett Johansson) during a science fair/alien invasion somewhere in the desert boonies. Their relationship is the emotional core of the story and it definitely achieves some poignant moments. Lots of other movie stars clutter-up the proceedings with their deadpan deliveries and it’s a bit difficult to reconcile it all. Production Design, costumes, hair, etcetera are all strongly Wes Andersony. But the plot and the pace is something new – slow, dry, and music-less. There’s lots of creativity on display, but you are and will always be at the mercy of the filmmaker -- and Anderson and company take their sweet time.