American: The Bill Hicks Story

A sad but very well-made doc about comedian Bill Hicks. Most impressive was the Ken Burns style photo animation, ramped up to a Monty Python level of intensity. Interesting, too, because it avoids the usual star-power interviews about celebrity, etc.

The American

A slow and pretty dull spy thriller. Not that bad, or so terribly made, but a lot of this was like watching paint dry. Clooney helps hold this together, with a little help from the oft-nude European woman, Violante Placido. But I was about ten seconds ahead of the plot the whole time, so there were few surprises.

Mesrine: Part 1

Not necessarily a badly made film, but very clichéd. Many of the same crime drama episodes that we’ve seen a hundred times before are here again, but this time they’re in French. It wants to be Peckinpah. It wants to be Tarantino. It succeeds in imitating what it intends to.

Machete

Funny, but could have been funnier. It’s no Black Dynamite.

Piranha 3D

Quick, Elizabeth Shue, that guy needs a bandage! Rip off your shirt and use it as a tourniquet! Oh no! Now there are hundreds of partying girls in bikinis being eaten! In 3-D! There’s blood everywhere! It looks like the opening of Saving Private Ryan! But your kids are lost in a boat out on the lake! Better go save them! Thank God Ving Rhames is there to chop up a few of the dino-fish and thank God Doc Brown is there to explain the plot! Swim, Elizabeth Shue’s horny, thickheaded son! Swim for your life!

Middle Men

A strong, fast-paced bio-pic cut from the same cloth as Blow and Boogie Nights. Luke Wilson plays it perfectly, a laid-back, light-on-his-feet Texas businessman. A good guy in over his head. Supporting cast is a mixed bag. The filmmakers didn’t reinvent the wheel, but it’s an interesting slice of embellished history and it’s never boring.

The Expendables

Really felt like it time-travelled from the 80’s. So it’s not nostalgic, or even tongue-in-cheek, it’s a bona fide throwback, for better or worse. I’m amazed Kurt Russell didn’t show up. Stallone and the gang all seem like they’re having fun, even though the script is weak and doesn’t make sense most of the time. Also, it could have been a little more violent. I’m happy for Stallone, but… meh.

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Great! It’s not the second coming, but the special thing about this feast of eye-candy is that the filmmakers appear to have an unbridled joy of movies. They seem to love cinema, and editing, and hero and villain clichés and all the sugary ingredients that cook-up to make an enjoyable night at the theatre. The playful comic-book, video-game devices keep the story rocketing forward and the laughs rolling in. The dialogue is snappy and quick-witted, the music is catchy, and the effects are all uber original and creative. Kudos to everyone involved.

The Other Guys

The sillier of the “bromance” comedies this weekend, The Other Guys does a good job of landing jokes and keeping the action spry. It’s a featherweight spoof more determined to showcase Ferrell/Wahlberg schtick than goof on particular cop movie clichés, which is fine. How could any movie surpass Loaded Weapon 1?

Dinner for Schmucks

Succeeds because Steve Carell and Paul Rudd own and embody their characters SO WELL. If there had been any winking at the camera or any false notes, the whole comedy house-of-cards would have collapsed. But because you have to believe that Carell’s socially inept recluse has the best possible intentions, the preposterous situations set up and payoff skillfully, creating an explosion of humiliation about every three minutes. It runs long and it doesn’t really surprise story-wise, but the characterizations are expertly, sublimely goofy.

Salt

The last time I enjoyed Angelina Jolie in anything (Not counting Kung Fu Panda) was Mr. And Mrs. Smith. I’m just not crazy about her choices. But despite the terrible title, Salt isn’t bad. It’s got a Jason Bourne, Manchurian Candidate vibe with some fun twists. The taut action and brisk pace, orchestrated with precision by Jolie’s Bone Collector helmsman Philip Noyce, beguiles you into ignoring the big plot holes and the impossibility of Jolie’s physical feats. So, taken with a grain, it’s one of the funner movies of an unimpressive summer.

Inception

Second viewing. There’s no point to all of the "what’s-it-about" guesswork. It’s an action movie. Buckle up and enjoy the ride.

Inception

** SPOILER ALERT **

Chris Nolan’s experiment in originality is a blast of fresh air over what was shaping up to be a stagnant and stale summer. It’s not in 3-D, but it might as well be. It’s a completely visceral experience -- you can’t just sit and idly watch. It’s tense, and it grabs you and never lets go, minute by minute, scene by scene. Chris Nolan and company honor their dreamworld subject matter and treat it with utmost seriousness. It feels important. It’s why so many of his fans worldwide are beholden to his every move -- he rewards them by RESPECTING the art form and the fan’s thirst for something new and cerebral. But it’s not a journey of typical human emotion, so it’s not sentimental or "good triumphing over evil" or whatever. The emotion is in the tension, kind of like Hurt Locker. Like the characters, you’re lost in a maze, and that feeling of fear and disorientation is the emotion that drives the movie. So even though the acting is excellent, character-wise, it’s a bit thin. But I can forgive Inception for having a slightly thin emotional spine, especially if something REALLY COOL is happening on screen. And Joseph Gordon-Levitt, defying gravity, bounding through the hotel halls, kicking asses, and "floating" his colleagues to safety… that was REALLY FUCKING COOL.

The Kids Are Alright

A strong and familiar family drama. It’s as if the filmmakers decided: because the parents are gay, the rest of the plot and story must stay safely within family drama conventions. It was certainly not necessary, keeping this story so predictable and fenced-in, but it works for what it is: a very well-acted and not all that surprising piece of dangling Oscar bait.

Predators

I can imagine the pitch meeting. The filmmakers said, “Let’s remake Predator but with good actors.” It’s not perfect, but it’s a lot of fun and pretty bad-ass. To me, it’s as if the Hollywood town crier rang a bell and declared, “Summer is finally here!”

Grown Ups

This piece of shit is a fucking travesty. The arrogance and laziness on display is appalling. How DARE the filmmakers misuse this ensemble of strong actors and comedians with this sophomoric, story-less script. Did Adam Sandler and company honestly think, “We don’t need a script! We’re hilarious! We’ll just shoot a long-ass montage in a water park and the jokes’ll write themselves!” Fuck you, Adam Sandler! Have some fucking respect. You had Maya Rudolph, for Christ sake! You had Maria Bello? And this? This lazy, conceited piece of shit is what you come up with? You’re fucking dead to me, Sandler. Funny People SUCKED! I don’t even think P.T. Anderson can save you now. “Hey everybody! Let’s make a movie by a lake in the summer! And we’ll take all of our friends and it’ll just be one big, expensive party that the studio will pay for! We don’t need a script. We’ll just get all the guys together and go canoeing and pee off the side of the boat! It’ll be hilarious! ‘Cause peeing is funny! And off of a canoe!? That’s priceless!” Fuck you, Happy Madison. The Waterboy was twelve years ago. You better get off your rich, lazy ass and do something funny, because this bullshit about releasing your home movies of your vacation with your buddies as a feature film doesn’t fucking fly.

Cyrus

I liked this. It’s funny and poignant. Yes, there are some dangling loose ends, but nothing crucial. It’s a charming take on a topical subject matter, and a strong blend of sentiment and humiliation. Kudos to the Duplass Brothers.

Grey Skies

A very low-budget take on a trapped in a cabin, ufo abduction tale. The cast was apt and the money-saving techniques were clever. Should easily find a home on SyFy.

Centurion

I’m a little rusty on my ancient history, so I had a little trouble following which Roman was who and where the fuck they were. I wish I’d read up on the whole “Romans in Scotland circa 100 A.D.” thing on Wikipedia beforehand. Nevertheless, there's lots of heads flying and blood splattering and entrails protruding and swords impaling, so it’s really entertaining. All the performances are solid, and the technical stuff is all top notch. Sure, I would’ve had a better time if I knew who was who and why they were all trying to decapitate each other, but that’s a minor note.

Jonah Hex

It’s well-directed, but it’s a post-production train wreck. The music is terrible, there’s no color-correction, and the movie feels hacked-up for time. Blech! I normally wouldn’t notice things like that, so it’s obvious that some bean counters finished the movie in spite of the director. The performances that remain are decent, but one wonders how much better the movie would have been if the meddlers had given Josh Brolin enough time to stare-down bad guys before sawing them in half with a Gatling gun.

The People Vs. George Lucas

It’s therapy for Star Wars geeks. An interesting and well-made doc about people who love Star Wars but were irrationally devastated by George Lucas’ various departures of common sense and artistry. The gist, and it’s a good one, is that Lucas should release the old movies as they were as well as the new way.

Toy Story 3

Wow.

It starts out unextraordinarily, a Great Escape adventure populated by Pixar’s great familiar heroes. Fun and funny, but nothing Earth-shattering. But in the second half it gets heavy. It becomes about legacy, family, and death. And just when you’re through another impossibly dramatic plot revelation, filmmakers blindside you with another one, more complex, more surprising, and more emotional. Heart strings are not being tugged, they’re being yanked and woven and dyed and dirtied and dry-cleaned. It’s devastating, but beautifully made, and a must-see in 3-D.

Also, the short beforehand, Day and Night was amazing. One of their best. Volumes could be written about how good it is, too.

The Killers

We walked out of this after about an hour. Everything was so horribly FORCED. It was awful.

The A-Team

A movie that feels like it was blasted out of a cannon. Ridiculous, forgettable fun.

Get Him to the Greek

Likeable buddy road movie tries to be funny, raunchy, and character driven all at once. For the most part, it succeeds. Russell Brand’s rock star party beast was custom-built for him. No one else could play this part. He can even sing! Attempts at character development are clumsy, though. It’s best when the filmmakers go for the silly.

Splice

It’s not often, and it’s a rare treat, when a movie that appears to be a typical sci-fi cautionary tale gets... FREAKY. Like as in sexually freaky. Kinky. Cronenbergian. How are puritanical Americans going to react to this? Who knows. I LIKED it. I thought it was cool. Refreshingly, psychosexually bold. That’s all I’ll say.

MacGruber

Brief moments of mild amusement, but mostly pretty stale. I never really got the SNL sketch, and I didn’t really get this. But Val Kilmer makes a game villain. He seems to understand what he signed up for and schemes appropriately.

Date Night

Funny. I laughed. Steve Carell and Tiny Fey are comedy pros, and their timing is impeccable. In less expert hands, the whole ridiculous yarn would feel worn out and hacky. But the leads elevate the material and make a stilted script exciting, enjoyable and fun.

Survival of the Dead

A low-stakes zombie scenario by the genre’s grandfather George Romero. The acting by the primarily Irish cast is proficient but the script is weak. Not because anything’s unclear or stupid, but just because the stakes feel really low. It seems like it could be a small chapter in a much larger movie. Nevertheless, it functions well, as all good zombie parables do, as a metaphor for how human beings treat each other.

Exit Through the Gift Shop

A wild documentary about a filmmaker following street artists who decides, “I could do that.” A fast-paced and pretty straightforward doc, but calls into question so many things about the definition of art and its purpose. Fascinating and worth seeing, even though I often wondered, as I was watching, how much of it was a hoax, or contrived for the benefit of the camera, and whether there was anything inauthentic about that. To elaborate on whether or not something is a hoax or not is sort of missing the point. Whether the story or characters are true or not, it is authentically entertaining and thought-provoking.

Robin Hood

Forgetting all of the crazy shit this movie went through in development, I thought this was pretty good. It’s not one of Ridley Scott’s better movies by any stretch, but it’s still better than many ordinary movies. That’s basically because any movie where guys kill other guys with sticks automatically gets a c+ right out of the gate. And if the guys getting killed are French, that’s another boost. So I thought it was a fine piece of “guys killing French dudes with sticks” entertainment, which is all I really expected.

Iron Man 2

Thoroughly enjoyed this sequel, though I had no heavy-duty expectations. The theme of weapons stockpiling and war profiteering is a worthy one, and provides the slimmest of foundations for filmmakers to build a spectacular comic book adventure. Action scenes are exciting, but sparse. The movie seems more intent spending time with Tony Stark descending into illness, self-doubt, and alcohol abuse, which is fine with me. Downey delivers on all levels: the silly and the pseudo-serious. Special kudos to Mickey Rourke, who totally gets his cold-war relic villain. Dead serious, so he doesn’t steal any thunder from Sam Rockwell or Downey, but still deliciously monosyllabic and coldly vindictive. All in all, a fun night at the movies.

The Losers

It’s The A-team lite. (If that’s something that really needs a “lite” version.) Plenty of shooting and ass-kicking, double-crosses and betrayals. A good filler of time, but won’t resonate. It’s just too featherweight; too fleeting.

Kick Ass

Yep. I saw it again.

Kick Ass

SPOILER ALERT!

Surprisingly dramatic, Kick Ass does a good job of motivating the hero; frontloading the movie with visceral, vengeance-triggering clashes so when it comes time for the hero to “kick ass” – she does. That’s the big twist. One of a few really good surprises about this that puts it a cut above: The hero is “Hit Girl.” And “Kick Ass” is more of a sidekick. Yes, he has a small arc. But nothing like the show-stopping and scene-stealing bloodbath dispensed by the violent little hellion played by Chloe Moretz. The filmmakers expertly and methodically set-up her story, as told by her father, Nic Cage’s “Big Daddy.” And being patient pays off. Kick Ass lives up to its title. You’d be surprised how happy you’ll be watching this ten-year-old girl not just kick the asses of but brutally KILL everyone in her path. Sure, it derives a lot from Kill Bill, The Professional, and a slew of fetishy Japanese action flicks. But that’s the point: to give you what you want. And you want to see a ten-year-old in a Catholic school girl outfit dismembering goons. Don’t you?

Clash of the Titans

This has been a tough entry to write because I don’t really have anything to say about this movie. Sam Worthington is becoming the go-to leading man. I can see why. He’s sincere and formidable. But kind of bland here. The 3-D was retrofitted, so sometimes it seems funky and jerky. It’s not terrible, but just totally forgettable.

The Big Lebowski

Great seeing this on the big screen at Lebowski Fest 2010. Like a rock concert with thousands of screaming fans.

Hot Tub Time Machine

The viewing public and the ad campaign would have you believe that Hot Tub Time Machine is all about reliving your youth, righting wrongs, and generally getting a “do-over” in life to fulfill your long-lost dreams. But there was another layer about losing touch with your old friends as you get older. The issue comes up many times in the dialogue. How did the main characters lives stall-out, or take such drastic turns away from their young man dreams? Because they lost touch with their close friends, who egg them on when encouragement is needed and check-up on them once in while, so the burden of loneliness doesn’t take over. None of these issues really get resolved beyond a quick line of dialogue or two, but it’s interesting that they’re there. Maybe they’ll dig more deeply into that in the sequel.

Otherwise, it’s a funny movie with some of the usual sex-comedy shenanigans. Performances are par for the course, except for an especially funny turn from time-travel movie veteran Crispin Glover as an armless bell-hop. I laughed from beginning to end. Not pee-in-my-pants laughter, but the amused chuckling kind of laughter, which is fine with me.

How to Train Your Dragon

Hiccup reveals his desires in life neatly in the opening minutes. As a teenager, he wants to be his own man but still lives and longs for his father’s approval. He’s a nerd, and rather than wield an ungainly axe or hammer, he aspires to use his mind to invent new ways to do things, i.e. hunt pesky dragons. And, of course, he wants the girl, but he’s a nerd and doesn’t think he has a shot.

It’s not that How To Train Your Dragon is all that original, it’s just SO WELL DONE. In the first five minutes of the movie, filmmakers successfully create a fully relatable character. From then on, Hiccup's voice and desire drives the plot, and we completely understand how he and Toothless, the bad-ass misunderstood dragon, could secure such a deep bond. The jury’s still out on the 3-D trend, but in this case it’s a MUST SEE in 3-D. Filmmakers deliberately use 3-D to showcase the depth and danger of Hiccup’s hostile home, and it’s a delight to see him and Toothless dart through the jagged rocks and islands and shoot up into the sky.

To put it another way, it’s not like they reinvented the wheel, they just made one REALLY good wheel.

One Too Many Mornings

Interesting, ultra-low budget buddy comedy about a young party animal trying to quit drinking. Noble cost-cutting efforts and some decent performances make it watchable, but the script felt like it missed some opportunities. Still, a really strong effort.

The Green Zone

A very well-made movie, but a bit of a downer. We all know how it’s going to end: our elected officials lie about WMDs to justify invading Iraq. So in spite of some extremely dynamic and exciting action sequences, and another rock-solid portrayal from Matt Damon, it’s hard not to come out of the theater feeling pissed off.

Alice in Wonderland

Enjoyable in 3-D, but not a lot of heavy-duty story. The effects are great, and the lead Mia Wasikowska is sturdy and watchable, but the moments that are supposed to be funny aren’t really that funny. So it’s a mixed bag, but worth seeing for the visual feast.

Brooklyn's Finest

This should have been called, “Whatever you do, don’t go to Brooklyn. It’s a gang-infested hell-hole.” The movie skillfully jumps around between multiple characters all of whom are cops. The acting is strong but we don’t spend enough time with the characters to REALLY get to know them. Technically impressive, suspenseful sequences of police raids in tight, confined gang lairs make for gripping drama. But it’s ultimately a depressing depiction of corruption and good cops’ fruitless efforts to control drug-violence.

The Crazies

Pretty much what you would expect from a movie called, “The Crazies.” It’s more or less a zombie scenario. Timothy Olyphant plays the ubiquitous sheriff stoically but the movie suffers from poorly thought-out, “Scooby Doo” logic (i.e. “Hey gang! Let’s split up!”), presumably to insert suspense. There’s an interesting supporting performance from Joe Anderson, and some decent production value, but otherwise this is an average and forgettable remake.

Ghost Writer

A twisty thriller with old-fashioned sensibilities. No knife-wielding psychopaths or torture. It’s about books and writers and spies. It felt very 70’s. Ewan McGregor plays Roman Polanski’s surrogate superbly -- a man under siege by a presumed conspiracy. But that’s where the comparisons to Polanski’s crimes end. McGregor’s anonymous writer is innocent, and stumbles into a situation by accident that becomes more complicated the more he unravels it. Enjoyable and worth seeing.

The Tooth Fairy

Yes, I saw this. What of it?? Wanna fight about it?? Anyway, it’s a dud. I think Dwayne Johnson can be funny (i.e. Southland Tales), but he’s not Jim Carrey. He can’t make an unfunny script funny by sheer will. Even for a kid’s movie, the jokes were stale and the timing was off. Johnson’s character was uneven and inconsistent, and badly contrived redemption scenes have him redeeming himself for things that weren’t presented as problems in the first place. The supporting cast was out of synch, too. And The Rock standing there in a tutu isn’t foundation enough to build a feature length comedy.

Shutter Island

Expertly filmed and acted in every way. Everyone in the cast was great from DiCaprio to the gripping cameos from Jackie Earle Haley and Patrica Clarkson. Apparent allegiance to the source novel is honorable, but causes the movie to drag a little. Certain scenes, up to and including Ben Kingsley finally explaining the far-fetched plot to everybody, could have been shorter. But high-marks for everything -- the music, acting, and design all make for an extremely unalloyed, if slightly lugubrious thriller.

The Wolfman

Worth it for the scenes of great carnage. There were entrails everywhere! Attempts to rush through the first act are clunky. The bombastic Danny Elfman score is overused early on, and loses impact later. It should have started slow, like a regular corset drama, rather than the highlight-reel-style editing there is now. “Previously on Lost…” Del Toro was GREAT, but the supporting cast was unextraordinary. It’s no masterpiece, but like I said, there are a couple of fantastic scenes of wolfman pandemonium, beautifully and bloodily filmed by Joe Johnson and company, paying great tribute to the classic sub-genre.

Legion

Disappointing. It’s poorly directed, and the dramatic timing is way off. Scenes that should have been longer and more elaborate get cut short. Unnecessary scenes go on way too long. Dennis Quaid and most of the cast are off of their game. Paul Bettany is good, but he’s not enough. Too bad. It’s a ripe premise, but execution was half-assed.

Edge of Darkness

Mel Gibson, looking sad and leathery, pries, interrogates and punches his way through this -- a Death Wish meets Erin Brockovich melodrama. Gibson still commands attention as an actor and I admire the premise. Execution is by-the-numbers and detectivy with few surprises. But the acting’s strong and the pace is brisk, so I didn’t hate it. It’s been so long since I’ve seen a movie that I think I was just glad to see anything.

The Book of Eli

Attempts to surprise and upset expectations are admirable, and Denzel is always watchable, but there really isn’t a plot. And after learning about all of the revelations, looking back at the thin plot can be frustrating -- there’s some logic cheating going on. The look is cool and atmospheric, but filmmakers try too hard, and the movie sometimes seems like a commercial for sunglasses.

Youth In Revolt

I saw this again because I liked it so much.

The Princess and the Frog

I have almost nothing interesting to say about this. Animators had fun with some of the cool voodoo sequences, but the songs by Randy Newman were dull and they all sounded the same. Too bad. A wasted opportunity to include some great music. I’m not really the target demo for this, though, am I?

Doug's Favorite Movies of the Decade

A History of Violence
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Spiderman 2
Kill Bill: Vol 2
Bad Santa
Sideways
The 40 Year Old Virgin
Amélie
Mulholland Drive
Memento
The Five Obstructions
Lars and the Real Girl
The Mist

Honorable Mention:

The Wrestler
Slumdog Millionaire
Black Hawk Down
A Serious Man
Solaris
Wall-E
The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
Forgetting Sara Marshall
The Rules of Attraction
Pirates of the Caribbean
Ratatouille

Doug's Favorite Movies of 2009

Hurt Locker
A Serious Man
Avatar
Youth in Revolt
Zombieland
World’s Greatest Dad
Inglourious Basterds
District 9
Black Dynamite
Moon
Drag Me to Hell
Watchmen

Honorable Mention:
Duplicity
Star Trek
State of Play

Sherlock Holmes

More or less enjoyable, but it’s not going to shed any new light on the Sherlock Holmes legend, other than that he apparently knew karate. Robert Downey, riding the wave of his new leading-man status, plays it a little too roguish and over-the-top. Perhaps he’s holding on too tightly to his zany supporting character technique. It’s fast moving at times, and painfully dull in others. But as a popcorny adventure, it won't resonate, but it’s perfectly suitable.

Avatar

Amazing. Beautiful to behold and full of wonder. (I’m not being sarcastic.) It’s full of enlightening juxtapositions and contradictions. Filmmaker James Cameron loves all things military: protocol, barking orders and uniforms. But based on the themes of almost all of his movies, he detests the military industrial complex, and sticks-it to war mongering and imperialism as often as he can. He loves machines and metal, but also biology and life. He loves weapons, but he’s also a sucker for a sappy love story. It’s all in Avatar, and he is absolutely DETERMINED to give you your money’s worth.

The story is pat, there’s no doubt. It’s Pocahontas or Dances with Wolves. But the story almost HAS to be standard so we the audience will find something familiar to hang on to while filmmakers inundate us with so many new concepts and creatures in an entirely brand new world. Archetypes are archetypes for a reason. Star Wars did it. Blade Runner did it. Who Framed Roger Rabbit did it. But even if the story in Avatar is by-the-numbers, the science fiction concepts are off the charts, original, and untried. Substantial screen time is dedicated to introducing and expounding on the ecosystem of planet Pandora, the unique setting which can best be described as having a singular central nervous system for every living thing on the planet. Neopagan symbolism is everywhere, as is the very transparent allegory to the war in Iraq. Performances from the principal cast are top notch, especially considering the unique technical challenges to this kind of acting. Unfortunately, there is an evil, one-dimensional military dude who comes off as ridiculous. But you have to have a villain, I guess, and maybe Paul Reiser wasn’t available.

It’s an absolute must-see in 3-D. See it now -- it just won’t be the same on video. The previews on TV make it look corny and videogamey, but in the theater it’s truly stunning. And it’s not just eye-candy. Perhaps one of the most emotional moments, as cheesy as it sounds, is when a certain, special tree gets wiped out. My heart sank. Yes, it’s long. Yes, at times, it’s sappy and clichéd. But I’ll be damned if it’s not the best value around for seventeen dollars.

The Lovely Bones

Disappointing. There’s no one driving the story. Performances from good actors are smothered because of a weak script that lacked character development and a forward-moving plot. Sure it’s sad, but it’s emotionally hollow, as there’s no satisfying resolution. Susan Sarandon’s the one bright spot. She lights up the screen as a groovy grandma in what is otherwise a down, dour, and pointless meditation on the afterlife. (You’re better off renting The Frighteners!)

Also, for anyone who cares, it's NOT a good DATE MOVIE!

The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans

Nic Cage is rusty. No doubt about it. He’s been in so many crappy movies lately, none of which have allowed him to tap into all of those weird ticks and quirks that USED to make him an interesting actor, and now days make him a parody of himself. But in this, Werner Herzog and company let him loose, and the lunacy is inspired. Yes, the movie’s too long. It drags at times. But the magical moments when Cage is on and it starts getting crazy, it’s hysterical. The rest of the ensemble is surprisingly good, and the story is strong, even if the pace is sluggish. Not a home run. Not a classic. But a nice reminder of the Nic Cage of yore; Raising Arizona, Birdy, Vampire’s Kiss, Wild at Heart, and Leaving Las Vegas come to mind. For a second, you can actually forget National Treasure.

Up in the Air

** SPOILER ALERT!

George Clooney is great in this and completely embodies his laid-bad, non-committal hatchet-man. He makes it look so easy. Watching him train his over-zealous underling, Anna Kendrick, is the nucleus of the story and these are the best scenes in the movie. When he’s met his match in a female counterpart, Vera Farmiga, the possibilities are infinite and it’s a delight to watch it all unfold. But then, two-thirds of the way through, his character becomes secondary and passive while we’re forced to sit through a bunch of wedding-movie clichés involving a bunch of peripheral characters we don’t care about. What a downer. The movie never fully recovers from this awkward detour. It starts to get clunky and predicable until it finally just fizzles out. Clooney’s final scenes redeem it a little, but it still leaves a bad taste, especially knowing how good the first two-thirds were. Despite the bad plot detours, though, it’s a must see for Clooney and Kendrick, and the way they navigate the sad world of layoffs rampant in this shitty financial era.

Ninja Assassin

Just about everything you could ever want in a movie called “Ninja Assassin.” There were, unfortunately, some back-story scenes in which ninjas weren’t assassinating or being assassinated, which was too bad. You really just want them to get on with the assassinations. And many times the ninjas were assassinating in scenes that were too dark. But they ARE ninjas, and they do live in the shadows, so you can’t really blame them for assassinating in the dark. A larger variety of assassinations would have been nice, too. And maybe ONE assassination in the daylight, just to see it. But, in general, all ninja assassinating requirements were fulfilled.

Precious

It’s like having someone kick you in the balls five times and then apologize. Unabashedly melodramatic with all the subtlety of a high-speed bus crash. Heart strings are pulled, tears are jerked, and at times it seems conspicuously premeditated. But through it all, there are excellent, heart-felt performances, especially from the lead Gabourey Sidibe. She’s a shoe-in for nominations. Otherwise, it’s a mixed bag. The entire ensemble is GREAT, but the director distracts from important dramatic moments with misplaced levity and clumsy foreshadowing. But see it to admire the performances.

2012

So, so silly. Plays more like a comedy than anything else. And a retrospective of all disaster movies up to this point. Earthquakes, fires, volcanoes, floods, tidal waves, sinking ships, and, of course, bureaucrats who won’t listen until the big speech in the middle of the final third. The science is terrible and never explains why it’s all happening in 2012. But then there’s John Cusack. “Lane.” “Lloyd.” “Hoops.” Saving the day. Making the best of a bad situation. Acting his heart out. Thank the Mayan Gods for John Cusack.

Pirate Radio

I disliked this. It’s an attempt at a rock and roll fairy tale, but there’s not a sincere moment in the whole movie. It’s based on a worthy true story, and THAT movie would have been worth seeing. But this movie, with cartoonishly “lovable” British rogues, cutaways of lovable British people dancing, and preposterous “I’m Sparticus” platitudes about keeping rock roll alive, is not worth seeing.

The Fantastic Mr. Fox

The entire look of the movie – the design, the animation, the color scheme – screams “Wes Anderson”, and that’s a good thing. George Clooney makes an inspired addition to the Anderson ensemble, and his charismatic Mr. Fox carries the entire movie, boldly leading you through scenes populated by soft-spoken, low-key burrowing animals. Too low-key, unfortunately, and that’s a problem. The stakes feel very low here and the filmmakers fail to make a genuine lasting impression. So it’s nice to look at, and more or less enjoyable, but there’s only so much laid-back, blasé dialogue you can take before you need a cup of coffee.

Antichrist

** MAJOR SPOILER ALERT!!

75% of this is a meandering meditation on grief -- cerebral, reflective and hardly offensive. Little by little though, the wife (Charlotte Gainsbourg) starts to lose her marbles, and late in the movie, nails her husband (Willem DaFoe) in the balls with a piece of firewood. That’s just the start of the fucked-up part of the movie, which culminates in the wife cutting off her own clitoris with a pair of dull scissors. All on camera, of course, but it’s done tastefully. I’ve always admired filmmaker Lars von Trier for his unique, uncompromising voice. And I didn’t hate this, but I can’t really recommend it either. It’s hard to tell what’s really going on or what it all means. It is, purely, a look into one filmmaker’s distraught soul where chaos reigns, apparently. This is according to a talking fox making a cameo during the fucked-up part. The point is, any attempts at interpretation will yield only puzzled conjecture.

So ring-up that lucky gal or guy, grab the flowers and the box of candy, and get ready for the BEST DATE MOVIE EVER!

Gentlemen Broncos

I loved Napoleon Dynamite and I liked Nacho Libre. The same family of nutty filmmakers have visited the planet again to bring us another bizarre addition to their lexicon. This is one VERY strange movie. At times it's quite intentionally bad. But I’ll admit: I laughed. And the cast, with every odd visage, nervous tick, bad haircut, and homely sweater, was fully committed to the required kookiness. And the story was… um… original? And I sympathized with the hero. And I wanted him to succeed. So I feel satisfied. I went in with no expectations and got a crazy ode to middle America, low-fi sci-fi, power ballads, and a goofy looking kid with a dream. So I guess I can’t complain.

After.Life

I hated this! It’s a grim, morbid, depressing waste of time with no artistically redeeming value at all. It boggles the mind how this got made! And with Liam Neeson and Christina Ricci! The hint of an original premise and the great cast made me want to see it at AFI Fest. I wish I hadn’t. I’m positively flummoxed by how the pretentious European filmmakers GOT financing for this! How did they cast Ricci, Neeson, and Justin Long? Who will distribute this? It’s a practical joke on the audience. Bits of the premise had potential. The cast is game. But YEECH! I needed a shower! One silver lining: Ricci is nude through a large portion of the movie and she’s alluring as always. It’s too bad it’s a freaky, masturbatory necrophilia fantasy for the filmmakers.

The Box

It’s difficult to discuss anything by Richard Kelly. The Box is both fascinating and baffling. The creepy, “Twilight Zone” opening is great, well-acted, beautifully shot, and suspenseful. But this frustrating movie eventually wanders off into la-la land where there are perhaps Martians or angels and devils pulling the plot strings. Kelly and company deserve high praise for taking their filmmaking uber-seriously, both technically and thematically. The regard for film as an art-form couldn’t be higher. But it would be nice if they EXPLAINED some shit before it ends. As enjoyable as it is to watch, it’s hard to know what to take away from this movie on the drive home. Except for the obvious, which is: if a creepy guy who looks like Frank Langella with half a face shows up at your house with a box containing a magic button, and he tells you if you push the button, someone will die... DON’T PUSH THE BUTTON!

A Single Man

Definitely a movie written and directed by a fashion designer (Tom Ford), A Single Man features perfect haircuts, immaculately tailored suits, freakishly beautiful people (even the extras!) and expert use of light, color and lenses. What it lacks in plot and story is made up for by a strong, heartfelt performance from Colin Firth as a widower shattered by the death of his beloved. Granted, it meanders a bit, but that just allows more time to admire the meticulous array of period details, leading us through a beautifully designed but sad world where a heartbroken man wanders alone.

Easier With Practice

Interesting performance from Hurt Locker’s Brian Geraghty, but otherwise this was a downer.

Youth in Revolt

I haven’t laughed this hard since, well, Black Dynamite. Man, this was funny! It’s not so much the script. It’s the precisely-timed gags and the spot-on performance of Michael Cera. Filmmakers dare to dust-off over-used lines and bits, stale to the point of cliché. But gags that would have surely fallen flat in less assured hands (i.e. the hero disguising himself as a woman, doing drugs the first time) land perfectly here with priceless results. The entire cast is hilarious. And the nerd gets the girl, which to me makes this a joyous triumph. I can’t praise it enough.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

At the risk of pandering, this doesn’t perk up until the arrival of Heath Ledger’s character, and subsequently the ensemble of stars who all play the same mysterious guy. It’s an outlandish lark, favoring Terry Gilliam’s signature animation lunacy over pesky things like a coherent plot. The visuals -- the animation and imagination on display here are awesome. The rest of the cast of odd-balls is perfect for Gilliam’s distorted world, including a rascally turn by Tom Waits as the Devil. It’s likable enough and amazing to see even if you do wonder, as I did, what the hell it was all about.

Women in Trouble

What if the actors in the Vagina Monologues were all sitting around in their undies? That’s Women in Trouble - a talky female bonding ensemble featuring a lot of porn stars and hookers in skimpy lingerie. I’m fine with that, especially if it’s Marley Shelton, Carla Gugino, or the slew of other beautiful women featured here. But all the talking I can do without.

Zombieland

After my second time, I still like it. In a lot of ways it’s a perfect movie because it accomplishes EXACTLY what it sets out to do. Try not to dissect the plot though. It doesn’t really work in a logical way. It’s really still about that nerd trying to get a date.

Where the Wild Things Are

This is not for kids, but it’s a wise examination of the emotional state of a kid. Some of the symbolic “wild things” reflect Max’s emotional state more clearly than others. It’s fascinating to hear Carol (voiced by James Gandolfini), Barney the dinosaur’s rough-and-tumble step-cousin with the voice of a New Jersey teamster, complain like child when he’s hurt, both physically and emotionally. In the “where” of Where the Wild Things Are, Max validates his own feelings, but also learns to empathize with his mother or sister when they come face-to-face with the hairy beast that is his developing emotional world. There are plenty of movies in which an adult learns how to understand their kid, but it’s rare to find a movie depicting a kid learning how to understand adults. The filmmaking and performances are first-rate and the expressive faces of the “things” are awesome, but it’s the ambitious goal of bringing a kid’s ungainly emotional world to life that makes this so unique.

Toy Story 2

Better, funnier, richer and deeper than its amazing predecessor.

Toy Story

It’s a treat to see this again in a theater. The 3-D adds a lot to what was already a pioneering movie. But despite the technical feat on display, it was always the story that made this so special.

Paranormal Activity

Some clever filmmaker thought, “Fuck the woods! Let's just remake The Blair Witch Project in a house!” And so this derivative, tedious, nerve-racking mind-fuck was born. Yes, some of it is suspenseful. But it’s all tension and no release. And it’s WAY too long. It could have been a 20-minute short film! It’s an admirable gimmick -- making video work for an ultra, ultra low budget. But it’s hard to sympathize with the dumbbell couple and the story is almost nil. And just like The Blair Witch Project, by the time something finally happens, you’ll be thinking to yourself, “I wish somebody would just DIE already so we can get this over with!”

Zombieland

…isn’t really about zombies! It’s really about a nerd (Jesse Eisenberg) trying to get a date. So thematically, it’s pretty light. Not a lot of heavy-duty zombie symbolism, “man’s inhumanity to man”, apart from “it’s rough out there when you’re trying to get a date.” (They're calling it a "zom-com".) The cast is funny, the pace is perfect, and the filmmakers have a lot of fun in post-production -- superimposing titles and little “nuggets” of advice – letting the audience in on a secret gag. There’s also a great, stylish exploitation of slow-motion. Lots of blood, goo and debris cascading through the air; suspended as though there’s no gravity. Eisenberg is less annoying than usual and the lack of a strong plot didn’t bother me. Because the nerd gets the girl. And to me that makes it the most inspirational movie in the world.

The Invention of Lying

The lying begins with the ad campaign. What this movie is REALLY about is the bible, and how it’s all a bunch of lies. You can’t really say that in the ads though. It won’t play in Peoria. Ultimately, Ricky Gervais and company’s subversive comedy gives-in to niceness and sentiment, and issues the proviso that sometimes lies, including things like the Bible, make people feel better and that’s not such a bad thing. It’s a passable comedy. It could be funnier, but it could be worse, too, and that’s excluding those religious viewers who might just be horribly offended.

Also, two movies asking questions about God in one weekend. (Re: A Serious Man) Is that a pattern? Is that meaningful in some way?

A Serious Man

Existentialism is a favorite milieu of the Coens. It’s a great backdrop for comedy and those big questions about God, faith, and why we’re all here. The stuff Barton Fink thought about, the things The Dude tries to avoid thinking about, and the questions J.K. Simmons asks himself in Burn After Reading, “Why did this happen. What did we learn?” “Is Judy Davis’ head in this box?” all point to the big question: Is there a God? Is God good?

Perhaps the character most haunted by this unanswered question was Tommy Lee Jones in No Country for Old Men. Until Now. Tommy Lee Jones doesn’t have shit on Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbarg), the trampled on, emasculated, soul-searching and pure-hearted mensch trying to be A Serious Man. When he begins to lose the things in the world that he thinks are important, and his life begins to crumble, he turns to the community Rabbis looking for reasons and answers. Is there a God? Is God punishing him? The Coens seem to have some mixed feelings about these Jewish leaders, but still seem to hold the idea of faith in the highest regard. God for his part does send a signal to Gopnik, if you want to see it that way, in the jarring finale. Unlike No Country for Old Men, the Coens' regard for faith does manifest a shred of hope in the meaning of life, hidden in the most unlikely of places.

This movie knocked me out and I can’t stop thinking about it. Brush up on your Jefferson Airplane and see it.

The Room

Yes, I saw The Room again. Memo to the drunken idiots who yell things at the screen: you’re not allowed to yell something unless it’s clever or funny. Just yelling “whore” isn’t acceptable. Who knew that seeing a terrible movie and having the audience yelling things at the screen as entertainment could go wrong?

Surrogates

I have nothing profound to say about this movie. Bruce Willis is formidable as always, and the production is top-notch, but it lacked sexiness. The kind of kinkiness and craziness, in fact, that Gamer had way, way too much of. If you could somehow magically combine the best aspects of both movies, you might have something. Otherwise, this is a “C.”

Jennifer's Body

HAS THE WORLD GONE COMPLETELY CRAZY?? What kind of world is it where a rated-R horror movie can be hampered by crippling prudishness and the true terror; the true fear of the boogeyman is foolishly on display at “tea party” rallies and town hall meetings?

Jennifer’s Body screenwriter Brook Busey (aka “Diablo Cody”) has jerry-rigged a tame, irrelevant and indefinable mess. “Edginess” or “coolness” does not come from injecting some hipster teen-speak into a conventional, inert story. The ideas must be edgy as well. It’s embarrassing how non-violent and unsexy Jennifer’s Body actually is. Yes, there is such a thing as gratuitous nudity. But there is also gratuitous non-nudity. If there is a woman in a rated-R horror movie whose m.o. is to seduce innocent boys and eat them, filmmakers should not hesitate to show this seductress in the nude. To see Megan Fox in her most formidable and dangerous state can only help transport the audience to the mindset of the victims. It is no time to be puritanical! It’s a movie! Show us the monster! Instead, after the killer washes off her victim’s blood in a lake swim, filmmakers cut to her FEET as she climbs out of the water!

Numerous frustrating examples of this cheap tactic -- cutting away before the money shot -- litter the film. It’s a shame! It could have been an interesting satire. Performances are all above par. The cast tries their best with this hampered material. One wonders what they would have done with a truly daring, psychosexual script. FOR SHAME!

The Informant!

Matt Damon disappears into this pathological nerd who is greedy for attention and recognition at all costs. Soderbergh uses basic, tried-and-true devices to turn an espionage thriller into a comedy: Zany music, over-the-top characters, and hilariously random inner-monologue narration. Although this movie succeeds on every level it aspires to, the light tone will prevent it from making a big splash. It’s as if Soderbergh et al set-out to prove the frivolity of greed by spinning a dispensable yarn making light of such a humorless subject.

Capitalism: A Love Story

Michael Moore is a filmmaker who clearly loves his country. But he found some things about the U.S. that he’d like to change, so he makes movies about them. What he doesn’t do is offer any kind of suggestion about how to make the necessary repairs, though he seems determined to change the world in a positive way. His emotional stories of corporations and banks screwing people over are gripping and infuriating, and they really succeed in lighting a fire under my ass. But to do what exactly?

Whiteout

A perfect example of a movie made by a studio committee. If they are cooked-up dispassionately, all the necessary ingredients do not always make a good movie. You could feel the meddling story executives in every predictable plot point, every overly-expository line of dialogue, and every shower scene. And it felt like it was developed in the early 90’s, when the big twist; the big novelty of a movie could be that the main character was a woman. “It’s about a cop, but she’s a WOMAN, believe it or not!” The outmoded premise is the least of Whiteout’s problems.

9

It seems like in every animated movie I’ve seen lately the emphasis has been on the beautiful animation and not the script. That is unfortunately the case with Nine, too. The design of the world and the characters is positively gorgeous, but I was never 100% sure what was going on. You could argue that it’s meant to be abstract. But it was frustrating for me feeling left-out of some “deep” symbolism or something that I just didn’t get. Well, even for a shallow guy like me, it’s still beautiful to watch.

Gamer

An affront to the senses. A terrible script that was poorly directed and horribly edited. Too bad. Some of the ideas, though lifted straight from Philip K. Dick, were kind of cool. You feel bad for the talented but wasted cast. Gerard Butler, Amber Valletta and Michael C. Hall deserve better.

Extract

A pleasant comedy, featuring a laid-back, mild-mannered cast of goofballs and idiots. A lot of the comedy is “extracted” from people NOT listening to one another. Jason Bateman’s neighbor, his friends, his employees, and even his dumb pool cleaner never listen and they all seem to be having their own conversations. The terrific Kristen Wiig has a hilarious exchange with the pool boy –- but it’s so acute, it’s almost frustrating. So there are a lot of chuckles during the movie, but not the kind of all-out laughter I can get when there are not one but TWO idiots in a scene, and they’re listening to each other intently. (See It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia or Burn After Reading.) Likeable and worth seeing, but not an imperative.

The Room

Some critics say 2003's The Room is the worst movie ever made. It was reportedly $6 million to produce and self-distributed by the star, producer, director. It’s become a cult event now, taking over a 5-theatre multiplex with midnight revelers who scream jokes, make fun of the characters, laugh at the genuinely bad lines and throw things at the screen. As an experience, it was a lot of fun, and I admittedly wasn’t in the mood for an ironically bad movie. Nevertheless, I laughed wholeheartedly at the snappy audience quips and the truly awful drama. I’m not sure if I’d see it again. Once may be enough. But it’s worth it for the laughs and the shared experience.

World's Greatest Dad

A great, funny and courageous comedy written and directed by Bob Goldthwait that dares to dive into a bottomless pit of unexplored taboos. Robin Williams expertly embodies a confused dad, frustrated by his career and fed-up with his perverted son. The son, played by Daryl Sabara from Spy Kids, goes toe-to-toe with Williams, skillfully trading barbs while being both funny and creepy. The plot takes several hilariously dark turns and features some great comic performances in the supporting cast. But above all it’s the script, daring to find great cynicism in a tragic death, and scrutinizing the characters who can exploit that death for their own purposes. It also explores a theme I’m noticing a lot in movies and TV lately: groupthink, and the willingness to believe a massive lie because it’s the less painful option. (see Lars and the Real Girl, The Mist) Kudos to Goldthwait and company!

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard

Forgettable Used Cars derivative with an underused cast and only a smattering of funny bits. John Landis’ 2004 doc Slasher is a much better bet.

Inglourious Basterds

Yes, it runs long. At times it drags. But every prolonged scene is a lit fuse ready to explode. The pay-off is always satisfying. Likewise, Tarantino and company cast fantastically. Each face is uniquely mesmerizing. Every German looks really German. The eyes of Mélanie Laurent, huge and sad, beautifully reflect her own personal nightmares of the war. And the villain! The perfectly evil, cunning, and deceptively eccentric Nazi colonel played by Christoph Waltz, is also a ticking bomb, the results of which are entirely unexpected. Brad Pitt is barely part of the allure here. It’s the rest of the well-cast ensemble that makes this so watch-able. And it’s the deeply satisfying, visceral resolutions to the ridiculous problems set forth in Tarantino’s overstuffed script that make this so deliciously vindictive.

And now a word about revisionist history. If our politicians can lie so regularly and openly about hidden weapons, U.S Attorney firings, and torturing detainees, and if people can pull “death panels” out of their asses during a health care debate, why not rewrite history? There’s no doubt in my mind someone, some day, will believe this is a true story. For some people, it’s easier to believe the lie.

Also, SO much better than Death Proof.

District 9

The essential part of any “Martians invade Earth” movie is the human reaction. And it’s almost always an allegory of how we treat ourselves. In the case of District 9, the burden falls on actor Sharlto Copley who embodies a bureaucratic, camera-aware dweeb thrust into the public eye by chance, the portrayal of whom is an absolute revelation. This is archetypal everyman undergoes such a profound change of philosophy – he doesn’t deserve an Oscar, he deserves a Nobel Prize. It’s not that District 9 is totally original -- we’ve seen many of the plot points before. But the tone, the casting, and the portrayal of the reluctant hero are so fresh and so original, it’s impossible not to feel like you’ve seen something completely new. The treatment of the aliens, as the thinly veiled allegory goes, is disgracefully moving. Along with Hurt Locker this is one of the best movies of the year, so far.

Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus

I couldn’t resist the rare opportunity to see a z-grade, made-for-cable monster movie starring Lorenzo Lamas on the big screen. And it was as bad as it sounds. It was laughable how much stock footage they used, and how many times, over and over again, they used the exact same shots! Still, there’s something admirable here. They know what they’re making, they know how bad it is, they do it with conviction and they have a market. But I can’t really recommend this under any circumstances — unless you’re dying to see a giant shark jump out of the ocean to catch and eat a commercial airliner!

Thirst

A romantic but twisted revision of the vampire legend, wherein a priest is infected through a blood-transfusion and is overcome with lust. Very involved, sweeping, and quite likely expensive, it’s a feast for the eyes. “Crouching Tiger” style leaps and chases arise through busy streets, while blood and light carefully paint every frame. Performances from the lovers are fantastic, especially Kim Ok-Vin who undergoes many radical transformations, the least of which have to do with vampirism itself. But it varies wildly in tone, the romance begets lust begets violence begets surrealism begets comedy, and suddenly you’re so far from the reality the movie establishes at the beginning it’s downright unsettling. It’s long and strange, but it’s something different, if you’ve had your fill of G.I. Joe and Harry Potter.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Not as bad as everyone is saying. Certainly not as bad as Transformers. 99% of the cast knows what kind of movie it is and they all ham it up fittingly. Only one poor hold-out thinks it’s Black Hawk Down. Unfortunately, it’s the main guy: Channing Tatum. Somebody forgot to tell him he was starring in a movie based on a cartoon and a line of toys. He’s about as inappropriately serious as Sean Penn at an awards show. Funny to say, but he could take a few acting lessons from Joseph Gordon-Levitt or Sienna Miller, who might say,"Lighten up! Have fun with it."

A Perfect Getaway

A great airplane movie. Sure, you might not want to spend the evening and the big bucks, but you’d be psyched if this was the in-flight show. It’s perfect escapism, a perfect waste of time. Plot twists and action twists are expected but fun, and kudos to Timothy Olyphant and Steve Zahn for tinkering playfully with their “types.”