Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

An amazing, unknown piece of history! Some of today’s best historians, including Bill O’Reilly and the publishers of textbooks in Texas, have discovered brand new facts about historical figures and scientific theories that bravely and completely redefine what less enlightened “scientists” and “historians” have been teaching us for years. This is no exception. Not only do vampires exist, but they caused the civil war. Lincoln was secretly trained to kill them! The cinematic depiction of Lincoln’s secret life is a bloody, flaming bonanza! Here’s hoping this information, along with the truth about where we come from, creationism, makes it into text books as soon as possible.