Mission Impossible: Fallout

Ethan Hunt is having bad dreams. We should be worried about him. He’s not the operative he used to be. As much as the filmmakers intend to entertain (and they succeed spectacularly) they also intend to open a window and explore Ethan Hunt’s psyche. But because Tom Cruise is such a… mysterious fellow, these explorations into his love life and motives leave us more confused than we already were. The supporting cast, including Rebecca Ferguson, are all top notch. But we’re not sure if Ethan really loves Ilsa. They’ve never even kissed! Sequences and stunts are, as always, incomparable. Twists are well-crafted. There is never any doubt that you’re getting your money’s worth, despite the fogginess of Ethan’s love life.

Sorry to Bother You

This bites off a lot. It’s a satire of whitewashing, American greed, income inequality, telemarketers, guerrilla artists, and office politics. It’s very funny at times, but as these sci-fi satires go, it culminates in chaos. Story-wise there’s really no other place to go. We’re headed to an ugly future. But kudos to the filmmakers for swinging for the fences.

Ant Man and the Wasp

Gravitas-less. Everything about this is light and little. The characters. The plot. The stakes. It’s almost like a kid’s movie – a Sid and Marty Krofft, Saturday morning adventure. Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lilly, et al have a really light, fun rapport with a quick and easy delivery. So it’s fine for what it is: featherweight fun. But these people don’t stand a chance against Thanos.

RBG

Good-natured doc about the Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. What stands out is her background facing the courts as an advocate for civil rights. It’s amazing to think about how many pivital cases she took to the court and how, in many ways, she transformed America by winning those arguments. But her body and mind seem frail and this movie makes you worry that she may not have very long to go.

The Incredibles 2

A beautifully animated and dazzling adventure from Brad Bird. It a shame about John Lassiter and all of the unwanted hugs, because it’s feeling like the end of an amazing era from Pixar. The quality and the entertainment could NOT be higher.

As for the story itself, you can guess who the villain is by how intricately their hair is animated. A secondary character would NEVER have hair this cool. It must have taken thousands of people thousands of hours. There are lots of ideas about brain-washing the masses, which, because of the nature of super-strong super-heroes, can only be stopped with lots of chasing and fighting. Nevertheless, it’s a gorgeous achievement in animation.

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

This is like a "Jurassic" greatest hits. Throw in some of the Michael Crichton novels, throw in some stuff from the Spielberg movies, throw in a little Congo, a little bit of Frankenstein, a piece or two from King Kong… That doesn’t mean it isn’t entertaining. It just feels like a rehash. Much of this movie is filmed on soundstages in very controlled environments. Instead of moving around in the natural world with plants and rocks and bugs and birds, the dinos are interacting with cages and hallways and furniture and stuff. Easier to control and probably a lot cheaper to animate. Which means there’s a lot of cool camera moves and geography, but don’t stop and think about a guy fighting an evil dinosaur in a library.

Solo

One of Ron Howard’s best movies, which means: lower those expectations, folks! If you do, it’s a fun but light Star Wars prologue. It might have worked better as one of those animated things like Clone Wars or Rebels. The introduction and bromance of Han and Chewy works really well, and it’s the best part of this. But other subplots: failed heists, double crosses, and Casablanca-lifted thematic elements are less dazzling, even though they do eventually work. The cast is strong, especially Alden Ehrenreich, who delivers the right balance of youthful swagger and emotional inexperience. The stakes just feel… low. The fate of the galaxy isn’t on the line. There’s no real love lost. It’s just kind of a slapdash adventure. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you need to make a billion dollars, some planets need to explode.

Avengers: Infinity War - Part 1

** INFINITE SPOILERS!! **

More of a prelude of things to come than an actual movie. It’s so crowded that most of the characters only get cursory appearances. Often there will be four or five super-people in the frame at the same time, as one character doles out ominous exposition. The other super-people in the scene don’t seem to be listening and look bored. The Russos neglect to block the scenes, maybe because none of the actors were there at the same time and they were all superimposed together in post? That being said, there are a couple of pairings filmmakers spend a little more time on: Vision and Scarlet Witch, which could have been a whole movie by itself, and Gamora and Thanos, a nicely-expanded backstory for Zoe Saldana. Again and again, the biggest problem with these superhero movies is there’s no suspense because you know there’s sequels and franchises coming. And the thrill of cg just isn’t enough anymore. So if you can’t have any death, where else do you find conflict? Love, maybe?

A Quiet Place

** SPOILERS AHEAD **

More of a series of sequences than a whole movie. The sequences are suspenseful but the big picture is lacking. Efforts to play with story structure by eliminating the intro and the climax are valiant but gimmicky. Who are the aliens? What do they want? Who else is building signal fires at night? There’s no context. No sense of a larger world. That being said, a hugely successful debut for John Kraszinski, who made a lot of money for somebody, and now he’ll get to do what he wants.

Ready Player One

Spielberg and company summarily change the novel, for the better I suppose, even though that’s always considered a high-crime. The story weaknesses in the novel, of which there are many, are torched all together and a new plot emerges from the ashes. The novelist’s affinity for certain, very specific 80’s pop-culture treasures falls by the wayside, which is why we don’t see War Games clips in this, but instead it’s… I’m not spoiling it. Filmmakers drastically improve on the motives of “Halliday” -- the Willy Wonka of this adventure, peppering in a taste of Spielbergian sentimentality. It’s a pleasure to watch and purely entertaining, even if it’s not the purely 80’s trip down memory lane that audiences were expecting.

Red Sparrow

“Jennifer Lawrence is a hilarious, Academy Award-winning ray of sunshine. I know: let’s put her in a movie where she pouts the entire time.”

Academy Award Nominated Animated Short Films

DEAR BASKETBALL

With music by John Williams, this essay about how much Kobe Bryant loves basketball is nicely animated, but thematically shallow and obvious.

GARDEN PARTY

Beautifully animated, with a dark-comedy twist at the end.

LOU

Not that animated films HAVE to be logical. But this doesn’t make a lot of sense. Sentiment supersedes inner logic, I suppose.

NEGATIVE SPACE

Thematically strong short about a narrator’s relationship with his father based on how he learned from his father how to pack a suitcase.

REVOLTING RHYMES

A twist on the old red-riding hood fable. Felt long.

Game Night

We laughed all the way through this; a comedy version of the Fincher movie The Game. And it's not like the premise is all that original, but it's the delivery of the actors -- the perfectly timed jazz of Bateman, McAdams, and Jesse Plemons is so smooth it could settle your stomach. Lots really funny riffs on twist-endings, too. A blue-chip farce. Huzzah, etc.

Black Panther

Beautifully imagined and rendered comic-book saga with all of the necessary ingredients. African and racial politics work their way in occasionally, but they don’t really drive the plot and they don’t get resolved in any kind of interesting way. The cast is great but the action feels par-for-the course. It’s the typical running and driving and chasing and fighting stuff. What this movie lacks (and what all the super-hero movies really lack now days) is suspense, because you know that Black Panther can’t really die. This is a dilemma for all the comic-book, superhero movie-makers I suppose. How do you ratchet up the stakes?? Be that as it may, it’s a great, big feline leap for black heroes, no longer relegated to being supporting characters or starring in b-movies.

The Darkest Hour

Gary Oldman is undoubtedly impressive in this. His technique, along with the great makeup, makes this performance muy authentic. But this is not a very personal or emotional movie. It’s all about important speeches and Churchill screaming at the minions. There’s very little insight into who Churchill was as a person. As a history it’s fine, but as a drama, it’s a lot like British food: it needs a little salt.

Call Me By Your Name

What if Brokeback Mountain had turned out well? Well, not “well” but better? Here you have a love story about acceptance. The stakes are low, mainly because the setting is isolated; away from the hate speech and the AIDS crisis of the era. When you strip away all of the socio-political hullaballoo, what’s left is a nice, warm-hearted travelogue through the small towns and swimming holes of Northern Italy. While the pace is meandering, the main character makes several interesting choices in his assent to manhood.

I, Tonya

A well-made but violent dark-comedy about that well-covered incident before the 1994 Olympics. Robbie (who also produced) is excellent and Janney will probably win an Oscar. In the 90’s, the media portrayed Tonya Harding as a master-manipulator; a femme fatale who tricked her husband into carrying out her evil bidding. But in this depiction, there is a brutal cycle of abuse. Harding gets smacked around A LOT by her husband, and for many complicated reasons, she can’t shake him off. When the story is told in a different way, you can see that she was a victim of circumstance, and didn’t have the support system to overcome the rotten people in her life. In some ways, it’s the perfect, juicy film noir. In other ways, it’s an American tragedy.

Paddington 2

We regretted not seeing the first movie in the theater since it was better than we thought it would be and skillfully sentimental. This behaves more like an action movie (albeit one for toddlers), in which the action culminates on a speeding train. It’s very well-done, big-budget, family fare with some charming word-play and Britishy shenanigans. Kudos to Hugh Grant for delivering, full-bore, his hilariously narcissistic but non-threatening antagonist.

All the Money in the World

This is a true docudrama, unfolding realistically and never stopping for any emotional reflection. Michelle Williams, the best (as always), must deliver any emotion with her eyes, her body language, her “instrument”, because it’s not on the page. Sir Ridley seems determined to keep the pace moving, which makes this a somewhat dry, impersonal experience. The Mark Wahlberg part could have been played by any macho leading man, which brings an extra level of irony to the whole public squabble about the pay difference. Nevertheless, Christopher Plummer as J. Paul Getty is electric. What a historically rotten prick, and a great performance from Plummer. The facts about this incident and how it all unfolded are the best thing about this movie, and add new context during your next drive by the Getty Center. It’s very watchable, but tissues will not be needed.

Doug's Favorite Movies of 2017

Get Out
The Shape of Water
Blade Runner: 2049
The Big Sick
Dunkirk

Honorable Mention:

John Wick Chapter 2
Thor: Ragnarok
Logan

The Disaster Artist

I think this was supposed to be funny, but I actually found it sad. Because it revels in a hacky filmmaker who believes in his dream, but never realizes how hacky he is. And I can’t help but worry that I, too, might be a filmmaker that’s THAT hacky. The acting and directing by James Franco is on-point, as is the delivery by brother Dave. I’ve seen The Room a few times, and it’s truly terrible. But not really funny/terrible, just terrible. Again, I think I dislike artistic train-wrecks because I’m always thinking: that could be ME! Be that as it may, this is a strong and passionate offering from the Freaks and Geeks kids. I think they’ve got a future in this business.

Obey Giant

Interesting and worthwhile doc on Hulu about Shepard Fairey – from the Andre the Giant “Obey” stickers to the Barack Obama “Hope” campaign. Lots of insight from Fairy himself about his art and purpose.

Downsizing

This is like 3 movies crammed into one. A sci-fi move, a upstairs-downstairs class satire, and a travelogue. I’m sorry, Alexander Payne and company, but there’s too much stuff in the pie. Swing and a miss. The silver lining here is a great, funny, human performance from Hong Chau, who might get some nominations.

Lady Bird

Greta Gerwig took a page out of the Noah Baumbach playbook for this; a episodic and uniquely female portrait about a senior in high school. It’s not super plot-heavy, but it’s clear what “Lady Bird” wants: to get into a college across the country and "get out of Dodge." It’s honest, awkward, and funny. Saoirse Ronan, who’s always been good, navigates friends, family, and Catholic school, but she never really resolves or copes with any of her unresolved issues. She just moves-on from them. Change occurs when she accepts who she is and what she wants. It’s an accomplished debut by Gerwig.

The Post

All of the necessary, newspapery tropes are here, and welcome. Reporters are sticking to their story, never revealing their sources, and putting their ass on the line. And it’s all about that very important democratic thing: holding the government accountable for their actions. If you were Vladamir Putin and you were trying to undermine a democracy, how would you do it? Make people distrust the news by contaminating the newsfeed with misinformation, right? Sounds like a plan. A vital and necessary movie, full of great acting, brains, and constitutional truths. So it will inevitably be accused of being liberal propaganda.

The Shape of Water

Lovingly derivative, Guillermo refers to  mythology, 1950’s cold-war, b-movies, and Jean-Pierre Jeunet in this very adept and sweet “beauty and the beast” love story. Some of Del Toro’s dark and twisted sensibilities find their way in, but it’s mostly a love letter. All of the performances are SUPERB (and nomination-worthy), including Doug Jones as the slimy creature with the heart of gold. There’s an acceptable level of schmaltz in this, too, which makes you feel all warm and squishy and goopy inside, a lot like that sensitive swamp creature, I suppose. A must-sea. (Ha!)

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

This is the “trials and tribulations” chapter of the saga, where nothing works out, nobody trusts anybody, and everybody generally gets their ass kicked. If you find yourself liking something a character is doing, it will eventually backfire. If you find yourself expecting a character will do something, brace yourself – they will do the opposite. The problem with the whole saga now (the brand) is that the movies will never end; they will always require sequels. That means that the dramatic effect is watered down. How do you author surprises in a movie that never ends?? With soap opera plotting, and shattering expectations.

It’s always a thrill to see a Star Wars movie in the theater. The effects are amazing and the music is beautiful. But if the corporation is going to be releasing chapters once a year, the chapters themselves need to have a little bit of resolution. Not “Death Star blowing up, applause in the theater” resolution, but something conclusive.

Phantom Thread

Let’s ruminate about dresses. For them to be exquisite, they must be built by an army of women and one obnoxious asshole. The Phantom Thread is about that asshole. There’s a subgenre of dramas about misunderstood geniuses and artists who get to be assholes to everybody because they’re so gifted and talented that they aren’t held accountable for their assholey behavior. They must be allowed to work in silence. (see also Mother!) Only an artist who feels misunderstood would make a movie about an artist who’s unappreciated or misunderstood. But it’s kind of hard to feel any sympathy for the asshole in this, which makes the experience kind of distant and unemotional. But the dresses are pretty and the teapots are grand.

As for the character we the audience are asked to feel something about, she gets swept up rather easily by the asshole from a life we know nothing about. She doesn’t really exist before he (the asshole) asks her to move in to his house. How can we know if she’s able to restore sanity or normalcy to her life if we never know who she was before she met the asshole? Be that as it may, the dresses are pretty and the teapots are grand. It finally gets a little bit Hitchcockian in the final third when filmmakers weave in some thrillerish threads. You might find yourself wishing that the opening minutes of this yarn would have started out as taut.

Justice League

I kind of didn’t hate this as much as I thought I would. It’s analogous to eating one (1) Cheeto™. It’s bad, it’s unfulfilling, but you want more. So it’s a calorically empty, but not terribly painful chapter of the DC universe. The villains are baffling. Zach Snyder is obsessed with fire, glowing, molten lava, flying demons, and all things gladiator. (Remember the weird flying creatures on Krypton in Man of Steel?) But you never really understand what these weird, flying aliens want from Earth, except: to conquer it. The WB Animation movies from the DC Universe have richer plots than this! But there are a few charming moments, too. And the cast, all 6 of the superfriends, are game and up to the challenge, even though they’re only given short vignettes throughout the story to reveal their character. The Danny Elfman music is noteworthy. Not only did he nail the original score, but he also functions as a kind of D.J., weaving-in nostalgic snippets from his own Batman score and John Williams’ score from Superman: The Movie. I would never advise anyone to eat just one Cheeto. It would be frustrating and unfulfilling. But it also wouldn’t kill you either -- you would want more. Welcome to the WB/DC universe.

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

It’s like a twisted Lifetime movie with better cursing. Performances are really strong. Filmmakers walk a delicate high-wire of tone; combining heavy grief with deadpan wit and southern sarcasm. The stakes are high, and Martin McDonagh and company handle these sudden shifts in tone skillfully. As my lovely wife Kristen Haldeman Kauffman said, “It’s more Coen Brothers than a Coen Brothers movie.” The aforementioned tone shifts, are, in some moments, exhilarating; there are several instances when humor is mined from terminal cancer. So it’s well-done, but occasionally sad.   

Murder on the Orient Express

Past incarnations of Poirot have depicted him as a big, fat slob. Who knows? Maybe Christie imagined him that way, too. But Kenneth Branagh has done for Poirot what Guy Richie did for Sherlock Holmes -- made him lean, spry, and a black belt in karate. The structure of Christie’s murder mystery means that we never get to know very much about the man murdered, the backstory, or the suspects until the very end, which makes the proceedings feel impersonal and distant. Be that as it may, the acting by the ensemble is top-notch, the sets are as "Harry Potterish" as they could be, and the pace is peppy.

Thor: Ragnarok

This was closer to a Power Rangers movie than the actual Power Rangers movie that came out a few months ago. Neon colors blast from the screen, heroes and villains crack wise and never shut up, nobody ever seems to be in any real peril. I was impressed by the music score composed by Devo guy and new wave guru Mark Mothersbaugh. It’s a combination of typical, bombastic superhero music, a "Missing Persons" album, and a Bret Easton Ellis, new-wave coke party. Usually, people want their superhero movies to be heroic in some way. Do good, save the world, conquer the evildoers. Act as some kind of remedy or analogue for society’s ills. Maybe we could learn to be better humans. "Ragnarok" intends to be pure fantasy. Funnier and more colorful than it should be. Irreverent and barely human. It’s never boring, but it’s not really a sustainable tone, either. Brief moments, like when the Valkyrie recalls a bygone battle atop a flying Pegasus, stoke the potential for a serious opera; a myth; a true Norse saga. I’d see that movie, too.

Ghost in the Shell

I watched this on the plane which I regret because it was beautiful. I bet it looked good in theaters.

American Made

I didn’t hate watching this, but it didn’t really resonate either. It aspires to be like Blow, Goodfellas, or The Wolf of Wall Street. An ordinary family man (Tom "I can actually fly airplanes myself" Cruise) gets sucked into a life of crime based on a true story. The docudrama aspects of this story are fascinating, but as a character study it feels rushed and impersonal.

Blade Runner 2049

The central conflict -- the “inciting incident” -- of Blade Runner 2049 is frank and fascinating; a mind-blowing “what if” that delivers a truly essential sequel to Ridley Scott’s opus. The visuals are so beautiful you could break down into tears. The acting is always sublime. But this movie lingers a little too long. Emphasis on beauty presides over story, which ends up ultimately being confusing, and it requires a second viewing. You can walk away from this having “experienced” something, but it’s difficult to explain what, exactly. The director’s cut of Ridley Scott’s original is, in many ways, the masterpiece of sci-fi ambiguity. “2049” tries to emulate that, and it’s a noble effort. Unfortunately, a shitload of bad Blade Runner knock-offs (I'm looking at you, Hot Bot!)have been released in the last 35 years that have over-exposed and spoiled that special kind of Ridley Scott/Philip K. Dick flair for un-resolved questions about robots, making Denis Villeneuve and the crew’s job especially difficult. His beautiful but confusing attempt gets an “A” for effort.

Mother!

Perhaps the least realistic, least literal movie to be released in theaters since the last AFI genius had a movie. Malick, maybe? This is one of those movies that’s so obtuse and ambiguous that everyone will form their own theory of what it’s all about. My theory: The marriage in the story represents two sides of the same artist: the nurturing side and the ego side. The chaos in the story is what erupts in an artist’s psyche when fans get involved, when adulation and money start to drive the creative process, and when the artist is finally able to create, or give birth, to something truly unique and beautiful -- their “baby.” Kill your darlings, Faulkner said. Or maybe it was Stephen King. Performances here are great. They have to be, or else people would walk out in the middle screaming, “What the fuck?” Anyway, if you want to get beaten over the head and dragged behind a truck by a metaphor, this is your movie.

IT

Well-acted and beautifully filmed, but confusing. I need someone to explain the plot to me. The “evil” sometimes manifests itself as a scary clown, but also manifests as each individual kid’s greatest fear. The drama during these segments is strong and it’s provocative to see how much their parents play a role in their terror. We wonder, but also don’t wonder, what was happening to Beverly. King doesn’t pull punches in this regard, but director Andy Muschietti may need to -- to keep it an R rating. Despite the hodgepodge of themes and ideas feeling less grounded (and less scary) than they should be, the filmmakers made the shit out of this movie. Acting, music, cinematography, and designs are all top notch. I just wish it wasn’t a “kitchen sink” story. (Maybe this is just the inherent danger of filming a novel…)

War for the Planet of the Apes

Watching the opening third of this, I was thinking, “Holy crap! This could get a Best Picture nod!” But alas, the flame burns down in the long and contemplative second and third parts. The apes become the prisoners again, but this time there’s a crazed, right wing, Colonel Kurtz type, obsessed with destroying apes. The metaphor shifts a little here, and it’s less about a slave uprising and more about an eagerness to wage war. The filmmaking is beautiful; stunning really. But the whole story felt a little strained and obvious. It’s like they tried to introduce a little more "Serling" into something that already had plenty of "Serling." It’s impressively serious, but also not a whole lot of fun. Thank God, as always, for Steve Zahn.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Some of this looks SO dated. And I had a revelation while watching it: If you set a movie even slightly in the past, you have the ability to curate history a little. Weed out the ugly fashions and boring cars. But if you place it right smack in the present-tense, it almost always feels unstylish. Certain things about this, of course, are timeless: Dreyfuss, Williams, and the Devil’s Tower of mashed potatoes. (And nice seeing one of my gurus Seth Winston in the credits.)

Logan Lucky

…feels like an old Dukes of Hazard episode. The southern accents are pushed to the hilt, the smart guys are dumb and the dumb guys are even dumber, and there can’t be enough car chases. It’s comforting to have Steven Soderbergh back in the driver's seat, doing his funny/heist thing. It seems so effortless for him to wave a wand and make a popcorn movie. Will it resonate? Nope. But it’ll pass the time nicely.

Atomic Blonde

At some point in this movie, Charlize Theron, covered in bruises, soaks her body in a bathtub full of ice. And you can almost feel the bruises and feel the cold ice. This thing is brutal. And as much as I love John Wick, he’s never quite out of breath and a never quite totally injured -- you always assume he can spring back any minute. Charlize (as MI6 Agent Lorraine Broughton) brings an added level of emotional charge to the karate/assassin narrative. You can feel her pain. So, it’s good that she’s there, because otherwise the plot doesn’t make a lot of sense and we’re never quite sure what her goal is. In John Wick (same director, btw), we NEVER question his motive: revenge. Simple. So, this takes place in a greyer world of divided loyalties and evolving goals. Despite the story not being satisfying per se, it’s Charlize’s neck on the block, and she delivers.

Dunkirk

The reverence that Christopher Nolan has for movies and stories and photography and film stock is absolutely sterling. This is a love letter to exposure. Story-wise, this behaves a lot like those big, old war movies, when you jump back and fourth from one character’s story to another. Think The Bridge on the River Kwai, The Great Escape, or Midway. You never really get to know the characters, except for a recreational yacht owner played by Mark Rylance, sailing into a war zone, as the true story goes, to help evacuate British soldiers. It’s interesting too that this movie starts when most movies begin their final third: at the beginning of the climax. So it’s relatively short and always tense. It’s bold filmmaking. It embraces the tropes of the genre, but twists them slightly to the point where your expectations are unhinged. It’s both a quintessential example of a war movie and also a consummate one. And it’s full of laughs! (Not really. It’s a war movie.)

The Big Sick

This is about a Pakistani guy dating a white girl. But the conceit of it is: it’s not ALL ABOUT the guy being Pakistani. The guy’s culture definitely plays a part, but thankfully (and this is why the movie works) it becomes about things that are WAY BIGGER than our cultures and why dating is so hard. Because, for reasons that I can’t remember, the girl gets really sick and slips into a coma. And the girl’s parents rush into town, and suddenly it’s “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner in the Hospital Cafeteria While Your Daughter’s in a Coma.” The cast and the acting is top-notch and the script is really personal and funny. Apatow-ish story notes rear their sentimental heads occasionally, which is unfortunate. Small contrivances are too obvious here, in Kumail Nanjiani’s very personal and probable milieu. Also, it’s not always as light-hearted as you might expect. Hospitals and illnesses can be heavy and un-funny. But, again, it’s obviously SO personal. Nominations are likely.

Spiderman: Homecoming

** TONS OF SUPER-SPOILERS **

The new Spiderman is good only because it’s not horribly, painfully, catastrophically bad. It has NONE of the gravitas of the Raimi movies, but it’s also not as dull or forgettable as the Mark Webb movies. Sometimes, accidentally, filmmaking by committee can work. Six writers, one unknown director, and a studio so desperate to keep their franchise alive that they RENT some of the best characters from their competitors, and they all somehow managed to make a marginally entertaining movie. Who knew?

But now some questions and random thoughts:

Why does a crew that’s cleaning up volatile, radioactive material from another planet not wear hazmat suits?

Stark Industries decides, after the clean-up has started, that maybe they should clean up the powerful, highly radioactive alien power supply instead of the New York schmos from Waste Management??

Tony, Happy Hogan, and the off-screen Avengers seem pretty blasé about all of this alien tech falling into the hands of bitter New York garbage men.

If Tony Stark is so hung up on inhumans and mutants being dangerous in Civil War, why would he fund a superhuman kid that was bit by a radioactive spider?

In Iron Man 3, they make such a big deal of Tony breaking it off with Pepper, and in Civil War, they make it clear he’s got the hots for Aunt May. So why dust off Pepper??

Captain America is funnier than everybody else. 

Filmmaking by committee aside, the one who’s coming out of this smelling like gold is Spiderman’s sidekick “Ned,” played by Jacob Batalon. That kid’s going places.

Baby Driver

I kind of feel like I’ve seen this movie before. The getaway driver who agrees to do one last job. Count the tropes. Efforts to give this concept a “haircut” to make it look like something new only partially succeed. Would The Transporter be a vastly different movie if the “transporter” had a backstory? Or an old guy he’s trying to protect? Or a weird ear thing that makes him play music all the time? Otherwise, really, this feels like Edgar Wright pandering to the Fast and the Furious crowd. Moments of this are watchable and fun, but it’s really nothing new.

It Comes at Night

A lot of movie company bosses seem to forget the existence of John Carpenter’s The Thing. Because it seems like a lot of hot-shots rolling in off the street, who just happened to have caught Carpenter’s aforementioned paranoid opus on cable or something, pitch their remakes and rip-offs with aplomb. And the bosses and critics seem to be saying, “That’s so original! Let’s do it.” The main guy played by Joel Edgerton even LOOKS like MacReady. So those people who’ve never seen The Thing, or people with amnesia, might like this. Which is fine, but Mr. Carpenter deserves royalties.

Wonder Woman

Watching the perfectly cast Princess Diana of the Amazons leap out of the World War One trench and easily kill dozens of enemy soldiers is exhilarating. Much has been made about this hero being a woman and the movie being directed by a woman. And this is a lot like eating a gluten-free pizza crust. The conversation is always like: how does it compare to the real thing? Wait! This crust is gluten-free?? Really? It tastes like the real thing! And so: Wait? This movie was directed by a menstruating woman? With a vagina? You’re kidding?! It would be nice if, someday, this novelty wears off and we could just look at the story of Diana as a piece of popular entertainment. As it stands now, ignoring the forced novelty of it all, it’s overlong but pretty good. Origin stories tend to not be very suspenseful. I mean, you know they’re going to live at the end. And so the weird, overwrought, CG ending of this feels a little bit like comic book lip-service. Here’s a battle... because battles are required. But the casting here is precise and it does feel like there’s a different point of view of the proceedings, as trope-filled as they are. There’s a refreshing lack of Zack Snyder’s cuttiness and bombast that makes the popcorn taste a little bit better. So, kudos to Patty Jenkins and company for trying to salvage the DC universe…

Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

It’s difficult to say EXACTLY what Gore Verbinsky brings to the table, until he’s NOT at the table anymore. It’s only then that you realize: there’s a big piece that’s missing. All of the ingredients are there on the screen, but there’s something about the way the camera moves at the wrong time, the way the music crescendos a little too much, and the way that Johnny Depp’s combination of skill and drunken befuddlement feels out of synch that makes me miss Gore. Granted, I didn’t really the like the CURE FOR WELLNESS eel movie much, either, so maybe it’s just me? Is it terrible? Not really. It's just so... un-weird.

Alien: Covenant

You can almost feel Sir Ridley saying to the audience, “See! I can direct an action scene just a well as James Cameron! See?? And Prometheus did make sense! See! I told you!” Despite the slight smell of pandering in this, I’ll admit, I fully enjoyed it. It was icky and goopy and tense and creepy and cool. And it doesn't feel like a whole movie as much as it just feels like a chapter. A good chapter. So, there’s not a whole lot to take away from this, it won’t really resonate culturally, but it’s a fun night at the movies.

How to be a Latin Lover

Rarely is the commercial purpose of a movie so clearly cynical. The purpose of this movie is to introduce Eugenio Derbez to American audiences. Period. That being said, there are funny moments in this, especially from the top-notch supporting cast. The truly funny moments, spilling into the “off beat” and “weird” category, are directed with a light, silly touch by comedian Ken Marino. Unfortunately, the heavy-handed sentimental stuff, meant for kids and families, I suppose, bogs this down.

Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 2

I don’t know how much plot and story I NEED in a movie like this, but the story goes down like a custard that’s been whipped way too much. It’s pleasant for a minute, but it doesn’t satisfy. All the visual showmanship, music, and smart-alecky camaraderie feels like it’s blasted out of a cannon, and the entire experience is a fun night at the movies. But on the drive home, after you’ve stepped back for a second, you might find yourself saying, “Wait… what??”

The Void

Would you rather be trapped inside a hospital with a bunch of zombies or try your luck outside against the freaky, KKK-hooded, cult-types who may or may not be from another planet? There’s clever, budget-saving devices here, goopy special effects, and a brisk pace, but there’s not a lot that’s very original. It feels like a résumé movie. “Look what we can do with NO money in Canada!” The filmmakers would claim. “Now give us more money.”

Boss Baby

The premise is so outlandish, even for an animation, story-tellers must rely on the “it-was-all-a-dream” style of ending. But the kids in the audience loved the fart jokes and the diaper jokes, so it’s got that going for it.

Power Rangers

I submit to you that, throughout the course of this saga, there is very little power and extremely short-range rangers.

Kong: Skull Island

Somebody saw Apocalypse Now and thought, “What if King Kong was Colonel Kurtz?” There are numerous shots and designs lifted from Coppola’s opus and other Vietnam war films. So if you haven’t seen those movies, Kong: Skull Island might seem pretty cool. But if you HAVE seen those old movies, this might leave a stale aftertaste.

Get Out

There are those that think that horror movies should just be catharsis; escapism. But the best horror movies are about something -- social, political, sexual, etc. Jordan Peel/Blumhouse et al confront a very specific and very racially charged subject in a funny, sarcastic, and highly entertaining way. Horror film fans may miss not seeing ALL of the tropes of the genre, but what they do get is a surprisingly insightful yarn about the co-opting or cultural appropriating of black lives and black culture for the benefit of the rich and primarily the white. Performances here are GREAT, including some sizzling supporting turns from body-snatched staff of the evil rich, white people in question. And just when you think you’ve got Peele’s script figured out, he twists it up in the most funny and unpredictable ways. Is it suspenseful? Not really. Is it perfect? Not even close. But the humor, satire, and insight about race makes this a modern classic. Kudos to all.

Logan

** SPOILERS UNITE!!**

What if Charles Xavier had dementia? What if there was a child like Wolverine with no moral compass? What if someone cloned Wolverine and made him a mindless super-soldier? There are several really gripping comic-book premises loaded up here, and the execution is robust. Filmed and paced like an old Western by James Mangold et al, there’s actually scenes of the movie Shane in this movie, which is a lot like Shane. But it’s not like it’s THAT innovative of an idea to change the tone. People are getting tired of superhero movies, but you have to keep the characters alive and in the zeitgeist. So what do you do? The last “Wolverine” movie by the same team was more of a samurai movie than a “superhero” movie, so it would make sense to veer into the Western genre mythos. What is always key in anything X-Man is that the kids who are different have a tribe; a place to not be ostracized or weaponized. Professor X always sees to it that they’re accepted somewhere, which makes him the real super-hero.

Hacksaw Ridge

Never has a movie been more appropriately named. Mel went out and made a pretty decent war movie, but then jammed in a bunch of Christianity and pontificating. The boot camp/training scenes are overflowing with clichés. One almost wonders if Mel was TRYING to make a throwback in tone; the bloody war version of a Todd Haynes movie. Nevertheless, Mel thrives when the bodies are being blown apart, but falls on his face when the hero and his best gal go on a date. It almost feels like this was directed by two people. One, a talented commander of epic battles, and two, a ham-handed hack. Moments of this are pretty good, and moments of this are embarrassingly bad. It’s a fascinating juxtaposition, probably a lot like the voices in Mel Gibson’s head.

A Cure for Wellness

Ultimately a downer. This icky, creepy shaggy-dog story had some great visuals -- beautiful compositions of old sanitarium hallways and steam rooms. Lots of eels. So, so, so many eels. Almost too many eels. Is there really such a thing as too many eels? I'm getting off track. Regardless, the plot makes NO sense. I think it’s supposed to be an allegory for something, but I’m not sure what. Fertility? The holocaust? I’ve always liked Gore Verbinsky, but this was overwrought and underwhelming.

Loving

Refreshingly, this is less about the famous court case of Richard and Mildred Loving (Loving v. Virginia) and more about their marriage while they’re coping with all of the civil right injustices. Performances are sensitive and the filmmakers use great care to never make this preachy or ham-fisted. One wishes this same delicacy could have been used in Selma, another civil rights account worthy of way more tenderness and subtlety than those filmmakers wrought. Good to know, too, that sometimes the SCOTUS can be on the right side of history.

John Wick Chapter 2

DO.
NOT.
FUCK.
WITH.
JOHN.
WICK.

Manchester by the Sea

Unpretentious drama about how tragedies shape who we are going forward in our lives. While we can often NOT forgive ourselves, it still helps to be forgiven by others. It’s very well-acted, and the deepest human emotions are explored skillfully. It’s notably less tear-jerky than Lion or Moonlight, which makes it worthwhile. Although the resolution feels a bit downcast at first, on the drive home, one realizes there is some hope for redemption.

Moonlight

Well acted and skillfully filmed, Moonlight reminded me of Precious and Beast of the Southern Wild. It’s a harrowing tale of a certain black experience, wherein there seems to be a frustrating lack of social workers. It’s difficult to know what the hero “Chiron” wants or needs out of life. How does a character express a need for self-discovery or acceptance? Nevertheless, he does what heroes do: he searches for answers. The revelations are more emotional than suspenseful, and at the end you wonder where the characters will go from there. But at the moment that the curtain finally falls, you feel that Chiron may have found temporary peace. A worthwhile goal in life, but is it too abstract for a movie? Will one artist’s vision of peace resonate with everyone who sees it? Maybe not, but it’s worth a shot.

Harry Benson: Shoot First

Worthwhile documentary about a Scottish photographer famous for covering the Beatles and numerous world events. His timing, being in the right place at the right time with a camera, was impeccable. Nice personal story, too, about the man and his family.

48 Hours to Live

Structured like a film noir, this low-budget dance/club movie won’t resonate. You can either dance or you can kill, but you can’t really do both.

Passengers

Sci-fi movies often ask you to suspend your disbelief a couple of times at the beginning. You have to believe in the future, in space travel, and in time travel. As long as they can set the story in motion, and as long as the story is still about humanity, this can work. But if you ask the audience to suspend their disbelief TOO MANY times, logic start to seep through the cracks, and the movie gets ruined. That’s Passengers, which crashes with a big, astronomical THUD at the end. At a certain point, you begin asking logic questions, and space is no place for logic...

Rogue One

Seeing this a second time is still thoroughly enjoyable. Watching the motley crew of the galaxy’s unshaven, swarthy outcasts kick imperial ass and sacrifice their lives makes for a thrilling night at the movies.

Doug's Favorite Movies of 2016

La La Land
Rogue One
Arrival
Hell or High Water
Everybody Wants Some!!
Hail Caesar!
10 Cloverfield Lane

La La Land

Inevitably, there will be backlash. There’s always a backlash. I was part of the backlash bandwagon for Birdman. People don’t want to see other people be happy. I get that. The funny thing is: La La Land doesn’t care what you think. La La Land requires no context. La La Land is not a reaction to the downward spiral of morale in the U.S. or a rejoinder to the grimness of Spotlight. La La Land is a brightly-burning candle in a vacuum. It’s delightful, it’s innovative, it’s funny, and it’s heartbreaking. It deserves every Oscar it wins. “But I don’t like musicals!” People will say. That’s fine. La La Land doesn’t need their oxygen. It will burn brightly on its own.

Jackie

Despite being way too short to play Jackie, Natalie Portman mines extreme emotional depths to portray the famous grieving widow. But no amount of perfectly-accented, blue-blooded scenery-chewing can make up for the fact that there’s just not that much of a plot here. Jackie plans the funeral a little bit, then wanders around in the house a bit, and then wanders around in the garden a bit, all with the accompaniment of the depressing monotone piano score. It’s all very maudlin, even if, as people say, it’s a treatise of feminism.

Rogue One

**  May the SPOILERS be with you! **

“Wow them in the end and you’ve got a hit.”

Remember when the fake Robert McKee said that to the fake Charlie Kauffman in Adaptation? That’s how it feels to watch Rogue One. Unlike the JJ Abrams directed The Force Awakens, which doesn’t really end because we know that it’s a franchise and for some reason Disney and Lucasfilm don’t trust us to come back for the next movie, so they have to end everything on a cliffhanger like it’s an episode of Lost, Rogue One ENDS. And we already know how it’s supposed to end! It’s been completely forecast and foreshadowed. It’s the opening crawl of Star Wars! And yet, it still ends beautifully and tragically.  No sequels here. It’s all over for some of these people, but they go out more heroically then almost anybody else in Star Wars, and that is extremely satisfying. So the beginning is sort of a mess. There are a million unanswered questions, there seems to be scenes missing, and at times I felt like I had walked into the movie halfway through without a clear introduction to some of the characters. You ask yourself, “Who the hell are these people?”

But they wowed me at the end and that makes it worth the price of the ticket and a bucket of popcorn.

“I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me!”

Lion

Well-acted but depressing true story about a dumb kid who gets lost in India. Super, super depressing.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

The funny thing about an adult being the protagonist in a "Harry Potter" universe movie is: as the kids are always jaw-droppingly amazed by all of the outlandish creatures and magic, the adults tend to be pretty blasé about the proceedings. That’s “Newt” played by Eddie Redmayne, who is so unimpressed by all of the drama he’s causing in New York that’s he’s almost whispering his lines. That gives this “Harry Potter” chapter an almost droll, Doctor Who kind of vibe, which is still very British. Rowling packs her plays with plot, and the lingo of the universe which is very exclusive and hard for muggles like me to understand sometimes. And like all movies these days, this doesn’t end. It just sets up another movie. Big surprise. Nothing happens. But be that as it may, it’s still a perfectly light and entertaining fantasy, pitting a kind of hippie magical zookeeper against the forces of evil. Revelations will hopefully occur – eventually.

Elle

** RAPE SPOILERS **

Paul Verhoeven’s sexy rape thriller features lots of rape. There’s a few rapes, and then a couple more rapes. Isabelle Huppert is the actress who gets raped and then she turns the tables to start doing some rapes herself. She doesn’t seem to care a lot that she’s getting raped, and maybe that what interests Verhoeven in the subject of sexy, sexy rape. It’s not a BAD sexy, rape thriller, for what it is, I guess. It’s well-acted and unique, for a sexy rape thriller. But just so you know, you’re signed up for a lot of rape.  (Oh! Also: music by Anne Dudley.) 

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk

An unfortunate case of “format overshadows function.” Ang Lee et al chose the brightest, deepest and most detailed 3D imaginable to tell a dull story about US soldiers getting way more credit than they want for fighting in the war in Iraq. Yes, the battle scenes and halftime football scenes make for some pretty cool footage in 12O frames per second. But that only represents about 10% of the movie. In the other scenes – rides in limos, arguments in sky-boxes, chatting in corridors, it feels like overkill. Intimate scenes are way, way over lit, and the acting feels stilted because the actors seem like they’re under a microscope. I could see how, for certain movies, this format would be amazing. But why this movie?? As for the story itself, there's not really a plot. It's a series of essays and vignettes that don't add up to much except for a vague theme -- a disturbing, conflicted, anti-war message. “Sorry you have PTSD kid, but if you don’t go back to Iraq, this cheerleader will think you’re a pussy. So, good luck!” If you see it, see it in a theater in the fancy, gimmicky format. This’ll be terrible on video.

Arrival

I’m always relieved when I sit down in a movie theater, the lights go down, and the aliens land. Alien parables always make poignant critiques of the human condition like war-mongering, environmental neglect, man’s inhumanity to man, etc. Arrival is analogous to the Tower of Babel, wherein an alien language is translated by different cultures, and of course, interpreted to reinforce their own fears and prejudices. But there’s one hero translator, Amy Adams, who trusts the E.T.s and listens with optimism and peace in her heart. Can she get entire cultures to listen before it’s too late?

Amy Adams is one of the best in the business. Her emotional journey is the spine of this movie, so it succeeds on an emotional level. There are some sci-fi time-jumps and alien razzle-dazzle that left the ending a little confusing for me. But I recognize: that’s not really the point. It’s about the interpreter being the hero. In the grimy, lie-filled era of Breitbart and Fox news, having a messenger who cares about the real truth can have global repercussions.

Doctor Strange

It’s kind of like The Matrix: A guy learns there are metaphysical netherworlds and he has to learn to navigate them. And the villain is determined to rule the world by dominating the metaphysical netherworlds. And then everybody fights.

Benedict Cumberbatch is really good here. He’s never reluctant or disbelieving of the metaphysical netherworlds, and gamely and humorously dives into them, at first for selfish reasons, but then for heroic ones. The visuals are fun and really trippy. The rules for metaphysical netherworlds are a bit fluid, as you can imagine, so creativity abounds.

More obviously than a lot of these comic book adaptations, this feels like an “act one.” The opening chapter. The odds aren’t greatly stacked against Doctor Strange and he has yet to be faced with tough choices. Danger will arrive in future episodes. (Stay for ALL of the end credits.) And you can’t really say this about a lot of movies these days: this must be seen in a theater. It won’t work on video.

Ouija: Origin of Evil

This is so close to being a Lifetime Channel movie it’s uncanny. A widowed mom and her 2 kids struggle to make the house payments. An evil man (in the form of a ghost) shows up to wreak havoc on their lives. Only the fact that it’s a period-piece and the acting is pretty good distinguishes this from those Saturday M.O.W.s. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t entertaining. Until the final moments, when a dogpile of twists undermines the skillfully rendered plot thus far, it’s pretty creepy. It almost feels like the final moments were filmmaking by committee -- lawyers or uncreative executive types forced ridiculous twists and sequel set-ups into a fairly solid story to squeeze every last dollar out of the project. It’s like a cake with way too much frosting. Be that as it may, this movie accomplishes exactly what I’m sure it aspired to do: scare 13-year-old girls and not embarrass itself in the process.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

There was a time when I couldn’t WAIT for the next Tim Burton movie. But I wasn’t that excited about this one, and I’m not sure why. Maybe because I never read the book? Nevertheless, it feels like someone copied the style of Tim Burton, but it doesn’t feel like Burton, and again I’m not sure why. The characters, the children in the home for peculiar children, all seem very similar: Polite, well-dressed, well-spoken, and very British. They’re not peculiar as much as they’re horribly deformed, but are trying their best to fit in by dressing nicely. I think the “X-MEN: mutants are okay” theme gets a little lost, which is too bad. There’s a jumpy, time-travel plot, which always means the stakes are pretty low, since all setbacks can be corrected. And there are some MAJOR logic holes. But Eva Green is good, so there’s one in the win column. The bottom line is: special effects have peaked. We can do anything now FX-wise, so to fill a movie with visuals just isn’t enough. We need a return to storytelling. I felt very “meh” about this, which is not the way I want to feel about a “Tim Burton movie.”

Hell or High Water

Texas. Beer. Guns. Throw in a couple of well-meaning bank robbers and you got yourself a movie. The cast is great here. The pace is brisk. The action is tense. And there’s no bad guy. The bad guy is the bank that low-balls sick people and repos their houses. So it’s not even that the story is so original or that the plot is so strong. These are pretty conventional pieces. It’s the THEME that makes this so good. It makes you want to rob a bank.

The Magnificent Seven

So you have a black guy, a Mexican guy, a Chinese guy, a Native American, a guy with PTSD, a giant person, and an addict. Is that seven? Yep, that’s seven. And the message is clear: when the discriminated-against minorities band together, then they can defeat armies of the establishment – white males who marginalize everyone so they can keep their power. Spoiler alert: There might be some martyrs for the cause. But sometimes you have to force change. There were no women in the "seven." Maybe they’ll make a sequel: The Magnificent 8?

Don't Breathe

When you boil this down, it’s a pretty conventional horror movie. College kids wander into a place they’re not supposed to be and suffer the consequences. There’s excellent cause and effect here, and a great use of setting and space. But like all movies in this genre, the characters lack basic common sense, and that can be frustrating. Jane Levy carries this – she’s always been good. And the pace and short running time keeps you engaged. So it’s slightly better than the average version of this type of thing. It’s a hit. I’m happy for Ghost House. But reinvent the wheel? They did not.

Suicide Squad

I’ll be curious to see the David Ayer/director’s cut of this if it ever gets released. They say WB hired the company who cut the trailer to spice this up a little bit. But it feels hackneyed and rushed. Lengthy segments feel like they were skipped over. Bottom line: Margot Robbie is good as Harley Quinn, but it’s hard to know what her super villain power is. Is she just a super smart-aleck?? Is that enough? Oh, and also: Jared Leto was TERRIBLE as The Joker. It makes you wonder if that’s why they had to hack up the movie.

The D.C. universe is 0 for 3. Here’s hoping Wonder Woman can rescue them all.

Lo and Behold

Werner Herzog’s new doc is about the origins of the internet. But it’s also about how the internet changed and affected society, in positive and negative ways. It’s a thoughtful essay, narrated, of course, by Herzog himself, whose poetic, German-accented whispery-ness hypnotizes and coaxes, but never proselytizes about his subjects. Gripping and enlightening.

Sausage Party

Hot dogs look like penises! Yay!

War Dogs

What if the characters in THE WOLF OF WALL STREET were war profiteers? WAR DOGS takes the zany, foul-mouthed bro-mance approach, enticing and then destroying the young, money-hungry whippersnapper anti-heroes with dreams of riches and financial security. Better than most movies like this, filmmakers do a good job of explaining exactly how their business worked, and how it was possible for it to go completely off the rails. So, it was actually educational and informative. It won’t make a huge splash, but it’s well-acted, it moves quick, and it’s captivating.

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie

I never watched this show, so there were a lot of inside jokes that I probably didn’t get. But the women are funny and I laughed. You can sense the desperation in the characters as they get older, but try to hang on to their old lives. Aren’t we all!

Jason Bourne

Overall, during a stale, disappointing summer of movies, this is a serviceable and enjoyable action movie. What was always different about the “Bourne” movies was the long takes and raw urgency. Unfortunately, Matt Damon doesn’t do the hand-to-hand the way he used to -- when the characters really seemed like they were trying to kill each other. But the raw urgency is still there. There are several epic set-pieces which are a thrill to watch, but what’s wild is: these are now becoming conventional. The new thing is: How does Jason Bourne hide from the evil higher-ups when there’s such a huge lack of privacy? Does he turn evil, government turncoats spying/privacy playbook against them? How? Has he been taking computer classes?

Batman: The Killing Joke

First of all, I’m proud to say I saw this in the theater.

Anyhoo… “Many critics consider the graphic novel to be the definitive Joker story and one of the best Batman stories ever published.” There was a lot of pressure on the DC/WB animation department to get this one right. They did a GREAT job with THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS. Using the cast from the 90’s era animated series is a great step in the right direction. Unfortunately, this kinda sucked. The original book is short. It wouldn’t even make a half-hour episode. So they added an entire prelude to this involving Batgirl, which wasn’t at all terrible, but, you know, it just wasn’t THE KILLING JOKE. So, it didn’t really fit. Also, spoiler alert, Batgirl and Batman have steamy hot cosplay sex in this, which to my understanding, isn’t canon and seemed really silly. The small section of the movie that actually followed the book was cool, but my mood was already ruined by the prelude. Hard to recommend this. Maybe the next one, with the voices of Adam West and Burt Ward, will be better?

Star Trek Beyond

I couldn’t recall the plot if I had a phaser to my head. Suffice to say, it was a new story with new villains. Which is refreshing, since everything else about the Star Trek franchise is so well-worn and engrained. It’s entertaining, and it feels new, even though, as I said, forgettable.

Swiss Army Man

At some point during this movie, I found myself thinking, “This is why I go to the movies.” Even though there are some previously used plot points and themes in here, lifted from Castaway, Weekend at Bernie’s, and every 60’s era, live-action Disney movie, there’s something about this that feels really original. A lot of that uniqueness comes from the commitment of the actors, Paul Dano and Daniel Radcliff. There’s something very sweet and endearing about their friendship. Filmmakers have sublimely emotional aspirations here. It doesn’t always work, and the ending is a little disappointing, but… If you want something funny and weird and completely different from a super-hero movie: dive on in.

The Lobster

I hated this movie, but I’m not sure why, because it seems like something I would like. I’m okay with quirky, but I’m annoyed by quirky for quirky’s sake. When the rules of the quirky universe don’t have inner logic, then it’s really just an artistic jerk-off with no real point. There are laughs and the performances are astute. But when the themes and motifs contradict one another and can easily be deconstructed and ripped apart, than I start getting angry. I hate leaving the theater angry.

Nice Guys

Funny, and lot of throwback, signature Shane Black-isms, if there is such a thing. There’s a great physicality to this film, and excellent, action-movie cause and effect. There are times when it almost feels like a Warner Brothers/ Coyote and Roadrunner cartoon; the McGuffin bounces around from person to person and bullets fly and guys go careening through plate-glass windows, cracking wise the whole time. It’s all good fun.

Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

Andy Samberg has proven himself to be consistently funny in Brooklyn 99. So with nothing to “prove”, he can just go out and be as silly as possible. Last summer’s HBO movie Seven Days in Hell did just that, and it acts as a precursor to this: a still R-Rated but more mainstream spoof. Like most of the Lonely Island sketches on SNL, the appeal of the songs was always that they were a little bit catchy, actually somewhat competent. The same is true here, especially a love/booty jam about Osama Bin Laden. Like The Rutles and CB4, there’s interviews and performances with real popstars, doing their best to play it straight. Pink is great here. It’s everything you’d expect from a Lonely Island movie, it’s funny and catchy, and it might inspire you to get on Youtube and look back at their old catalog.

X-Men: Apocalypse

Underwhelming and unremarkable. Performance wise, Lawrence and Fassbender do the heavy lifting, but unfortunately they find themselves standing around waiting for Oscar Issacs to finish his long speeches. Funny enough, there’s not a lot of action for an action movie. Like the last movie, Quicksilver gets his solo, which works, and the cameo from Wolverine kicks ass, as it should. It’s not terrible, but it feels a bit phoned in.

X-Men always seems to work best when it serves as an  allegory for discriminated-against minorities. There’s little smatterings of that here, especially with Cyclops’ origin story. But there needs to be more. Weird, blue Egyptian Gods bloviating entertains only for so long.

Keanu

It’s no surprise that a "Key & Peele" movie would just be a bunch of sketches strung together. While the plot of the movie is thin, there are laughs and there is a little bit of social commentary. What does it mean to be black? What does it mean to be tough? Why are these things expected to go hand-in-hand? This won’t really resonate, but wasn’t a waste of time either.

Money Monster

George Clooney says it’s not about Jim Cramer. It’s about the system. But the problem with this is: it turns out not to be an indictment of the system. There’s one guy, an evil British villain who broke the law, mislead investors, etc, etc. That being said, for what it is: Dog Day Afternoon meets Network, is a decent thriller, well-acted and well-directed by Jodie Foster. But I can almost hear the studio notes as I’m watching it. “There has to be a villain. A system can’t be a villain.”

Captain America: Civil War

** SPOILERS**

We need to talk about Bucky. He’s not himself. He’s either being brainwashed or framed or something by a German dude, who has no superpowers. And we should all fight about it. But maybe that’s what the evil, German dude wants??

I guess that’s as good a reason as any for superheroes to fight. Bucky seems like a peripheral character, and whether or not he’s in control of his actions or not doesn’t seem like it would warrant all of this superhero posturing and hullaballoo. But revelations happen, as they often do, and now vengeances must be strenuously undertaken.

The huge cast of this movie is remarkable. There are a lot of really expensive Oscar-types in supporting roles. The abundant action is thrilling and also somewhat track-able (But it’s no Mad Max). The visual effects are, of course, unparalleled. The music is good. Someone cared about this movie. Someone wanted audiences to get their money’s worth. Is it a great movie? Nah. Not really. But it gets an “A” for effort.

It’s hard to really predict when the bombardment of superhero movies will end, and how they’ll keep people’s interest going forward. It’ll be interesting to see what happens to Marvel’s Netflix shows: The scaled-back, day-to-day life of a costumed vigilante (Daredevil, Jessica Jones). For now, the “battle of the network stars” business model is fun, but is it sustainable? Why am I worried about the business model??  

Everybody Wants Some!!

It’s classic Rick Linklater. Like Dazed and Confused, Before Sunrise, Suburbia, and Boyhood before it, it’s a movie driven by characters and theme, but the plot is a little fluid. Strong themes exploring the nature of young men forming a team, bonding, trying to fit in, and trying to get laid proliferate. And at the end of the movie, after the college baseball teammates have been to a disco, a country bar, and a punk bar trying to meet women, you kind of get it: It’s all an essay about having a posse, a tribe. Like other Linklater movies, there are a couple of young actors who turn in classic, star-making performances here: (think Ethan Hawke, Matthew McConaughey): remember the names Juston Street and Glenn Powell. But everybody in the ensemble cast is solid.  Linklater seems to be determined to prove that you don’t need a strong plot to invoke strong feelings.

Batman vs Superman: The Dawn of Justice

Who would win in a fight between Batman and Superman? Superman, obviously. But what if Batman had a weapon made of kryptonite? Well, then all bets are off, right?? I know: let’s spend 400 million dollars to answer the questions that stump eight-year-olds.

There are images in this that are beautiful. Perfectly composed, spectacularly lit, sublime. It’s too bad Zack Snyder and his team won’t hold on these beautiful compositions for more than a nanosecond. It’s also too bad that the script makes zero sense and seems like it was written by the eight-year-olds that were asking all those tough questions in the first place. The plot is baffling. If someone who understands it could please call me and explain it to me, that would be great.

Batman and Superman are both having dreams in this. The dreams seem to be important, and function as Easter eggs for the fans of the Justice League canon. But they do nothing but bog this movie down, because they make absolutely NO SENSE. Thanks for playing to the fans, but come on, guys, the movie still needs to be cohesive!

Like a lot of superhero sequels, this movie is guilty of biting off too much. It was the same story with Man of Steel: Make a five-hour movie, then cut it down to two. Affleck gets to make his own Batman movie at some point. Maybe he’ll bring the storytelling chops he brought to Argo and The Town.