Snake Eyes

Nicolas Cage plays an Atlantic City cop trying to solve a murder during a boxing match, as Brian DePalma and Cage both jerk the audience… Wait. Wait. Wrong Snake Eyes… 

 2021 Snake Eyes, based on the G.I. Joe character, unfolds like a conventional Samurai/Karate movie. Avenging a father’s death. Infiltrating a Yakuza crime family. Passing a few crazy Ninja tests. There’s a family dynasty. There’s a sentimental sword. There’s a magic amulet that gives you super powers. There’s a requisite car chase. There’s a fair amount of karate fighting. There’s a bad-ass grandma in a kimono. Henry "Crazy Rich Asians" Golding does a good job and keeps his character grounded in what is otherwise a pretty trope-filled b-movie. But because it’s based on a toy line, it can’t really be that violent, so there aren’t nearly as many beheadings as I would like. You can’t win ‘em all…

Black Widow

The entire thing… The ENTIRE POINT of this movie is for Scarlett Johansson/Black Widow to hand off ass-kicking duties to new ass-kicker Florence Pugh. Because it’s a prequel and everyone knows Black Widow’s going to die later, so the stakes aren’t really life and death in this. The acting here is all pretty good. The skilled cast slums it a little in this interim narrative, a rough metaphor about sex trafficking. Otherwise, it’s kind of a bland story. Black Widow deserved her own side-story before she was dead, so she could have a little more skin in the game. But juggling the schedules of all these supers in Marvel World can’t be easy.

No Sudden Move

Take out a legal pad and get ready to take notes. Because it’s a crime noir, and they’re talking fast and they’re dropping names of crime bosses and various goons like lightning and it’s hard to keep track of everybody. When the double-crosses start, of which there are many, you’re going to need a reference sheet. Still, sharp, top-notch acting all around from a great cast moving things along at an aggressively clippy pace. To move quickly, I suppose, or for some other artistic reasons, Soderberg uses the same lens for the entire movie. A wide-angle so wide there’s a vignette effect on the whole show. Mostly this is cool, and creates a visual consistency in the complicated plot. But it occasionally distorts things on the side of the frame, which can be goofy and disorienting. But those are the sacrifices to make for speed, baby!

Midnight Sky

George has learned a thing or two from the directors of his previous space movies (Gravity, Solaris) and has assembled a thoughtful, contemplative sci-fi cautionary tale about the end of the world. So, yeah it’s nihilistic. And it’s pretty slow at times. But the acting is great all around, the sets are cool, and the music by Alexandre Desplat is stunning and heartbreaking. But I can’t really recommend this because it’s just so fucking sad.

The Sparks Brothers

This great, loving doc about the band Sparks achieves everything it aspires to. It teaches dummies like me that it was more than just a new wave band in the 80s with a few hits. It entertains. It educates. And it explores a deep love and partnership between brothers who, for some cosmic reason, have similar artistic goals. Highly recommended. Kudos to Edgar Wright, et al.

Bo Burnham Inside

Is this a movie? I’m not sure. But it’s really interesting to see how the filmmaker uses limited space and no crew (but unlimited gear, apparently) to weave together an essay about pandemic loneliness and online identity crises. Not always funny, but really creative and worth watching.

Summer of Soul

The myth of the found footage has always piqued the imaginations of movie nerds and historians. It’s used here as a marketing tool, effectively creating intrigue. But the footage was never LOST, right? Somebody suddenly found interest in it – in this case Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson. Editors and colorists do a great job of reviving and trimming this concert series -- a time capsule to 1969 and black culture, and a really entertaining music doc.

Raising Arizona

According to the rules of the weblog, Raising Arizona would never be logged unless I saw it on the big screen. But since the lockdown, the guidelines have been relaxed. It continues to delight and amaze. Knowing so much more about film production than I used to, I still wonder how they did some of it. Definitely one of my ALL TIME favorite movies.

F9: The Fast Saga

I remember being a little kid and delighting in amazement when James Bond’s car turned into a submarine in The Spy Who Loved Me. He drives up on the beach, rolls down his window, and drops a fish out. As a kid, I never asked, “How did the fish get in the car? It’s air tight! The sub would have sank if a fish could get in!” 

Suspension of disbelief is a double negative. It doesn’t work unless there’s something positive to focus on. Preferably something bright and shiny and flying through the air. Preferably something automotive. Dan Casey and the thousands of filmmakers and technicians of F9 understand this and proceed with unbridled, preposterous glee. Sit back, sip your beer, eat your popcorn, and marvel at the excess.

The Fate of the Furious

Jason Statham fares best here, as usual, doing that John Woo/Hard Boiled thing on an airplane rescuing Dom’s baby as he kills no less than 30 dudes. Otherwise, Dom’s baby?? Off screen, Dom actually fell in love? With a woman? And had a baby?? It’s becoming a nitrous-oxide-fueled soap opera with a cast of hundreds. It’s like Game of Thrones – you need a facebook to keep track of everybody. And there’s no sign that this franchise is slowing down. I’m looking forward to the arrival of evil twins. 

 

The Hitman's Bodyguard

As Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson sit safely in their green-screen, car-driving soundstage and crack wise, an enormous stunt team schleps around mainland Europe shutting down entire cities and shooting massive, scorched-Earth chase sequences for our viewing pleasure. I’m in awe of the logistics. The story is only so-so.

Cruella

Still in pandemic mode, Disney+ releases what was obviously meant to be a big, theatrical release as an on-demand video. All the visuals are spectacular and it’s too bad a lot of people (like us) weren’t able to see this on the big screen. I’m still grateful to have seen it. I wonder if Disney should re-release some of these Disney+ movies in theaters at some point? They deserve the big theater experience.

Shoplifters of the World Unite

Fun, partially true story about an emo, new wave kid who forces a Denver DJ at gunpoint to play nothing but The Smiths for hours. But watching a movie that depicts Denver in 1987, but was filmed in New York, can be frustrating. Details that a local would love to see were missing. Still, an excellent soundtrack.

Fast and Furious: Hobbs and Shaw

It’s a contrast of ass-kickers. Hobbs, who is big, kicks ass one way, while Shaw, who is more compact, kicks ass a different way. Every single scene in the movie works overtime to point out that Jason Statham and Dwayne Johnson are physically different, and therefore have juxtaposed ass-kicking styles. So, replace the car racing with straight-forward ass-kicking and it’s a whole new enchilada. Also, it’s kind of Britishy. Some British ass-kickyness is featured to class-up the place.

Gemini Man

Ang Lee can’t seem to make a movie without diving into some technologically impossible boondoggle. He loves to bite off more than he can chew, whether it’s a visual effect, a stunt, a period costume, or some kind of new high-tech camera. When he’s successful, it’s often amazing and it doesn’t distract. And he’s willing to take those risks. This one distracts. While the effect is still pretty amazing, young Will Smith’s mouth still looks weird when he talks. And when he fights himself, it goes on WAY too long. So, it’s hard to concentrate and get into the story. It’s hard to care about the characters. You’re always trying to bridge the uncanny valley. Otherwise, it’s a perfectly entertaining, action-packed, sci-fi yarn – as long as nobody talks.

Mulan

Tropes and conventions, probably used for hundreds of years in the Beijing Opera, garner a reverent new spin thanks to director Niki Caro and the many thousands of technicians and millions of dollars behind this movie. Moments of this are sensational; pristine shots of breathtaking landscape, impeccable costumes, and meticulous make-up design. The pro-empire script is nothing to write home about and the acting is par for an epic like this. But there’s TECHNIQUE galore in this that’s so impressive. Did Disney give them more time? Did Disney give them more money? What was it that made this different? Unless you're an 8-year-old girl, it’s not a very emotional film, but that doesn’t really matter if you’re marveling at the compositions. 

Also: Because of Covid, this came out on video, which is an understandable business decision.  But Disney should think about re-releasing this on the big screen. It deserves a movie theater treatment.

Wrath of Man

In the first few minutes of this Jason Statham/Guy Richie reunion, you’ll notice things sound a little different. There are efforts all around to affect a modern-day version of a film-noir, crime drama, tough-guy dialogue delivery -- a vernacular trying too hard to be Shane Black or Tarantino. It sounds weird and it’s distracting. Thankfully, most of the movie unfolds in flashbacks, so those characters and that style disappears and the editor takes over the storytelling. If it were told in a linear fashion, there would be nothing new about this at all. But the gerrymandered story structure manages to build some suspense until the inevitable Heat-inspired, bullet-riddled conclusion. It’s always a kick to see Jason Statham doing his whispery, soccer-hooligan thing. But for the most part this is old hat. 

It’s notable that this is the first movie I’ve seen in a movie theater since the pandemic started, so about a year and a half. I’m glad to be back. 

Motherless Brooklyn

A hard-boiled noir about a tough-talking P.I. with Tourette’s Syndrome. Ed Norton directed the HELL out of this, and the worst part of it, the only bad part really, is the fact that the main character has Tourette’s. It feels so acty-schmackty and forced. Otherwise, this gumshoe crime drama is solid. It’s long, but that’s okay. It’s really well-shot and well-acted by the ensemble of famous, aging, tough guys. The locations are great. One wonders how the movie would be if the character DIDN’T have Tourette’s, which defeats the whole purpose I think.

Thunder Force

Could have been funnier. The general conceit, that two sort of heavy ladies become superheroes, has potential. But Melissa McCarthy’s character, the tough-talking teamster type, relies on crassness and pratfalls for humor, which gets old. It rebounds a little when Jason Bateman enters with some deadpan surrealism. Otherwise, it’s a lazy goof on superhero movies and is only sporadically funny.

News of the World

It’s a tried and true, through-and-through Western. There’s good guys and bad guys. There’s an orphan in trouble. There’s a land grab. There’s Indians. There’re gunfights. There’s a runaway wagon. It checks all the “western” boxes and succeeds in entertaining, despite all of the conventions. I mean: it’s Hanks. It’s gotta be at least decent, right?

Justice League: The Snyder Cut

This long-awaited opus runs about four hours, but is never boring, thanks to the clippy action and sagacious plot. With the subtlety of a flying brick, it hammers in Zach Snyder’s humorless, operatic version and does everything to erase the Joss Whedon version. There were things about Joss’s version that I liked. The Danny Elfman music, the occasional light-heartedness, and, believe it or not, Affleck’s performance as Batman. It’s not that this version is better or worse, it’s just different. Once you mentally prepare yourself for the four-hour running time, it’s never dull, even though the story is almost incomprehensible. Apparently, there’s a horned-demon who’s in trouble with his boss for not conquering enough worlds, and he needs to step-up his game. So, he hastily rushes into conquering Earth, not delving into the volumes and volumes of comic-book research chronicling that Earth’s mightiest heroes can and will kick his ass. It’s admirable and clear that Zach Snyder and his team love movies. They love heroes, they love visuals, they love action. But they’re trying TOO hard to impress. There’s no real point in criticizing a film for being bloated and self-indulgent. What’s the alternative? Especially if it’s exactly what the audience asked for?

Coming 2 America

It’s nice to see some of these characters again after 30 years, but it’s rarely laugh-out-loud funny. Part of what made the original funny was a kind of over-the-top goof of the fish-out-of-water trope. Those gags about how “different” Africa was don’t really hold up in the modern era. So, it’s now more about a class struggle. How rich is too rich? It’s always nice to see Eddie Murphy doing his thing, but it’s lazy and ham-fisted compared to Dolemite is My Name.

The Social Dilemma

I could have done without the little reenactment/melodrama about the family getting sucked into their social media sites. But the interviews with the tech gurus about the impact and future of social media is really worthwhile. A lot of it boils down to data mining. We’re being scanned, always, while we’re online and being force-fed information that fulfills our world-view so that we can be marketed to. Is the solution really to give up using your phone and quit reading online content? Or is the solution to seriously crack down on the media and tech giants abusing our membership to their social media thing? It’s a well-made film and a smart presentation of this dilemma.

One Night in Miami

So, there’s absolutely no doubt that this was adapted from a play. Not that that’s a bad thing, but it’s definitely a thing. Regina King handles the four characters adeptly, and the acting is above par. Still, there’s a theatrical vibe, and characters rarely say anything that isn’t totally important. It’s tricky to direct historical characters who were icons. No one ever wants to depict them as being frivolous. Filmmakers manage to strike a good balance between weightiness and casual male interaction. The result is an involving conversation with twists and turmoil – and a window into the private thoughts of the icons. And nevertheless, a great directorial debut from King.

Doug's Favorite Movies of 2020

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

Soul

The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart  

The Trial of the Chicago 7

Beastie Boys Story

Palm Springs

 

Sound of Metal

Features a strong performance by Riz Ahmed and shows us a subculture we’ve never seen before. But the story lacks resolution, and the hero makes choices that don’t make sense. It’s as though the filmmakers ran out of time, and had to wrap it up as quickly as possible. Still, the great, committed showing from Riz will receive accolades.

The Pixar Story

A really warm-hearted and loving doc about the animation studio, made before the Lassiter “unwanted hugs” scandal, so it’s a bit dated. You really have to admire all of these people for what they achieved, and how quickly.

Ghost in the Shell

Second viewing, but this time in the 3-D Oculus movie theater (using the "Bigscreen" App). Still a great looking movie, especially in that 3-D. Picture and sound was great, but relies on a strong wifi signal and a charged battery. Is this the future of movie viewing? Probably not. But a cool, one-off experience.

Wonder Woman 1984

This is a perfectly suitable superhero yarn with lots of running and fighting. The main villain, a sleazy tv salesman (Pedro Pascal), who bears a striking resemblance to a certain twice-impeached, evil, blonde-haired charlatan, becomes exceedingly dangerous when he develops mind control. The world becomes a bunch of selfish, crazed assholes and Diana: Princess of the Amazons can only stop it by fighting with Kristin Wiig, for some reason. It’s nothing to write home about, and lacks some of the exhilarating badassery of the first movie, but it’s an acceptable Christmas diversion. Would it have been funner in theaters? Yes. But I’m grateful to HBO for making it available.

Soul

Pete Docter is a thinker, that one. He challenges himself to manifest dreams, anxieties, and complications of the human psyche more than most contemporary artists; depicting with childlike simplicity the roots of human motivation. By doing so, he also pushes feature animation to its greatest potential. Sure, it’s nice to see pretty colors and hyper-real scenery. But to create a character out of a cynical, unfinished “soul” who has yet to find her “spark” is a deep dive. And to animate that idea into a little talking blob filled with existential angst, and make her relatable to a mass audience, is a rousing ambition. Despite all the marketing and brouhaha, this isn’t about JAZZ. It could be about anything in the human spectrum; what they sometimes call "the calling." But sure: the music is good, and the animated depiction of music is cool. But the big swing for the emotional fences is what makes this special. Certainly one of the best movies of the year.

The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart

One of the better music docs of late, and we’ve watched several. It teaches you a lot about the background of the band, their childhood and their relationship. It’s very personal, but it also dips into the technical, nuts-and-bolts music recording bits, too. An excellent example of its type of thing and a fun watch.

Crock of Gold: A Few Rounds with Shane MacGowan

A sad and poignant music doc about the lead singer of the Pogues. A nice introduction to the music, and a revealing look at MacGowan, but it’s not celebratory. He had a rough life, and it shows.

Mank

Great looking and great sounding movie, but I wish I’d been sitting next to a Hollywood film historian as I watched this so I could ask questions and get clarifications. It assumes the viewer knows a lot of the history already, which can be frustrating. Performances are all top-notch and, like the cinematography, will probably get a bunch of nominations. But there's something aloof and impersonal about this -- watching a drunk rant from afar. Filmmakers here are always keeping the audience at an arm's length, and you sometimes wish it was somehow more intimate. Nevertheless, a grand and high-caliber entertainment.

Zappa

Detailed music doc is more about the man than it is about the music. It covers a huge span of time and a lot of material, but it’s a loving tribute. The episodes when he faced-off with the government about artistic freedom are especially impressive. He stuck his neck out – for all of us.

Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn

At its core, it’s a medium-budget action movie showcasing peripheral comic book characters – so it feels like they had a lot of limited resources. But like a modern-day Tank Girl, it’s full of wisecracks and a couple of pretty clever action sequences, despite those aforementioned limited resources. Harley Quinn is a villain, right? So are we rooting for the villain?

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

Should be an Acting 101 instructional video: "How to stay in Character." Sasha Baron Cohen and his partner in crime playing his daughter, Maria Bakalova, somehow manage to keep straight faces as they pull the legs and take the piss out of a variety of myopic Americans (and one nice and fairly supportive babysitter). Certain moments are funny, but it’s mostly gross-out/Tom Green/Jackass style humor that elicits groans and cringes. Kudos to Cohen, though, for folding in a little bit of character growth about gender roles and equality.

The Trial of the Chicago 7

I know this isn’t a documentary. I know dramatic license is allowed. But it’s hard to know how much of this trial really happened this way and how much of it is embellished by Aaron Sorkin – but some of the shit that went down is CRAZY. Totally outlandish. If anything, it’s an indictment of the entire US legal system, and how one loopy, senile judge can decide the fates of so many people and then sleep like a baby at night. The loopy old judge in question is played with expertise by Frank Langella, whose depiction of the callous, unpredictable old fart will probably earn him a nomination or two. For a “courtroom drama” Sorkin sets a speedy pace, and it’s a fascinating bit of history. So it entertains AND educates, which is a good sign that Sorkin, who is already a masterful writer, is becoming one of the better directors.

Tremors: Shrieker Island

Of all of the important Oscar-contenders I should be watching right now… Of all the highly-recommended biographies and documentaries... Of all of the important, moody European crime dramas I've been told I must see... I somehow landed on THIS. It’s a Lost World rip-off, folding the Tremors canon into a Jurassic Park/Predator plot. It’s forgettable and hokey, although the stock footage the filmmakers chose for the jungle island exteriors was well-selected.

The Warriors

Walter Hill has always been preoccupied by criminals and the fine difference between a “good” criminal” and a “bad” criminal. The Warriors is a tough, cracking example of this – a law and order tone poem. There’s really not much story here, but it moves fast and maintains elevated badassery. It funny to watch also, for its goofy and dated details. Gang-bangers in suspenders on roller skates, for example.

Inmate #1: The Rise of Danny Trejo

A honest and personal document of the actor, who, with few choices in childhood, redeemed himself by portraying tough guys and criminals in movies rather than in real life. It works perfectly well as a chronicle. But what elevates it is the deeply intimate and introspective interviews with Trejo himself, who seems determined to pave the way for troubled kids like he was to stay out of trouble and find a passion.

Bill and Ted Face the Music

How excellent would it be to have a time machine so you could go around and correct all of your mistakes? So you could go around and find alternate, bogus versions of yourself and reshape your legacy? You could fulfill your destiny and create your masterwork, because you’ve been told by your future self what to do and how to do it? Wish-fulfillment is the modus operandi for this chapter of middle-aged dudes Bill and Ted, whose avant-garde, conceptual prog-rock band (which isn’t bad, by the way) has yet to write the world’s greatest song. It’s an innocent adventure about legacy and family, and the timing of its release could not be more bodacious. Kudos to all the filmmakers for making a completely unnecessary sequel kind of necessary.

(By the way, the pro rock song in the opening is called: "That Which Binds Us Through Time - The Chemical, Physical and Biological Nature of Love and the Exploration of Meaning Pt 1")

Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey

William Sadler and the “Death” scenes are really funny in this; sending up The Seventh Seal to an audience that probably never heard of it. They’ve got more money and bigger ideas here, but the introduction of a villain from the future is clunky. The guys using time travel to defeat him feels like a repeat, but it’s all in good fun, so…

 

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

Before "Beavis and Butt-head", before "Wayne and Garth", there was "Bill and Ted." They may be heavy-metal idiots who are flunking history, but Bill and Ted really grasp all of the time-travel concepts pretty quickly. Deep down, it’s actually pretty corny and innocent, and portends to teach kids about historical figures. But it’s most funny when the dudes finally figure out that time is on their side, and they use the booth to their advantage.

Slap Shot

Revisited this seminal hockey comedy; full of brutal physical comedy and dated world views. But it’s funny, that’s for sure. It’s funny to watch Paul Newman ham and mug, almost but not quite to the edge of exaggeration. I think he may have known what he was doing.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle

I finally watched this wildly popular family film. The cast seems to be having a blast. The plot is paper-thin and barely threads together the many, many action sequences. Bethany/Jack Black fares the best here as he/she learns the most valuable lesson: to be less selfish and focus on the present.

The Go-Go's

Unfolds like a lot of rock and roll documentaries. The scrappy beginnings, the rise to fame, the decent into booze and pills, the infighting, and the triumphant reunion. A lot of this material was covered in the VH1: Behind the Music episode, which maybe didn’t have as much of the sex and the drugs. It’s an important point, though, to cover all the “firsts” they achieved, and they fact that there hasn’t really been any rock band like it since. And a final thought: why the apostrophe?

The Jerk

The first of the Steve Martin/Carl Reiner collaborations, this goofy, rags-to-riches confection is considered a classic. But that doesn’t mean it’s not dated. There are a few N-bombs and a few unsavory caricatures. But watching Steve Martin wildly and meticulously do the physical comedy thing is exhilarating.

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

When this magnificent weblog began in 2006, the rules were always that the screened movie being screened had to have been screened on the BIG screen. And as I remember it, I watched Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story as a screener, so NOT on the big screen, which meant that it didn’t belong on Screenscreen. Which means there is no original review of this hilarious, cameo-filled send-up from 2007. But it belongs on a list of one of the best versions of this kind of Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker/Mel Brooks humor, lampooning a movie genre and all of its tropes. Which reminds me, I should revisit The Rutles…

The Old Guard

Reminds me a lot of Highlander. It could be a sequel, or an off-shoot. (See also: Wanted 2008) The supernatural details are managed sparingly. Otherwise, we’re in the world of a “crack team of elite assassins welcome a new member.” The premise and the plot are pretty familiar. Action scenes are contained, and make room for more character development and emotional deep-dives. All told, though, it’s an origin story. It’s a set-up; a backstory to a bigger better movie with a lot more killin’… hopefully.

Irresistible

Screenwriting guru Christopher Vogler believes that every story is a contract between the writer and the audience. As much as I admire Jon Stewart for many things, I think he violated that contract in this. There are deceivers in the movie, but the filmmakers are also deceivers. When a character deceives another character, that can be dramatic and interesting. But when the filmmakers deceive and withhold information from the audience it can be frustrating and unfulfilling. Some people like to have the rug pulled out from them in a movie. But I only like it if it feels like the filmmakers earned the right. Here, they didn’t, which is why at the end there are many sequences with many characters EXPLAINING what transpired in the movie. Bits of this are funny, and successfully take the piss out of US elections. Portions of this are also meant to send-up the “city slicker in the small town with the rubes” trope, à la Doc Hollywood. Which is okay, I guess. But the entire premise is a smoke screen, and at the end, it just elicits a shrug.

Palm Springs

Watched this for a second time in two days. The Groundhog Day/Edge of Tomorrow structure may not be original, but the characters’ time-wasting efforts are glorious.

Palm Springs

Time-travel parables usually portend to be about learning to be a better person, growing or improving in some way, or righting a wrong in the past. But in this funny rom-com, the best bits bask in the characters wasting time, fucking with people, and abusing their time-travel powers. Forget becoming a better person, let’s ruin this wedding for the umpteenth time! But like the best of these time-loops, the learning and growing becomes a priority, and it unfolds in the silliest ways possible. This could almost be classified as a stoner rom-com, but it’s got fine performances and a huge heart at the end. Kudos to Hulu, Lonely Island Classics, et al.

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

It basically follows the same Gary Sanchez/Will Ferrell formula. It’s filled with tropes and clichés. Will Ferrell is WAY too old to be playing the part. The movie is WAY too long. But I’ll be damned if I didn’t laugh – out loud – many times at this ridiculous thing. And so I guess the question is: is it too long? What’s too long? If funny stuff happens in the sequences that are too long, does that make it worth it? What the hell else is there to do? Do you have somewhere to be? Theatrical comedies, I believe, are test-marketed to death. You’ve gotta keep the bodies moving through the theaters. Sell the Milk Duds. But it’s as though Netflix and/or the filmmakers said, “Fuck it. Just keep all the weird, silly, incongruous stuff in there. Nobody can go anywhere. They’re trapped inside.” It’s a loving send-up of all things Icelandic and all the dreamer singing competitions. It’s an over-puffed confection. But, I mean, what else are you gonna do??

Gangs of New York

It’s my first time seeing this since it came out in theaters 18 years ago. It’s impressive for a lot of reasons. At the time, Daniel Day Lewis was getting all the applause for the method perfection. But that’s not what stands out now. It’s more about the epic spectacle. The sets. The costumes. The stunts. The sheer number of actors and people. This thing must have been a monster to produce.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople

Remember this name: Taika Waititi – if you don’t know it already. Because the guy seems to be everywhere and he’s producing really quality stuff. This is a basic and perfectly nice child/grumpy old man buddy comedy set in the New Zealand bush. It’s not revelatory and it’s not really suspenseful. But there’s really human performances and a couple of nice zingers. It’s a solid, watchable family film, as long as you can cut through the kid’s thick kiwi accent. What We Do in the Shadows (also from Taika Waititi) is one of my favorite things in any medium (lately) and this serves as a nice, less cynical companion piece.

Standing Up, Falling Down

Once it rushes through the unlikely bromance introductions and tropes, this ultimately has a big heart. It’s well-cast and never shies away from the realities of functional alcoholism, even as it plays some of this for laughs. Its big heart and safe resolution doesn’t dilute the tragedy here – for all of the characters, many of whom have given up on their dreams and are just biding their time. There’s no judgement of that. In fact, the movie presumes that it’s okay to give up on your dreams, and instead create new ones. That’s the truth, but it’s also kind of a tough pill.

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies

This was a BLAST. It’s played perfectly straight with an ensemble of highly adept British actors and the results are delightful and bad-ass. It takes a while to get to the mash-up, zombie-killing badassery, but when it arrives it’s not as incongruous as you might think. Writers walk a fine line between the Austen and the Grahame-Smith revisionism, and ultimately there’s a little more Austen in the mix. This movie is for a very specific audience, though, as you would have to be aware of and enjoy both corset flicks and zombies, because liking only one of the genres could sometimes mean you intensely dislike the other. No surprise: box-office and reviews for this were bad. But this is a hoot -- definitely worth catching. And it’s STRONGLY recommended that you view a straight Austen adaptation first, to prime the pump.

Emma.

It’s a familiar, corset-flick, Jane Austen adaptation. Filmmakers do a great job of keeping the plot moving and performances are all top-notch. The set designers and costumers were freebasing LSD, apparently, because there’s spectacular design in this. There are a couple of teeny-tiny little moments in which the filmmakers try to tell the story in a slightly atypical way. Using the camera, the filmmakers take us in closely to a finger touch or a hand hold; something that might seem minor in the modern age, but was probably a BIG FUCKING DEAL to Emma and her contemporaries. It’s a very-well executed version of its type of thing.

Mystify: Michael Hutchence

A long gestating doc about INXS singer Michael Hutchence. It’s not a happy ending, that’s for sure, and it’s hard to believe that they almost released this movie with no INXS songs in it. Hutchence's daughter intervened which allows the filmmakers to tell a complete but very sad story. Interviewees are only recorded, not shown, which makes room for filmmakers to use lots of 16mm and video footage Hutchence shot himself to fill out the film. Lots of footage is cool and very personal, albeit a bit oblique. There isn’t any wildly creative filmmaking here, but the story about the troubled popstar is fascinating and emotional.

Rams

Inspired by Kiki, who appreciates all things Icelandic, we watched an Icelandic dramedy from 2016 that’s bewilderingly poignant. Despite there being very little action and sparse dialogue, it’s an emotional and suspenseful story about redemption. Also, minimalist film compositions from the bare Icelandic farmland are unhurried and beautiful, but never boring. You learn things about sheep, which I get isn’t a big selling point. But it’s differently-paced from a mainstream American movie, even from the arthouse, and refreshingly simple.

The Lovebirds

Feels like a rough-cut – an unfinished movie. Bits of this are good and funny. But there are also moments that feel stale and clearly unnecessary. Why not trim them out? It’s as though the filmmakers were told the movie would no longer be coming out in theaters and just rush to finish it for Netflix. No market research will be allowed! There’s plenty of dramatic surprises and plenty of zingers. It could have been like Game Night, a comedy/thriller that gets more insane by the minute. But despite some laughs and manic energy, it lands roughly.

Hellboy

You never want your Hellboy to drag. But efforts to keep the budget down, maybe, yield long dialogue scenes in empty hallways. Not otherworldly and not really “fun.” It's not a complete train wreck. When the action starts, it’s suitably spectacular. But it feels like it’s lacking something. Urgency. Spectacle. Zaniness. And maybe that something is a little bit of… Guillermo del Toro.

Extraction

The most famous of the Hemsworths tries his hand at a Jason Bourne/John Wick kill fest. While there are brief attempts to be serious, giving the hero Tyler Rake (yes, that’s right, “Tyler Rake”) a sad backstory, this is mostly about the killin’. Most of the killin’ is with machine guns, but there’s still some stabbin’ and fightin’ and drivin’ to be had. The entire police force is corrupt, ya see, so there’s plenty of warm bodies for Thor to maim. But you have to wonder if some of those killed cops really WANTED to be corrupt, or they got peer-pressured into it by their corrupt cop buddies. No matter. They’re dead before you want to think about it. Kudos to Netflix for making a big-time, kick-ass action movie. But when the movie theaters start to fold, this might be the movie they point to as the final nail. That’s a good movie title: FINAL NAIL. Tyler Rake in “FINAL NAIL!” Only on Netflix!

Bad Education

The true story of a couple of Long Island charmers who bilk a public school district for their own gain. Very well-acted by Hugh Jackman, Allison Janney, Geraldine Viswanathan, et al. There’s a slick, sleazy quality to this, which I’m told is very “Long Island.” I wish there had been a little more reward and resolution for the persistent high school journalist who blew up the whole scandal. But generally a gripping true-crime thriller about bad neckties, overdone hair, and unchecked greed. It feels nice to see a brand-new movie; something fresh, not dusted off. Thanks HBO.

Beastie Boys Story

The Spike Jones movie version of the live, spoken-word performance Ad-Rock and Mike D did last year to celebrate the release of their book. Very funny, personal, and revealing. It’s a great tribute to MCA and the music in general, and a different kind of musical biopic. Is it a documentary? Is it live theater? It’s hard to define. But it’s the most personal and reflective “thing” it could be, which makes it highly rewarding and worthwhile.

Limitless

A re-watch of the Bradley Cooper, wish-fulfillment vehicle from years ago. It succeeds because it always makes you wonder, “What would I do if I had the pill?”

Good Boys

What if the kids from E.T. or the kids from Stranger Things could make dildo jokes? Yes, there’s a plot – kind of loosely based on the Risky Business, “I just broke Dad’s favorite thing and I have to repair/replace it before Dad gets home.” It’s all just a very lazy structure on which to build a solid and funny friendship between the three middle-school dopes, caught between the board game age and the kissing girls age. The main problems in the story are just problems that they create for themselves, which seems about right for 12-year-olds.

The Gentleman

Guy Ritchie’s latest British gangster opus features a lot of the same tools and tricks as his previous movies. But there’s a wraparound structure, like an old Agatha Christie novel, or maybe Sleuth, that’s unusual for him. It confuses and misleads at first, but gives it a structurally classic feel, which is less “fun” but raises the stakes. Very male-centric. Lots of shooting and punching and slapping. And inevitably there’s a character whose accent is so strong you can only understand one out of every five words. It’s clever and entertaining.

Heavyweights

A clunky Disney movie from 1995 about a “fat camp” for kids that tries as hard as it can NOT to be mean to fat kids. The cult-like health guru, a straining Ben Stiller, is the villain who only wants money and fame for being a dietary wiz. The kids form a strong ensemble but seem to be too obsessed with candy. Ultimately, kids’ movies about underdogs culminate in some kind of showdown. A race or something to pit the misfits against the Alphas. In this case, it’s a go-cart race – something that requires less strenuous physicality, which suits the portly hero. It’s rough, it’s loud, and it’s a bit dated, so it fits in well with Meatballs and Little Darlings.

Ready or Not

Rewatched this essential horror/satire, made more “for the fun of it” than anything else, but also sticks-it to rich people full H.A.M. Knives Out with spraying blood. A treat.

The Getaway

It’s my first time watching this influential Sam Peckinpah action movie, filled with famous Hollywood cast and crew. The worldview that Steve McQueen is super-cool and THIS is how it’s supposed to be done feels outdated. Yes, there are some cool filmmaking gimmicks, but overall it feels like the mindset is from a bygone era. The idea that a marriage, no matter how violent and dysfunctional, is supposed to go the distance also feels outmoded. It seems like Carol McCoy should do what Ali MacGraw did: drop out, move to New Mexico, and release a yoga video.

Zombieland

A timely re-watch. When it was first released in 2009, before the apocalypse, it was a “zom-com.” It was less about the end of humanity, and more about the nerd trying to survive and get the girl – when there’s NO competition. But watching it now, the context is a little different. Only after the armageddon, Columbus realizes he’s not a loner. He needs a family – however dysfunctional. He embraces other people’s need for happiness. He wants Tallahassee to have a Twinkie. It’s a pretty feather-weight comedy, but the moral is there. Stick together. Care about other people. And Rule #32: enjoy the little things.

Never Surrender: A Galaxy Quest Documentary

While it’s not mind-blowingly revelatory, it’s a warm-hearted chronicle of the filming of the Galaxy Quest movie. It more or less broke-even when it was released, and then over the years people have realized how great it is. A love-letter to fandom.

Yesterday

Nice guy Richard Curtis and visionary hooligan Danny Boyle team up for this love-letter to the Beatles. It’s a little more Curtis than Boyle, and therefore a bit soft. I’m surprised the lead guy didn’t play ping-pong with John Lennon at the end. For his part, Himesh Patel does a commendable job acting, singing, and playing the guitar. No small feat. Otherwise, it’s a perfectly nice family movie with a few laughs.

The Invisible Man

Elizabeth Moss is good in this; trembling and freaking out as she tries to convince people that her evil ex-husband is invisible and following her around to “gaslight” her. It’s a Lifetime movie with a bigger budget. But there are big plot holes and logic problems in this, beyond the typical sci-fi invisibility notions. This aspires to be a parable about patriarchy. It succeeds thematically, even if the sci-fi and logic needs finessing.

Ocean's Thirteen

Good rewatch/airplane movie. Soderbergh and Clooney made a great team. Soderbergh’s messy, run-and-gun shooting and editing style is inspiring. If there’s no time for a new set up, just zoom in!

Isle of Dogs

Missed this one in theaters. A visual feast that juggles about four different subplots. Wild, and definitely worth seeing.

Crazy Rich Asians

Finally saw this: wish fulfillment fairy tale. So many tropes! So many clichés! But the dance-party pace and kooky characters make this a fun watch.

Joker

Dumb. Gross. Vile. Phony. It’s trying so hard to be “edgy.” Look! He’s not wearing his shirt again! Look how bony he is! Look how slowly he paints on his clown makeup! That’s so creepy and edgy! Everyone knows that the Joker is a super-villain. But to make him a protagonist/anti-hero, there needs to be a dichotomy. A force for good somewhere in the script. There isn’t. So we get to watch a disabled malcontent get his ass kicked for 90 minutes, but we don’t really care about him because even though he’s a clown he’s not interesting and even though he’s a comedian he’s not funny. Does Leaf Phoenix do a good job playing this icky, forgotten, Bernie Goetz-inspired misfit? Sure. But if the “involuntary celibate” weirdo doesn’t redeem himself in anyway, what’s the point? This story needs a hero. Blech!

Jo Jo Rabbit

I’ll admit: I was apprehensive. A comedy about Hitler? Seems touchy. It would take a genius to strike the right balance in tone. Jo Jo Rabbit jumps from goofy, Monte Python humor to the true horrors of war and back again. As skeptical as I was, Taika Waititi and company succeed splendidly. This was great. Because it’s NOT a comedy about Hitler. It’s about a child imagining Hitler - rendering and reconciling the Nazi youth and how stupid war is. It’s a journey, to be sure. The mood swings are wild. But the performances are top-notch. The style and design is genial. The filmmakers swung for the fences and knocked it out of the park. You cannot help but admire them for, above all else, the risk.

1917

Introducing a ticking clock and telling a war story in real time would normally create a suspenseful, intense spectacle. Too bad they gave away most of the plot in the trailer. So, with all of those pesky plot surprises out of the way, the best scenes in this are the emotional departures and detours that help paint a more complete picture of war and, frankly, how stupid it is. The gimmick, the conceit, that the whole movie is “one shot” is flat-out wrong, even if it helps the marketing of 1917. There are obviously edits in the movie. What would be more accurate, maybe, is to say it’s in “real time.” Although even that isn’t totally accurate, since there are obviously moments when filmmakers are twisting and manipulating the timeline. Nevertheless, it’s a real technical achievement and succeeds more as an action movie than as a drama. It might win the Oscar for best picture. But for me, it was the smaller interludes in the middle that make it worth seeing -- diversions into underground bunkers, dairy farms, and bombed-out hiding places that are more about drama than scope.

6 Underground

Imagine if Michael Bay had a baby with Michael Bay. And they gave birth to twins and they named them both Michael Bay. And those twins had an incestuous baby and they named him Michael Bay. And then that Michael Bay made a movie. That movie would be 6 Underground. It’s pure mayhem. It’s so gaudy and stupid. It’s so cutty, I’m sure it broke some kind of record for the most edits in a single movie. It's jumping! It’s jittering! There are so, so, so many yachts. Someone made a bet with Michael Bay that he couldn’t make a movie as over-the-top and bombastic as the "Fast and the Furious" franchise and he said, “Here: hold my cocaine…”

Doug's Favorite Movies of the Decade

Max Max: Fury Road
Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
John Wick
Cabin in the Woods
Rango
Day and Night
Exit Through the Gift Shop
What We Do in the Shadows
20 Feet from Stardom
The Silver Linings Playbook
The Shape of Water

HONORABLE MENTION:

Black Swan
Kick Ass
Rogue One
Side Effects
The Queen of Versailles
American Hustle
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Get Out
La La Land
Gravity
Whiplash

Appendix A:

Best Performance by a cat: Inside Llewyn Davis
Best Performance by a dog: John Wick 3
Best Performance by a horse: Lone Ranger
Worst Performance: Jared Leto - Suicide Squad
Worst Performance in the Best Movie: (tie) Liam Hemsworth, Josh Hutcherson - Hunger Games
Best Performance in the Worst Movie: Hong Chau - Downsizing
Worst Movie: (tie) The Counselor and Birdman

Doug's Favorite Movies of 2019

Jo Jo Rabbit
The Laundromat
Bombshell
The Irishman
Dolemite is my Name
El Camino
John Wick: Chapter 3

HONORABLE MENTION:

Avengers: Endgame
Hotel Mumbai
Toy Story 4
Apollo 11
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Ready or Not

APPENDIX A - MOVIES THAT EVERYONE ELSE LOVED BUT THAT I HATED:

Uncut Gems

The Report

“My god! Page 1001 of the torture report completely contradicts page 5013 of the torture report! We’ve got to tell someone!”

Unfortunately, for as serious a subject as this is, it’s not a very exciting movie. Adam Driver endeavors to educate about the CIA torture authorized by the Bush administration. Grimly, it’s a people-sitting-in-front-of-computers kind of movie with the occasional two-hander with Diane Feinstein in an important-looking conference room. Filmmakers occasionally cut to detainees being tortured, which is a bummer that doesn’t really ratchet-up the drama. It’s clearly a very well-researched piece, and a sad period of American history, but it doesn’t make for a cozy night of viewing. It’s a medicine movie. As in: it’s time to take your medicine.

Ready or Not

When I’m watching the corniest of corny horror movies, I want to be surprised. I've seen it all. Shock me. Make me laugh. The finale of this movie did EXACTLY that. A+ for being the movie that it aspires to be and nothing more.

Uncut Gems

… is a neurotic fever dream, determined to irritate as much as possible. There are no likable characters and the conceit/plot is pointless. Filmmakers keep the plates spinning and there is an admirable amount of kinetic energy, but if it’s a morality play with no morality, what’s the point? It’s like an unfunny episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The music is terrible. Better versions of this kind of story have been told. Better movies about this have been made. Several people walked out of the theater in a huff in the middle of this mess. So, it's not a Christmas movie. I say: meh.

The Laundromat

Smart ensemble/anthology of people from all walks of life who were affected and/or perpetrating the rogue, offshore financial entities that resulted in The Panama Papers. The movie entertains and educates thanks to a top-notch cast including Meryl Streep and funny, speedy, unconventional direction from maestro Steven Soderbergh. A time may come when I’ll stop asking, “Why did a movie with a cast this great get relegated to Netflix?” But then I stop and I realize: some of the best movies of the year have been on Netflix. The times are changin’ quickly. Well-done, Soderbergh and company.

Bombshell

When there’s not one but two star-filled shows depicting you as an asshole, that’s how you know you’re an asshole. Along with the Showtime show, The Loudest Voice, this movie depicts Fox News asshole Roger Ailes in all of his grand assholery. You really have to be an asshole to make Megyn Kelly and Gretchen Carlson look sympathetic. Filmmakers do an excellent job juxtaposing the experienced anchors with the “newby” played by Margot Robbie who just wants to impress and get ahead. It wouldn’t work without her, and her regret about what is ultimately an extremely toxic environment is devastating. Filmmakers run a tight ship with a first-rate cast in one of the best dramas of the year. This was great – and it couldn’t be more relevant. Kudos to Jay Roach et al.

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Thoroughly enjoyed this – an emotional “way homer” from Lucasfilm and a final chapter, of sort, for Emperor Palpatine and his Sith experiment. It’s a “way homer” because as you’re driving home, it occurs to you that some of this doesn’t resolve anything, it just brings up more questions. But it achieves emotional depths that distract one’s encyclopedic knowledge of the galaxy. There are a million little comments I could make and questions I could ask -- adding things up and picking things apart. But I’ll need to see it again for that. Suffice it to say: the music was beautiful.

Apollo 11

With newly released archival footage of the Apollo 11 moon landing, this documentary isn’t designed as much to inform as it is to inspire. There is no voiceover, no interviews, and very few informational title cards. It combines spectacularly clear, freshly transferred film footage with the audio feeds and news reports from the launch. It bittersweetly reminds the audience of what Americans are capable of (making huge technological leaps) if they could be on the same page and work together, instead of being usurped and outsmarted by technological rivals and their propaganda and disinformation efforts. That being said, of the many faces shown working on the launch, very few of them were women or racially diverse. Distilled down to one theme: America needs to be inspired again, and we’re ready for some new leaders who can do it. See it in IMAX.

Knives Out

This is a really enjoyable night at the movies. It starts slow, but gradually picks up steam, and delights in the process. It reminds me of Poirot, or Murder by Death. Promos of the movie promise a lot of zaniness and unexpected twists. The truth is, while it’s expertly crafted, it’s not THAT twisty. It’s a pretty straight line if you pay attention. Most of these parlor murder mysteries rely on a genius detective (Scooby Doo?) to narrate how the crime went down. Inevitably, the criminal will just buckle and admit it, forfeiting their day in court. Embracing these tropes is the only way to have fun – to see where they lead. They didn’t reinvent the wheel here. It’s just a really well-made wheel.

The Irishman

This is a great production. You have to admire the thought and care that went into it. But it’s also an important landmark signaling the huge change in movie distribution and exhibition. Why did the studios pass on it? Why is a movie this big and star-studded on Netflix? Why isn’t there an intermission? Or why didn’t they divide it into two parts? The Oscars are still relevant, apparently, since Scorsese required the movie to be in theaters before streaming to qualify. When are the streamers and the theaters going to play nice and figure things out so as many eyeballs see the movie as possible?

Of the many notable features of the saga is the way the story truly spans a lifetime for these gangsters. Sure, plenty of movies (i.e. The Godfathers) depict gangsters as kids, growing up, getting sucked in or forced into a life of crime because that’s their best option. But there’s something about the way the filmmakers keep a constant thread here, finding a rhythm, repeating refrains, and showing the ice slowly melt away. It also functions as a history, teaching us about how powerful the gangsters were/are and how much US policy and American norms are dictated by gangsters who are only interested in power and lining their own pockets.

Accolades will be abundant and conversations will be had about theaters vs streaming. But it’s also a great drama critical of a certain kind of American experience in which shooting people in the face is the only way to get ahead.

Ford v Ferrari

Imagine if Michael Bay made a good movie. This is that movie. While it won’t really resonate, this is really loud, fun, and entertaining. The biopic parts of the story, while earnest and true, present a melancholy conclusion to what would otherwise be an action movie. Filmmakers handle the weird and sad bits with style, leaving the audience wondering how and why some races unfolded the way they did. There’s a lot of information about auto racing here, too. But it’s never boring thanks to the skillful exposition of the A-list cast. It’s a throwback to an era of big theaters and popcorn fun.

Doctor Sleep

To quiet the ghosts, Danny Torrence takes up drinking. You can see why he would do that, what with the traumatic childhood. But he continues to hear things and see the ghosts, and hear the thoughts of some of the souls near him. When one young, telekinetic woman reaches out through the cosmic ether to say hi, this starts to become… Scary. Legit scary. I haven’t seen scenes this scary in a while. Filmmakers do their best to honor Stephen King and Stanley Kubrick. Despite some unevenness and harried plot points, this is good. Much of the success is thanks to Rebecca Ferguson and her evil band of immortal, soul-sucking carnies. Filmmakers don’t hold back with the villain’s agendas or their ruination, and it’s uncharacteristically barbaric for a mainstream movie. I’m sure King is thrilled. As usual with movies adapted from big novels, some scenes feel rushed and some seem missing all together. But it’s fun to have a look at the inside of the Overlook Hotel again. That place doesn’t age!

Parasite

I’m supposed to love this. People I trust tell me I should love this. The critics say I should love this. But I didn’t really love this. I LIKED it. It was sharp and surprising. There were excellent themes about the haves and the have-nots. But I’m not sure what to take away from it. Who’s the protagonist? What do they want besides decent wifi? What have I learned? It’s well-acted, beautifully shot, and expertly designed. But it’s not love. We’ll have to just be friends.

Terminator: Dark Fate

So many of the Terminator sequels try their best to bend time and change the timeline so Schwarzenegger can come back, or to explain what happened to Eddie Furlong or whatever. Terminator movies cheat, and I’ve learned to accept that. Scene by scene, this is not bad. Action sequences are stylized and innovative. The acting of the primarily female cast is good. But it’s suffering from sequel-itis. There are no stakes. The past and the future are always changing. The bad terminators are always newer, better, and more destructive, but that never matters when someone can just pop back and change the timeline and suddenly the hero is Claire Danes or Emilia Clarke. Skynet doesn’t even seem to be a threat anymore. It’s getting to be like Quantum Leap. So, while Tim Miller’s direction is fresh and fast, the saga is aging ungracefully.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Oh, no! The giant monsters are coming! What do we do??
Release Godzilla.
Are you insane? He’ll kill us all.
No. Godzilla wants peace. He will help us.
It’s so crazy it just might work…

Stuber

I watched this on the plane. Although a lot of the cursing was censored, and the strip club scene was pitifully cropped, this was FUNNY. Dave Bautista and Kumail Nanjiani understand and master that perfect, buddy-comedy dynamic. Bicker about everything but save each other’s asses when it counts. The director constructs Rube Goldberg action scenes triggering unexpected and hysterical chain reactions during which the leads are suitably vocal and alarmed. It's a throwback to the Shane Black buddy-cop movies of yore; skillfully nostalgic but with a new and unexpected wise-cracky tone. It’s light and funny; a solid airplane movie.

Dolemite is My Name

It’s an unalloyed pleasure to watch Eddie Murphy preen and riff as Rudy Ray Moore in this rags-to-riches, underdog biopic. A lot of this feels almost formula: the plucky gang of misfits, the cooperate naysayers, the supportive woman, the over-confident loser. Think Bowfinger. But as ginned up as the plot can be at times, Eddie’s performance is the gold standard. It’s purely entertaining and, believe it or not, heartwarming. Kudos to Netflix, who are on a winning streak making what USED to be considered safe bets but aren’t any more for some reason. So far, one of the best movies of the year.