screen |skr_n| |skrin| |skri_n| noun • a blank, typically white or silver surface on which a photographic image is projected : the world's largest movie screen • movies or television; the motion-picture industry : she's a star of the stage as well as the screen. verb [ trans. ] • protect (someone) from something dangerous or unpleasant • evaluate or analyze (something) for its suitability for a particular purpose or application


Saturday, August 10, 2013

We're the Millers

I liked this. It’s a subversive comedy asking, “What is a family?” The filmmakers feel comfortable declaring: it’s any group of misfits who can stick together. Jason Sudeikis has had plenty of time to rehearse this character on SNL. First he’s a bachelor drug dealer, then he’s a guy pretending to be the squarest dad in the world. So there’s always a little sass in his voice as he tries to play it straight. People pick on Jennifer Aniston for being one-note, but she always manages to go toe-to-toe with the biggest smart-alecks in the business and she ends up holding her own. With cannabis starting to become legal and accepted, bits of this script feel like they were ripped from a bygone era; a Cheech and Chong movie. But the funny and likeable cast works the timeless theme of “a family can be anything” to their advantage.

Friday, August 09, 2013

Elysium

This is about a lot of big ideas. Politically, it’s everything but the kitchen sink: Health care, discrimination, immigration, class warfare. It’s important that filmmakers are thinking about these subjects and using sci-fi to tell their story. Some of the best political statements in the history of movies and literature have been told in a sci-fi realm. The problem is, big ideas don’t leave a lot of room for character development. Characters tend to be allegories. That’s Matt Damon’s everyman, “Max” -- similarities to Mad Max are purely intentional. He’s a trope; an archetype. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just that: they had Matt Damon. They could have used him a little better. Same story with Jodie Foster. If she signs up to be the villain, make her play the villain. Notwithstanding, there’s a lot of entertainment value here, even if there aren’t a lot of surprises. And we need guys like Neill Blomkamp thinking of the big ideas about how to change the world, and then beating us over the head with them. 

Thursday, August 01, 2013

This is the End

Yep. I saw it again. It's not as surprising the second time (obviously), but it's still really funny.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

The Conjuring

Beware of the clichés! They're everywhere! It’s the family moving into the new/old house with the spooky basement and the spooky toys and the children are in peril and they can’t move and it turns out to be something about witches and blah, blah, blah. I was not impressed. Also, regarding the whole plot point about witches being evil and referencing the witch trials, let’s not forget: the witch trials were an atrocity. They are an embarrassment to American history, and the expression “witch hunt” is used as an example of condemning people without any evidence. So, trying to lend credibility to that? Claiming there were real “witches” in the witch trials? I ain’t got time for that.

Friday, July 26, 2013

The Wolverine

** SPOILERS **

A refreshing change of style for a “superhero” movie. In fact, this is much more like a martial arts movie than an “X-Men” movie. The filmmakers establish mood and tone expertly. The compositions and shots are gorgeous and fluid, and they lack the cuttiness of most of the summer’s action/Man of Steel fare. Hugh Jackman is badass as Wolverine, as always, and there are ample amounts of ass-kicking on display. Nice, too, to see Jean Grey hanging on to her power over him, as super-heroines are prone to do to superheroes. While not a planet-saving journey for Wolverine, it’s a well-made chapter of the legend.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Blue Jasmine

Cate Blanchette nails it. Unraveling and well-dressed, her character uses high fashion and appearance to mask her nervous breakdown. She and the entire supporting cast are great. But the movie ends IN THE WRONG PLACE! It ends only with destruction and no resolution. I’m not saying I require a “happy” ending, but I do require an ending. This movie does NOT have one which makes the whole experience annoying and depressing.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Big Trouble in Little China

Nice to see this on the big screen. My memory of this movie is fuzzy, and I am not sure if I ever saw the whole thing. It's such a weird and funny mix of Asian mysticism, kung fu, and 1980s style macho action. The smart-alecky silliness is the best part about it. The score by John Carpenter is by far the worst part about it. If Spielberg, Lucas and Ridley Scott can all re-cut their movies, maybe somebody can convince Carpenter to re-do the score?

Saturday, July 20, 2013

20 Feet From Stardom

A fantastic, fascinating, and emotional documentary about backup singers. But not just any backup singers. Black backup singers and their very important place in rock 'n roll. I recommend this movie to everybody. You won't be disappointed.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Pacific Rim

The joke I made when I left the theater was this felt like what the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers might be like if they had a lot of money. While it's true that it's harmlessly stupid, it's still a loving and worthwhile tribute to the beloved genre: giant monsters attacking cities. There is a fancy Japanese word for it, but I'm not so pretentious as to try and use it in a sentence.

Saturday, July 06, 2013

The Way Way Back

14-year-old Duncan never has the drive or the ambition of a typical movie protagonist. More often than not he wants to get away from things. It makes movie this delightfully unusual. The existing world of adults is awful, and it’s not until he meets Owen (show stealing by Sam Rockwell) that he begins his “coming of age.” In this case, that means having a father figure/big brother figure who brings him out of his shell and encourages him to communicate. Someone positive. The cast is consummate, the script is the right amounts of unique and familiar, and the resolution is worthwhile. Really, really good movie.

Friday, July 05, 2013

Man Of Steel

** SPOILERS **

Second viewing. I gave it another chance, in 2D, and my opinion of this movie did not improve. It could have started a half an hour later. The plot, the business of recovering the DNA of all Kryptonians imbedded in Clark’s body, is foggy and uncompelling. Besides, who cares? Except for Clark, all Kryptonians seem like a bunch of dicks anyway. Why should we care so much about saving them? The action is way too cutty and CG-ish. Seeing this movie a second time made me appreciate The Lone Ranger more. Apologies to Zach Snyder. (You’re still a talented mensch, Zach! Let’s do lunch!)

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

The Lone Ranger

** HI-HO SPOILER ALERT! **

Gore Verbinski has a taste for the surreal. Going all the way back to Mousehunt and The Mexican, he takes traditional stories, characters, and situations and throws in a big shot of heatstroke-induced quirkiness. The Lone Ranger fits right into Verbinksi’s milieu. Although casual fans of the Ranger might be put-off by this sobering reality: this is actually the Tonto story, and it’s not a straight telling.

There’s a satirical edge to Tonto, slyly needling the white man’s stereotype of “The Noble Savage.” Depp’s Tonto is just a weird medicine man at first. But when the movie dips into his back-story, we learn why his own tribe cast him away. He has a quest, and he just might be insane with revenge. As his behavior becomes more erratic and he starts talking to the horses, you start to wonder if maybe Tonto is that Indian following Jim Morrison around in Oliver Stone’s Doors movie -- high on peyote.

The ranger, John Reid, is the sidekick here, and he and Tonto bounce back and forth between bickering like characters in a Woody Allen movie to saving each other’s asses from the movie’s formidable railroad tycoon villains. But after all the back-story, lingering desert weirdness, and scene-stealing by the various horses, the action is glorious. From the thrilling days of yesteryear and a mighty high-ho silver Verbinski and company orchestrate one of the most fun, most exhilarating movie climaxes in many a moon. Long takes and wide shots make the incredible action easy to follow (unlike Man of Steel), and it doesn’t hurt that Rossini’s on the soundtrack. I embrace Verbinski for all the hi-jinks and all the weirdness. I loved the “Pirates” movies and I loved Rango. There’s so much imagination on display here, it’s a shame more people aren’t seeing it.

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Monsters U

Monsters Inc was so mind-blowingly creative. The world, the characters, and the story. Every frame is sublime. And it was about energy – alternative energy. Harnessing laughter. Deep stuff. Monsters U gives us the same world and same characters, with a standard, college clichés, Revenge of the Nerds plot. It’s not about anything we haven’t seen before. The animation is good, but a little too cutesy and cuddly. The story isn’t meant to appeal to a demo over 8 years old, and some of it doesn’t track with the other movie. I understand why Pixar/Disney would need to slide their target age down a ways. I, Doug Howell, middle-aged man, am not buying the toys or riding the rides. But it’s a shame this movie is so thematically inferior to its predecessor.

Friday, June 28, 2013

The Heat

Lots and lots of female laughter in the crowded audience. It’s not the clichéd story, it’s not the plot, and it’s not the writing that makes it funny. It’s all about the delivery. The two leads, Bullock and McCarthy, fine-tune their timing so that even non-jokes can get a laugh. On paper or in the wrong hands this could have been a disaster. Instead, it’s amusing, light-hearted, and predictable without being irritating.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

The Purge

A commendable low-budget thriller, using limited locations wisely. Throughout the movie, the ridiculous premise remains a sticking point. Plot holes are rampant, which cause the audience to wonder why the villains are even bothering with their killing spree. At least the townspeople in Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery” had their reasons, however stupid and crazy they were. But it’s not supposed to be taken literally. The whole movie is meant to be a rich vs. poor, 1% parable, which sort of works some of the time, but they could have pushed their symbols much harder.

Friday, June 21, 2013

World War Z

It’s a very good movie, although some of the zombie lore feels familiar. It’s less of a “Romero” zombie movie and more like Contagion meets Resident Evil. So, story-wise it’s not super fresh but it’s very well-made and the undead threat is treated with utmost cinematic seriousness. No cheese. Surprises don’t come from story or plot but from characters and their choices. Brad Pitt is believable as the intrepid dad/scientist. Decisions to reshoot the final third of the movie seem to have worked out because it’s tense, it’s heroic, and noticeably contained. It’s a fun, adrenalin-charged night at the movies. But one final question I ask after all the zombie scenarios: where the fuck is all of the protective clothing??

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

This is the End

Knowing these actors, having seen them in enough movies and TV shows, and knowing that they’re goofing on their own personas makes this hilarious. It’s not the first time someone has played a wacky version of themselves. Lucy and Desi sort of did it. And who can forget Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in Airplane? But when you take these narcissistic potheads and throw them into a post-apocalyptic Lord of the Flies scenario, it just gets funnier and funnier. It reminds me of what Douglas Coupland’s "Girlfriend in a Coma" could have been. A gen-x-er (or in this case, generation text-er) realizes that if there is a God and a heaven then there’s a back-log of good deeds that need to be checked-off before the rapture. Highly recommended.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Man of Steel

** SUPER-SPOILERS!! **

Damn. Damn. Damn. As soon as we see Jor-El flying around on a giant dragonfly, I sensed something was amiss. We all know what happened on Krypton. Why show it again? And why change it to the point where it’s unrecognizable and ridiculous? Many bad decisions were made in Man of Steel regarding the legacy of Superman. The Smallville/Lois Lane/Daily Planet timeline has been completely fucked with for no good reason. Why couldn’t they show us something NEW we hadn’t seen, instead of rejiggering the old tropes?

What I found more offensive was the pace. It felt like the filmmakers made a five hour movie and the powers that be made them cut it down to two. Every scene felt like it was cut in half, which destroyed any possibility of cadence. One of the reasons Watchmen worked was because it HAD to be bloated. Not following the story of the original graphic novel would have been blasphemy. Therefore, the exciting moments kicked ass and the slow moments were pleasantly weird. But the original Man of Steel trailer promised a different tone: what if Terrence Malick did Superman? Someone, the studio, Chris Nolan, or a devil on Zach Snyder’s shoulder saw fit to cut out all the breathing room. Man of Steel feels like a highlight reel to a much bigger and better movie.

There are some positives. Henry Cavill is the perfect choice for Clark Kent/Jesus. Michael Shannon nailed his Zod, although he never gets to say, “Kneel before Zod!” And there are some nice moments with Amy Adams and Diane Lane. But overall, with great regret I have to say: this did nothing for me. There is nothing even the slightest bit exhilarating about it. I actually liked Superman Returns better, but not by much. This makes Smallville a masterwork, where the legend was treated with reverence and it was assumed that the audience knew the basics.

Saturday, June 08, 2013

Fast and Furious 6

Math problem: If the minimum take-off speed for a cargo plane is 150 mph, and that cargo plane is being chased by an elite team of drag-racers for ten minutes, then how long does the runway need to be? Answer: “You don't turn your back on family…” Logic and physics never really played a role in the Fast and Furious movies. It’s James Bond for the subwoofer crowd, but bigger, louder, and more badass. Go 'Merica! Vin Diesel, who has all the charisma of a flying brick, grunts one line after another of bumper-sticker philosophy at a level of nonchalance even Stallone would admire. The rest of the cast bounces from brooding to smart aleckey. The script is more concerned about being macho than it is about making sense, with a pace that’s forcefully speedy, so as to NOT allow the audience to stop and think for a nanosecond about how impossible everything is. It’s not going to make you a better person, but it’s good for a laugh.

Saturday, June 01, 2013

Now You See Me

It pretends to be a movie about the art of illusion. But in doing so, it misleads and is really a movie about deception and revenge. At some point it devolves into an action thriller and the mind games are pretty much over. Lately, the most compelling story about magicians is the hilarious love/hate rivalry between GOB Bluth and Tony Wonder in the new season of Arrested Development. As for Now You See Me, it’s okay as a thriller, but it’s too far fetched to work as a brain tease.

Friday, May 31, 2013

American Mary

It’s a Dexter/Boxing Helena/Girl With a Dragon Tattoo hybrid. A violent revenge fantasy with some fine technique, but some jumbled themes. What are they saying? Don’t rape vindictive surgeons? It is ostensibly a piece of feminism, but when the protagonist is performing her back-alley operations in a gothy, black bustier one wonders if the filmmakers didn’t lose their own point in all the bloody pomp and circumstance.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The Great Gatsby

During the awful first hour, I kept asking myself, “What the hell is this piece of shit?” I was angry. I felt ripped off. There was not a single authentic moment. I thought it was going to be a miserable two and a half hours. But then, one hour in, it changed. Without spoiling it, there was a precise moment when Baz Luhrmann and company dropped the pretense, and a lot like Gatsby himself, became the most genuine version of itself. Then it became interesting. It seems as if the filmmakers intended for the first hour of decadence, partying, and phoney-baloney to be obnoxious and superficial to juxtapose who Gatsby really WAS and what he was really feeling. Risky. But it paid off. And I was drawn in after being repelled. Performances all around are first-class. Special props to Joel Edgerton (young Owen Lars) who might get nominations. If you can trust the filmmakers and withstand the first hour, the rest of the movie is worthwhile.

Friday, May 24, 2013

An Oversimplification of her Beauty

It’s a two-hour long YouTube video. A mixed-media essay about one failed relationship told from the point of view of a very narcissistic filmmaker. The opening credits are so short, they act as a warning: “this movie is made for people with short attention spans.” Then it begins: an annoying two-hour montage of unrelated images and a smug, voice-of-god narration. The movie discriminates against anyone who isn’t stoned. There is some filmmaking technique here, but it’s squandered by the filmmakers need to appear God-like, while his subjects are belittled. I don’t regret seeing it; I just wish it was better.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Kings of Summer

Three 15-year-old kids decide to run away from home for the summer and live in a home-made shed in the woods. But be careful, because one of them, Biaggio (Moises Arias), is in danger of upstaging the other actors and stealing the whole movie. Overall this is well-done adolescent escapism. Performances are all strong and the pace of the fantasy is never boring. Filmmakers lose track of their theme for a sequence or two in the second half, but they quickly recover. It’s a case of first time director jitters – force-feeding the audience something they were already enjoying; a sweet and agile John Hughes homage. Kudos to all for mastering the basics and making conflict, escapism and entertainment a priority.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Star Trek Into Darkness

This is an action movie, plain and simple. The 1960’s social commentary is all but gone except for a few mentions of super-soldiers and an arms race. I was slightly disappointed by the end because the filmmakers recall too much of the old Star Trek legacy. It’s more of a rehash, rather than a reboot. (In fact, it might compel me to look back at some of the old episodes.) But it’s exciting! Scene by scene, minute by minute, it’s never anything but completely fun and engrossing. For future sequels, here’s hoping producers and filmmakers come up with a new, original story for the intrepid cast.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Mud

Everyone’s talking about Matthew McConaughey in this. How good he is. What a revelation it is. But McConaughey has always been a good actor. His problem is his project choices have, for the most part, been lazy. He did too many rom-coms in too short of a time-span and he cheapened his brand. It’s his own fault. And while it’s true he is really good in this, the real revelation is the two kids played by Tye Sheridan and Jacob Lofland. It’s THEIR movie and there’s almost never a false note from either of these guys. What helps, too, is the script is so perfectly structured, you could practically set your watch to it. This is the movie Beasts of the Southern Wild could have been. Recommended.

Friday, May 03, 2013

Iron Man 3

Pros: Bob Downey, lots of action, Don Cheadle, Gwyneth gets more to do, a bad dream with nifty Iron Man results. Cons: slow start, some rushed plot exposition, and, spoiler alert, sometimes Iron Man isn’t in the Iron Man suit. It's a fun night at the movies.

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

The Lords of Salem

** SPOILER TIME! **

Like a lot of movies, it all starts to go downhill after the dog disappears. Sheri Moon Zombie, aka Sheri Lyn Skurkis, wife of the director, Rob Zombie, aka Rob Cummings, builds a strong unique character in the first half of this spook-fest. She’s a single, working gal in love with her dog who notices some strange ghostly happenings in her old apartment building. The second half devolves into a typical horror movie, graphic flash-cut extravaganza when the main character, sans dog, finds out she’s the chosen one. Spoiler alert: It involves the devil, a baby, and spooky-sounding LP.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

In the Heat of the Night

This great Sidney Poitier thriller won best picture in 1967. At times it’s old fashioned, and at times it seems more risky and relevant than most contemporary movies. Rod Steiger nails his shape-shifting redneck police chief, never revealing where he truly stands on any issue. This movie must have been a cultural nuclear blast when it came out in the 60’s.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Oblivion

First you take a little dash of Moon, throw in a dollop of Total Recall, add a pinch of Demolition Man, a heaping spoonful of 2001: A Space Odyssey, splash in a little Robocop, a dab of Star Wars, and a hint of Independence Day and you have Oblivion. A familiar recipe, neither delicious nor unpleasant, and just a little overdone.

Friday, April 12, 2013

The Big Lebowski

This was a special screening at a new theater and I think they just popped in a blue ray. Alcohol was served, audience participation was encouraged, and it was less like a movie and more like a party. It’s still amazing to me - the movie’s plot doesn’t make a lick of sense!

Saturday, April 06, 2013

Trance

A departure from heady and emotional undertakings like 127 Hours, Slumdog Millioniare, and the London Olympics, Danny Boyle returns to his origins with this nifty little thriller. It’s Rosario Dawson’s movie, which unfolds non-linearly over the course of a few love affairs and an art heist. The familiar dramatic tropes of amnesia and hypnosis are the source of the disjointed timelines, but Boyle’s gift of style can easily overcome thriller clichés. The stakes are low, but it’s a fun, fast-paced and well-acted noir, and a great showcase for Dawson’s A-game.

Friday, April 05, 2013

Evil Dead

What happens when you cut all of the funny stuff out of a famous, old slasher movie? Answer: you still have a slasher movie, but it's a bit like nonfat cottage cheese. It's just not as satisfying. Especially since the filmmakers had Jane Levy as their lead, experienced sitcom ingénue. There are brief moments of pure, blood-splattered horror hilarity, but they don't arrive until the very end. And by then you might find yourself asking, "How many more characters are going to hack off their own arms before this thing is over?" Here's hoping that the remake of Evil Dead 2 manages to cut off a few arms without amputating their funny bones.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Chasing Beauty

This is a great documentary about fashion models and the ups and downs of trying to make it in the industry. The pace is quick and skillful as it volleys back and forth between the horror stories of experienced models and the trials and tribulations of up and comers. Fascinating interviews with seasoned models Hoyt Richards and Beverly Peele mine the creepy underbelly of their personal experiences. To tell how they earned a little cash on the side, or to tell how they spent their surplus millions would spoil the suspense. It’s better to hear it from the people themselves, as they use the documentary camera as a confessional. Filmmakers also follow a selection of young, hot billboard types as they try to stay thin, work out, and meet agents. And the only real criteria for them is whether or not they have “it”, whatever “it” is that models have. There’s no way to learn “it”, there’s no way to practice “it”, it’s just something models… HAVE. The mysterious force that leads to fame and fortune and shampoo endorsements. Chasing Beauty is a funny and satisfying journey, and makes you question exactly how glamorous the spotlight really is. Kudos to the filmmakers.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Stoker

Man, oh man, does this thing take a while to get going. It's not even clear what genre this movie is until about an hour into it. When that genre finally reveals itself, and it is a FUN and surprising revelation, the movie starts to become interesting. But it's over too quickly  after that and you’re left wondering why you sat there for the first hour. The performances from all the principles, Nicole Kidman and Mia Wasikowska, are all top-notch, but the pace is brutal. Is it me? Am I impatient? Have I been watching too much TV? Possibly. Or, possibly, the filmmakers here could take a lesson from Argo about pacing.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Spring Breakers

Spring Break! Spring Break forever, bitches! Bikinis! Titties! Guns! Cash! Money! Drugs! America! Swimming Pools! Aww Yeah! Sex! Cash! Pop music! America! The Beach! Bikinis! Titties! Pop Music! Brittany Spears! Beer! Sex! Shotguns! Bullets! Thump thump! Rich! Cologne! Pot! Cars! Go USA! Scooters! Fun! Bikinis! Ka-blam! Sex! Aww Yeah! USA Forever! Bikinis! Gold! Ka-POW! Spring Break! America! Beer! Chugging! Bang! Bikinis! Sex! Cash! Pop music! America! The Beach! Bikinis! Titties! Cologne! Pot! Cars! Go USA! Scooters! Titties! Guns! Cash! Spring Break forever, bitches!

Friday, March 15, 2013

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

I laughed a few times at this, but it's nothing starkly memorable. It's a straightforward bromance, structured like so many of the Will Ferrell/Vince Vaughn/Adam Sandler bromances. The premise of the competing magicians is great, but one wonders if all of the magic potential was mined here. Is fun to see Jim Carrey as an over-the-top, one-dimensional nemesis. Efforts to make him the likable everyman stifle his craziness, but here he gets to be his wacky, dickie best. However,  there's something missing from this and I'm not sure what. There is a gooey, schmaltzy center, a romantic side, that may cannibalize the zany potential.

Friday, March 08, 2013

Oz: The Great and Powerful

It's funny to think about who Sam Raimi was 30 years ago, and the radical arc of his directing career. He's obviously not afraid to tackle revivals with loyal fan bases, but resurrecting "Oz" falls into a special category of ballsiness. What matters most is casting. James Franco is perfect as the Wizard, not because he is such a wonderful actor, but because he yields and gives way to the witches, who are the true stars of the movie. Nevertheless, there's still something sleazy and slimy about him. His eyes half shut as he finagles his way into Oz, and then must examine himself and his own motives to save the innocents. To talk about the witches too much would be to give away plot points and spoil some fun surprises. Suffice to say, Raimi knows this is the best part of the story and this is where all his fun and flourish goes. It’s not a life-changing movie by any means, but it's a wonder to behold and a delight to watch.

Sunday, March 03, 2013

Side Effects

I watched this again because I like it so much. I especially liked noticing a couple of the times that the script "cheats." The plot holes are barely noticeable in this otherwise tight and surprising thriller.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

A Good Day to Die Hard

Disappointing. Rather than dropping John McClane accidentally into a dangerous situation, thus making him a fly in the ointment, the lousy script has him causing most of the dangerous situations. It’s the bombastic destruction of the “Die Hard” formula, the single thing that made everybody love Die Hard in the first place. It’s kinda meta, right? Kinda Charlie Kaufman? A character destroying the plot to their own movie that they are, at that moment,  starring in? Whoa dude… Anyway, too bad John McTiernan is in jail. They could have used him here.

Friday, February 08, 2013

Side Effects

I loved this. It’s hard to discuss without ruining it for everybody (as if “everybody” reads this blog). It starts out one way and then cleverly and unnoticeably becomes something else. Rooney Mara is great. It’s Jude Law's best work since Closer. It’s so smart! It’s a shame Steven Soderbergh claims he’s retiring. It’s one of his best movies in his already amazing career. A must see.

Saturday, February 02, 2013

Mama

5/6ths of this is really good. In the first half, Jessica Chastain skillfully develops her reluctant mother, gradually evolving from a tough-chick, punk bassist with no maternal ticking-clock whatsoever, into a smart and caring surrogate. When the spooky stuff starts to happen, it’s tense, well directed and the heroes never look stupid. Placing children in that much jeopardy can be a cheap way to earn sympathy. It’s worked so many times in the past. (Exorcist, Poltergeist, etc.) What audience can resist being terrified on behalf of a screaming child? In this case, efforts to put the kids in peril seem genuine and well-intentioned. My problems lie with the final moments, when the ghost has been “appeased” and still freaks out. What’s the point of appeasing a ghost if they’re just going to keep overreacting all the time!? All in all, it’s a fun, scary, and above average version of this kind of movie.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Movie 43

This is a worthy attempt at a John Landis, Kentucky Fried Movie, Amazon Women on the Moon, all-star anthology. Unfortunately, the results are mixed. There are some big, R-rated laughs, but also some stale gags, which aren’t painful, but just slow. As funny as the sketch was with Anna Feris and Chris Pratt, the best segment featured Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber home-schooling their teenage son, making sure he doesn’t miss out on the normal high school experiences. It was hysterical, perverse, and had a great punchline. Honestly, the big problem with this movie is the title. It makes no sense.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Zero Dark Thirty

Beyond all of the politics, current events, and torture button-pushing, Zero Dark Thirty is actually a very simple, functional story. A good guy is trying to catch a bad guy. Slay the monster. There are progressions and setbacks. The good guy is determined. The monster is elusive. And eventually, as the facts tell us, the monster is slayed. So it’s basically Jaws. Jessica Chastain is perfect in this. Unknowable and still engaging. Katheryn Bigelo is at the top of the game. She’s always been a strong director, mining great performances and keeping the pace brisk. The “controversial” torture scenes are almost unnecessary, and they certainly don’t “endorse” torture. But I also don’t think that the stupid, fake controversy is keeping the movie from winning all the awards. The truth is the main character is not very complex. Her single-mindedness makes the movie play more like an action movie and less like a transcendant drama. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s nothing nearly as deep as Jeremy Renner’s bomb disposal guy in The Hurt Locker. So as good as this movie is, it hits an emotional ceiling, one that probably mirrors the world’s feeling about the killing of Bin Laden. And the movie ends with that conflicting sentiment: Good job, but what’s next?

Monday, December 31, 2012

Doug's Favorite Movies of 2012

The Silver Linings Playbook
Cabin in the Woods
The Hobbit
Argo
John Dies at the End
The Queen of Versailles
The Avengers

Honorable Mention:
End of Watch
Bernie
Django Unchained
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
The Raid: Redemption
The Master
Seven Psychopaths
Cloud Atlas

Special Category -- Movies I hated that everyone else loved:
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Holy Motors

 

Friday, December 28, 2012

Jack Reacher

Felt like it was made in 1987 and directed by Richard Donner. There’s a great, old fashioned car chase (everything Drive should have been) and plenty of bone crunching fights from the Jason Statham playbook. It’s a serviceable low-budget thriller, and it’s fun to see Werner Herzog as a creepy and clichéd European villain, BUT… Tom Cruise and Rosamund Pike have about as much sexual chemistry as oil and dark matter.

Friday, December 14, 2012

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

I enjoyed the hell out of this. I saw it in RealD in the high-definition 48 frame projection and I thought it was gorgeous. Yes, it takes a little while to get going. For what will ultimately be nine hours of movie, I can see why it takes an hour or so to establish characters. Nevertheless, the dancing, zooming and swooping shots of the shire, of the mountains and of middle earth were amazing. The exteriors of Peter Jackson’s beloved New Zealand were beautifully rendered. It’s sincere, it’s exciting, and there are several action scenes that are as good as anything in any movie all year. It almost seems unfair that the ticket price is only three dollars more than other movies, because the value is worth so much more.

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Django Unchained

Lacks the gravitas of Inglorious Basterds, but it’s still a really fun night at the movies. Jamie Fox knows he’s not in an important drama about slavery. Nobody’s fooling anyone. Fox hams it up, embracing the revenge-porn genre-fusion as it truly is. The same is true for the rest of the cast, all of whom chew as much scenery as possible. Especially Christoph Waltz, nailing his weird, hitman wordsmith with unabashed glee. The final third drags on a bit, and I wonder if they could have ended the movie sooner. Nevertheless, it’s a barn-burner.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Hitchcock

This did nothing for me. It’s not bad. There’s nothing wrong with it. But there are no real stakes. Hitchcock is the master at the beginning and the master at the end. The script tries to inflate the notion that Hitchcock was worried his wife might be having an affair, but that doesn’t play out in any kind of dramatic or compelling way. So it’s a nice piece of history, but ironically there’s no suspense. The HBO movie about Tippi Hedron, The Girl, was much better.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Silent Night

A remake of the old, schlocky horror movie Silent Night, Deadly Night. The cast was decent but hammy. The script, at least, made sense. The problem is there’s no theme. Or no effort to showcase a theme. And when you have Santa going around murdering people, there should be some kind of point about commercialism or Christianity or something. But there’s no subtext. Just Santa murdering people. Not that there's really anything wrong with that, per se...

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Skyfall

Yep. Saw it again. Certain things that seemed stupid the first time I saw it made a little more sense this time. But pace is significantly slower the second time, too.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Life of Pi

Ya know that scene in Cast Away when Tom Hanks and Wilson set sail from the island on that little raft? Now imagine if that scene was two hours long. That’s The Life of Pi. Yes, it’s beautifully made. But I’m not sure I GOT it. Was the mom an orangutan? Is it all a metaphor for something? I’m also not sure that Pi was really the most interesting guy in the world to spend two hours with. Pi yelled at the tiger a lot, but both he and the tiger had less personality than Wilson. Aw, heck. I’m being nitpicky. It’s a beautifully filmed movie by Ang Lee and company. I just didn’t have the transcendent experience I was thinking I was supposed to have. I thought it was kind of slow.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Silver Linings Playbook

One of my favorite movies of the year. I’ve considered myself a fan of crazy David O. Russell for years, but I thought The Fighter was a bit overblown. There’s no good reason why this should have worked. It’s a weird mix of drama and comedy, sports and dancing, mental health and romance. It’s a hodgepodge and it could have gone horribly wrong. BUT IT DIDN’T. I’m not sure why! Everyone involved is walking a tightrope and at the end of it all, I felt SO FULFILLED. I felt so satisfied. I knew I had just seen a great movie. Again, I’m not sure why. But in the way that salmon sushi and cream cheese shouldn’t work in Philly rolls, but it does, the same holds true for the Silver Linings Playbook. There’s video proof that David O. Russell is an out-of-control, hot-tempered asshole. But hot damn, the guy can make a movie. Highly recommended.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Wreck It Ralph

This did nothing for me. Ralph's existential crisis gets sidetracked and the story shifts focus to another character and her problems. Voiceover work is strong, and the animation is sublime. But the script, which attempts to appeal to too many demos, is a mess.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Flight

This is not about airplanes and it’s not about flying. It’s about alcoholism. Denzel sinks his teeth in, embodying his toxic, barely functioning addict with consummate purpose. Supporting roles are strong too, including Kelly Reilly as a drunk whose moment of clarity comes before Denzel’s. The subject of alcohol will give us humans infinite volumes of art for eons to come. Nothing profoundly new is depicted about the complicated subject in Flight, but the honest portrayals are worth seeing.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Skyfall

The script is paper-thin. It’s less of a plot and more like just one, long sequence. One long, wildly implausible sequence. But man, they shot the hell out of this. Every frame is beautifully rendered. It’s GORGEOUS. But thin. Maybe the thin plot helps it translate better in all the different territories and cultures? Maybe that’s why it’s the highest grossing Bond movie ever? Maybe?

Friday, November 09, 2012

Lincoln

It’s a well-made history, akin to Amistad or Munich. The primary focus is not on Lincoln but instead on the 13th amendment and the mélange of characters who helped Lincoln and voted for it. All the talk has been about Daniel Day Lewis, but it’s the supporting parts that make this interesting: Tommy Lee Jones, James Spader, Lee Pace. It’s a movie about policy, which means that some of the big, climactic scenes involve men voting, which isn’t all that suspenseful since we know what happens. As good as it is, I didn’t feel like it was some transcendent, trail-blazingly original drama. It’s not that risky, and therefore, not that emotional. But it’s Spielberg’s best movie in years (Are we counting Tin-tin?)and a hearty and fulfilling enterprise.

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Antiviral

The son of David Cronenberg makes his debut with this goopy, icky essay on celebrity obsessions. Some of the sci-fi concepts and ideas about celebrity culture are really cool, but man, oh man this thing is SLOW. It would be a modern-day masterpiece if they would just pick up the pace!

Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Cloud Atlas

It’s an unusual movie because I enjoyed it, but I couldn’t tell you the story or the plot if I had a gun to my head. It’s a bit like Malick in that way, it’s a movie driven by theme. And even the theme is a little vague. Overcome your prejudices? Stand up to the status quo? Improve yourself, one lifetime at a time? Despite this ambiguity, it’s a fun movie to watch. Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Hugh Grant and the rest of the cast disappear into their multiple characters, with the help of amazing makeup. It’s beautifully made. Every shot is carefully nurtured. The music is great. It doesn’t feel three hours long. But again, I’m not sure what it’s about, though I’m grateful to The Wachowskis for trying something original. As Greg Hobson says, sometimes you just have to swing for the fences.

Holy Motors

I hated this. It’s a plotless, pointless mishmash of pretentious European art-house bullshit. It seems intent on angering, excluding and irking. It’s too bad, because some of the locations and production resources were pretty cool. There's also a nice bit from Kylie Minogue. It’s a shame it was all wasted on this jerk off.

Sunday, November 04, 2012

The Impossible

It reminded me of one of those fantastic Irwin Allen disaster movies from the 70’s. Ewan McGregor and Naomi Watts are great as the disaster victims, struggling with their own injuries, surrounded by death, and confounded by the chaos and confusion during the aftermath of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, one of the deadliest natural disasters in history. Naomi Watts especially shines in an unselfconscious role as she tries to lead her son to safety and survive her own severely icky injuries. Although it’s based on an amazing true story, there are brief moments of this that seem a little sappy. The music swells too much, some people cry a little too hard, and there’s a conspicuous lack of subtlety during certain key moments. Nevertheless, it’s emotional when it needs to be and casts some light on a worthy topic.

Saturday, November 03, 2012

John Dies at the End

By far my favorite movie to come out in a long time. It’s like "Bill and Ted’s" meets a Richard Kelly movie. Two funny stoners, possibly alive, possible dead jumping through time and dimensions. Paul Giamatti listening to the story bemused, and finally, screaming. It’s an adrenalin rush of surreal insanity, a brave leap so far from convention, it deserves some kind of award just for existing. Big kudos to Don Coscarelli and company.

Friday, November 02, 2012

The Man with the Iron Fist

The RZA obviously has huge love of old martial arts movies. So much so that he tried to make one. It’s clear the love is there, but yow! The cutting and pacing are completely wonky, weird and choppy. It’s like they turned a 6 hour cut into a two hour cut and decided to remove all the plot explanations to save time. It feels more like a coming attractions trailer than an actual movie. It’s fun though, and will please many a martial arts fan and/or stoner for years to come.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Here Comes The Boom

Kevin James is a likeable lead, but even for a simplistic comedy like this, the script is nonsensical. There are several amateurish and stupid plot turns, that, if you stop and think about them for two seconds, you would realize they’re are less sophisticated than the average cartoon. But, whatever. The kids seem to like it.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Led Zeppelin - Celebration Day

It’s a filmed Led Zeppelin concert from 2007, which the band supposedly spent years mixing and finishing. With minimal visuals and showmanship, it’s a great concert and the band sounds fantastic. Not a lot of horsing around between songs or chit chat and the film itself is too cutty. But there are solid renditions of many of the famous tracks. Even though the band sounds tight and well-rehearsed, it’s not completely clear that they were having a good time. Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones wear permanent scowls, as though they’re concentrating way too hard to enjoy themselves. Jason Bonham, however, seems elated to be there.

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Seven Psychopaths

Sam Rockwell has this way of taking supporting roles and stealing movies. He does it here, too, in spite of the super-cool pedigree of the rest of the cast. It’s funny, and it was about some things I wasn’t expecting it to be – the plight of the blocked screenwriter, for one thing. So there’s lots of screenwriting jokes and lots of killing people jokes. I don’t know how the rest of the people in the world will like it, but I did.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Argo

It’s kind of an “easy A.” It’s adapted from a book based on a true story, it’s a period piece, it’s suspenseful, it’s political, it has a happy ending. It was practically guaranteed to garner a best picture nom before the cameras even rolled. Only a moron could fuck it up. Nevertheless, Ben Affleck and company go the extra mile, filming with an epic scope, pushing the suspense and basically nailing every aspect of this. The result is an almost perfect movie, combining suspense and drama, historical weightiness with Hollywood corniness. I found only brief moments of this to be hokey, like an excessive last-minute chase. But it’s lovingly hokey, a celebration of all old-fashioned Hollywood chases. A gloriously heroic, nick-of-time escape. They could have played Rossini’s William Tell Overture and it would have been okay. Kudos to Smokehouse, Affleck, and everyone involved.

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Arbitrage

Richard Gere, who doesn’t have any of that neck fat that old guys get, is consummate as the anti-hero in this “the villain wins” cautionary tale. The problem with anti-hero movies is you’re not sure who to root for, and not rooting for someone can make you look inward, and who wants to do that?

Friday, October 05, 2012

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

As the first half of this movie rolled by, the soundtrack was great, but I wondered what was the point of it all. The movie takes its time but it does eventually end up being “about” things – dramatically sexual things that can completely define someone’s personality for the rest of their lives. The cast was great and delivered their teenage characters easily, maybe because they’re all adults portraying children with no orthodontia, acne, or any other body issues. (Man, I could have CRUSHED high school if I had been 21!) Anyway, it’s a lovely, poetic movie, treating the very serious subject of high school with utmost artistry and seriousness. And of course, the soundtrack was good, as it should be.

Monday, October 01, 2012

Hotel Transylvania

This was a cute and inoffensive animation with a kind of manic energy normally reserved for TV cartoons. No point in rushing out to see this one, but kids might like it.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Looper

**SPOILER-RAMA!**

It’s basically The Terminator. But the filmmakers go out of their way to pepper the plot with futuristic gismos and rules and subplots and paradoxes, all seemingly designed to distract you from realizing that it’s basically the same plot as Cameron's opus. Another way they try to distract is to anchor the movie with great actors giving great performances, raising this from a b-movie, time-travel gimmick into an intensely watchable sci-fi parable. So while it might not be completely original, it’s a fun night at the movies.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

End of Watch

Made in a faux documentary format, it reminded me of the show “Cops.” The acting and cop detail are top notch. The personal lives of the main characters are explored deeply and respectfully. But it’s the moments of levity, when the cops are giving each other the business, that really make the movie shine. It makes you want to go up to a cop and thank them for all of their hard work and service, but know that they’re going to laugh at you behind your back as soon as you walk away.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Possession

Don’t have a lot of strong opinions about this. It’s a low-budget, PG-13 creep fest that adeptly maneuvers through all of the well-worn clichés of a “child possessed” movie. Efforts to make it unique by making it the “Jewish Exorcism” are successful, in that it’s a slightly different spin on the familiar tale. There are no embarrassingly bad moments, but nothing trail-blazingly original, either. (I laughed several times when the demonic girl screamed, "Don't touch my box, daddy! No one touches my box but ME!") Religious stuff tends to be really scary to some. God, the devil, demons, and spirits remind people about their mortality, which is innately terrifying. But in terms of a movie plot, the spiritual hullabaloo can always be resolved by the simple reading of some book or incantation. Story-wise it’s kind of anticlimactic but cinematically there’s always plenty of set dressing askew and child vomit to be mopped up.

Friday, September 14, 2012

The Master

Is it or is it NOT about Scientology? It sure seems like it is. But more specifically it's about one guy, a war tarnished, sexually frustrated simpleton, played with balls and intensity by Joaquin Phoenix, who falls for the sci-fi sermons of a charismatic author. Impeccably directed, it imprints lasting scenes and images that dare to confront but never resolve the reasons why someone would join a cult. I found my mind drifting away during sequences that float separately from the plot, which intend to be symbolic or just cinematically pretty. But the one-on-one face offs between Phoenix and his life coach, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, are riveting. My mind also keeps going back to a scene on the beach, where Phoenix first hilariously assaults a woman-shaped sandcastle, but then lies next to it, longingly.

Friday, September 07, 2012

ParaNorman

Norman can see dead people. They’re everywhere! So it’s not a mind-blowingly original premise, but the animation is very cool and there are parts that are actually pretty scary. It seems like the producers are hoping for A Nightmare Before Christmas holiday tradition -- something timeless that kids will watch over and over again, every Halloween. I’m not sure if it’s all THAT. But it’s still an enjoyable family flick.

Friday, August 31, 2012

Cosmopolis

This reminds me a lot of Cronenberg's movie Spider from 2002. While Cronenberg stamps his name all over it, there’s none of the action, suspense or brutality of his many great movies. That doesn’t make this a bad movie, it just makes it a very boring one. It’s absolutely minimalistic. This makes A Dangerous Method look like Raiders of the Lost Arc. Performances are good, and I’m sure some of the ideas talked about in the dialogue are meaningful. But it’s so intentionally slow and sullen, Indy might say it might be better off in a museum.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Premium Rush

Having proven his stunt performing abilities in Inception, the busy JGL delivers a fun and tense diversion here. While not truly weak, the script and motivations of the extra creepy villain (Michael Shannon) are pretty thin. But that’s not the point of Premium Rush. The point is a ticking clock and one long bike chase. Filmmakers wallow in wild, “Go-Pro” style shots of bikes racing in, around, and OVER New York city traffic. (How’d they shoot some of that stuff??) It’s a bicycle fetishist’s wet-dream, and truly a cinematographer’s movie. It’s like one long, amazing Red Bull commercial. It’s definitely worth seeing if you like this sort of thing, i.e. bikes and/or camera gadgetry and/or Manhattan settings. And most people looking for a decent action movie will probably like it, too.

Friday, August 24, 2012

The Expendables 2

Embarrassing. Especially the lame efforts to work in all the action stars’ bygone catch-phrases. How many more “I’ll be back” jokes do we really need? The miracle of this movie is the actors who managed NOT to embarrass themselves. The real stunt fighters, Jet Li and Jason Statham, manage to make it out unscathed. Chuck Norris, not so much.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Awesome; I Fuckin' Shot That!

A wildly entertaining and inventive concert film of a Beastie Boys show from 2004. 50 audience members were given cameras and the film cuts between them, often creating rhythmic and almost stop-motion animated movement. Directed by Adam Yauch, it’s an undiscovered gem.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

The Campaign

There’s nothing really new here, and the resolution is clunky, but I laughed. Filmmakers take jokes all the way up to their R-Rated potential, which is refreshing these days, when so many other comedies are pulling punches.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

The Bourne Legacy

There isn’t an action scene in this movie for the first hour. Kind of risky for an action movie. It’s all exposition, except for a very un-fun gun massacre in a research lab. The former “Bourne” director Greengrass kept the talky scenes moving with a dancing camera and crazy cuts. But the current director Gilroy slows it all way down, requiring a little bit of patience. Once the action starts, though, it never stops. It’s fun, but you can tell they did it on a lower budget. During the chase, all the onlookers were staring at the camera!

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Beasts of the Southern Wild

They should have called this movie Where the Fuck are all of the Social Workers? Because it’s competently shot, this movie has a way of tricking you into thinking that it’s better than it is. Despite a really good child performance, this movie is a mess. It’s all pretentious, abstract symbolism. There’s nothing tangible or coherent. There’s barely a story, barely a plot and there’s no real point. I felt empty, angry and dirty when I left the theater. Imagine if, in Slumdog Millionaire, the little kid who dived into the shit at the beginning stayed covered in shit for the whole movie and there was a very sad, pointless ending. You might ask yourself, why did I watch this? That’s how I feel about "Beasts." But I’m sure everyone will say how important it is. I say: ew!

Friday, August 03, 2012

Total Recall

It’s amazing to me that I could still be impressed by computer effects, but well, here I am. Swooning. Seeing the cityscapes, future-cars, and super-elevators was awesome. Unfortunately, the script is joyless and dead serious. While the performances are skilled, I didn’t wind up caring very much for the characters or their peril.

Monday, July 30, 2012

The Amazing Spider-Man

…shouldn’t be called “Amazing”. Maybe “The Usual Spiderman.” This feels like a TV movie version of a Spiderman movie, with none of the gravitas of the Sam Raimi movies. (I still maintain that Spiderman 2 is one of the best superhero movies ever made.) Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone are appealing leads, but they’re both WAY too old and sophisticated. It’s like watching John Travolta and Olivia Newton John in Grease all over again. They could be teachers! It’s not so much that it’s a “bad” movie. There’s nothing wrong with it, per se. I’m sure the kids will like it. But it’s just a shame that Spiderman is no longer Jesus.

Friday, July 20, 2012

The Dark Knight Rises

After a few days to think about the movie, and in light of the people in Aurora who died to see it, it seems like bad form to say this but, here goes: this movie doesn’t make any sense. The plot and the timelines don’t track, the motives of the villain, Bane, are foggy, and the villainous plan is terribly flawed. In The Dark Knight, the Joker had some flawed plans too, but he was crazy and he was trying to produce some large-scale joke-shop trickery. Bane, who sounds like a cross between Darth Vader and Tim Curry, isn’t named “the Joker”, so his plans can’t be big jokes. They need to serve some purpose. And when all the twists come to light, it’s way too easy to deconstruct the plan and say, “What the fuck?? What did he WANT all this time?” Nevertheless, there are some epic, bone-chilling action scenes and a very good ending, so it’s still worth seeing, even if the plot has holes you could drive ten batmobiles through.

Friday, July 06, 2012

Bernie

A likeable dark comedy featuring Jack Black in one of his best performances. Director Linklater intercuts real interviews with actual accounts of Bernie, thus bringing a more realistic, docudrama feel to the story that might otherwise come off as too creepy to be true. The cast is great, the pace is speedy, and the creep factor, especially when Jack Black sings in the church choir, is high. It’s a fun movie.

Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Brave

** SPOILER TIME!!**

Is this a feminist parable? Is it symbolic of anything greater than itself? Is it based on some great Scottish fable? It’s really hard to tell. One third of the way into the movie, the main character accidentally turns her mother into a bear. A Bear! So then the rest of the movie is spent trying to figure out how to turn her back into a woman. Is that symbolic of anything? I know in many fairy tales there are candlesticks, toads, wooden puppets, and “beasts”, but bears? It feels like a Non sequitur. A beautifully animated Non sequitur.

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Ted

A predictable bromance hitting all the major beats of the boy-meets-bear, boy-loses-bear, boy-gets-bear-back arc. Many of the jokes aren’t funnier just because the teddy bear is saying them, so they’re missing some situational potential. But the cast is likeable and committed, and the laughs come often enough, so no harm, no foul.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

…could be cited in a screenwriting textbook as a perfect example of what NOT to do in a screenplay. This was awful! Characters have weak goals, they set out on quasi-quests that go unfulfilled, they leave notes for people they hope to confront. It’s a disaster! They all DESERVE to die! There’s one funny scene in a TGI Friday’s that hints at what this movie could have been. A bacchanal. A balls-to-the-wall, petal-to-the-metal sex and revenge orgy. Then as the Earthlings stand naked and bloodied, awaiting their fate, the asteroid cruises right on by as the credits role. That’s the movie I want to see. This? This was terrible.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

An amazing, unknown piece of history! Some of today’s best historians, including Bill O’Reilly and the publishers of textbooks in Texas, have discovered brand new facts about historical figures and scientific theories that bravely and completely redefine what less enlightened “scientists” and “historians” have been teaching us for years. This is no exception. Not only do vampires exist, but they caused the civil war. Lincoln was secretly trained to kill them! The cinematic depiction of Lincoln’s secret life is a bloody, flaming bonanza! Here’s hoping this information, along with the truth about where we come from, creationism, makes it into text books as soon as possible.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Savages

It’s actually kind of tame for an Oliver Stone movie. The ad campaign cultivates hope for another Natural Born Killers, a funny, insanely violent satire. But Savages falls more in line with U Turn, a dirty, dustbowl crime-fiction noir. A world in which there’s bad people and then there’s WORSE people. So it’s less dangerous than the title and the trailers would have you believe. Not that that’s bad. There are fun moments. But the ending’s a debacle so this is a mixed bag.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Do-Deca-Pentathlon

The busy Duplass brothers just put out a movie in March, Jeff, Who Lives at Home. This seems like the same movie, but not as good. It’s more ugly, more “mublecore”, and the motives of the characters are less worked out. I admired this movie for the low-tech, improv style in which it was made. Five characters, one house, and lots of tension. This looks like it was made with a couple of credit cards. But the story of the feuding brothers in Jeff Who Lives at Home, along with the great cast, makes it a much better movie than this.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Safety Not Guaranteed

A pleasant romantic comedy about a reporter who at first investigates then befriends a kook who believes he can travel through time. The reporter, Aubrey Plaza, impressively acts with her eyes more than anything else, to great effect. The kook, played by Marc Duplass, is a little hard to believe as a sincere but misunderstood geek, since I’ve seen him play the wise-ass in so many other things, including The League. The movie says a lot about love, and wanting to go back to the past for no other reason than to take another shot at a long lost crush. It runs a little slow at times, but it feels pretty honest.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

The Queen of Versailles

Great, great, great documentary. Funny in all the wrong places. I can’t pronounce it, and I can’t use it in a sentence, but the word “schadenfreude” comes to mind, which is to say that watching these obnoxiously dumb and outrageously wealthy people go from being billionaires to millionaires is both hilarious and painful. The trophy wife at the center of the story is Jackie Siegel, a beauty queen who married a sleazy time-share billionaire thirty years her senior. When she gives a tour of the 90,000 square foot house she’s building, talking about the ice rink and the bowling alley, you want to strangle her. Watching the money disappear, watching them layoff the servants, and watching Jackie try and keep her family together is hilarious and poignant. As I was watching, I could almost FEEL my worldview changing. I thought about how out-of-touch these people were. About ugly and nasty extreme wealth could be. I thought about poor people. And I thought about myself, and areas in my life where I waste money. In the end, Jackie Siegel comes off as a pretty decent person who really just wants a nice life for her family. She likes the bubble that she’s in -- she more or less admits that. But when she buys her son a bike, and the film cuts to a garage full of at least a dozen bikes, you can’t help but wanting to grab a sign and head on down to the nearest occupy Wall Street protest. A must see movie.

Friday, June 08, 2012

Prometheus

It’s possible that I was so happy to be seeing this movie that I may not have been able to watch it objectively. I can admit that and I think it’s perfectly fair to feel that way. Nevertheless... Ridley Scott’s long-awaited prologue was fantastic to watch. Every frame and every sound was beautifully expressed by the actors, the designers and the crew. It’s true: the script leaves a million unanswered questions and there are times when characters do really stupid things that smart scientists in space just wouldn’t do. But there are great performances here, too. From Noomi Rapace to Michael Fassbender. There are suspenseful sequences that terrified me. There’s a four-minute “surgery” scene that’s one of the most hilariously tense scenes I’ve seen in any movie in years. And in spite of all of the unanswered questions, the movie fulfills EXACTLY what it promises to: the origins of the Alien. Beyond that, we’ll just have to wait for the sequels. I’d buy my tickets now if I could.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Crooked Arrows

A really corny underdog sports movie with all the best intentions. Make a movie about a less popular sport. Check. Make a movie featuring Native American culture and Native American actors. Check. Have the team win the big game against the rich white dudes. Check. Have the hero learn a valuable lesson about himself and his heritage. Check. Have a “Spartacus” moment. Check. Have several wise elders dispense pearls of wisdom like, “You have the speed of the eagle.” Check. It’s a very by-the-numbers movie, but the 12-year-olds I saw it with liked it.

Friday, June 01, 2012

Snow White and the Huntsman

Expertly designed. The dark and creepy contrasts beautifully with the fairy tale utopia. It’s Charlize Theron’s movie, and she dives enthusiastically into her crazy, narcissistic queen, having a ball the whole time. Conversely, Kristin Stewart pouts and sulks throughout, even at the end when she’s supposed to be happy. Would it kill her to smile once in a while? Show some fucking levity? Yeesh. Still, it’s a fun movie to watch, seeing the fairy tale world rendered with bona fide imagination.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Moonrise Kingdom

It’s so Wes Anderson it’s almost TOO Wes Anderson. The only thing missing was a Wilson brother. Otherwise, the cast was amazing. Famous character actors drop in one right after the other, which helps prop up the main kids -- two new young actors, inexperienced, but trying their best. They don’t do a terrible job carrying the movie, but it’s still a relief when they cut back to Bruce Willis. I liked Darjeeling Limited more, maybe because the principals we’re closer to my age group. So I’m not saying I disliked this, I just had a little more trouble connecting emotionally to the circumstances, if that makes any sense. But it’s still very well designed in that precious and whimsical Wes Anderson style, a world of analogue color and nostalgia.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Men In Black 3

I liked this. It’s funny, it moves fast, and Will Smith’s comic timing feels perfectly in tact. Press reports say this was hard to make. Lots of rewriting and reshooting, etc. But I didn’t notice.