screen |skr_n| |skrin| |skri_n| noun • a blank, typically white or silver surface on which a photographic image is projected : the world's largest movie screen • movies or television; the motion-picture industry : she's a star of the stage as well as the screen. verb [ trans. ] • protect (someone) from something dangerous or unpleasant • evaluate or analyze (something) for its suitability for a particular purpose or application


Tuesday, July 15, 2025

Sinners

"I want your music and I want your stories," says the white vampire, the blood-sucker, offering wealth and eternal life in exchange for the blues. But the Vampire/Irishman was an immigrant too, once, with his own music which also comes from somewhere else - most likely church. There’s analogy on top of allegory on top of parable here, and I’m afraid I’m not enlightened enough to figure it all out. But this mash-up of the cotton fields post-slavery, the immigrant experience, the juke joint jazz, and vampire lore makes for an entertaining and thought-provoking jazz stew. The vampire lore, especially the bit about requiring to be “invited in”, factors heavily in the plot. Filmmakers rely on the conventions of the genre to their great advantage, informing this allegory about cultural appropriation. Despite some weird, pseudo-Lynchian surrealism in the middle, which took me out of the story for a minute, this is an incisive banger, biting off more than it can chew, and trying always to slay.

Saturday, July 12, 2025

Galaxy Quest

I’ve seen this nutty comedy plenty of times. Upon this re-watch, I re-appreciated Justin Long. His spot-on delivery of the awkward, teenage superfan is one of the many things that makes this a classic.

Friday, July 11, 2025

Superman

Americans are kinda dicks. Superman does all this work to try to save everybody and they all just stand around and throw shit at him. There’s no gravitas here. There’s no opera. He’s just an ordinary schlub busting his ass all the time, while he tries to take care of his dumb cousin’s pain-in-the-ass dog. He might as well be Ralph Kramden. Is the message deeper? Are filmmakers trying to compare Supes to the immigrant population? The janitors and farm-workers? Doing the stuff nobody else wants to do? Is it just a coincidence that Ma and Pa Kent are farmers? The righties sure are pissed off about something, supposedly. They probably want less Superman and more Homelander. But Homelander could never land a spark-plug like Lois Lane, so Superman must be doing something right.

Thursday, July 10, 2025

Jurassic World Rebirth

This is a perfectly adequate summer popcorn movie. To think about it too much will cause the sweater to unravel. The plot is predictable. Some dumb family wanders into trouble. Some great white hunters save the day. Some greedy corporate types get chomped. Some homage to Michael Crichton is paid. Some questions are answered, others are not. Toy and ride potential is unmistakable. It’s an exercise in box-checking.

Saturday, July 05, 2025

Mean Girls

Watching this on “movie night” with a group of friends is fun. It’s a pivotal teen comedy from a very specific time, where the wisecrackerey occasionally overshadows Tina Fey/Daniel Waters’ point, which is: Hey, kids! Quit being shitty to each other.

Wednesday, July 02, 2025

My Mom Jayne

Prolific cop thespian Mariska Hargitay spills the tea on her nutty origin story which mostly involves being the daughter of glamor gal Jayne Mansfield. But there are many more twists in her family saga which she documents with great personal effect. If there was an Emmy for most personal film, she would win. Filmmaking is nothing fancy. It’s pretty straightforward and aims to educate and inform. You can’t help but root for the hero as she recalls being batted around from parent to parent and somehow turning out okay.

Monday, June 30, 2025

Children of Men

Still so, so impressive. Taut direction, a break-neck pace, and astute performances. The medical issues and the “fugee” camps keep this eerily relevant. What makes this different from current events is: there’s actually hope for humanity at the end of the film. In reality, there isn’t much.

Sunday, June 29, 2025

Velvet Underground

Watched this 2021 doc about the seminal band by Todd Haynes. Like the band and the other mopers in Andy Warhols’s factory, this has a dull drone to it, like it’s testing the audience to stay alert -- akin to some of Warhol’s long, off-the-wall film experiments. It’s a heroine-induced slog. I would have appreciated a more Ken Burns take with real information and insight.

Saturday, June 28, 2025

F1

F1 SPORTSCASTER: "Even though he's in last place in this race, we're going to be talking about washed-up, old racer Sonny Hayes the entire time because he's the subject of this movie and he's being played by Brad Pitt! Vroom! Blimey! Look at him go!"

Formula One racing seems to be having a moment. Hollywood-izing this very European sport makes perfect sense, and Jerry Bruckheimer is the prophet of choice to send this message – things go VROOM. Writers and filmmakers inject some of the data strategy and timing involved with this team sport, which is interesting if not totally vroomy. Types of tires, lengths of pitstops, and aerodynamics are all dramatized with Bruckheimerian energy. Lots of accented, European engineers fuss about “combat”, “victory”, and different colored flags. Brad Pitt stews a lot, and occasionally grimaces. And the theater we saw this in had vibrating seats. All told it’s a good popcorn movie and you get your money’s worth, even if it is just propaganda.

Wednesday, June 25, 2025

Carry-On

I’ll write this review with the same tool I believe the screenplay was written: with ChatGPT.com.  

PROMPT: Write a snarky, sarcastic, 5 sentence movie review of the 2024 movie "Carry-On" starring Taron Egerton and Jason Bateman. 

 “Carry-On” is the movie equivalent of getting stuck in airport security behind someone with 14 loose change trays and a mysterious metal hip. Taron Egerton gives it his best shot, bless him, trying to act like this isn’t just Die Hard in Terminal C. Jason Bateman looks like he wandered in from a darker, more interesting movie—and decided to stay just to punish us. The plot tries to build suspense but ends up feeling like a TSA instructional video with more blood and worse lighting. By the end, you’re not rooting for anyone—you’re just praying your flight boards early.

Wednesday, June 11, 2025

The Life of Chuck

A surprisingly poignant essay about life and death adapted from a Stephen King short story. This is more about chapters and segments. It relies less on a driving plot or suspense, and more on exploring the themes. Very well acted throughout in a sub-genre I would describe as “What the fuck is going on?” We find out in due time, and it’s a sad, but thoughtful explanation. Describing it in more detail runs the risk of this coming off as corny, but filmmakers approach the story with such unalloyed sincerity that, well, you just have to see it. Or live it.

Sunday, June 08, 2025

Predator: Killer of Killers

Interesting and watchable anime from the "Predator" universe, expanding the world of the “Yautja” (predator species) and their brutal rituals. The capable humans hunted for sport seem to get abducted anyway, unlike the Schwarzeneggers of yore, which feels like a retcon (“retroactive continuity”) intended build-out the universe. That’s fine. Milk it for all it’s worth, movie studio. But just don’t fuck with Prey too much. It’s kinda special.

Saturday, June 07, 2025

Ballerina

At the outset, John Wick was different. Because instead of the old chestnut, “You killed my father…” the bad guys killed his puppy and stole his car. It paints pain and revenge in a different light. Here, we’re back with the “You killed my father…” trope, so the story and plot just isn’t that surprising. Nevertheless, writers and filmmakers include a couple of creative sequences when weapons and settings are used in unique ways, and that makes for a fun, light-hearted night at the movies – but lacking the John Wick gravitas.

Monday, May 26, 2025

Mickey 17

An interesting stick-it-to-the-rich sci-fi parable that reminds me of Moon and all things Terry Gilliam. It’s well-made and unpredictable, but maybe not as “fun” as it could be. It’s grotesque at times, and often sad. Robert Pattinson is good as the disposable person in the parable; naïve and optimistic about the potential for a world without assholes.

The Greatest Beer Run Ever

Inspired by a supposed true story, this has a big heart. For better or worse, it’s pro-military and anti-news media. At first it’s a nutty, period, bro comedy, but gets more and more serious as the war escalates. The main dude, a proficient Zac Efron, does have an arc though, and returns from the war in Vietnam with doubts about it all.

Sunday, May 25, 2025

Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning

I’ve always really liked all of these movies. But there were moments in this when I felt like it was dragging on. Nothing really seems impossible anymore. We know Ethan’s not going to die, right? But if he’s out on the wing of the plane anyway, they might as well milk it for all it’s worth. In any event, there’s only so much popcorn in the bucket…

Monday, May 19, 2025

The Boys in the Boat

"Chariots of Water." Everything about the look and the production is top-notch, but the story feels so over-done and corny. George Clooney can direct – we know that. But the script here tries so hard to be an inspirational, period sports-movie. It’s too predictable and doesn’t really resonate.

Better Man

Generally, I admire risk. Here, filmmakers try to usurp the formula by embracing it wholeheartedly, except for one crazy change. You almost have to do something nutty like this to tell the Robbie Williams story, because the music itself is kind of ho-hum. So they make Robbie a chimp for the entire movie – and commit to the bit. It jumps around from genre to genre. Sometimes it’s a rousing dance musical and sometimes it’s a Ken Loach, kitchen sink drama. It’s an interesting experiment, but it’s too long and ultimately a bit confusing.

Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker

Re-watched this on the plane. Most of the time when the Star Wars nerds talk about this movie, they complain about Emperor Palpatine “returning” somehow. But I don’t have a huge problem with that. The series has firmly established cloning, projecting your consciousness through space, and mind control. So the emperor having another body in which to beam his psyche is fine with me. There are plenty of other logic problems in this, which I don’t mind that much. Bottom line: you have to hand it to Daisy Ridley, who carries this series with physicality and charisma. IMHO, she’s an excellent bearer of the Skywalker legacy.

Sunday, April 20, 2025

The Amateur

This didn’t really move my needle. I like Rami Malek and I like revenge, but if you’re signing up for a revenge movie, the villain needs to die, preferably by having his face ripped off by the hero (ref Fury Road). The thinking man’s comeuppance here doesn’t really satisfy.

Monday, April 14, 2025

Moneyball

It’s been a while since I’ve watched this baseball/data movie and it’s still impressive they made a sports movie about spreadsheets. This wants to depict the old guys with the old way of doing things as the villains and the nerds as the heroes. But knowing what I know about baseball, some heart and intuition is still required to play the game.

Saturday, March 29, 2025

Death of a Unicorn

This intends to be a horror-comedy (the trailer played pretty funny), but it’s executed like a straight-forward horror creature-feature. It also intends to stick-it to the rich, but the need for a body count means that some misguided scientists and employees also get horned. What remains is a horror movie that’s not very scary and a comedy that’s not very funny. The premise is the strongest part of this. Themes involving pillaging the natural world to monetize important medical cures make for satisfying impalings. The cast, especially Rudd and Ortega, are up to the task. But it won’t resonate. There’s a magical Sam Raimi-ish, Bruce Campbell-ish ingredient that’s lacking.

Sunday, March 16, 2025

Inside Out 2

The teenager trying to fit in and befriend the cool kids, while shunning her old, nerdy friends is a typical movie problem. We’ve seen it 10 million times in every third film throughout film history. But Pixar knows how to make shit poignant, and they do a graceful, bang-up job here. While not as surprising as the first movie, this natural sequel is executed masterfully.

Friday, March 14, 2025

Black Bag

This is one of those movies where you have to pay really close attention in the first 10 minutes or you’ll be lost the whole time. Unfortunately, I saw this at the Alamo Drafthouse and there was all kinds of commotion and drink orders and stuff, so I was a little behind. Long, dimly-lit dinner scenes dominate the plot. Soderbergh and company expertly tell this bickery, low-action spy story well, but it’s not much of an adrenalin rush. Secrets are overheard, lies are told, and doubts are expressed. The stakes are high because the secret spy software could cause a nuclear meltdown, but that’s all offscreen. The real onscreen weapon is Cate Blanchett’s cheekbones, which seem especially pointy and chiseled here, which either means she had too much of something injected, or it was purposely done by the filmmakers to make us suspect she’s the villain. Either way, the moral of the story is solid: if you’re married, stick together and you may fall into a small bit of unaccounted-for spy money.

Sunday, March 09, 2025

The Monkey

In the lexicon of Stephen King movies, there’s pre-Misery and post-Misery (with exceptions). This feels like a pre-Misery, non-Kubrickian adaptation, chock-full of overacting, goofy supporting characters, and playful violence. You don’t really have a lot to think about on the drive home, here. Death is coming and you can’t stop it. Also, toy monkeys are creepy. 

Thursday, February 27, 2025

The Wild Robot

“Number 5 is alive!” There’s oodles of cute animals and heart-warming themes in this solid and lovingly-derivative animation. Environmental and parental motifs abound. It’s inspirational to see filmmakers successfully attempt to float a positive message out to humanity in these downtrodden times. 

Monday, February 24, 2025

Captain America: Brave New World

I wanted to like this, and watching it was a perfectly enjoyable experience. Anthony Mackie has the authentic bravado and lots of things go “swoosh” and “crash.” But it does feel like an afterthought. The Marvel universe painted itself into a corner. Where do you go after the Deadpool-Spiderman-time-travel-multiverse? So we’re back to political intrigue, which is fine. But it’s not rock-concert exciting.

Sunday, February 23, 2025

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

I’m not wildly enthusiastic about these Venom movies. They just pass the time on a plane. But for better or for worse, you have to hand it to Tom Hardy. He’s often in scenes by himself, playing off himself in the form of this primal alter-ego, and his technique and commitment is respectable.

Wednesday, February 19, 2025

Anora

An extremely well-directed indie gem with great performances. But! The editor could’ve taken one more pass. Not necessarily to reduce the running time, but to shift focus away from the mouthy gangsters, and back on to Ani, the hero. Her performance is so volatile and complicated. It’s a historically brave and vulnerable turn from Mikey Madison. The audience often realizes things at the same time that she does, and her reactions are utterly human and heartbreaking. Yet another movie that came out in 2024 that concludes with a woman collapsing and crying in a pitiful heap. I’ve asked in this space before: Hey, women! Are you okay?

Tuesday, February 18, 2025

The Substance

Where did this script come from? How did this movie get made? How the HELL did this grotesque fever-dream get a Best Picture nomination? Everyone involved seems to be fully committed and in-on-the-gag. And it’s just about the riskiest big-swing you could make in Hollywood. You can’t help but admire the huge gamble this is by Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley, et al. Ultimately, the parable of the beauty myth devolves into full-blown early Peter Jackson/David Cronenberg, Grand Guignol perversion and the point starts to get lost. In the final third, when it really becomes ridiculous and we’ve learned all we can, we start to wish they would just wrap things up. It gets silly and gross. But man, oh man, did they light a fuse and say something to the world. “A” for effort. Well-played, guys.

A Real Pain

The difference between someone neurotic & slightly anxious and someone deeply manic & bi-polar is on full display in this well-written, complicated road-trip, buddy dramedy. The resolution is foggy. The trip ends. But Kieran Culkin’s emotional basket-case hasn’t found any peace, and that’s a bummer. Should movies resolve? Or is it okay for them to just stop? Don’t ask me. I just work here.

Sunday, February 16, 2025

The Gorge


STUDIO EXECUTIVE: We need a new movie about a sniper. 
STUDIO BOSS: Meh. It’s been done. 
STUDIO EXECUTIVE: How about a sniper who falls in love? 
STUDIO BOSS: Kinda stale. 
STUDIO EXECUTIVE: …with another sniper! 
STUDIO BOSS: (yawning) And... 
STUDIO EXECUTIVE: But wait: there’s more! They’re on the opposite sides of... (thinking quickly of a metaphor) a deep gorge
STUDIO BOSS: To do what? 
STUDIO EXECUTIVE: Snipe! 
STUDIO BOSS: Snipe what? 
STUDIO EXECUTIVE: Uh… zombies, of course! 
STUDIO BOSS: At some point they're going to FALL INTO the gorge full of zombies, right?
STUDIO EXECUTIVE: You can bet your sweet bippy!
STUDIO BOSS: And there will be zombies riding zombie horses, right?
STUDIO EXECUTIVE: Uh... Of course. Sure. Why not? It’s all a metaphor for societies' growing divisions and… 
STUDIO BOSS: Yeah, yeah, yeah... How pretty are the actors? 
STUDIO EXECUTIVE: The prettiest. 
STUDIO BOSS: Sold.

Friday, February 07, 2025

Becoming Led Zeppelin

Why should a rockumentary follow the rags-to-riches, sex and drugs formula? Led Zeppelin’s new contribution is significant for all the debaucherous details it leaves out. The drugs and the groupies and the heroine are absent. To fill the space there are long takes of live recordings; fantastic renditions from their first record. Band-member, talking-head interviews go into detail about the recording and engineering techniques, as well as shrewd business dealings giving them all the power. The IMAX of it all emphasizes the sound mix, not so much the picture, and the movie sounds great. Insight about the band members isn’t deep, but it isn’t intended to be. It’s about the rock and roll musical process, inventing heavy metal, and it’s a rich listen.

Friday, January 24, 2025

The Brutalist

 In my imagination, the schematic of how this movie was made starts with the filmmakers wondering why "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay" hadn’t been adapted into a movie yet. And when they learn the rights are all tied up and it’s in development hell, they make an end run – lifting many of the themes and concepts, but making it about an architect instead of a comic book artist. I’m surprised more critics and culture nerds haven’t pointed out the similarities, because there are many. There are also similarities (not in a bad way) to the various sagas about tycoons and money. There Will Be Blood. The Wolf of Wall StreetCitizen Kane. The Getty movies. The list goes on, and the thesis being demonstrated is billionaires are creeps. The serious approach to the subject allows for heavy acting and situations, and not much room for levity. All the technical aspects are strong and the acting by the leads is exceptional. But upon walking out of the theater, instead of feeling satisfied by this beautiful epic, I felt a little icky and empty. Like the architecture too, I suppose. The negative is as important as the positive space. It’s all very skillful and deliberate, which means there’s a LOT to admire. Even the credits are interesting. But you won’t be humming a happy little tune as you leave the theater. It ain’t Barbie.

Monday, December 30, 2024

Emilia Perez

There’s really nothing else like it (Evita, maybe?). Zoe Saldana, who is neither green nor blue in this, is the anchor and guide. She acts, sings, and dances our way through the story, which without giving too much away, involves a drug cartel, a kingpin, a hampered trophy wife, and some light-hearted show-stoppers. It’s twisty and original, and it just FEELS risky. I wish we lived in a world where artistic risks were daily and common, and we the public didn’t feel obligated to shout from the rooftops that everyone should rush out and see a movie just because it isn’t the next Lion King thing or whatever. But we don’t. So it is risky and refreshing and original. It’s also part of a trend this year that all of the good movies are about women and their problems and their inner lives, which has been interesting. So while it’s not for everybody, it’s worth a look.

Saturday, December 28, 2024

Nightbitch

What a weird, exciting, emotional journey from Amy Adams, et al. This is one of my favorites of the year. Amy Adams is superb, as always. It’s a low-budget, low-key parable. The production value won’t knock your socks off. But it’s ORIGINAL. It swings for the fences in its emotional aspirations and for that it deserves a bevy of scooby snacks. It’s been a down year for movies. A lot of lifeless misses. A lot of unmemorable, run-of-the-mill stuff. But in the middle of it all there’ve been several, edgy, risky movies about women and their identities, which has been a treat. This is one of those – a low-budget, indie feast for the intellectually hungry and emotionally primed.

Thursday, December 26, 2024

Nosferatu

Fantastic and serious, it’s a treat to see the old horror legends regarded so highly. Filmmakers sink their teeth into beautiful sets and costumes, the acting is first-class, and the plot unfolds expertly. It’s a remake of a knock off. So it’s not like we haven’t seen bits of this before, but it’s a fun night at the movies.

Wednesday, December 25, 2024

A Complete Unknown

James Mangold knows how to deliver a musical biopic. The quality of the filmmaking is first-rate. And maybe this says more about Robert Zimmerman than it does about the film, but in dramatizing the life of the influential songwriter, one would hope to learn or reveal more about Dylan’s inner life, or motives, or hopes and dreams, or pizza preferences. But one doesn’t. There are elaborate music numbers encompassing crucial moments in music history, and these are revelatory and amazing. But you don’t get a window into the dude himself. You see more into the soul of his downtrodden girlfriend Sylvie, beautifully and emotionally rendered by Elle Fanning, than you do about Bob. Maybe that’s the point. He’s meant to stay unknown, like the title says. A terrific night at the movies, albeit emotionally superficial.

Sunday, December 22, 2024

Violent Night

A rewatch of the Santa/Die Hard yarn. After several viewings, the little kernel of an idea that stays interesting is that Santa was a marauding Viking a thousand years ago. Will the expected sequel expand on this?

Saturday, December 21, 2024

They Live

It's been a LOOOONG time since I first saw this, if ever. There’s good social satire here, but the plot and the action is old fashioned and clunky. Doesn’t really stand the test of time and is nowhere NEAR the quality of Carpenter’s classics, i.e. The Thing.

Hot Frosty

A satire of a Hallmark Christmas movie which also tries to function as a Hallmark Christmas movie. Checks a lot of revisionist Frank Capra boxes. Ultimately, this is weird. Yes, there are some “wink, wink” laughs, but trying to ride the fence and have it both ways leaves a WTF feeling at the end. Netflix is smart to try and seize some of the Christmas movie business. There’s more opportunities to binge there without commercials, which is what I assume the demo would want. And perhaps efforts to distinguish itself from the tropes of the Hallmarks will feature more goofiness and originality. Is this movie bad? Yes. But it’s an interesting failure.

Sunday, December 01, 2024

Heretic

I’m normally not impressed when filmmakers play with ambiguity. I often think it’s a pretentious crutch allowing creators to hobble along because they don’t know what story they’re telling. Here, though, I think it’s justified. This story is about faith and religion and what could be MORE ambiguous. Conversations between the co-leads, naïve missionaries, tackle Mormon inconsistencies right away. The young women are awash with doubt, unlike their over-confident kidnapper, who relishes winning arguments to the point where he reveals himself (spoiler alert) to be a psycho. Acting is first-rate. Hugh Grant crushes the talkative, befuddled scoundrel. Suspension of disbelief is required. Abduction logistics are sketchy and filmmakers finesse the timing and the location for maximum suspense. I wish the end was a little clearer, but otherwise, it’s a small and neat horror yarn with things to say about the testaments.

Saturday, November 30, 2024

Music by John Williams

Making a nice documentary about a beloved guy isn’t really a wildly ambitious endeavor, but it’s a necessary one. Cross-referencing what credit pops up on the list of top grossing movies of all time, it’s John Williams. He’s a national treasure and he can take a great movie and make it better; monumental. Not surprisingly, the doc feels too short. How do you cover the composer’s whole amazing career in one two-hour slot? You’re going to leave them wanting more.

Friday, November 29, 2024

Wicked

I never saw the live play. I don’t know the story and I had no idea what to expect. When I saw that the running time was two and a half hours, I assumed it was full coverage of the musical. When the “to be continued” popped up at the end, I was flabbergasted. I guess you gotta make money to pay for all of those beautiful sets and steam-punk trains and stuff. You can’t deny that the music talent is stellar. As there should be, there are several big music numbers that blow the roof off. The dichotomy of the nerd and the princess works really well, and I sensed why this might appeal to young women and theater nerds with the acceptance/discrimination themes. There’s a crowd-pleasing, fan-service aspect to this that I can’t quite describe. Filmmakers build-up to and forecast big entrances and musical numbers with almost a wink and a nod to the rabid fanbase. “We have an inside joke…” I have no objection to this. You have to play to the fans, not the randos. But it felt a bit exclusive to THIS rando; cluelessly trying to interpret a secret language.

Friday, November 22, 2024

Gladiator 2

Sir Ridley Scott is 86, and every couple of years he comes out with a big movie, and that’s nothing to sneeze at. There’s an epic eye-candy aspect to this, but emotionally it’s sub-par. It’s fun to see guys getting beheaded, etc. But the important moments lack “punch” and that might be the fault of the script. It’s one thing to watch a villain get killed. But it’s another, better level to watch the hero kill the villain. Unfortunately, the script doesn’t allow for that. It doesn’t seem like there were any personal stakes considered by the filmmakers. It’s a sequel to a very popular best picture winner. The job is to not fuck it up. And they don’t. It's fun in a "Gladiator-riding-a-rhinoceros" way. And it'll make money. So, there’s plenty of swords and plenty of sandals, but it won’t resonate in any kind of emotional way.

Friday, November 08, 2024

Super/Man: The Christopher Reeve Story

In terms of an emotional journey, this doc has a lot going for it. The Superman stuff and the paralysis stuff has all the ingredients for a boo-hoo extravaganza. But’s it’s not like this is so uniquely or expertly made. For comparison, I found Still, the Michael J Fox doc, to be more emotional and the Jim Henson doc, Jim Henson Idea Man, to be more informative. It suffices to say that it’s a worthwhile doc to show how much impact Reeve had on the cultural views of the wheelchair bound and the changes that happened because of him.

Wednesday, November 06, 2024

¡Casa Bonita Mi Amor!

It’s basically one of those restaurant rescue shows from the Food Network. It’s significant that the new owners keep saying what a stupid purchase it was and what a huge waste of money it is. But they’re doing it because… love? Also poignant when co-owner Trey Parker realizes he can’t go to the restaurant and enjoy it because he’ll be recognized. The resolution of the rescue has yet to be fully determined, but reservations are booked out for a few months in advance, so…

Tuesday, November 05, 2024

Red Lights

How did filmmakers get this incredible cast for this so-so 2012 movie? The scientific debunking of mentalists and hucksters is sharp and intriguing. Cillian Murphy captivates as the paranormal debunker with a hidden agenda. The rest of the cast is stellar. But things about this are wacky. Askew. Cattywampus. Off. Well-known actors are sidelined, unnecessary scenes go on way too long, and the conclusion must be explained through voiceover. It aspires to be a modern-day, big budget Scanners meets X-Files. But the pacing feels scattered and directionless. The plot feels unrealized and unmotivated. This is supposed to be my expertise. I’ve put in my 10,000 hours. But I can’t explain it. Something is just… off.

Monday, November 04, 2024

Train to Busan

Zombie retrospective. The zombie movie cream-of-the-crop, to some. Production design is clean and slick, which makes the arrival of the fast zombies and the spraying blood all the more dreadful. It starts with routine domestic issues, and a sympathetic Dad trying to do his best. When the outbreak begins, Dad makes a few selfish moves to save his young daughter, but efforts to dial back hero’s sympathetic qualities ring false. We know he’s a good guy. Don’t bother with a ginned-up arc. There aren’t too many young children in zombie narratives, I suppose for production safety reasons, but having a little girl in this gives the whole spectacle a layer of vulnerability. Filmmakers intend for this to add HEART to the story, which more often than not, works. Sequences are extremely well-choreographed. Lots of glass, and windows being the only thing that stands between the heroes and the zombie hoards. The pace, like a speeding train, doesn’t let up, and the editing is expert. Is this the Citizen Kane of zombie movies? Kinda. Maybe. If you don’t count OPENING NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD.

Sunday, November 03, 2024

28 Days Later

Zombie retrospective. I remember reading about this before it came out. Film nerds (like me) were very skeptical that a theatrical feature could be shot on consumer video cameras and not feel cheap and gimmicky. But Danny Boyle proves with his track record that he welcomes risk. It’s scary. Scenes on the abandoned London streets are truly eerie. And Cillian Murphy’s commitment to the bit is unwavering. As usual, zombie parables inevitably chart how quickly people can turn on each other when the undead start lumbering around. There’s an unsavory rapey-ness to the final third of this. Thankfully, revenge is sweet. Interesting, too, to watch the DVD of this, with the alternate endings (I can’t remember the last time I watched a DVD). Filmmakers conclude with a small amount of hope for mankind. But they still had their doubts.

Friday, October 25, 2024

Hearts of Atlantis

All I remember about seeing this movie 20-some years ago is that it was boring. Well, guess what? It’s still boring. A lot of loose plot threads and almost-thriller beats makes this kind of dull. Even the terribly important paranormal/ESP aspects feel glossed over and hampered. Hints at mind reading is a varietal of Chekhov's gun: you gotta use it and it’s gotta matter.

Thursday, October 24, 2024

Conclave

Ralph Fiennes and his ornate robes are the Superglue that holds this Vatican thriller together. The costumes and sets are all perfect and artful and the acting is expert. Political maneuvers are often achieved through mannered implications and nuanced facial expressions, as the important cardinal dudes try to pick a new pope. The top-tier cast is up for it. But thanks to Fiennes stoic character, the plot points tend to resolve themselves pretty smoothly and the resolution comes out of nowhere. It’s an amusing surprise, but its purpose seems to be to render the rest of the plot much ado about clothing. It’s all about ceremony - the underlying truths will be kept secret. Still, a highly competent drama for audiences resistant to car chases.

Wednesday, October 23, 2024

Resident Evil

Continuing the zombie retrospective. In this crucial contribution to the zombie lexicon, the parable here eats itself. An evil corporation makes zombies, but also the zombie virus antidote. But trouble starts when the whistleblowers steal the formula and then try to sabotage the zombie lab. So who’s at fault? Like they say: zombie outbreaks are caused by a series of mistakes rather than just one. Be that as it may, supermodels in combat boots and red negligées are ready to karate-kick the zombie hoards.

Saturday, October 05, 2024

World War Z

Zombie retrospective. Rewatched this big-screen zombie epic for the first time since 2013. The plot is very basic, and it only feels epic because of the many, many zombies. Brad Pitt and his hair do a lot of heroic things, but they (the military?) MAKE him. They tell him they’re going to kick his family off of the safe ship unless he helps, which is pretty messed up. This was supposed to be a launch pad for a whole series of World War Z movies, alas.

Shaun of the Dead

Zombie retrospective. Culturally, one of the more successful zomedies, the plot presupposes what a couple of English slackers would do during the zombie apocalypse without the guns that are so easily accessible to Americans. Hypothetically, could a slacker rise to the occasion and save his loves ones? Probably not. But can he learn to be a hero at any rate, which will impress his girlfriend? I’m having trouble see the parable in this one. For what it’s worth, Simon Pegg delivers some above-par emotional acting, running around in an elevated-level of stress and weeping authentically when the loved ones are eaten. Turn off your brains, and enjoy Edgar Wright’s quick cuts and Pegg’s stressed-out bloke.

Friday, September 27, 2024

Megalopolis

“I’m Francis Coppola. Welcome to my Ted Talk.” The social media meanies are saying that this is a “piece of shit” and “the worst movie ever made.” Neither of those things are true. It’s bad. Yes. But it’s more dull and dumb than sickeningly awful. The loose plot structure involving inventers, urban planners, mayors, and rich assholes serves only for the characters to stand atop interesting sets and pontificate about the state of the world and the future. It’s an essay. 

At first it seems like the hero is Adam Driver (“Cesar”) but in fact, as Kristen Haldeman Kauffman pointed out,  the hero seems to be Natalie Emmanuel (“Julia”) the rich, well-read, party-girl daughter of the mayor. She falls in love with Cesar the inventor, and seems to re-direct her purpose in life to build him up, serve him, and bear children. But she also brokers peace between the families and factions. This is heroic (ibid). It’s no coincidence that this seems like the role that Coppola’s wife Eleanor played for him - the doting wife; the supporting role of the genius. 

But, I mean… It’s like it was edited with farm equipment. Scenes go on way too long. Pointless scenes stay in. Bad lines stay in. The music starts when it shouldn’t and ends when it shouldn’t. And there’s WAY, WAY, WAY too much Shia LaBeouf in drag. At times it feels like a William Castle prank, like when an usher at our theater “participates,” paying homage to Rocky Horror. Is it bad? Yes. Am I recommending it? No, I am not. But it’s possible that within this ugly chunk of marble there was a beautiful sculpture that the old man just didn’t have time to finish.

Monday, September 23, 2024

From Russia With Lev

Does this count as a movie? I’m not sure. Rachel Maddow seems to think so. Lev Parnas and his wife Svetlana Parnas recount his weird trek into tRump’s inner circle and how he was sent to Ukraine to dig up dirt on Hunter Biden. He’s a direct and convincing man who was hypnotized by the “glamour” of the former guy and all the golden toilets and stuff. An epiphany forces him to blow the whistle. There were efforts in the editing room to make this “nuttier” and more farcical, which weren’t needed. Just point the camera at Lev and Svetlana and it’s captivating.

Thursday, September 12, 2024

The Killer's Game

The hit man anti-hero. The wise old man. The damsel/dame. A murderers row of goons and henchman. “Rules,” i.e. self-imposed ethics relating to the world of assassins. It’s another one of this year’s “hitman’s greatest hits.” The tone of this is wildly inconsistent. At times, it's a serious, dramatic thriller where death is feared. At times it’s like a Stephen Chow kung-fu comedy, packed with nutty, colorful assassins, weird weapons, and over-the-top cartoony kills. It’s like the director wanted this to be his “directing reel.” “Look! I can do action, I can do funny action, I can do artsy, I can do drama.” But all at the expense of an interesting plot or heroic characters. The quest of the hero is just to survive the night. But there’s absolutely no heart or subtext here. When John Wick starts massacring baddies, we love it because we CARE. I think it’s a cautionary tale. Adopt a tone and a style and stick with it. Get the audience behind the hero. Efforts to create hilariously creative set pieces in this come off as disingenuous. All that being said, Dave Bautista is a likeable if funny-looking hero and can carry a movie – even a dumb one.

Tuesday, September 10, 2024

Damsel

I was surprised by this well-written and well-produced princess vs dragon tale on Netflix. The plot is full of twists, reveals, and reversals. The acting is adept. The fairy tale effects are admirable. And as sappy as it is to say: there is a positive message to young women about being suspicious of traditions. There is a woman vs woman theme here, though – a fairy tale convention. Only a hint of the women trying to get on the same page at the end, but satisfying, nonetheless. Yet another movie that seems like it should have been in theaters (nothing against Netflix).

Monday, September 09, 2024

Jim Henson Idea Man

Good Ol’ Ron Howard, out there making the safe choices, as usual. Making a loving documentary about a beloved person is about as artistically safe as it gets. But old and new interviews are insightful and the animation and playful interludes are cool. Of course, it gets meepy at the end. When the big, yellow bird who was one of your best friends as a kid sings “It’s not Easy Being Green” at Henson’s funeral. It’s an inspiring doc about an artist with an incredible legacy.

Thursday, September 05, 2024

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

It’s hard to know how long you can wait before you make a sequel. Is 37 years too long? Apparently not if most of the cast, the director, and the composer are still around. Some of the attempts to involve the father without including the “cancelled” actor from the original are awkward. But otherwise, everybody looks like they’re having a blast. It loses a little steam in the middle, but the Jimmy Webb conclusion is so inspired and nutty, I was in awe. Kudos to all involved. A fun night at the movies.

Sunday, September 01, 2024

Annihilation

Finally caught this 2018 body-snatching sci-fi from Gen X dystopia wiz Alex Garland. The simple plot isn’t wildly original and could just as easily have been an old Roger Corman movie. But this is all about style, all about flourish. Filmmakers take their time, establish characters, and establish MOOD. And man, oh, man can these folks create a mood. All the filmmaking/film authoring techniques are required: movement, light, sound, music. All intended, it seems, to make alien assimilation appear to be beautiful. Oh! And also terrifying. The cast of mostly A-list stars is top-notch. It’s risky to make the kids sit still through some of this as it creeps along. But the climax is scary and the conclusion is a fun riff on an old sci-fi trope.

Saturday, August 31, 2024

Blink Twice

“Blink twice if you’re in danger.” That’s the gist of the title, and a running joke between the women who hop on a private jet with a billionaire to party on his private island. It’s a horror movie, belonging in the sub-genre of “What-the-fuck-is-going-on” and the rapey truth unravels expertly thanks to some assured filmmaking. The big reveal, the mid-point twist, happens a little later than it should, but that doesn’t preclude suspense and well-engineered creepiness. It proficiently devolves into an all-out horror revenge-fantasy, concludes, and satisfies. What it achieves remarkably well, too, is depicting smart people making bad decisions, KNOWING and ACKNOWLEDGING that they’ve made bad decisions, and being smart enough to know that does NOT forgive other people’s evil behavior.

Saturday, August 17, 2024

Alien: Romulus

When a young woman is fighting an alien xenomorph on a crippled spaceship, she must be in her underwear. Them’s the rules. A lot of other rules, tropes, and callbacks to previous Aliens in this scary and well-made chapter. There’s a legit pattern now, and a lot of it is predictable. An innocent will be face-hugged. A synthetic will betray the hero. Acid blood will cripple the ship. It goes on. But it’s a skillfully made bundle of lore. Director Fede Alvarez knows how to “fan-service” and uses his excellent sense of timing to scare – beyond the typical jump scares. When something new DOES come along, a biological abomination, you don’t get the sense that it’s going to be sticking around for very long. Spoiler alert. Thematically, all of the “Alien” movies depict a worse-case-scenario of people caught in between a battle between biology and technology, and the exploitation of one for the other for profit, of course. One of the lessons is: don’t let a corporation decide what’s human.

Thursday, August 08, 2024

Twisters

“Oh, no! A big tornado! Let’s drive straight into it!” 
“What? That’s crazy. You’ll get us all killed.” 
“Do you believe in science or don’t you?” 
“Okay, drive!” 

 “Oh, no! Another member of our team died in a tornado!” 
“Why does this keep happening to us??” 
“They died doing what they love: driving straight into tornados.” 
“Say! Isn’t that a tornado?” 
“We should drive into it!” 
“Great idea!” 
“For science, bitches!” 

 Up next: Irwin Allen and Steven Spielberg Present: Twister Part 3: Twistees!

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Rewatched this influential, trope-filled, 1997 horror movie; a chapter from the old guard and a relic from the popcorn-horror before-times. Horror movies function best as cautionary tales. And this establishes a strong parable about taking responsibility for one’s actions, etc. The plot, however, is pretty boring, and the filmmakers compensate for this by lingering on the bodies of the prepossessing teenagers while trying to milk suspense. For the most part, the cast is game and, without having much to work with, expertly mine suspense out of thin air. It entertains, but it doesn’t really surprise.

Thursday, July 25, 2024

Deadpool & Wolverine

Many of the superhero products lately have exploited the multi-verse. It’s a time-travel, timeline, do-over logic which allows filmmakers an excuse to not follow a serialized canon and instead do their own thing with the same actors.
The Flash, The X-Men, and various Spidermans have all played with this do-over, what-if logic. So a satire of the “multi-verse” was inevitable. Chock full of comic book Easter eggs, fan service tributes, and real world references, its main entertainment purpose is to make the audience feel smart. “Oh, I get that reference! That’s an X-Men reference! That’s a Loki reference! That’s Ryan’s real-world wife.” It’s less of a story and more of a comic riddle. It rewards all the many hours of previous moviegoing. But it’s full of easy, low-hanging laughs – unfolding as a really violent buddy comedy. It won’t really resonate as a super-hero story, but as a comedy it sticks the landing.

Tuesday, July 23, 2024

Barb and Star go to Vista del Mar

Is like Dumb and Dumber for the ladies. Really silly, and at times laugh-out-loud funny, this is a comedy musical with two corny, ordinary middle-aged gals going on vacation. Writer Kristen Wiig also plays the villain, a wildly-conceived weirdo who can’t tan and has a funny vendetta. It’s kind of amazing this even got made. It’s silly to the point of being quirky, and it’s single-minded in its frivolity. It’s like they intentionally made it to be a cult comedy… for the ladies.

Saturday, July 20, 2024

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes

Francis Lawrence knows how to set a scene and he knows how to move a camera. The physical spaces are striking. But the story here is kind of nihilistic and meh. Everybody loses, it seems, and love is dead. It’s also a musical! Several bluegrass/country songs are performed. Jason Schwartzman is really the only one who comes out unscathed here, devouring scenery with impeccable comic relief. Too bad the fascists win, but I guess that’s how it happens in reality, too.

Saturday, July 13, 2024

The Fall Guy

Despite the overuse of one particularly mediocre KISS song, this is pretty good. It’s clever, and at times tries very hard to be so. The plot isn’t wildly original, but takes a big swing by deepening the premise of the old TV show in a tiny but crucial way. The surprises come mostly from zingers. The script feels like it had an army of wisecrackers and zing-writers polish this within an inch of its life. It makes for a fun, light-hearted watch.

Saturday, July 06, 2024

Galaxy Quest

Rewatched this love-letter to fandom. It’s still sharp and has a lot of laughs.

Wednesday, June 19, 2024

Fast Charlie

FAST CHARLIE has Pierce Brosnan as a fixer for a mob family, and works on the premise that they’re his true family and his closest allies. So, when a turf-war results in everyone in his mob being killed, he takes them out one by one. Therefore, the revenge part of it is less impactful because we don’t really get to know these people. But there IS a key relationship – a love-interest/father daughter thing with a young woman getting dragged into the conflict. It’s a sweet relationship, but, I mean, she’s WAY WAY younger. 45 to his 71. If it wasn’t handsome Pierce Brosnan it would be downright creepy. There’s also a regional, local color aspect to this movie, which means the sense of place is a big priority. Be that as it may, it’s still an old-man, one-man-army and he drives off into the sunset with his new lady-friend.

Tuesday, June 18, 2024

The Beekeeper

A pulpy revenge fantasy and works really well because the initial inciting incident, a nice old lady being scammed by a boiler-room full of cyber-thieves, is something everyone can relate to. Lots of “Oh, no. You pissed off the wrong guy…” dread, like John Wick. The rest of the plot is clunky and involves a lot of coincidences and hare-brained implausibilities. But Statham kills a bunch of bad guys and that makes it really enjoyable. There's no central relationship. He’s a one-man army with NO buddies, which is lacking. But still really fun. 

Monday, June 10, 2024

Hit Man

I was thinking that this was a movie about a hit man. But (spoiler alert) it’s not about a hit man. It’s a comedic noir, focused on the central romantic relationship. There are a couple of REALLY well-directed “two-hander” scenes that are, like, masterly in the reveals and suspense. The characters making choices, and twists that result unfold so skillfully. The script never disguises who the villain is and makes it so you really want them to die. Also, good use of cell phones. It's light, but skillfully done. I think this kid Linklater has a future.

Sunday, June 09, 2024

The Creator

I would like to have seen this on the big screen. The effects are cool, but it’s a hodge-podge. A mess of sci-fi ideas in an overly-cooked stew. But it works because it’s EMOTIONAL. Like really, really. Like, “wow” them in the end.

Thursday, May 23, 2024

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

The prologue is a fantastic short film itself. A long action sequence that fills out Furiosa’s backstory and more clearly motivates her need for revenge. It’s riveting. The three-act movie doesn’t start until about an hour in, when Anya Taylor Joy takes over the role. She’s always been good, and here, without saying much, crushes this. This is partially helped by her big expressive eyes, which feel like a combination of a Margaret Keane painting and an A.I. (“A EYE”) generated pixie-person. Structurally this movie is completely topsy-turvy. The climactic chase, the one with the most dramatic stakes and the one during which the character’s goals and alliances completely shift, is in the middle of the movie. The finale is like a Samuel Beckett or David Mamet play. A dialogue-heavy two-hander in an asymmetrical void. The whole series is populated with mouthy carny types, and Chris Pine/Pratt/Evans/Hemsworth delivers his dangerous goofball impressively. Because we know eventually what’s going to happen, this doesn’t pack the suspenseful punch of Fury Road. It’s just a piece of the puzzle; a kind of a weird piece. But holy cow do you get your money’s worth.

Sunday, May 19, 2024

Totally Killer

Is going back in time to help out your parents, or your younger self, becoming a sub-genre? There’s plenty to recommend in this horror movie version of “Bill & Ted’s” but it’s not the hill I’m gonna die on. Kiernan Shipka is becoming a leading lady, and maneuvers her way through the gimmicky plot easily and believably as the “final girl”. At times this is pretty funny, but are those “nostalgia” laughs? As in, “Look at her hair! That’s so ‘80s!”? Yet another movie that seems like it should have gone to theaters, but maybe I don’t understand the distribution business as well as I could.

Monday, April 22, 2024

Rebel Moon – Part Two: The Scargiver

I checked out the latest space opera where a group of farmers on a small moon rise up and rebel against the fascists with their laser guns and their laser swords. There’s a bunch of robots and spaceships the special effects are pretty good. Is it a Star War? No, it is not. For better or worse, you have to hand it to Sofia Boutella. The Algerian dancer is not particularly famous, although she’s been in a few big movies. But she’s fully committed; fighting and crying and shaving her head. She can kick ass and be vulnerable. And this entire Zack Snyder series is resting on her shoulders. (One thing you can say absolutely for certain is she’s a MUCH better actor than Gina Carano.) Certain sequences in this are awesome and beautiful to behold, but others are so corny and plastic. Snyder is still in love with slow motion and glowing, burning embers flying at the actors. Everything is too much of this, too much of that. There’s no modulation from the overly important, serious tone. So, it’s a mixed bag.

Friday, April 19, 2024

Abigail

So, everyone knows: children and ballerinas are ALL evil, right? With a premise this wildly entertaining, the execution only needs to be serviceable for this to be a success. So, while it’s not overly ambitious, it checks all the boxes with the requisite number of (spoiler alert) exploding people and pools of dead bodies and pithy wisecracks. With 2 (two) actors from Downton Abby, the cast is all good, covered in blood and hamming it up with Grand Guignol flourish. The pre-pubescent vampire ballerina (Alisha Weir) is WAY better than one would ever expect, which holds the whole thing together. The pro-wrestling climax is not as surprising or as original as it’s great predecessor Ready or Not, so walking out of the theater is not as much of a rush. But it’s still a sweet, bloody confection to be enjoyed if not overtly admired.

Tuesday, April 09, 2024

Joy

This eluded me when it came out in 2015. The ad campaign made it look like David O Russell’s sub-par sequel to Silver Linings Playbook and American Hustle. Jennifer Lawrence, Robert De Niro, and Bradley Cooper AGAIN?? Reviews were bad, even though JLAW got another Oscar nomination. I never knew what it was about, other than another bickering family. But suddenly this appears on the airplane menu, and this was GOOD. The reductive premise is it’s a biopic about a woman who invents a mop. But the obstacles she faces, especially from her own family, make this interesting and turmoil-filled. Despite melodramatic diversions (there’s a “soap-opera” refrain throughout), I found myself fully invested, pulling for the hero, and appreciating the happy ending.

Friday, April 05, 2024

The First Omen

It’s called The First Omen, but it picks-up in the middle of a Catholic Church conspiracy where there’ve already been plenty of previous omens. The “nuns-ploitation” unfolds in a predictable way, and seems to be intent on being an allegory for what happens when an authority (evil nuns) takes away abortion rights from young women who have been impregnated by beings by whom they didn’t choose to be impregnated. The principal nun (Nell Tiger Free) commits to the bit and handles the possession devil-baby stuff with aplomb. More yucky than scary.

Thursday, April 04, 2024

Monkey Man

The good news is: Dev Patel made a movie. He and the crew did a bang-up job – a combination of a Van Damme/Jackie Chan/John Woo revenge fantasy and an Indian, socio-political commentary. But it’s a very large, very hot cup of coffee. It’s a lot. It’s a barrage of action. Quick cuts and shaky-cam. Ironic music. It rarely breathes and it’s hard to FEEL anything with this frenetic, indulgent assault. Mistakes were made, the biggest of which is not revealing the backstory earlier. I hope it does well. I hope it makes money. But it’s exhausting. My eyeballs were tired afterwards. I hope the editor gets treatment for an obvious cocaine addiction. 

As I watched I wondered, “Why do people watch these movies?” The gun-fu action isn’t going to re-invent the wheel. The familiar tropes, the hero, the villain, the hooker with a heart of gold, the kid, aren’t going to resonate, per se. There’s a feeling to get - like when Captain America picks up Thor’s hammer. Or when Neo stops the bullets in mid-air with is mind. Or when Furiosa rips off Immortan Joe’s face. It’s a primal satisfaction. A pay off. Lots of punching and blood isn’t going to get you there. And an ambiguous ending won’t provide the rush of adrenalin and oxytocin the audience wants. Tension and release needs to be addressed. Satisfaction needs to be addressed. Even for a violent gun-fu movie made for hyperactive, young males.

Sunday, March 31, 2024

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire

King Kong and Godzilla are BUSY. King Kong is trying to trap and kill dog/monster things with a bad tooth. Godzilla’s stomping around the world trying to charge up like an electric car for some TBD fiery showdown. Life is hard for the big monsters. Good thing we have Rebecca Hall and Brian Tyree Henry to narrate the important points. “Kong is trying to reach the surface!” “Godzilla’s preparing for something…” It’s impossible to look at this with any kind of cinematic critical thinking. The director of Pop Skull has made a computer-generated nature documentary bereft of sophistication or subtext. It doesn’t seem to be an allegory for World War II anymore. It’s epic, but it’s coherent, believe it or not. The busy plot hampers the desired monster-movie playfulness, but there’s still a crescendo of roaring and city-smooshing to please my monkey brain.

Friday, March 22, 2024

Ghostbusters: Afterlife

Watching this is a surreal experience. Numerous times I had to stop and ask myself, “Did I fall asleep? Did I miss something?” Scenes stop in the middle. Costumes change. Characters refer to previous scenes that aren’t in the movie. Characters seem to know things that they had no time to learn. It’s like it was edited with a chainsaw. It’s a mess. The cast is good. It’s too bad the story/plot/subplot/continuity/dramatic tension/climax are in shambles. What happened??

Thursday, March 21, 2024

Death in Venice

I’ve never read the Agatha Christie book, but I’d be willing to bet it’s significantly less exciting than this adaptation by Kenneth Branagh. He knows he has his work cut-out for him, and in some ways overcompensates with a dancing camera and gothic sets from the Guillermo del Toro design guide. The result is a serviceable thriller/airplane movie with a strong cast and the requisite number of murders and twists.

Saturday, March 16, 2024

Dream Scenario

Extremely heart-felt and well-made tragedy about an ordinary schlub who, for unknown reasons, is suddenly put on display, ostracized, and persecuted by the universe. Among other things, it’s a metaphor for cancel culture. But in this case, the ordinary guy, played neurotically and expertly by Nick Cage, did absolutely nothing wrong. The people around him don’t acknowledge this and participate in the pile on, because, well, you’ve got to stone SOMEBODY to death, right? Otherwise it could be you. When the persecution begins to drive him crazy, the schlub starts to make mistakes, which would be the normal human reaction. And then of course, to the people around him this reinforces the originally unfounded belief that he’s a bad man. And the spiral down hastens. It’s incredibly sad.

Saturday, March 09, 2024

Cabrini

The cinematography in this is gorgeous by a photog who’s shot other “faith-based” films. The “faith based” marketing of this movie feels incongruous, since the story involved helping impoverished refugees and orphans, something the evangelicals are completely opposed to. It’s a highly stylized true story, and plays more like a Dickens/”Oliver Twist” heartwarming tragedy than a docudrama. It would have been a LOT better if it didn’t have 20 minutes of terrible faith-based previews before it. It’s well-meaning, but impossible to market, and cynically speaking, that’s the purpose of the faith-based movies – marketing. Church for sale.

Friday, March 08, 2024

Easy Rider

Re-watched this trailblazing hippie odyssey in 4K. The music is great. But the story, like the hippies I suppose, is sort of drifty and pointless. For better or worse, they believed that everyone was trying to kill them.

Sunday, March 03, 2024

Kong: Skull Island

Re-watched this as a refresher for the Monarch “Monsterverse” sequels in the pipeline. It’s only so-so, but thankfully short.

Saturday, March 02, 2024

Anatomy of a Fall

Performances are sharp in this Alpine murder mystery (including the dog!). It’s an astute procedural, akin to Law and Order, and details and depiction of the French Courts is intriguing. I wouldn’t say it’s Best Picture material, but it was emotional and watchable.

Thursday, February 29, 2024

Dune Part 2

Part 2 really plays like David Lean made a science fiction movie. In every way it’s epic. All of the designs and cinematography are sublime. The performances are all very serious - taking wild plot points and delivering them with gravity, up to and including Rebecca Ferguson chatting with her unborn child telepathically. There’s no real point in mentioning the effects anymore – they’re always exceptional. But these movies never end. I knew how this would be. It’s called Part 2. It’s right in the title. So walking out of the theater in a rush of oxytocin has become less frequent these days. But it has to be commended for no other reason than everybody had to have worked REALLY hard.

Wednesday, February 28, 2024

Letters to Juliet

At the end of this sappy, pointless 2010 romance, Amanda Seyfried perfectly delivers the one and only funny/hilarious line in this entire dull, travelogue of clichés. And she knocks it out of the park. Is it worth sitting through this entire movie for this one perfectly delivered gag? No, it is not. The scenery does most of the heavy lifting here, and it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.

Sunday, February 25, 2024

Dune

Rewatched in preparation for Part 2. It’s talky sci-fi, and the details of the plot often reveal in bits of dialogue. But, man, they made this movie. It’s glorious to behold and not a sour note in the whole experience. It’s never slow. The really memorable scenes are the small-scale struggles, the escapes, and the mano a mano battles - superhero action stars seemingly thrilled to be doing something different. Eager for Part 2.

Sunday, February 18, 2024

Poor Things

The point of this seems to be: a woman’s decisions are her own, no matter how terrible they are. As a woman with a baby’s brain, Emma Stone turns-in an incredible, vulnerable physical performance. But it’s hard not to think that all the grotesque men in her life are really using and abusing her in a way that even a fantasy steam-punk netherworld can’t disguise. It’s a magical place with no pregnancies or STDs, and look at all those pretty dresses! Everything is filmed in a Jean-Pierre Junet fish-eye, wide-angle, and the music is weird, forcing all of the proceedings to feel like one big, long dream. It never grounds itself, even for a second. It’s visionary, and I’m happy this was made, but all the over-modulation leaves me piqued but not entirely satisfied.

Tuesday, February 13, 2024

The Holdovers

Everyone knows: the teaming up of Paul Giamatti and Alexander Payne can only be a recipe for great things. This is so sad and so poignant; it’s a melancholy masterwork. The three key performances are sharp and deep. It’s rare for a movie to be this astute and emotional as it says what so many people think about Christmas: Christmas sucks. It’s okay if Paul Giamatti doesn’t win the Oscar for this. He’s in a class by himself. Dear Hollywood, be kind to Giamatti. Pay him well. Give him a nice trailer. He’s a national treasure.

Saturday, February 10, 2024

El Conde

Presented in beautiful black and white, this Chilean Vampire comedy is an odd-duck. Sometimes Farrelly/Zucker Brothers absurd, and sometimes grey and gloomy in a Woody Allen way. I’m happy this was made, and the filmmaker’s SEEM to have had carte blanche to produce this romantic-comedy horror outlier. It’s probably an allegory for something political in Chili that I don’t quite get, as it skates the line between vampire and satire. But it’s original, you gotta give it that.

Sunday, February 04, 2024

The Marvels

This has a Guardians of the Galaxy nuttiness to it. Superhero schtick. Performances are all good; trying to crossover between physical comedy and action heroics. But it feels diversionary. The stakes are low. I mean the world can’t be in jeopardy of ending in EVERY movie, can it? Also, there’s A LOT of cat stuff in this. It’s really cat-heavy. So if you like cats, this one’s for you.

Tuesday, December 26, 2023

Godzilla Minus One

It’s a strong but melodramatic drama about a disgraced kamikaze pilot and his surrogate family disguised as a Godzilla movie. Filmmakers postulate that not everybody in Japan was in favor of the war. The government exploited its citizens and made them expendable. There were heroes that were anti-war, too. This revises history and entertains, and could subversively be considered a sequel to Oppenheimer.